Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - Cheating with good friends and texting.

Cheating with good friends and texting.

Funny message sent to boyfriend:

Tell you a trick to remember things: research has found that the simple physical action of making a fist with the right hand can temporarily change the working mode of the brain, thus improving memory. When remembering things, you can make a fist with your right hand to help you remember; When remembering something, you might as well make a fist with your left hand, so that you can remember it faster.

On the bus, we all stared at a beautiful woman in a short skirt, and suddenly the beautiful woman turned around and slapped me and told me to get out! Shit, I'm not the only one peeking at her thighs. There are so many people in the car, if you don't hit me, hit me. Then I was very upset, put on my pants and got off!

The wolf finally caught the sheep. Kotaro counted the sheep in the pot and said happily to the wolf, Dear, you steamed nine sheep! Cang Lang hesitated: cut off all retreat?

Lu Xun gave his employees three words: 1. Time is like water in a sponge. You can always get on the subway if you are willing to squeeze. 2. Where there is a genius, I spend other people's coffee time brushing Weibo. In fact, there is no road on the ground, and the company closed down because more people left.

According to legend, in ancient times, Kong Rong's father gave Kong Rong several pears, large and small, to share with his friends to eat Kong Rong. He gave his friend several big pears and left the smallest one. He was glad that he could eat them, so he asked Kong Rong: Why do you share them like this? Kong Rong said angrily, I don't like pears.

It rained after work yesterday, and the road was slippery and blocked. I saw a girl standing in the rain for a long time on the side of the road and couldn't get a taxi. I couldn't bear it, so I drove over, rolled down the window and kindly reminded her: Girl, you are too ugly to get a taxi. The girl smiled and said, so this is why you bought a car?

Once the teacher was talking about the family gene map. The teacher asked: If his daughter is ill, what is the probability that she will marry a normal man and have children? I replied: it may be zero! The teacher asked why! I said: don't forget that there is a disease in the world called infertility! Teacher: Get out! ! !

If you were given two girlfriends, one with big breasts but ugly, and the other with good looks but no breasts, which would you choose? It depends on which is more expensive, breast enhancement or plastic surgery.

I went to work at noon and bought some bananas. I happened to meet a beautiful colleague who was pregnant and gave her one. She said politely, no, no, really. I said stupidly: I can eat without it.

Why are you crying? So what if he doesn't like you? Remember, I don't like you either.

One day, I happened to see a green leaf on our math teacher's tooth (the teacher estimated it was a jiaozi who ate leek stuffing at noon). After a while, I found that the leaf had disappeared and appeared on the neck of a girl in our class after class.

I was drunk yesterday, so I took off my clothes and took a bath in bed. The door is unlocked. In the middle of washing, I heard the door open, and I asked loudly, Who? At this moment, a trembling male voice came: Your mother, then I will continue to wash. When I came out of the shower, I found that my mobile phone and wallet were missing from my clothes. I still can't remember where I put my mobile wallet.

Humorous message for boyfriend:

1. I used to be alone and felt very happy. Later, when I met you, I began to miss, care and suffer. Because I can't always be with you, but my love always exists.

2. Because love, love and sweet words will never be pale, a happy life will always be full of expectations, and the heart that loves you will never go bad, and all troubles will be abandoned outside you and me!

3. I know because I love you; Understand because you know; Because I understand, I am patient; Because of forbearance, it is fulfilled! Because of love, I am willing to read you all my life. This feeling is meaningful and beautiful! Couples miss text messages

4. Because of love, I began to sleep at night; Because of love, I began to be obsessed with love songs; Because of love, I began to become literary; Because of love, I started texting. I just want to tell you: I love you!

5. Because I miss you, my fingers will not move; Because I love you, tears will not flow; Because I am looking forward to you, time will not go; Because I didn't dare to say it until I waited for you, and I have loved you for a long time!

6. Spring breeze turns the windmill, rotates in the warmth, supports a small umbrella with spring rain, nourishes it in romance, takes a photo with spring eyes, and wanders in your world. Flowers bloom in April, love you, continue.

7. Use you to measure time. Everything with you is day, and when you lose it, it will come to night; Use you to distinguish places. With you, it is heaven, without you, it will fall into hell. Dear, may we be together forever, and true love will remain unchanged.

8. Create a soul mate with sweetness, paint a bright future with happiness, look forward to future life with happiness, and paint your love with beauty. I am glad to have your love in this hot season!

9. Write with warm eyes and draw your shy and innocent smile; Write down the words in a sweet tone and compose a happy life movement. Dear, I love you forever! Sunshine and wind and rain are inseparable!

10. Read the message with your heart and express my affection everywhere. I miss you after the disaster of lovesickness, and I want to chase you and love you to death. I have the courage to say I love you and tell you clearly that I love you and love you. Winter love message

1 1. Affectionate warmth, the sound of harps and flutes around the beam, the sound of love songs, pride in the snow, the cold winter has not gone with the ice, and good news has entered your heart. I miss you, and in every piece of music, I sing the blessings of my life.

12. How much love can be repeated, how many people are willing to wait, how many short messages can be retransmitted, and how many words are nonsense? I just want to tell you that I have identified you in my life. Raise your mobile phone and surrender!

13. The world is so fragrant because of flowers; Because there is water, it is naturally cool; Because of love, life is so sunny; Because of you, I am happy, so I wander. I have you in this life, thank God, I have you in this life, and hope flies!

14. It's different because of you. Because of you in the dream, it becomes very sweet; Because I have you in my heart, I become very happy; Life is full of poetry because of you. It's good to have you!

15. Because of you, my sky will be broad; Because of you, my land will be far away; Because of you, my life is colorful; My world will be different because of you. I love you!

16. Because of sincerity and honesty; Because of honesty, it is simple; Because it is simple, it is easy; Because it is easy, it lasts; Because for a long time; So success. Career is like this, so is first love.

17. The Milky Way is a ditch, which makes it gentle to meet the bridge; Love is a ditch, and sincerely build a bridge to hold hands. No matter how high the mountain is, the truth is divided; No matter how deep the ditch is, there is always a way to go. True love has no distance, and lovers are always together.

18. Hidden pain, I took off the wings of an angel, because I don't want to see you look up here, and I endured the injury. I don't follow the wind anymore, because I don't want you to feel so empty. Dear, I love you and I am willing to do this for you.

19. Eternal love needs: heartache, your enthusiasm for me; Stand up to hardships and insipid persistence; You must be loyal until death do us part; And the belief in holding your hand and growing old with your son.

20. You never know how much you love someone, and you won't know that you can't extricate yourself until you see her with another person. Many people love her, but only one person can accompany her home on a rainy night. Love is defended by action!

A text message to my boyfriend.

Do you know what it's like to swing in the air? I like your attitude, hot and cold. Can you tell me if you really care about me and always pay attention to me? I am like a drunk fish. As long as I have bait, I will take the bait. Whether it's steamed or braised, you must taste my taste, because you won't know my ups and downs until you taste it.

Maybe it was a mistake to meet you at the beginning, but I have no regrets. It may be a mistake to like you slowly, and I have never regretted it, because I really love you!

The unforgettable past has long faded away with the wind and cloud, just like the bell at dusk, there is no need to sigh. ...

5. For you; I'd rather be alone all my life. For you; I'd rather be alone all my life. When you come back, I will find the warmth of you and me in the past.

Please don't be stingy to say "I love you" and "You are my deepest concern" to me, because girls can't get enough of these words. But please be sincere when you say it. If I read the twinkle in your eyes, stop talking.

7. A stranger. You're welcome. Don't worry. How can people who don't like jealousy care? Trust me, trust their feelings.

8. You always blame me for not writing love letters when I am chasing you. However, I think the real "love letter" should be written at every moment after marriage. ...

9. If you don't go home, no matter how late, no matter how far, no matter how busy, please take time to send me a message telling me that you are safe and reassuring me. Otherwise, I will worry and think. I would have done the same.

10, if possible, I hope to have a husband and wife career. The mutual trust and support revealed in the career of husband and wife, as well as the love, trust and responsibility revealed in the eyes of both sides, make each other grateful for everything. When you smile and look at your other half with satisfaction, when she (he) looks at the other half with pride and satisfaction, it is the driving force and stimulant for his (her) success, because it is the spiritual pillar and the inner richness and feeling of emotion.

1 1, can you know from afar that I have been wanting to see you? Although you say you really love me, I need you by my side more.

12, I dare not say that we will be together forever, because I am not sure ... I just want to love each other every day in this limited time.

13, little one, why don't you sleep? Wait for my sweet words? You greedy bastard. See how I can fix you in the future, good boy! Go to bed early!

14 Someone once asked me: Who do you want to see most when you are sick? Who do you want to share with when you meet happy things? I replied, that person is you!

15. If there is a competition that misses you, if there is a competition that loves you, I will definitely participate and win the championship, because I am the person who misses you the most and loves you the most in the world.

16, I hope you can earn money to support your family, but whether you are poor or millionaire in the future, please allow me to have my own business, just a little. Of course, I will always put my family and the responsibility of taking care of you and your children first.

17, you are my winter cotton-padded jacket, summer ice cream, light bulb at night, and hungry bread.

18, autumn has come, and it's not yellow leaves that fall, but pieces that dance with your memory.

19, I don't care how many people you have loved and what you have done. I will not pry into your past, because I like you now and appreciate your wisdom now. Let bygones be bygones. I just want you to love me in the days after choosing me. That's enough.

20, burning love, burning love, burning wife: I will love! ! Running naked on the moon with little fat pig, hot!

2 1, I wish you a happy new year, good health, a happy family, high aspirations, living in a foreign building, walking around in a bowl car and eating wild vegetables until you can't stop.

22. The taste of the first cup of Irish coffee was fermented long after the thought was suppressed. Irish coffee, suitable for missing mood.

I know there are many beautiful girls outside, but today you will choose me-not because of my beauty but because of my wisdom, which I believe you have. Never lie to me. If one day you like another girl, don't keep it from me. I think you will choose her because she is more suitable for you than me. I hate people who cheat me. At that time, even if my heart hurts to death, I won't haunt you anymore. Turn around and leave, I wish you happiness. ...

24. I am unique and irreplaceable. You are also unique. Only by the word "fate" can we stay together in this life and cherish this fate that was repaired thousands of years ago. As long as we have a common goal and a common vision, I believe everything is possible.

25. The most romantic thing I can think of is growing old with you.

26, must learn to communicate, because only the ditch can pass, no ditch is impassable. So we need to study together, grow together, accumulate a common language, accumulate common hobbies ... so that we can become good partners, good friends and good companions in the future.

27. The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you until we are too old to go anywhere, and you still regard me as a treasure in your hand.

28. We try not to quarrel. Although I have never met a lover who has never quarreled, I tried my best. Although sometimes willful, but not unreasonable. Even if you quarrel, promise me not to break up easily, because some words can't be taken back ... If I say the word "break up" first, please understand, it's because men and women have different thinking modes. That's my duplicity.

29, flying in all directions, the old wings are hot and cold. Have fun, leave the bitterness, and there will be more children in school. You should have something to say, Wan Li's clouds, Qian Shan's snow, who are you only looking for?

30. I am not a saint, but I am just an ordinary person. I hope you will succeed in the future. I hope we don't live a hard life, and I hope we can live a free life with wealth. But even if it doesn't happen, I still love you. Just promise me that you will never give up working in the best direction.

3 1, I don't care that you have nothing now, as long as you love me enough, I can live a mediocre life with you; Because the love of the soul can resist all temptations. I'm not afraid to travel long distances because I want to see you.

32. You are a plum in the mountain. I am a magpie flying in the sky. Magpies lean on plum blossoms, and the wind and rain do not fly.

33. I sent you a message, nothing more, just missing you, really.

34. Home is where you are. If you decide to travel around the world, I will accompany you through thick and thin.

It's not a problem to say I love you, but I can't help but want to marry you. I'm afraid you can't accept it, so I have to hide you in my heart.

36. I miss you so much that without you, it's like a job without a computer. Come on, I'll wait for you.

37. I don't know that I have been wandering at the crossroads for a long time. After waiting for a few years, I just feel that it is a long time. I can even breathe rhythmically! A love, a greeting, how are you? Where have you been these years? Don't keep me waiting!

38. If you persist in lying to me, please lie to me all my life until the last day of my life, making me feel that I am the only one you love.

What a surprise to see you! Falling in love with you is too easy! I'm glad to have you-! Losing you hurts me-! It's too hard to forget you-! I want to cry when I think of you-!

40. Every night, I am waiting for your footsteps to go home. It's too dark, I'm afraid you can't see clearly, so I'll light a lamp for you in my heart to illuminate your way home.

4 1, loving you is a kind of torture for me, but I have to torture myself because I can't help loving you.

42. Four ideals of Huanhuan: Love me forever; Ok, never leave me; Marry me; Be a good boy and always be my little boy!

43. Send you a blessing. May your life be better because of its existence.

Please respect and respect my relatives, just as I will respect and respect your relatives; Please also respect my friends, just as I respect your friends.

45. My night is your day. When I miss you, you are sleeping. When you woke up, I met you in my dream. The watch I am wearing is your time. I will miss you day and night.

46. I hope that after 50 years, the old man who is with me is still you, and you are still willing to hold me in your arms.

Since my choice is you, I decided to stay with you all my life. No matter whether you are rich or poor, handsome or ordinary, what I value is only your noble personality and responsibility for life.

48. Sometimes I make mistakes, please forgive me, because I am not mature enough, and sometimes I say something that makes you uncomfortable. Please be tolerant. That's not my intention-that's what I want to get your love information.

49, love at first sight, two of a kind, fate! Hold your hand and grow old with your son! Our agreement will last forever!

50. Everyone is awake and I am drunk, and the heart is the most precious. I don't regret meeting true feelings and true love, and this life is only for you (the secret is in the fifth word of every sentence)

5 1, I hope I can have breakfast at home and go home for dinner if I can, if time permits, because I am afraid of being alone and feel no family atmosphere.

Give your boyfriend a coquetry message, and give your boyfriend an ambiguous message.

A coquetry message to her boyfriend:

If you are a green leaf, I am a breeze rustling among your leaves; If you are lost in a river, I am the moon hiding sadness and resentment; If you are a woman picking lotus in Jiangnan, I will be the most beautiful flower under your wrist.

Smile and my heart will beat with you. If you keep laughing, my heart will keep beating! So you have to keep laughing, so I won't die because of you!

If one day my white hair is no longer beautiful, will you still stroke my cheek and say that you will accompany me to the ends of the earth? If naive old, the sea really dried up, I just want to be in Qian Qian with you for thousands of years.

I don't love you. I lied to you. I don't want to lie, but I just don't love you. I just want to lie to you. I can't let you guess my heart.

The Woods we walked through, the blue, yellow and pink flowers we watched, everything remained the same. When will you come back and we will travel together?

A man with a heart will always remember everyone who has appeared in his life, so I will always think of you. Count mine over and over again every night when the stars set.

The wind is flying, and it is your stumbling block forever. No one will know how painful this missing is, how to completely empty your heart and tear it up without mercy. Your figure is always dancing in my heart, which makes me intoxicated.

I just woke up from a dream and felt like I was going to cry: your red lips, your nails and your long hair have already been embedded in my muscles and bones; Sunset weaves love fairy tales, and the root of hunger and thirst reaches your feet through the rocks.

Give you an answer, I don't know when I can go with you; A fragile heart needs to be strong most. If you can't bear to throw it away, you have to cherish it. Too much happiness, but I'm getting smaller and smaller, and I won't break up tomorrow.

Even if I am far away, I will not be separated from you, because my mind is full of memories of you, and my sleepy and gentle lips and eyes will torture my memories to the fullest.

I'm not that handsome, I play badly, I can't earn extra money, and I have a bad temper. Thank you for still loving me. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I sincerely confess to you that infatuation will never change in this life, but our love will!

1, don't do this!

2, people don't want it! Hmm! ~ ~ people don't follow! ~~

If you want it, people will want it. If you don't give it, you will be ignored.

4. No one is with you! Let me accompany you!

5. Please, she is a girl!

6. You are a fool!

7, oh, you are good or bad, (bullying others) hum! ~ ~ I hate it! ~~

8. You are so annoying!

9. Seeing you in a particularly good mood!

10, I haven't chatted with you all day, and I feel something is wrong!

1 1. Honey, I'm tired. Please go and cook! No matter how tired the person is, he will run into the kitchen.

12, thank you.

13, you are bad! I want to tell my mother that you bully girls! ~~

14, people just want you to care more!

15, people are unhappy!

16, I ignore you, which is really annoying.

17, I didn't!

18, no, no, I want it

19, in fact, coquetry and care are linked. When he is not around, you should take the initiative to call him and ask him why he misses me. I miss you very much. Remember to add clothes when it's cold. It's rustic, but it's practical. I think it is more touching than any coquetry.

Ambiguous message to boyfriend:

Loving you for 10,000 years is exaggerated, loving you for 5,000 years is hopeless, loving you for 1,000 years is absurd, loving you for 100 years is too long, and loving you for 70 years in succession. As long as I am healthy, this is my strength.

Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, the day I can be with you is a beautiful day!

The old road is sparse, the sun is setting, and heartbroken people are waiting for your call!

I remember someone saying that if you find a four-petal clover, you will get happiness. I have never seen you, but now I have found you, the four-leaf clover in my heart.

Mud is a short mouth! Mud is the smell of the nest! I look at the mud affectionately! I want to say to mud, I lack mud!

You are like lice on my body. I would be uncomfortable without you.

You are poison, seeping into my blood, seeping into my nerves and controlling my brain. The poisoning incident occurred on February 65438, 2004. Please don't forget to give me the antidote!

All your mistakes are mine. The mistake is that I didn't appear in your life earlier. I love you and care about you! I will make it up to you!

You think I should, you should miss me more, because you stole my heart!

Dear husband, remember: if the husband doesn't send flowers to his wife on Valentine's Day after marriage, her wife will put a handful of dishes in the vase at home.

My love is open for you, like white lightning breaking the sky; My love runs for you, like red blood filling my body.

I am a bird that loves you, but I can't fly. Reason: I can get rid of gravity, but I can't escape your attraction!

I shot the arrow of love into your heart, and you became my prisoner. I've decided to sentence you to life imprisonment and keep you in my heart forever without bail.

Thinking of you is a kind of sad beauty and sweet melancholy. In my heart, it is a kind of warmth that nothing can replace.

Send a text message to your boyfriend

1, successful men believe that "the colorful flags are fluttering outside, but the red flags at home don't fall". Mistress San should pay attention. You are like a bird in the air. Why do you have to compete with the birds in the cage? You have your own vast sky!

2. When you left me for a second, the situation changed and the rain plummeted; The moment you left me, tsunami and earthquake, the sky was dark; The day you left me, time froze and there was no life. It is conceivable that you can't leave me all the time, I want to be with you forever!

3. How gloomy my world would be if I hadn't met you; How miserable my life would be if I didn't fall in love with you. You gave me light and hope. In order to repay you, I decided to protect you for life!

I deeply believe that falling in love with your "laughter, willfulness, gentleness, dependence, selfishness, innocence, carelessness, madness and quietness" is more real than vigorous love. Love words are endless.

5. Love really needs courage. Have the courage to show, have the courage to start, have the courage to persist and have the courage to end. Face up to gossip and sweet talk. With courage, love will be happy and beautiful.

6. Love is not a flower, so it will not wither. Love is not tea, so it won't be boring. You are not Altman, so you will not be invincible. I'm not Spider-Man, so I won't fly over the eaves. But you and I are fish and water, and we are the fresh-keeping cabinets of love. We only want to be with you in this life, such as playing with fish.

7, go once, see once, Xifeng is not as good as Furong, ask once, love once, Zhao Wei is pregnant with a big S family, so far it is hard to find love, silent once, lonely once, knock on the door of love when I see you, relax, be brave, and love you forever in this life.

8. Pay attention to heatstroke prevention in dog days. In order to test and prevent heatstroke, a special summer table is issued: summer rain bursts to relieve summer heat, drink more green tea to reduce dryness, prevent insect bites from Wen Zi, be optimistic and worry-free, and exercise, especially in Beijing. If you can keep reading and understanding, congratulations on your heatstroke!

9. I like you, but I never said it. I don't know if you are like me. My inferiority makes me afraid to speak, and I am willing to wait. This kind of waiting is suffering and torture, but because I like you, I feel happy.

10, the earth is still turning, it will be dark and the wind is still a little cold. I will still miss you. The earth will be tired, the sky will be bright and the wind may stop. I will still miss you, dear. Take care.

1 1, 8. 18 send one, send an invitation and send a blessing; 8. 18 send one, blow a kiss to send love; 8. 18 get one free, send a red envelope and send wealth; 8. Send one on18, and send it together with the text message.

12. Sunset soothes your tired day. Xinghui will rub your sore back. In the evening, you should unload the burden of work, have fun, have a rest, listen to light music, enjoy wine and food, relax, wash away your troubles and have a good sleep. Sweet dreams. Good night.

13. We have been together for more than two years and haven't asked you anything. Now I have a simple request. Just nod. Well, can you write your name in my household registration book?

14, in this hot day, in order to make this news bring you a little coolness, I specially soaked a pot of hands with ice cubes and mint leaves. I hope you can feel the coolness of ice and the fragrance of mint when you receive the message!

15, there is a sentence that has been suppressed for a long time. I want to say it and swallow it. I can't help it I just wanted to tell you by texting. Please be patient: it's cold, so put on more clothes. What I want to say is: I love you!

16, the sun is your smile, the moon is your brow, the air is filled with your breath, and you are immersed in the thoughts of time. Since I met you, my life has changed completely, only sweet love.

17, there are three important days in this world, and the day you are there will touch the heartstrings; On that day there, I was no longer lonely in joy; On the day when "I" and "you" become "us", they will be happy forever.

18, time is like a river, and love is like a fish in the middle of the river. Try the taste of lovelorn several times, and you will be able to swim in the rapids with ease; What belongs to you is yours after all, and fate will certainly hold a pair of gentle hands that belong to you!

19, warm a glass of milk for you with Chaoyang, make a warm fried dough stick for you with sincerity, play a comfortable song for you with breeze, and say a sincere blessing to you with short messages. I hope to receive you, and you will feel very comfortable, passionate and smooth in your work on the new day! Good morning, friend!

20. Love turns around, dries the tears in the corner of her eyes and says goodbye. The happiness of the past has disappeared, preventing love from spreading in my heart and forgetting all the sweet vows. From now on, we are even!

2 1, the most beautiful thing in space is that two stars set each other off, the most beautiful thing in the world is that two people meet, the most beautiful thing in the sky is that two clouds follow each other, and the most beautiful thing in the sea of people is that two hearts touch each other. Dear, thank you for loving me.

22. You don't need to argue about what script to play, you don't need to bear deliberate expectations and romance, let love go with the flow, let your heart relax and calm down, and find the real answer to love and not love!

23, the sky thundered, the protagonist appeared, singing and dancing, looks like Shen Yan, and the world is more wonderful with her. This person is not others, but you who read the information, and the protagonist is you every day!

24. I will pump the West Lake dry, I will tear down the Great Wall with explosives, I will name the pond in my backyard Bohai Sea, and I will name my vegetable field Sangtian. To avoid such a tragedy, please accept my love for you.

26. A year's plan lies in spring, and a day's plan lies in the morning. A greeting gives you a new mood, and a blessing gives you a new starting point. May you be happy from this morning! Good morning!

27, the sky changes, the earth changes, the sea changes, people change, the world changes, changes, changes. The only constant is my love for you, my love for you, and a heart that has long been intoxicated with you.

28. Do you know why the end of the world is coming? Because you haven't promised to marry me. Why? Because if I don't have you, the earth will be destroyed. For the safety of innocent people and the development of the world, promise me: marry me and the world will be brilliant!

29. Let Cupid express his love, lest you be afraid of pain when he shoots an arrow. Let him hold the old moon, lest his red line tie you up uncomfortably. Let him embrace God's love, for fear that the great momentum will scare you. Let me express myself,' I love you'.

30. The crescent moon in the night sky is really white. That's my pure and sincere wish for you to have a good dream. The stars in the sky light up the whole sky. That's my bright eyes watching you sleep peacefully. Good night, my friend!