Humorous jokes for girlfriends.

Lead: Is your girlfriend angry? No matter how to coax. Try to make a joke, maybe just laugh it off! Below I collected and arranged humorous jokes for my girlfriend. I hope you like them.

1. A colleague's wife is pregnant and she is very happy. Everyone asked him to sing a song, but he thought about it and didn't know what to sing. At this moment, another colleague came in and heard that he was going to sing. He blurted out, "Sing the punishment of impulsiveness."

Part 1: I hurried to work in the morning and forgot to have breakfast. Part II: Buy food and go home for dinner in the afternoon! Horizontal criticism: the helplessness of office workers

3, work pressure, life is too boring, reduce stress, have fun, work time is in a good mood, and efficiency will follow. I wish you a smile at work, a happy mood and a bulging wallet.

Can we get a raise again? Begging in front of the Buddha for a few days, I am willing to exchange my life for a little money, hoping to touch my boss!

5. When watching horror movies, I always regret not turning on the light; When you bite an apple, you always regret not having a job; Friends, when you are happy, you are always satisfied with the feeling of money!

6, the boss can't, my salary is getting lower and lower, where is my salary, and I still pretend to be so calm! The boss can't do it. It's all my fault for making you angry and rushing off work, not my carelessness!

7. Tired from work, I queued up for promotion, said that I had a good meal, and my lover was not in place. I don't think about it in the morning, but I really want to sleep at night. Never mind, the most unbearable thing is to wish you happiness and recharge your batteries.

You are far from home, so you should study hard. If you say something, you will dig Harlan again. Wear clean clothes. Jump around when it's dirty. You are introverted and will be in a daze, just like a gray pine. What can you do to show off your team? What can you do? Very eye-catching, very reserved, very connected. Watching and eating makes people dirty! This is our northern Shaanxi dialect.

9. The master asked his apprentice: Is your family rich? Disciple: Not as rich as you? The master asked his apprentice again, how tall are you? Disciple: Not as tall as you. After a while, the master asked the apprentice, is your family rich? Disciple: Less than you. The master asked his apprentice again, how tall are you? Apprentice: Shorter than you. This time the host is satisfied.

10, if one day I die at my desk, I want to thank the real estate companies with thousands of slave owners, the tax bureau that squeezed me, and finally the boss who exploited me. Thank you very much for your lifelong entanglement!

1 1. The most painful thing in life is to work overtime! What is more painful than overtime is to work overtime every day! What is more painful than working overtime every day is working overtime for free every day! What is more painful than working overtime for free every day is that one person works overtime for free every day! Watching one person work overtime for free every day means watching others work overtime in pairs every day!

12, crazy about money, crazy about money, the salary is not enough to buy a double bed; Going to the hall and going to the kitchen, life is always busy; No car, no car, being a groom day and night; Get to know you and borrow some money, and your marriage and career will not be ambiguous.

13, a gentleman went to apply for an animal keeper. During the interview, the examiner asked, "You saw a dog and a man in front of the car. Did you run over the dog or the man?" Without thinking, the gentleman replied, "Of course, he ran over the dog." The examiner shook his head and said, "You are not suitable for this position." The gentleman is not convinced: "I don't run over dogs, do I run over people?" The examiner reprimanded loudly: "You should drive."

14, hard work, hard work, broken heart, worn mouth, and finally lost by the boss. Good after work, good after work, drink some wine, smoke a cigarette, and the daughter-in-law brought the footbath. Trouble at work, happiness in life, one day bitter, one day happy!

15, birds croak in the sky. Don't always be late for work. The morning sun shines everywhere. I wish you success in your work. It is breezy in the afternoon. Don't judge that you are tired. When the sun goes down, it is not difficult to get off work. It is not difficult to work overtime. Boss, can you show me a sunny day?

16, "I'm happy to go running after work, and I'm afraid I'll be late when I look at my watch. I just want to live, busy and tired. " Finally, the leader praised: "I really envy you for knowing me at such a young age." "

17. If you don't accept gifts this year, you will take a long vacation. Accompany your parents, your lover, you and me. What to send this year, what to receive this year. Whether you understand it or not, I get it anyway.

One day, a salesman received a phone call from a customer. At the end of the call, the salesperson usually asks, "What's your name?" Answer: "My last name is Dad (dead). What's your name? " The salesman replied angrily, "My last name is Ye."

19, being late for work, the boss is the last person you want to see! Working and sleeping, the boss is the most terrible person! Working overtime continuously, the boss is the most hateful person! The boss is the most cursed person when the bonus is deducted! On holidays, the boss is the easiest person to forget! Therefore, the boss always keeps a straight face!

20. I finally went to work after graduation, and the result was Foxconn; I finally participated in the training, and the result was that Sam did it; I finally learned to be an official in the dispute, and as a result, I was wrangled by the leaders among the officials. Friend, work is not easy, be careful in the workplace!

2 1, I didn't see Chang 'e flying, that's because Shenma is also a beauty; I didn't see the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, because I can't stand the hurt of beautiful vows; I didn't see you, holding hands, hehe, is it because I haven't shot yet?

22. The sky is gray and wild. Busy with work every day, I am in a state of anxiety, and I am even more disappointed at night. Apart from the company, I am just a bed and my heart is cold. Always thinking about the year-end award, the wind is surging, and the moon is in the sky. My buddy must be better than me.

23, overtime is the most, the work is the most tiring, the lowest salary, the least bonus, the best performance, the best popularity, work hard all day long, by the end of the month, all the money, work portrayal, comparison, how many items you account for, and work hard for tomorrow.

24, whether you do it or not, the work is there, no increase or decrease; Whether you like it or not, the boss is there and can't live without it; Whether you like it or not, the salary is there, no more or less. Like it or not, the workplace is there. It is better to be happy and relaxed every day!

25, boss, boss! I work hard, not lazy. I worked hard for you to eat and drink. I just want to get paid without cheating, or have a conscience to add a meal.

26. I won't drink at dinner, nor will I in the future; Drink nine taels, the future is infinite; Drink only drinks and go to the cold palace; Pour it as soon as you drink it, and adjust it in the morning and evening; Lead the whole process and lead the future. I wish you a smooth and prosperous career!

27. Secretary's love letter: In order to further accelerate the pace of our love work and set off a new climax of love life in an all-round way. I seriously sum up the past, deeply reflect on the existing problems, actively change the concept of courtship, and strive to become a first-class courtship unit in the coming year.

28, as steady as Mount Tai, sitting like a clock, holding the direction of Wan Li Road, driving safely in Qianchuan. Why do you work hard? My little sister is the most lovesick! Wait until the money is around your waist and I see your smiling face.

29. You can have a romantic girlfriend in the garden. I am waiting to work overtime alone. You are reunited with your parents' home. I was on business that day. You and your children are warm at the dinner table. My boss and I are here for a raise. I really want to be warm with you. I will wish you more money next month.

30. New employees are often bullied. Xiao Li was sent by the section chief to find the director. Seeing that the new arrival Xiao Zhang was idle, he said to Xiao Zhang, "Comrade Xiao Zhang, please find the director to the section chief's office." Xiao Zhang thought Xiao Li wanted him to go to the section chief's office to find the director, so he went into the section chief's office and saw a man. He said, "Director, Xiao Li is looking for you!"

3 1, fill in the icon on a sunny day, work overtime on a good day, spend a good month looking forward to getting paid, travel on a sunny day, no holiday and no salary increase. Who are you happy for when you are busy? Actually, I can only set an example for you. I hope you can be stronger than me.

32. Beauty in the office loves to show off. One day, she praised her skin in front of many people: "You see, my skin is like a shelled egg." Another employee was silent for a while, especially saying, "It's tea eggs."

The grandson of the office found a briefcase in the corridor. He found the money and returned the contents to the owner, a foreign employee. The foreigner was very moved and wrote a thank-you letter and posted it on the bulletin board. As a result, every employee who passed the publicity column couldn't help laughing. The title of the original thank-you note was: Look what Sun Xiao did!

34, work hard, work tired, work will know to sleep! Chatting one day, my colleague said that I didn't sleep that day. I sighed: Hey, I sleepwalked again.

35. A man rushed into the manager's office. He wants to ask why he owes him a month's salary. The manager was surprised to see him and said, "Why are you still working here?"

36. One day, the boss asked Zhang Bin and Wu Shan to write an article. The next day, the boss asked, "Xiao Bin, did you bring the article?" Zhang Bin said, "Oh, I forgot to bring it." The boss said, "Did you bring the hill?" At this time, the boss's secretary quietly said to the boss, "mistress can't bring it."

37. A colleague squeezed the subway to work every day, and it was so crowded. Another colleague suggested it. Tell him to have a cactus in his hand, and no one will dare to go near it. I did it at the same time, and the cactus turned into a cactus.

38. There are three women and one man in the publicity department of an enterprise. One day at a regular meeting, we discussed whether to post a no smoking sign in the office. Everyone argued for a long time, when the only male colleague stood up and said, "Anyway, the office is full of lesbians, so there is no need to post these useless things." A burst of laughter broke out in the office!

39. At the meeting, the boss said: I hope everyone will work hard, concentrate on overtime, be happy when coming to the company, and don't lose heart when doing things. Colleagues should unite and don't care about wages. The employees are whispering, and I'm afraid we can only feel sad.

40. The boss called the sick Xiao Li to express his condolences: "Are you better? How did you get sick? " Xiao Li replied: "Because the business (company) is on fire." "ah! How is it cooked? I just left the company! " The boss asked in a panic.

4 1, last night's star, last night's wind, working overtime last night was crazy. They are all west of the studio and east of Guixiangtang. There is no one who doesn't look at the clock. Although my body doesn't have bright wings like a phoenix, it's a pity that work is not easy. However, I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn, and wait until the end of the month to pay dividends!

42. Water your temper at work with beer, drive away the fatigue in your heart with coffee, clean up the depression at work with green tea, warm your negative body with warm soup, and work! Ask for comfort, I hope you have a happy job and everything goes well.

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