How to win back a wife who has given up hope? How to win back a wife who has given up completely.

I believe that every woman who enters marriage is aiming for a lifetime of happiness at the beginning, but as time goes by, she gradually loses confidence in marriage in the long process of triviality.

Mr. Zhang encountered such a marital crisis. On the tenth wedding anniversary, his wife calmly filed for divorce.

There is no quarrel, no conflict, only the silence of despair and despair about marriage.

In Mr. Zhang’s opinion, even if their marriage cannot be said to be very happy and perfect, and even though he has some shortcomings, it will not lead to divorce. He can’t figure out how to make it so smooth, and his wife said this The days can no longer go on.

In fact, women give up on marriage for the following reasons:

1. They cannot feel the love of their husbands.

Love is the spiritual pursuit that women need throughout their lives. Many men ignore this point after marriage, thinking that they are already married and old couples do not need to deal with all these bells and whistles and can live peacefully. That’s it.

A cousin of mine is hesitating in such a marriage.

At that time, she and her husband were also a loving and sweet couple, but the good times did not last long. Before they could get over the seven-year itch, she could no longer feel her husband's love.

She thinks her hair always blows on her face when sleeping and refuses to hug her.

Ask him to buy things for you and you will never forget it.

I don’t know that I have never received any gifts from him since then.

Daily communication is all about cold and talkative communication, without feeling any warmth.

My cousin once tried to change, but what she got was her husband’s impatience.

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Now, she said that she has given up hope, and the idea of ????divorce is getting stronger and stronger. Maybe one day a trigger will appear and she will divorce.

In fact, most women in marriage are not afraid of hardship or triviality. What they are afraid of is that this ordinary life can be seen at a glance without any expectation or joy.

If marriage is indeed the grave of love, why should women be willing to be buried here?

2. Suffering from cold violence in marriage

Visitor Xiaobai told her story:

We have been married for five years, and everything was as usual. My husband said Not much, but we get home on time every day, and we share housework and take care of the children. In this society where the divorce rate is rising day by day, I was secretly happy that I found the right person.

It wasn’t until he was sent by the company for a month-long business trip to the headquarters that I discovered that there was such a serious problem between us.

During that month, he didn't take the initiative to contact me. When I called him, he only said a few short words and was perfunctory. Oh my God, he is totally different from the one who used to be inquiring all day long before marriage.

It was at that time that I realized belatedly that in our daily lives, we had very little communication. It was just that we all communicated every day when we got home from get off work, so we didn’t feel it. Being left out.

According to statistics, nearly half of women have suffered from cold violence in marriage. Cold violence is very painful for women and is a severe psychological and mental torture. The husband’s indifference and indifference can lead to indifference to women. Asking, makes them have great self-doubt, just like many people jokingly "getting into a fake marriage" or "having a fake relationship". Behind the joke, there is a lot of sadness.

After being subjected to cold violence for a long time, a woman will feel that there is no difference between having this husband and not having a husband. In that case, why let him occupy the position of a husband in vain and not fulfill his due responsibilities? .

3. Lack of respect and understanding from husband.

After getting married, Ms. Jiang gave birth to twin sons. Due to her mother-in-law’s poor health, her mother has not yet retired. Ms. Jiang chose to sacrifice her career and return home to become a full-time mother.

At first, the husband was very grateful. He knew in his heart that his wife did a great job and her income was as good as his.

But over time, as my husband accumulated experience, his work gradually improved. Along with the increase in income, there is also an expanding heart.

Ms. Jiang clearly felt that her husband no longer spoke kindly to her, and often disliked her for spending money recklessly. In and out of words, she believed that her wife relied on herself to support herself and should be grateful.

Ms. Jiang, who had a strong self-esteem, could not stand her husband's behavior, so she enrolled her children in child care classes and returned to the workplace. Soon, her grades surpassed her husband's, and then she made a decisive choice Got divorced.

Each of us has our own personality and dignity. If, as a husband, he shows no consideration or respect to his wife, sooner or later his wife will become coldhearted and divorce will be a matter of time.

It can be seen from the above three cases that many men regard marriage as a task, as if they only need to marry a wife and have children to complete this major life event, and then they can live as they please, no longer considering their wives’ feelings, and not going to Address the gaps in your marriage. It wasn't until my wife gave up on filing for divorce and the marriage turned red that she realized the seriousness of the problem.

Unlike men who pursue a more down-to-earth life, women must long for warmth when they choose marriage, otherwise they will not find a reason to convince themselves to continue a marriage. When their husbands cannot meet their emotional needs and they have lost confidence in their marriage, they will naturally think of divorce.

To understand the reasons why women give up, let’s return to Mr. Zhang’s question.

So if my wife says she has given up on marriage, how can I get her back?

1. Understand why your wife gradually gives up.

In the early days of marriage, your wife must have been full of confidence and eager to build a happy family with you, but your words and deeds later made her more and more disappointed.

But many men don’t understand. They don’t understand what do women want? I don’t know where I went wrong. Why are women so pretentious and insist on messing around even though they have a good life?

At this time, I suggest you dig out your recent chat history, review it carefully, and think about it from others' perspective, so that you can discover the crux of the problem.

With this analysis, a woman’s mind is simple and clear, not that complicated at all.

So men, are women really that difficult to understand, or are you too lazy to pay more attention to them?

But in love, no one can be lazy. Your laziness today will definitely leave hidden dangers in the future.

If you have already understood your wife’s emotions at this time, you might as well start making changes now!

2. Acknowledge the other party’s contribution and accept the other party’s shortcomings.

You can start from the disputes that occurred in your daily life to affirm what the other person has done well, and also express acceptance of some of her shortcomings:

Stop by when I get off work today. I got some information from Xiao Zhang’s house. Oops, I have to complain about it. His house is really messy. This reminds me that it is only because of your daily cleaning that this home can be so clean and comfortable. I was still picky and kept saying that you don't like folding quilts. I figured it out. It's really not a big deal. It's just my fault. From now on, leave all the things you don't like to do to me.

Do you have enough money to spend recently? I remember always complaining that you spend money lavishly, but I also know in my heart that most of your money is spent on me and my children. You are reluctant to buy it for yourself, but you often buy it uncontrollably.

I also want to understand that our family is not so poor that we can't open the pot, but we also need to sacrifice ourselves to save money. Besides, I don't just spend my money on you. You can buy whatever you want in the future, and I won't interfere anymore.

No one is perfect, everyone has shortcomings. In a marriage, if the other party only looks at our shortcomings and ignores our efforts, it would be so suffocating that we would want to escape.

3. Implement into action.

It is said that "it is all talk and no practice", especially women in marriage, what matters more is real actions. No matter how we admit our mistakes and promise, we can finally make our wives come back completely. It must be our efforts to match our words and deeds.

From now on, put aside some unnecessary situations and go to comfort and accompany the woman who has been ignored by you.

For example, during the weekend break, you can rush to clean the house before her, and then ask her for help: Wife, come here and help me lift the coffee table. If your wife usually does the housework, she may criticize you for not doing a good enough job. At this time, we should humbly accept it and let her vent her negative emotions. Then interact with each other while completing housework, and find a way of getting along that is acceptable to both parties.

You can also put more thought into some important days, such as festivals and birthdays, to give the other person some long-lost romance and sense of ritual. It doesn’t have to be too fancy, but you must let the other person feel that you are paying attention. .

For example, you can inquire a little about the popular elements that a woman is currently pursuing, and buy her back quietly as a surprise, or peek into her shopping cart to help her pay for it, or you can order afternoon tea for her during working hours and add a sentence Thoughtful remarks.

Love that is reflected in the details is the most valuable.

At this point, as long as I can feel your intentions, I believe that women will no longer insist on divorce. However, even if the crisis is temporarily lifted, we must not take it lightly. Love is fluid and requires us to continuously inject new vitality in order to never dry up.

When the wife gives up and asks for divorce, it is actually more often a signal to seek a healthy marriage. If we understand her heart and make remedies, the marriage can survive. If we cannot understand and are unable to do anything, the other party may really give up completely and there will be no room for redemption.

Psychological test: Test your probability of getting back together after a breakup

After a breakup, have you ever thought about how likely it is that two people will get back together? This set of test questions will help you test the probability of getting back together after a breakup. Let’s try it together

Do you still have your ex’s contact information on your phone?

Yes 5 points

No, all deleted 0 points

What was the reason for your breakup?

Objective reasons, family does not agree 1 point

Long-distance relationship, no future 2 points

TA thinks I have a bad temper and our personalities are inappropriate 3 points

0 points for a third party intervening in our relationship

After we quarreled, no one was willing to bow down, and we broke up in anger 5 points

I think he has a bad temper Very bad, always complaining, and was dumped by him by 6 points

If you had to choose one of the following four statements that you agree with most, which one would you choose?

A person If you love another person, you should love everything about him or her, no matter the advantages or disadvantages. Otherwise, it cannot be called true love. At most, it is like 2 points.

Although feelings are between you and me, but it depends on the person and the other person. Love can also be controlled. As long as it can meet the psychological needs of the other party, love can be guided. 4 points

Forced melons are not sweet. If they don’t want to get back together, I respect their ideas. 1 point

The emotional world can never be equal. The person who wants to get back together must not be stingy with his own efforts

When expressing one thing, you value it more

2 points for the accuracy of your words

1 point for the strong impression you made on the other party

6 points for whether people around you feel comfortable with what you said

The ultimate goal that what you say can be achieved 4 points

What do you think are your basic emotional characteristics

Seriously emotional and often unable to control your temper 0 points

Strong self-control ability, calm on the surface, but emotional ups and downs inside, once bruised it is difficult to calm down 2 points

Everything is a cloud, naturally not easy to get angry, friends praise him for his good temper 6 points

Emotions are not sloppy and direct, but once unstable, they are easily agitated and angry. 3 points

Have you ever redeemed your ex?

I tried to redeem myself, but was rejected. I did not continue to try to redeem myself. 4 points.

No, I don’t know what the other person is thinking and I dare not speak. 2 points.

I have tried to recover several times, but the other party was very repulsive and blocked me. He did not want to see me again. 0 points

I tried to open my mouth, but the other party thought that we were not suitable and hoped that I would find happiness. 6 points

The full version of the test questions and answers can be obtained by private message

I am Jiajia, an emotional counselor, and I know more than you think. If you have any emotional confusion, you can send a private message or comment for consultation.