A 95-year-old man was carried to the hospital bed to watch a play: Why do more Chinese elderly people become more humble as they live longer?

A 95-year-old man was lying in a hospital bed and wanted to watch a movie, but his body did not allow it.

In order to fulfill his father's wish, his children specially moved their old father's hospital bed to the stage, just so that he could watch a play in his twilight years.

I don’t know why, but I was very moved when I saw this video. I think of my grandpa.

In my memory, my grandfather has been staying in a dark small room, looking at the only light source in the room - "a TV set that is making a sound" all day long.

Sometimes, a disc even has to be played over and over again, because once the TV stops, the room becomes eerily silent.

Such parents are like well-behaved children, a bit scary and humble.

In my hometown, there are many rural elderly people.

They spent the first half of their lives trying their best for the future of their children. When the children finally grew up, their bodies also collapsed, requiring high medical expenses and patient and long-term treatment.

The children threw their parents into the hospital and nursing home, and looked at the long bill to comfort themselves: I have fulfilled my filial piety.

Cry again when your parents say goodbye.

As everyone knows, true care for parents is not to use money to make up for guilt, but to know how to feel sorry for them in normal times and keep in mind the things they say casually.

And this happens to be the most difficult thing.

There is a very classic movie called "Tokyo Story", which tells the story of an elderly Japanese couple who went to Tokyo to visit their children.

Because their children were busy at work, they stayed in the small attic for a whole week instead of traveling.

What is even more uncomfortable is that even though we are a family, we still have to use polite words such as "Hello", "Thank you", "Yes" and so on.

Underneath the polite smile is alienated emotion and indifference.

When the elderly found out that their children were not living as well as they imagined, they did not speak out directly and chose to digest it themselves.

Parents are accustomed to suppressing their sorrows in their hearts, thereby maintaining the once strong image in their children's minds.

But they will grow old one day and have to rely on their children one day.

There is a question on Zhihu: How do you think that the biggest sorrow for parents is that they become cautious in front of their children as they grow older?

The answer from the blogger "Xunchenke" is heartbreaking and heart-wrenching Reality:

It is not so much sad as it is a "displacement of power relations."

When parents are young, they are in charge of economic power and have the final say. But when they grow old, they can no longer help their children and lose their status in their children's hearts.

Indeed, the older I grow, the more I realize that my parents are becoming more and more “useless”.

They are no longer omnipotent supermen, people who can solve your problems for you. It’s the elderly who can’t read QR codes, the illiterate who can’t use smartphones, and the losers of the era who don’t even know how to register for medical treatment.

So they start to be afraid of causing trouble to you, the people closest to you. They know that you are busy at work and would rather overcome the difficulties by yourself.

A friend of mine once told this story:

One night, his mother suddenly called him and briefly asked about his daily life. When hanging up, he said hesitantly——

Have you been busy recently? Your dad misses you a little.

My friend thought it was just a casual greeting, so he excused it with work.

After returning home half a month later, I learned from my neighbor that my father accidentally slipped and fell while climbing the stairs and broke his leg.

The family was full of elderly people, and the hospital was worried and wanted his family members to take care of him. However, his parents learned that he was busy and decided to handle the matter themselves.

When he said this, his friend cried. He said that he should have thought of it earlier because his parents were afraid of disturbing him and never took the initiative to call him.

But he did not pursue the question at that time.

My friend also said something:

When he was in junior high school, he once went to the guard room to call his mother because of something.

The mother did not receive the call in time, but quickly contacted the teacher:

I received an unknown phone call and asked if it was from the school security office. Is there something wrong with the child?

Parents and children , the love between each other is so unfair.

When you were young, he could notice every little thing about you and be your safe haven, but when you become an adult, you don’t have much time to take care of them.

Our lives are so broad, so why have we ever thought that they live silently in the shadows behind us?

"2019-2025 China Elderly Health Service Industry Market Panoramic Survey and "Investment Direction Research Report" shows:

In 2016, there were more than 100 million empty-nest elderly people in my country and more than 20 million elderly people living alone.

According to estimates, the number of people will reach 120 million and 30 million in 2020.

Behind the numbers is the epitome of the bitterness of each old man.

The documentary "The Lone Nest" tells this story:

The old man Hu Jiulian will be 81 years old after the Chinese New Year.

She has two sons. The eldest son bought a house in Guangzhou and now lives across from her. The old man couldn't wash the quilt, but the eldest daughter-in-law said, "Let it go."

The younger son has not been home for three or four years. He opened a hotel in another place and asked the old man to stay there.

But the old man said:

"I won't go even if you ask me to go. I don't know how to use gas or turn on the water. I'm not used to it."

In order not to To drag down their children, many parents adopt more cruel and stubborn methods.

The article "Suicide among Rural Elders: Finding No Place in the Family" published by the non-fiction platform True Story Project contains such a detail:

The wife of an elderly rural man passed away. Finally, the two sons decided to take turns taking care of their father every two months.

Once the old man thought that the time was up, so he carried a bedroll from his younger son's home to his older son's home.

When he walked to the door of his eldest son’s house, he unexpectedly asked him: Dad, why are you here today? It turns out that there are thirty-one days in that month, and there is still one day left before I leave for my eldest son’s home.

After hearing this, the old man returned to his home without looking back. The next day, he was found hanging from a beam in his old house.

According to media reports, the suicide rate among Chinese elderly is 4-5 times the world average. Due to empty nests, illness and other reasons, in some remote areas, some elderly people choose to commit suicide due to the plight of being homeless or unwilling to burden their children.

Seeing these data, my heart is like a knife. The children who have been raised through all kinds of hardships finally float away like kites.

If you don’t even care about your own children, who else will care about them?

I still remember seeing a piece of news some time ago:

An old man living alone in Anhui fell down on the balcony of his home for four days. He knocked on a pot to attract the attention of his neighbors and was rescued.

When the firefighters broke in, they found that the food on the table was moldy and infested with maggots.

The old man was naked and lying on the balcony. He had not eaten or drank for four days. It is reported that the elderly family members have not visited the elderly for nearly 20 days.

Maybe it is because of the busy work, but I really want to say this to the children of the elderly:

Your father is old, and it is time to repay him. Don't wait until tragedy occurs to understand pain and regret.

In Japan, many elderly people die alone without relatives or friends to take care of them before they die, which is called lonely death.

In a report, a 91-year-old woman in Japan, in order to avoid being discovered after her death, asked her friends who lived upstairs to help her check whether her window was open every day.

If there is, it means she is still alive.

It should be noted that according to relevant research, China's demographic structure is undergoing changes that are very similar to Japan's.

If we continue to adopt a neglectful and indifferent attitude towards our elderly parents, how do we know that news like this will not happen to them?

I still remember a story I read when I was a child. Public Service Announcement:

The English word for home is family.

When I was a child, my father was the backbone of the family. The tall and burly father protected the family from wind and rain;

The gentle and virtuous mother supported her husband and raised her children;

When I grew up, I As I gradually understood the hardships of life, I realized that my father’s back had become hunched;

My mother’s body had also become bloated;

As a child, I have to protect my family from wind and rain. Be a crutch for your father and a protective umbrella for your mother.

Home should be synonymous with love and responsibility. It is the responsibility of each of us to feel sorry for our parents.

I have read such a story:

A social worker works 996 a day, and is so busy that he is dizzy in order to get a promotion and a raise.

One day when I came back from working overtime, I suddenly thought that today was the leader’s birthday, so I quickly sent a message to wish the leader a happy birthday!

When he woke up the next day, his mobile phone displayed a message from his father:

Son, thank you for remembering my birthday. I didn’t get through to you. You must be very busy at work, right?

It turns out that yesterday was not only the leader’s birthday, but also my father’s. Because of his confusion, he sent the text message of blessing that should have been sent to his boss to his father, and because of work, he ignored the call from his father.

At that moment, shame filled his heart.

My parents are getting old, but we are growing up. As we move towards a larger world, our parents' world is gradually collapsing and shrinking, and only us are left in the end.

A simple greeting and a timely phone call can help them a lot.

Don’t fall in love too late, click and watch, it’s time to feel sorry for them.