After my mother died, none of my grandmother's relatives came. Do I still need to associate with them?

I know your problem. My mother died in a car accident on 20 15. On the day of the accident, all my grandmother's relatives were on the scene. Because mom and dad had an accident together, dad is light and can talk. In the general ICU, my mother had a serious brain injury and had a craniotomy as soon as she entered the hospital. Uncle and aunt were there at that time. At that time, my parents needed a lot of surgery fees, and we were both raising money everywhere. My uncles and aunts kept silent, just kept asking us to treat with the best medicine, so as not to delay the treatment, but as children, we didn't want to treat our mother with the best medicine and the best hospital. The situation in our family is that there is only one father and one aunt left on my father's side. My aunt is ill and takes medicine every day. Family conditions are average, and my grandmother's relatives are relatively well-off. At that time, no one was willing to lend us money. In my uncle's words, I'm worried that we can't pay back the money after my mother died. I couldn't help borrowing money from my credit card to make up for my mother's surgery. Eventually, because my mother was seriously injured, my mother left us two days later. After watching her die, my grandmother's relatives also left at once, saying that all their people had left and we didn't care about anything. My brother and I were both young and didn't know anything. We all ask people to help us with makeup and shroud. At that time, if a relative helped us and our wife, we could handle it well. The reality is that our relatives are left unattended and hiding outside the hospital. In the end, we spent nearly 1 ten thousand yuan.

In a blink of an eye, it was the day when my mother was buried. Because we are a rural area with many customs, we were young and didn't know anything at that time. Relatives introduced us to a big fairy, saying that her mother didn't die of natural causes and needed her to cross over. She helped us with some funeral and other folk customs, and also helped us a lot. Finally, she charged us 10 thousand yuan. Relatives are afraid that her mother will protect them and affect their wealth, so they dare not make moves. We are not rich, and these expenses could have been avoided. My uncle is even more extravagant. He said to my father, "You two were riding motorcycles, and my sister died. My sister died for you. You should spend more money. " We can understand the feelings of a brother who lost his sister, but as children, our hearts are the same. After all, it was a car accident, and we couldn't avoid it. It is wrong for them to say so.

When the coffin came out the next day, relatives were needed to help carry it. Our custom here is that when carrying a coffin, you can't put it down halfway. Until we got on the bus, there were quite a few relatives at first. When we heard that we were going to carry the coffin, our uncles and aunts waved their children not to help. At that time, my brother and I really didn't think of it, because we were going out of the coffin and needed to come out as soon as possible. Finally, the old people in our village said that we would contribute together. We are getting old. We can't leave the children unattended. There are dozens of grandfathers in their 70s who finally let their mothers rest in peace. Through this incident, I basically stopped contacting my grandmother's relatives. I think they have gone too far. They agreed that their mother died and their people left, so they broke off contact with us. In a blink of an eye, several years have passed, and I don't want to deal with this matter anymore. Let time handle it.

Mom died, and no one in my uncle's family attended the funeral, which showed that my uncle's family had decided to break up the marriage. According to the custom of Henan Neixiang, my uncle's family should carry incense baskets. From the funeral to the burial, the host asked the opinions of his uncle's family in great detail. If my sister or elder sister dies, and my brothers, sons and nephews don't attend the funeral, it can only show that they don't have this girl in their eyes, or even look down on my sister or younger sister. So mothers and uncles also need multiple analysis.

My mother died, and my wife and daughter are coming home from the city with painkillers. When I got home, my uncle not only arranged the guests, but also prepared to change clothes for my mother's family. As soon as we got home, my uncle comforted my wife and me and thanked my mother for being ill in hospital. We took good care of her and made great contributions. My wife and I were asked to wash quickly, and the old man was told to take care of the children. Then we called the harem and several aunts at home to get ready, and helped my brother and daughter-in-law change clothes for my mother, including how to wear them, but my uncle discussed with the guests and family leaders. Like my colleagues and father-in-law, my uncle greeted me personally and had to discuss something with my father-in-law. In November of the lunar calendar, it was freezing, and my uncle's family had an asthma attack. Especially on the night when my mother was buried, it was too cold after eleven o'clock. How many people advised him not to attend the funeral and let his cousin carry the incense basket for him? He made it himself. Make an appointment for the Japanese yen grave, and thank you the next day. My uncle and aunt gave me a lot of comfort and encouragement, so I paid more respect to my uncle and aunt.

Having said that, I want to say a truth, or there is no reasonable person in the uncle's family, and even my girl is not seen for the last time, which can be described as rude. As a niece, you must do what you should do, such as paying a New Year call and visiting when you are sick. As for the later generations, it's okay to follow the fate, go with the feelings, and talk nonsense.

This shows that everyone in your grandmother's family has a problem, because my grandparents are like this.

There are four sisters in my family, my youngest two sisters and a brother. My grandparents and two uncles, including two aunts, collectively hate me, dislike me and even hate me. When I was a child, I once suspected that I was not born by my parents, but I picked up the child, but I was born by my parents. People are very kind to my brothers and sisters.

I haven't been to their house since I was eight years old. As far as I can remember, I have never stayed at my grandmother's house. Also when I was eight years old, I wouldn't stay at home on the seventh day of every year, because they would come to my house that day. In case people feel uncomfortable looking at me, respond to me.

I study in the middle school where my uncle teaches, and my great uncle also teaches there. He is the dean. When my uncle saw me, he called his son over. Have you had a meal Do you have money with you? When he saw me in the canteen, he told his boss that all his meals were charged to my account, and everything he ate was charged to my account. I greeted my uncle several times on campus, but people simply ignored me. I was called twice by him, and both times I shouted my full name. My classmates think that I made a mistake and should be cleaned up by the dean.

If my uncle goes to my aunt's house, he will let me live in his office (bedroom and office are integrated). My uncle came twice and scolded me twice, the first time; What are you doing living here? Didn't the school arrange a dormitory for you? The second time; Why do you live here again? I cried and cried. Having breakfast in the canteen the next morning, my uncle saw that my eyes were red and swollen and asked me what was wrong, so I said it. My uncle flew into a rage and left his job to go to his office. Say, the child is your sister's son, your nephew, my nephew, you can hate him, why should you scold him? What does it matter to you that he lives in my office? Hide the child in the room and cry. Your eyes are crying like giant pandas. Do you lack liver and lungs? Or what? I almost hit him. After that moment, all the teachers and students knew that the dean was my own uncle. When their offices were still next to each other, the headmaster transferred my uncle's office to one side and the next year.

What surprised me most was the logistics director of the school, because he grew up with my mother and lived next door to my grandparents. He knows all my brothers and sisters, but he doesn't know me In his words, he has never seen this child in my grandparents' house.

When my uncle came home, he told my grandfather and his third grandfather that my grandfather was too angry to eat and his third grandfather was ill. My uncle, my father, my second uncle, my brother-in-law, my uncle, my third uncle, my cousin, almost came to the door collectively and was stopped by my grandfather.

I 18 had something to do in our city. I need 3000 yuan. I had the cheek to run to my little brother's grain and oil store with fruit. As soon as I opened my mouth, my aunt said, get out of here. If I have no money, I won't lend it to you. From then on, my heart was completely cold, and I once again felt that I shouldn't go because I was redundant. I was also very helpless. I stopped a taxi at the door of his shop for 70 yuan and drove to my sister-in-law's house 40 kilometers away. Knocking at the door at night, my sister-in-law directly took me 4000 yuan and paid me the taxi fare. My sister-in-law also asked me if I could get me some more. I gave it to the driver 10 yuan and drove me back the same way.

When I got home, I told my mother about it. My mother shook her head and said why I didn't call home. My dad can call his friends in the city, or I can just go home and get money and borrow some money from others.

I didn't attend the wedding of my brother and two sisters because they both attended the wedding. I have never been to my second sister's house during the Spring Festival because they went to my house on the same day. My sister married in Shenzhen, and my brother also settled in Shenzhen.

In June this year, my grandmother was critically ill and was admitted to hospital for emergency treatment. My sister is full, let me go back from Beijing to have a look. My mother is too embarrassed to call me, and my father won't call me at all. The answer that the elder sister got on the phone was that I wouldn't go back, so I complained to my parents and asked my parents and my brother and sister to go back together. Because my grandmother's house is the best for her, that's great.

My grandmother died without me. After having me, my father will take me to my uncle's house every three days, because the third day is my uncle's birthday. On the third anniversary of my uncle and aunt's death, we all went.

My uncle and aunt have been dead for more than ten years. My father and my cousins have been visiting each other and greeting each other during the Spring Festival. If we have anything to do with each other, we will be here, and if we can, we will help.

So some things really vary from person to person and from family to family.

They don't have to come to your house, but you have to go to your grandmother's house, because for you, they are all elders, and that is mom's hometown. Communicating with my mother's family is a respect and memory for my mother. You need to know your role! [flashing]

Go your own way, that is, if people dare to do so, they will resolutely sever their kinship. Every ceremony has its own rules, and guests can follow their own rules or ignore them.

I think I can answer this question, because I have a deep understanding.

200 1 year, I 10 years old, my sister is 7 years old, my brother is 5 years old, and my mother died for family reasons. When he died, my grandfather and uncles came to see him and questioned my mother's death. They came back the same day. By the time I became a mage, none of my grandpa's relatives had come. This indifference and gossip of my neighbors left a deep imprint on my heart. Looking back now, I still feel how heartless and helpless I am. In those years, I hated my mother's death, I didn't understand some family contradictions between my father and my mother, and I still had some opinions about my father in my heart. With the passage of time, the dislike of mom and dad gradually eased and understood. My uncle's family never came to our house again. When we were young, our grandmother's conditions were still relatively good, and then they gradually disappeared. It also makes me more compassionate. I feel that my attachment to my mother has shifted to my parents. Over the past 20 years, my sisters have occasionally visited my grandparents and watched their parents' increasingly rickety bodies, declining ears and eyesight, and aging faces. It is not easy to feel them. I can understand their sadness and anger, and their selfishness.

Now that our brother and sister are married, my childhood experiences and hardships have given me the wealth to struggle and work hard on the road of life. Although I am a single-parent family, I am honest, positive and helpful. Twenty years have passed, and now I am 30 years old. I have my own family and a stable job, and my living conditions are relatively improved. Every time I go back to my hometown, I will still visit my parents to make up for my attachment to my mother. My mother's descendants are heartless, and I can't be heartless. Nature is more about letting go of doubts and hatred and facing a new life and life. This may be my last feeling for my grandmother's family!

This experience is similar to mine. When I was just born a few months ago, my parents quarreled and my mother took poison to commit suicide. My mother's family thought my father forced my mother to die, and we broke up from then on. I only remember when I was a child, my sister and I went to see my grandparents on vacation, although we also cooked food for us, which means my father was good or bad. We also know that my father is bad, but he is good to us and he himself has been punished. His mother's suicide hit him hard. As soon as he was dizzy (epileptic) and angry, he suddenly fell flat, and he fell ill and died in his forties. I was 19 years old. Grandparents died without informing my sister and me. I married my sister and invited them to come, but they never informed me and my sister about their family. Later, the relationship was completely broken. It doesn't really matter. One generation represents two generations, and three generations stay behind. A porter (home) with only a thousand years has no relatives for a thousand years. Now I'm old, too. I've seen too much of the world, and I'm indifferent to things. Parents are here, home is here, live well.

If I were you, I would visit my uncle when I have time. After all, I am my mother's brother and sister. Even if my mother is gone, everyone will be unhappy, but any misunderstanding will fade away except time. I believe your mother doesn't want you and her brothers and sisters to become strangers. Without your mother, you represent my mother and my uncle's family. In fact, my family is just like you, and my second sister died of illness. My brothers all thought my brother-in-law and son were short-lived and killed my sister. My brother told his brother-in-law and his son not to come after his sister's funeral. I remember the first time after my sister died, my brother-in-law took his son and daughter-in-law with him. My brother was so rude that he threw away all the gifts his brother-in-law bought and didn't turn them in. Later, as time passed, my brother accepted my brother-in-law's family. Now that everyone is the same, it's boring to be angry again. People are old, and it's no fun to let bygones be bygones.

There is no need to refuse to associate with them.

1. You told her family, brothers and sisters about her mother's death. You did it. They have the right to know and the right to choose whether to come or not.

2. Mom passed away. There's no need to hold a grudge against them for this. After all, mother and they are blood relatives, and they are mother's family. Don't leave the grievances of the previous generation to the hearts of the next generation, and then bear these worthless and meaningless emotional burdens.

You should reflect on why they didn't come. If the older generation didn't come because they were not feeling well, why didn't people your age come! I remember my grandfather once told me: "Don't always blame others. Blame yourself for not doing well enough and not being good enough. " This sentence is for you, I hope it can warm your heart and hope you have a good life.

If your mother's parents are still alive, I suggest you have time to see the old man. Face this society with a grateful heart, your heart will be happier and your life will be better and better.

Let me talk about your problem first. First, the doctor said there was no need to treat your mother's cancer, so did you ask your grandmother and uncle for advice before you decided to take it home? Second, even if you died at home, did you find someone to do something? Did you ask your grandmother and uncle for advice? If there are none, but your family makes their own decision, don't say they won't come, or they will come to smash your house. Do you know why? As the old saying goes, a mother's uncle is big. In many places, it is forbidden for the woman's family to wear a shroud to cover the coffin before coming, just to let the family know whether her daughter's death is a natural death in front of her family. Now, I estimate that nine times out of ten, your family didn't do the etiquette and rules well. Of course, if you have a lot of contradictions between the two sides before this, it doesn't matter, just relatives.