Humorous sentences of dry rice people

humorous sentences of the dry rice man (selected 4 sentences) 1. Life is not rehearsed, but broadcast live every day, which not only has low ratings, but also has low salary. 2.? Xiao Lizi, you can describe me in one word. ? Xiao Lizi replied:? Cha! ? Little plum pawn. 3. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating, no existence! 4. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisement in taxi: Is it blocked? Take the subway! Don't worry about what you can't solve today, because you can't solve it tomorrow! 6. Making money is a kind of ability, and spending money is a kind of technology. Although my ability is insufficient, my technology is superior. 7. Is it hot? Don't you spit out your tongue in this heat, don't you know you won't sweat? 8. The most painful thing in the world is to go to work. What is more painful is to go to work every day. What is more painful is to work overtime. What is more painful is to work overtime for nothing! 9. On the first day of marriage, my wife cooked two dishes. I was shocked to eat the first one. Is there anything worse in the world? I cried after eating the second one, and it really did! 1. Grandma said she wanted to read a book, so I took out my tablet and told her that she could read it with this. Grandma was very surprised. She took the tablet and looked at it, then licked her fingers to turn pages on it. 11. There used to be a man who sold fried dough sticks, a typical narrow-minded. Fried well, reluctant to sell, eat it yourself. If it was badly fried, it could not be sold, and it was eaten by itself. 12. My husband worked the night shift last night. I sent a message to my husband before going to bed: I was almost smoked to death by my own fart last night. Husband replied: I'm sorry I didn't share it with you at home. 13. go to McDonald's to buy a cone: A roller? I will never forget the way the waiter looked at me. 14. A few days ago, I went to eat noodles and saw some pepper under the front table. There happened to be a can next to me. I didn't look at it, so I poured it down and ended up with a bowl of toothpicks. 15. As soon as others praise me, I worry that others don't praise me enough. 16. I'm going to be a soldier. Say goodbye to my parents before I get on the bus. Looking at the trembling figure of my parents in the car, I couldn't help but burst into tears. I bowed deeply to them in the car and my head was caught by the door. 17. teacher:? What's your relationship with pigs after this test? ? Student:? Teacher-student relationship 18. From today on, everyone can call me a new English name: Wodetian? Mei Tianli? Visenmo? Ramo handsome? Shuai de bu Yao bu Yao? Mad? Step on Ma Shuai. 19. When I was cooking for the first time, I asked my dad how he was. He said: This salt is fried well, with a faint egg fragrance? 2. When I don't want to talk to you, it's useless for you to coax me. At this time, you have to give me a red envelope. 21. When cooking at noon, my mother said: Go, cut the carrots into diced meat! female servant can not do it! 22. As a senior female bachelor, I was advised: Why don't you be religious, so at least it's taken? ! 23. In the gale, a salesman leaned against the corner and said loudly to the phone. Ok! Ok! Ok! ? A passer-by suddenly stopped, stepped back and walked to him, handing him the egg filling cake. 24. Why do parents expect their children to go to college? Maybe it's because of this that the child can get away. 25. Mom sent me a circle of friends. What's the title? Sex with military men? I'll open it. Is it a quilt? 26.? Why do some girls cover half their faces with their hands when taking pictures? ? Because one hand can't stop their whole faces. ? 27. The unmarried woman is doing well except that others think she is not doing well. 28. Coach: See that man in front? Me: Yes. Coach: Hit him! Me: Why? ! I dare not! Coach: Don't dare you? Don't put on the brakes! 29. I was smoking in the street, and a beggar came to me to borrow a cigarette. I gave him one, and he looked at the sign and gave it back to me. 3. As soon as I entered the door, my father pointed at me and cursed: I haven't seen you for months. Where have you been? ? I said:? Dad, I've been admitted to college, so I finally came back for a few days during the Chinese New Year. ? 31. The crab bumped into a loach while walking, and the loach cursed. Are you blind? ? The crab said, No, I am a crab. ? 32. A meteor flashed across the sky, and I prayed with my hands folded. God, drop a bundle of money and hit me to death! ? Best friends also put their hands together:? God, drop a bundle of money and kill her! So no one can share it with me! ? I know I have a bad temper. If you can't bear it, you should reflect on yourself and why others can. 34. When I watched the palace drama with my girlfriend, I asked my girlfriend: Look, with my IQ, how many episodes can I live in the palace? The best friend said: Just your figure. Do you still want to enter the palace? 35. A customer came to the sales office to look at the house, which was very good, and then he found a Feng Shui master, but the Feng Shui master said it was not good, so the customer turned and left, and the Feng Shui master paid a deposit at that time! 36. When I was a child, I always thought that sesame seeds came from strawberries, but how black sesame seeds came from has puzzled me for many years. Now I have seen pitaya. 37. My wife got a fitness card and planned to lose weight. After a month of fitness, she said to me with joy. Look, look, my belt used to be buckled in the first hole, but today it can be buckled in the second hole. ? I looked at it and said:? Well, your hands are getting stronger. ? 38. Going shopping at noon doesn't feel very fresh. Boss: They just arrived this morning. They are all fresh. Me: Does this dish look faded? Boss: From this morning till now, it thought that nobody wanted it. Isn't that depressing? 39. I sent messages to the secret love goddess for several days, but she didn't reply. Today, she finally replied: TD. 4. My mother said to me the day before the exam. Relax and do well in the exam in the future. It doesn't matter if you don't do well in the exam. Your father and I are still young, and we have plenty of strength to beat you, and you can be reborn after killing you. ?