Whether the marriage is happy or not, suspicion is a taboo. The experience of three women tells you: pay attention to these three points.

Recently, many netizens confided to me that the husband and wife are usually busy with work and spend less time together, so it is difficult for the family to reunite during the holidays and encounter the epidemic period. The extension of vacation time not only did not enhance the relationship between husband and wife, but deepened the contradiction between husband and wife. If they are not together, they will miss each other. If they have a chance to get along, it will increase trouble and lead to war.

0 1 ? Suspicion is the biggest hidden danger of marriage.

Ms. Wang is a gentle and considerate woman. She loves her husband very much. But she has a problem, which is suspicion. A few days ago, because I didn't trust my husband, I searched the chat records of my husband's mobile phone, and finally let my husband get angry with her: if you don't believe me, you will get divorced.

Before getting married, her husband, Mr. Liu, had a girlfriend who was his college classmate. They used to love each other very much, but because Mr. Liu's family was in the countryside, his girlfriend's parents didn't agree with them to determine the relationship, and his girlfriend finally broke up with him reluctantly. After all, it was Mr. Liu's first love, and he couldn't get out for a long time.

Ms. Wang had just started working and was a colleague with her husband, Mr. Liu. She knows Mr. Liu's sadness, and she can't compare with Mr. Liu's predecessor in terms of appearance and figure. But with the passage of time, Ms. Wang had a good impression on Mr. Liu and took the initiative to pursue Mr. Liu.

The relationship between the two was very smooth. They got married and got married with the consent of their families, and both sides were very loving. Later, her husband's ex-girlfriend transferred to their city. After the establishment of the classmate group, the two also got in touch, which made Ms. Wang panic and afraid that her husband and ex-girlfriend would rekindle their old love.

As a result, Ms. Wang began to pay attention to her husband's every move and became suspicious. Although they work in the same unit, in different departments and floors, she often secretly checks her husband's backpack and mobile phone, and often calls her husband's office to make sure that he is not at his post.

When her husband went out, she followed quietly. Her series of abnormal behaviors made her husband feel much better. After observation, she found no abnormal behavior of her husband. But during the Chinese New Year, she sometimes watched her husband chat on mobile phone WeChat, and she became suspicious again. She has always speculated that her husband has a connection with his predecessor, and sometimes she is even more uneasy when she sees her husband laughing. Finally, after her husband went to bed at night, she looked through her husband's mobile phone and was caught by Mr. Liu. They had a quarrel in the middle of the night. The husband took the quilt to his son's room, and she knew that she had angered her husband.

It's almost a week, and her husband is as cold as ice. She tried to talk to her husband several times, but he was unmoved. This made her extremely uneasy.

02? Suspicion turns all worries into ulterior motives.

Xiaoya, 35, her husband is a career-oriented man. In order to make her live a better life, she quit her job and went to the south to start a business with her classmates. In order to support her husband, Xiaoya shouldered the burden of family, took care of her in-laws and sent her children to school. Sometimes she complains, but looking at the big house where her husband has earned money in recent years, she has a sense of satisfaction.

She used to be a dreamer, but now she is troubled by endless housework and children's crying. Her husband grew up in business, but she stopped and became a housewife. Sometimes chatting with classmates, she feels that she has widened the gap and began to complain that her husband doesn't love himself, regardless of his family, and must be in love with someone else.

Especially at home during the Spring Festival, she hopes her husband can do housework and reduce her burden. However, her husband is away all the year round and is not good at cooking and washing clothes. He is either lying down or playing with his mobile phone, which makes her seriously suspect that her husband has a third party.

She became suspicious and kept asking questions all day. The more she asked, the more suspicious she became. Although her husband swore to her that he only loved her, she didn't believe it at all. The husband also thinks that Xiaoya has sacrificed a lot for this family. She doesn't go out during the Spring Festival and has a lot of time to spend with her and her children, so she tries to set aside energy to chat with her and secretly buy her a Valentine's Day gift online to surprise her.

However, instead of making Xiaoya happy, he became "broken glass". When the courier sent the gift home, Xiaoya sneered and said, "Suddenly you are so nice to me? Did you do something wrong outside? " Let the husband suddenly blacken his face, pick up the gift and fall to the ground.

03? Suspicion will alienate two close people.

Fang Ming has been married to her husband for a year. She almost fell out with her husband during the Spring Festival this year, but she has been uncomfortable.

The reason is that on New Year's Day, her husband sent a New Year message on WeChat. Her husband was in the bathroom when the phone rang. Fang Ming glanced at it. The content is very ordinary, but the bad thing is that the nickname on WeChat is "Love you unchanged". She immediately asked her husband what the other person had to do with her.

My husband saw it and said with a smile, this is Xiao Liu from our office. She likes joking. Her nickname was teased by everyone in the office at that time, saying that texting homosexuals would definitely make his wife jealous. Unexpectedly, this really made everyone guess right, and Fang Ming was one of them.

Fang Ming is inferior, because her family is in the countryside, and only because of her beautiful appearance has she won her husband's love. With her husband's good performance in recent years, he was also promoted to department head. She is afraid that many people around her will be interested after her husband's status is improved. With the text message "I love you forever" on New Year's Day, she suspected that her husband had a heart.

She began to observe her husband's behavior and found that he spent more and more time holding his mobile phone, sometimes staying up late at night 12. Now the internet is convenient, and their TV for the New Year is rarely turned on. A person playing mobile phone in bed, even the number of communication is reduced.

Originally, the long vacation was boring, but Fang Ming was just not at ease. Sometimes she glanced at her husband's mobile phone and was playing a game. She is thinking, will her husband play with the person who "loves you forever"? I also sneaked a look at his WeChat chat while he was not paying attention, and the result was nothing.

She knew that she was unhealthy and upset, but she couldn't help wondering. Fortunately, my husband is a careless person. Sometimes he sees her looking at his mobile phone, and he doesn't lose his temper with her petty mind.

From the confidences of the above three ladies, I found that they all have one thing in common: no matter how strong their feelings are, they can't stand the damage of suspicion. The distrust and suspicion of the husband leads to the weakening or even breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife. Some people say that the best proof of love is trust. It is the lack of trust in the relationship between husband and wife that leads one party to doubt the other.

Example 1: Doubt is a terrible psychological misunderstanding.

Ms. Wang distrusts her husband and is afraid of rekindling her old love with her predecessor. She also followed her husband and checked his mobile phone information privately. This behavior is a great distrust of her husband, which leads to her anger and separation.

In life, we always like to constantly guess each other's feelings, constantly doubt each other's thoughts, and then start to panic, start to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and start to blame ourselves for not being good enough. Experience tells you that caring too much is the beginning of loss. I hope Ms. Wang will take a warning.

Example 2: Lover's suspicion leads to emotional imbalance between husband and wife.

When one party invests more in family life than the other, there will be emotional imbalance psychologically. Because people with tilted psychological scales often complain that they invest too much and the other party returns too little, they will have rebellious psychology.

Complaining about the other half is actually a sign of love. It is because I love this family and my husband that I lose my temper with him. If the other half doesn't understand the expression of the lover, the result will deepen the suspicion of the lover and think that the other person doesn't love himself. People in this situation will be more frustrated psychologically, and they will be more disappointed if their husbands can't talk sweet words.

The reason for this sense of imbalance shows that Xiaoya is enterprising. In order to support her husband's entrepreneurship, she sacrificed herself, found the gap compared with her classmates, and was afraid that her husband would betray her. In fact, this is the psychological gap caused by her lack of confidence.

Suggestion: Find the reasons from yourself, keep a correct attitude, communicate with your husband more, build self-confidence, pay attention to self-growth and reduce suspicion.

Ex. 3: Husband and wife are equal, and suspicion may come from the inferiority of one party.

If we are inferior to others in some respects, we don't have to replace our due respect with inferiority or jealousy. Husband and wife should know how to respect the other half. Fromm said, "Love is an act of faith. Whoever has no self-confidence will have no love. "

Fang Ming and her husband are both very young, and there is a lack of communication between them. Fang Ming wants to overcome her inferiority complex. Her husband can choose you to marry you, which shows that you are superior to others. Husband's promotion is a good thing, not the reason why you suspect him of cheating.

Suggestion: Everyone has their own social circle. If you want to live a happy life, you must respect each other's privacy. Don't judge others with your own psychology. You can talk to your husband directly if you have any questions, but it won't help to keep them in your heart.

Any noisy, jealous, suspicious and childish behavior of lovers is reasonable and normal. No matter how perfect and dignified a person is, once in love, he is like a child, occasionally selfish, occasionally extravagant and occasionally willful. ......

Therefore, men and women in marriage should abandon suspicion and learn to love and understand, because the code to eliminate barriers is sincerity, and the strength close to the heart is love and understanding. Understanding can ease the relationship between husband and wife, sew up the gap between you a little, and love can regenerate your feelings.

Tong Ling said: True love lasts too long and can withstand suspicion and wind and rain. Let's be less suspicious of the people we love, more considerate, abandon negative mentality and learn to be tolerant, so that the love between husband and wife can last forever and the marriage life will be harmonious and happy.