How to chat and get closer to girls on WeChat

What is the secret to chatting with women? Why are some men always able to laugh and chat with women, while some men can't arouse their interest, or even don't even know what to say?

Yes, many men do need to strengthen their "speaking" part. According to observation, although some people's congenital conditions are not optimal, through superb verbal skills, they are better able to capture women's hearts. I’m sure you’ve witnessed something similar happen.

The French philosopher Voltaire once said: "Give me ten minutes, and I can convince any woman with this mouth alone." Of course, we cannot determine how much bragging is involved in this sentence, but we It can be boldly speculated that a man’s mouth seems to have endless potential.

The question is, what are the qualities of a man who can talk? Does he know astronomy from above and geography from below? Is it sweet talk, abduction and coaxing? Are you pretending to be crazy and acting stupid, and just go the funny route? Or simply be the "most loyal listener" and provide comfort and encouragement anytime and anywhere?

Three basic abilities that a master conversationalist must have: listening, asking questions, and telling stories

First of all, you must learn the ability to "listen". Women hate men who talk endlessly, inflate their egos, interrupt others, and only talk about themselves from beginning to end. Because in the eyes of women, this is at best a sign of insecurity, or they are thinking: "What on earth do you want to prove?"

Women in the new era are very smart. They see too much and hear too much. Most of them know what you say and what discounts should be made. It reflects what kind of person you are. After all, many women have already developed their own set of rules to evaluate the authenticity of men.

Successful communication is a two-way street. Especially when a woman is willing to speak, you'd better open your ears and listen carefully. Just because a woman is willing to talk to you doesn't necessarily mean she likes you, but at least you have given her initial "trust." When the attraction between a man and a woman is built on a platform of trust, the relationship is considered stable.

Of course, one of the main purposes of listening is to gather information. You can learn directly from a woman's mouth: what she desires, what she hates, what she cares about, as well as her attitude and values ??towards things. How to do it? The key is to use open-ended questions to get the woman talking.

For example, sometimes you will suddenly become serious: "What do you think is the biggest challenge for you at work?" or "What do you think is the most important thing about a relationship?" or "I want to Know your views on life. What do you think people should pursue in life?

This is the so-called "questioning" ability. You see, successful hosts are masters of asking questions. I know that the above questions seem serious at first glance, but if you can deal with them in an appropriate atmosphere, you will definitely have unexpected results.

In addition to collecting information, asking questions is also a key skill in creating and continuing topics. Many men are worried that they have nothing to talk about. The solution is to use keen observation and use "questions" to guide the direction of the conversation.

For example, if you see a girl carrying a cute bag, you can naturally point to it and ask, "Where did you buy it?" When she replies, she bought it at an online auction. With trophies, you can get into the theme of "Internet", from the fun of auctions to online romance, there are endless topics to talk about.

Having said that, I think the topic of conversation is secondary. The real key lies in the "atmosphere". Most of the time, I don't deliberately limit the topic, because the atmosphere I hope to create is very simple, that is, to make girls feel comfortable and non-oppressive chatting with me.

But women want more than just an atmosphere, they also want to meet a man who can stimulate their thoughts.

In other words, if you can express your unique opinions on the matter in a timely manner, or point out the subtleties that have not been noticed, and describe it with a plot similar to "telling a story", you will make her feel excited like never before.

Interviews are topics that can promote intimate relationships:

1. What kind of work do you do? (Why do you like this job? What are the biggest challenges? What are the biggest setbacks? What are your hopes for work and the future?)

2. What achievements have you made in your life so far? (Are there any major setbacks?)

3. What do you love most? (Why are you interested?)

4. What was the most impressive happy event last year? (Or something unfortunate?)

5. What do you do at work?

6. How do you like to spend your vacation?

7. Do you want to become famous? (Why)

8. If you had one million, how would you use it?

9. How was your upbringing in your family from childhood to adulthood?

10. What personal strengths did you have while growing up? (Are there any shortcomings of fear?)

11. What kind of relationship do you want to develop?

12. Are you romantic? (How to be romantic?)

13. What do you think are the differences between men and women?

14. What makes you happy?

15. What makes you sad?

16. When you were a child, what did you hope to do when you grew up?

17. What do you think is different from others?

18. Do you believe in gods? (What are your views on gods?)

19. To what extent do you think your personal actions have an impact on changing society?

20. What do you think are the important events in society right now? (If possible, what actions would you take?)

Some of the above topics may seem overly personal, especially for a first date, but remember, few people don’t Caring about yourself, everyone is happy to discuss their own problems as long as they don't question each other rigidly like checking household registration.

And there are three topics that can be used in any situation: food, family, and philosophy.

Perhaps it is a Chinese custom that the protagonist of the first date should be the man, while the woman is more reserved. The man should take the initiative to ask some questions to stir up conversation. Both sides should avoid long periods of silence. The topic of the date should preferably be one that creates a pleasant atmosphere. The content of the conversation should be popular and broad, and the questions should be short so that the other person is willing to answer and able to answer. You can talk about work, study, hobbies, and trivial matters in life. Don't embarrass the other person because they don't know, let alone ask questions that make it difficult for the other person to talk. If the other person is silent and unresponsive, you should quickly change the topic.

Both men and women can consciously introduce themselves, including their family members, personal hobbies, specialties, etc., but avoid bragging. Don't let it spoil the first date. Don't use dirty words, otherwise it will be seen as disrespectful, uncivilized, and impolite to the other party.

When dating, you must be happy, in a happy mood and state of mind. Because dating is not a class, there is no need to preach or inspire personality, so the topic must be light-hearted.

If she likes to talk, don't interrupt her. Might as well just be a loyal listener. At the same time, you should not talk about academic topics yourself.

When dating, it is best to take the topic from things that often happen around you, such as TV programs, newspaper social pages, etc., or music-related topics, and use cute pets around you like cats, Dogs, tropical fish, pigeons, birds, etc., because talking about some relaxed and interesting topics can bring you two strangers closer together.

The first step: Focus on the pursuit of career and look for the "sparkling point" of the topic

Career is the foundation for a person to settle down and live. Any young person who is diligent in his career and pursues life without slacking off will become very cheerful once he talks about work and life with others.

So grab some of his "sparkling points" in this area to explore the topic, and you will definitely have a lively conversation.

Su Xin is a career-minded girl, but she is introverted and not sociable. Therefore, she is already in her twenties, and she still "lives alone without a husband." One day, a colleague introduced her to a policeman named Li Ming. When we met for the first time, the introducer said a few words in a routine manner and then left. The two of them remained silent and found themselves in an awkward situation.

When Su Xin saw something fishy about this scene, she quickly became wise and said casually, "Not to mention that your job as a police officer is difficult, and you are always in danger of your life. Your family and relatives are also affected. Ordinary people It's really hard to accept." After hearing this, Liming became anxious and immediately took over Suxin's words, explaining the greatness and pride of her profession in terms of career and ambition, life and pursuit, dedication and demands.

The two-hour date passed unknowingly as they chatted and laughed. Finally, Su Xin gave an affectionate smile to Li Ming. During the "critical moment" of her first date with Li Ming, Su Xin clung to the bright spot of the other person's love for her job to find a topic. It seemed "accidental", but in fact she deliberately raised the proposition "Which is more important, family or career" to him? Let's examine his pursuit of career and life. It not only effectively solved the problem of having nothing to say when meeting for the first time, but also achieved the purpose of enhancing mutual understanding and communicating ideas.

Second move: Focus on hobbies and look for the "hot spots" of the topic

Everyone has their own hobbies, even a taciturn person, as long as he talks with you He will also be eloquent when people talk about his hobbies. However, what should you do when you meet him for the first time and you don’t know what his hobbies are? It doesn't matter, you might as well talk about your own interests and hobbies first, and then seek out the hot spots in each other's interests and hobbies, so as to increase understanding and deepen feelings.

Ah Yue met Ah Tong through the marriage notice in the newspaper. Both of them felt uncomfortable when they met for the first time. They briefly talked about the wind, rain, sun and moon for a while, as if they were reciting lines, and then they ran out of words. After a moment of silence, Ah Yue had an idea and proactively suggested: "How about we go to karaoke?" "Karaoke?" Ah Tong asked hesitantly. "Yes, sitting in the booth, savoring the fragrance of tea and coffee, while listening to passionate or affectionate music, the worries and sorrows of life, the tension and fatigue of work will all disappear like a wisp of smoke in the wind. You will be relaxed, comfortable and happy." Ah Yue paused and stared at Ah Tong affectionately, "Are you right?" "Although I don't like singing and dancing, I listened to your insightful remarks. Discussing, I feel the inspiration and power of music in life.

No wonder readers criticize my works for lacking passion. "You mean, do you like reading and writing?" With writing, culture and art, they are a 'family'." When A-Yue and A-Tong couldn't continue their conversation, smart A-Yue found an opportunity to introduce her interests and hobbies to A-Tong first, so as to test him out. of interests and hobbies. When her interests and hobbies conflicted with those of A-Tong, she once again cleverly expanded their interests to a broad field, thus finding the calling point of "a family".

Third move: Focus on the environment and atmosphere and find the "focus" of the topic

The environment and atmosphere are a topic that is dynamic, random and rich in connotation. It is not just a play on the occasion, but it reflects a person's level and taste in terms of thoughts, moral character, wisdom, and behavior by capturing this kind of topic.

It can be said that as long as a person who is good at observing things, analyzing problems, and handling conflicts focuses on the environment and atmosphere when looking for topics, there will be an inexhaustible supply of topics.

In Jiangsu and Zhejiang areas, it is customary for the man to go to the woman’s home for a blind date. On this day, Yi Qun left his family to have a date with Chunhui alone at home.

Chunhui walked into the house and commented casually about her home. However, Yiqun was a typical conservative and introverted girl. When Chunhui finished speaking, she did not continue the conversation.

The conversation reached a deadlock, and the only sound in the room was the chirping sound of "Huan Zhu Ge Ge" on the TV. Both of them looked at the screen quietly, and no one said anything. At this time, Yi Qun was anxious. However, she really lacked the courage to face Chunhui head-on, so she faced the TV and muttered to herself: "Now that there are more TV channels, there is a lack of exciting programs. You can watch this "Huan Zhu Ge Ge" , the whole plot is slapstick, without any taste, and without much practical significance. ""That's right, look at that little swallow..."

The lost topic suddenly aroused Chunhui's conversation. . "What do you think of Ertai's sole responsibility for robbing the prison to save Xiao Yanzi and Ziwei?" "I admire Ertai very much for his uprightness and courage. There are too few such friends nowadays..."

Yi Qun When there were obstacles when talking to Chunhui for the first time, she used local materials and focused the topic on the TV program that was being broadcast, making it sound natural, casual, and relaxed. At the same time, she was good at using topics to find what she needed to know. On the surface, it is to listen to Chunhui's evaluation of Ertai's behavior, but in fact, it is to examine Chunhui's own principles and level of behavior.

The fourth tip: Focus on social life and look for the "exciting point" of the topic.

Social life is all-encompassing, and you always have some of your deepest experiences and things you most want to say in your life. , the people and things you hate or like the most, what you care about the most or hope for the most. Then, when your conversation with your friends gets "stuck", just pick one of the "points" that you are most excited about and talk about it. .

According to the introducer's arrangement, Xiaoqing walked into the park holding a magazine in her hand and met another boy, Ayi, who was holding a magazine. After the two of them registered for their respective homes like a recruitment examination, they wandered along the lakeside of the park in silence.

Xiaoqing felt that since the two of them were on a blind date, they should talk to each other to improve their understanding of each other. What's the point of not talking? She frowned, thinking about it. "What magazine are you holding in your hand? Can you read it?" "I just bought "Chinese Cosmetics". This magazine is quite good and tasteful." Ayi gave a brief introduction while handing the magazine to Xiao clear. "Wow, I don't see, you are quite knowledgeable about beauty and fashion." "Don't praise me like that. I'm just a hobby.

Think about it, in the past, beauty and makeup were just women's fashion. "Now that people's living standards have improved and their pursuits have changed, why can't men live a more glamorous life?" They revolved around fashion, from makeup to fashion, from acting "cool" to darkness, until the two broke up. , have long resembled a pair of lovers who have been in love for a long time.

The clever thing about Xiaoqing is that she thinks that a book will always lead to many book-related topics. Even if Ayi is just showing off with the book and is not interested in the book or a certain topic, he must be interested in the many social life topics raised by the book, so their first conversation was very successful. , tacit understanding.