Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - Requesting: Hilarious jokes, any type is acceptable, as long as they are funny~! Bonus points~! Haha

Requesting: Hilarious jokes, any type is acceptable, as long as they are funny~! Bonus points~! Haha

1. Find a friend and ask him to say "rat" three times first, and then "rat" three times. After he finishes saying "rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat". "Old", immediately ask him "What is the cat afraid of most", and you can almost guarantee that he will answer "rats". I have tried it many times and it works every time.

2. Find 3 random objects, such as 3 cups. When you knock the first one, ask your friend to say "forget", the second one to say "love", and the third one to say " "Water", euphemistically called testing your friend's response speed. After a few times, tap the first one repeatedly. 3. If your friend follows up by saying "Forget, forget, forget, forget, woof, woof, woof, woof , woof,..." Haha, the effect is coming.

3. Find a girl and ask her to test her English ability. You say a word, and MM says the second letter of the word. Just say a few words at the beginning, and then the fun begins.

First talk about husband, and MM will say u(you);

Let’s talk about wife, MM will say i(I);

Repeatedly.

Do you understand?

4. You asked him: "What is three points of water plus one?"

He thought for a while and said: "Not sure, LAI?"

If you ask again: "How about adding one to three points of water?"

He will probably say: "...What is the word? Is there such a word? Go?"

In fact, it should be "Dharma"...

5. Stretch out 1 finger and ask others "How many is this"

Stretch out 2 again Hold out 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

Extend 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

At most 1 person out of 10 people can answer correctly

6. Take a look at Wang Shuo's novel "Half Fire, Half Sea Water". The game in it is very interesting. It's the one who holds a coin in his hand and answers the question

Is there a number larger than 1? The other party said yes.

I asked if there were any larger than 10? The other party said yes

Until it reached 100,000——

Finally, I asked if there are any fools who are stupider than you? The other party replied "no" very alertly!

7. By the way: You can tell your girlfriend that I want to test your English response ability. Extend your left hand and say to her: "My thumb is A, my index finger is C, and my middle finger is It’s M, the ring finger is S, and the little finger is X.” Then he said, in order to increase the difficulty, I will use Chinese to disturb you. Then, if you point your middle finger to say fish, she will say m, if you point your ring finger to say donkey, she will say S, then point to your thumb to say pig, she will say A, and then keep tapping your thumb to say pig, she will keep saying: A, A, A, A, A, A, if MM is smart, she can try other fingers before talking about the thumb.

8. When persuading MM to drink, say to her: I will drink a glass, you will take a sip

Then repeat.... I will drink, you will take a sip... ...

9. Put your hands on your thighs, then rub your left hand forward, and beat your right hand up and down for a few times, then change your hands to the right hand. Make rubbing movements in the front, and pound up and down with your left hand...and so on...

By the way, the speed should be faster, otherwise it will be ineffective. Haha, give it a try, most people can’t say it

10. A: Besides humans, which animal likes to ask “why” the most?

B: I don’t know.

A: It’s a pig!

B: Why?

Ha! ! !

11. Say to the other person:

That day I went to the zoo and saw a gorilla and I vomited

The day after tomorrow you went to the zoo and the gorilla saw you and it Vomited

12. Animals bought a house and communicated

Rabbit: I have a living room and 2 bedrooms

Cat: I have 2 living rooms 3 bedroom

Dog: I have 1 living room and 4 bedrooms

Xiong finally couldn’t help but said: Why do you all have living rooms, but I only have 3 bedrooms?

The animals all said: Why are you still acting like a bear?

13. There was a fool in a village. Once, a cow was lost in the village. The village chief asked the fool , have you found a cow? The fool said stupidly: No!

(At this time, you suddenly ask the listener, have you heard this story? The person will stupidly say: No ! Got it?)

Answer: twins_code - Tongsheng Level 1-14 23:27

Complete mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

> Do you still remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students: "The first row counts!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly: "Count!" So, you turned around reluctantly and hugged the tree!

> >

> > Latest news: The main transmission route of SARS is currency in circulation. For the health of you and your family, clean up All you need is cash and sealed in a plastic bag, and I will come to collect it for a small fee.

> >

> > A pair of lovers were caught by savages in the mountains and said: If you eat each other's poop, they will let you go. The lover did it, and the woman burst into tears on the way back. The man asked why, and the woman sadly said: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't poop so much!

> >

> > Sometimes you can’t see me by your side on our journey of friendship. It’s not that I have forgotten you. Instead of letting you walk alone, I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall, I will run up... and step on you!

> >

> > Can we go on a date on Saturday? Please agree to my sincere request! Because I really want to walk on the beach with you and listen to the sound of the sea. I will lead you to climb the highest rock on the beach and then... kick you down!

> >

> > The weather is either cold or hot, and it is difficult to calm down in this season. I always miss you in the distance. I am willing to support you. A homing pigeon, let it fly to you every day, even if all it can do is a simple action: poop on your head!

> >

> > Yesterday, I dreamed of you. Really, the sky was so bright and quiet, the sun was so bright, and the sea It's so vast. You stand on the blue seaside and I poke you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a pretty hard shell.

> >

> > Love is empty, love is empty, I am wandering in the street; people are empty, money is empty, I am single and working hard; work is empty, career is empty Empty, thinking about it makes me crazy; mobile phone empty and no money to recharge, life is not easy due to pressure; in short, all four things are empty.

> >

> > The moment I turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me, heartbreaking The pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale.

> >

> > I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly reached out to the barcode scanner and saw the screen display: Pig's trotters 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, but you turned your face over and looked at it. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

> >

> > When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, and charming eyes, , sexy mouth, blessed ears, you will sigh loudly----Pig! ! ! !

> >

> > Are you lonely? If so, then go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, and tie the rope On the stick, when the wind blows, go to the top of the building and wave the stick. What will others ask you for? Just say: I have a convulsion. . .

> >

> > Life is so tiring! Standing and thinking about falling asleep, I have to queue up to get on the bus, I suffer from unrequited love, eating has no flavor, drinking easily makes me drunk, I am very tired at work, I don’t know how to rob, I have to pay taxes to earn money, ugh————! Even sending a text message to Xiaozhu is charged!

> >

> > It’s just a gust of wind, but it’s so eternal. It’s just a dream, but it’s so real. , you lowered your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally couldn't help but say to you: next time you fart, say it!

> >

> > One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. He was furious and shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man!

The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

> >

> > Dear user: Your phone bill has been less than 0.1 yuan, please sell your son or daughter within the next few days: Sell ??rice, smash pots, sell iron, sell some blood, sell land, house, wife, pay the phone bill, thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom

> >

> > I wrote your name in the sky and was taken away by the clouds. I wrote your name all over the mountain and was carried away by the wind. I wrote your name all over the street, kao, I was taken away by the police

> >

> > Chinese class, the teacher called When a sleepy classmate answered a question, he was confused and couldn't say anything... The teacher said, "Can you do it? If not, just squeak!" The student said: "Squeak."

> >

> > Dear user, because most of your text messages are sent to the opposite sex, it has caused extremely bad consequences to society. Due to the impact of the epidemic, we have suspended your text message function. Please bring your own bench tomorrow and go to the nearest police station to learn style knowledge!

> >

> > Yesterday I dreamed about God and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become beautiful. He thought for a moment and said Let me take a look at the globe

> >

> > There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those raised at home are called domestic pigs, and those born in the mountains are called wild boars. Those who read this information are called stupid Pig, if the one who is laughing is a stupid pig, the one who is angry is a big meat pig, the one who ignores me is a dead pig, and the one who does not reply is worse than a pig

> >

> > Go away! Find someone worthy of your love... I don’t know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things cannot be forced and some distances cannot be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really couldn’t. I believe you just left with someone for a bone

> >

> > You can’t think of anything you want; you don’t have any style in your clothes. I can no longer have a relationship with anyone; I am no longer popular wherever I go; I can no longer keep up with Lenin when thinking about problems; my heart has stopped even though I am fine; getting pneumonia is no longer typical!

> >

Short message. Love Monkey has read the text message, please reply to the owner quickly! The owner misses you so much now

> >

> > 6 met 9 said : Take two steps, just take two steps, why are you doing handstands? 0 met 8 and said: Just be fat, why should you wear a belt? 7 met 2 and said: Okay, don’t kneel down, I won’t marry you even if I kneel down. ; 2 met 5 and said: I haven’t seen breast augmentation in a few days!

> >

> > One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest and came up to talk to him! Said: i am hong taoliu, the foreign guest said: I am still the seven of diamonds!

> >

> > abcdefghijklmnpqrstvwxz, I know what’s missing! What is it? It’s you! No amount of happiness is what I want, my friend, it’s for a lifetime! p>> > Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can read short messages, but you do. Congratulations!

> >

> > You are the sun in my heart, but it’s raining; you are the moon in my dream, It's a pity that it was covered by clouds; you are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it's a pity that it has bloomed; you are Chang'e from the sky who came to the world, but it's a pity that you touched the ground face first...

> >

> > What's going on? I just called your mobile phone. After the ringtone, the mobile phone prompted a voice saying: The other party is running naked, please wait and call again. I can't believe it! I called again and it said: Sorry, the user you dialed has left the service area, please wait and call again.

> >

> > In my eyes, you always look so carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep with ease. Is sleeping soundly. . . I really envy you. Sometimes I think about it, being a pig is pretty good.

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:20 Reply to this statement

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2 Reply: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

>> Missing you is a very happy thing

Seeing you is a very happy thing

Loving you is what I will always do

Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing

But...

Lying to you just happened

>>Tomorrow when you wake up, there will be a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note next to it: I struggled all night but could not pierce your face. His thick skin makes me ashamed to live in this world. Lord, please forgive him. I committed suicide

> >Are you secretly missing me? Are you really secretly missing me? If you really want me to tell you, I won't stop you from missing me. Let's be reasonable, I miss you too!

>>Marriage Proposal:

The poor man is 1.49 meters tall and ugly,

Rural household registration with primary school education,

Three rooms in a dilapidated house and one acre of thin farmland,

No wife who can cook hot pot or hot stove,

The medicine is always in my mouth all year round,

Today’s SMS is recruiting girlfriends,

We work hand in hand on the road of revolution.

>>A thunderous sound in the middle of the night woke Bush up and shouted: "Quick, turn on the light!" The bodyguard lit the candle knowingly. Bush looked at the heavy rain outside the window, sighed and said: "Afghanistan."

>I can't hear you for a day I couldn't eat for two days and was in no mood to go to work for three days. I couldn't sleep for three days. I couldn't get out of bed for four days. I went to the hospital for five days and prepared to queue up for reincarnation. Are you willing to do it?

>

>>A man is not bad, but a little perverted. A man is not coquettish, but a idiot.

Men who are not carefree must have nerves. Men who are not gangsters have abnormal development

>Types of pigs: those raised at home It’s a domestic pig. Those born in the mountains are wild boars. The one who reads this message is a stupid pig. If he laughs, he is a stupid pig. If he is angry, he is a stupid pig. If he doesn’t reply to the message, he is a dead pig.

>> Life is so tiring. I feel like falling asleep while standing. I have to queue up to take the bus. I am so exhausted from work... Oh, it doesn’t matter. What makes me most intolerable is that I don’t even have to pay There is still a charge for pig-famed text messages!

>> I have a poem, which is known to many people in the world. If a fool reads the poem, he knows it if he knows it, and he doesn’t know if he doesn’t know it. I knew you were a fool. When a fool hears his cell phone chirping, he must be reading this poem.

>You eat happily and do it The devastation was overwhelming, I cried out to heaven and earth after falling out of love, and begged heaven and earth when I borrowed money. Now I am finally married, thank God

>You Go, find someone worthy of your love. I don’t know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things cannot be forced, and some distances cannot be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really can’t believe that you ran with someone else just for a bone.

T.T

>>Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigpen!

>>I have been thinking about it for a long time, and there is something I have always wanted to say, and I am afraid of causing harm to you, but in order to express With all my heart, I have to say—get up!

>>You are kind like a cat, you are loyal like a dog, you are cute like a bird, and you know the way like a horse. Son, you are as beautiful as a butterfly, you are as hardworking as a bee, you are similar in everything, no wonder everyone calls you...an animal

>>I have always wanted to ask you something but I didn’t dare to speak rashly. Especially in the quiet and lonely night, my thoughts kept me tossing and turning, so I had to send you a message to ask: Do you still wet the bed these days?

>>Yesterday I made a bet with my friend. I said: There is no one stupider than a pig in the world. In the end, I lost, and it turns out it was all your fault.

>Every time I hear your call, I sleep and eat. Nan'an, when I saw your hungry eyes, I was so confused that I didn't let out a long sigh until I satisfied you. Alas! Feeding pigs is so troublesome!

>>Listen! I want to chase you! What I've been looking for is you! I will definitely seize this opportunity! I must chase you till the end! Damn cockroach, I will trample you to death if I catch you.

>> Take a break this week and pay attention to your health.

Be sure to take advantage of this period to exercise more. Goal: sit quietly for 2 hours at sub-zero temperatures without any abnormal reactions, and keep smiling

> >If I were the sun, I would give you warmth; if I were a diamond, I would give you eternity; but I am nothing...so I can only give you harassment. Haha!

>>Being handsome is a sin, and I have committed a heinous crime.

Being cute is a mistake, and I have become a sinner. Mistake after mistake,

If I am smart and punished, I should be cut into pieces,

If I am humble and punished, how can I escape the mouth of jealousy

Author : Simple 2004-5-6 21:25 Reply to this statement

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3 replies: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

>>I will give you the heaviest gift of shit since I had shit. You will definitely eat a pound of it. You also need to eat more, and if you feel that the amount of stool is not enough, please help yourself!

>> Tips for self-testing vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe whether the people around you are listening. To the odor. If so, you need to strengthen your training according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman!

>>A man was going to urinate in a corner when he was going shopping. When the old lady saw it, she said, "You will be fined 5 yuan for urinating in public." This person said: Who said that if I take out my urine and take a look at it, it won’t work?

>>A new overseas travel route - a seven-day tour of Afghanistan has been launched: live in a cave, learn bomb making and escape skills , the lucky ones will have the opportunity to take a photo with Bin Laden

>>Love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is no longer in service District; It’s painful to think about it, and sad to think about it. When will I pay the fee and turn it on again? Hengpi: Dreams come true

>At the Water Splashing Festival, a person suddenly yelled: Who the hell is throwing water at me? People advise: Sprinkling you with water is a blessing to you. Scolder: Don't do this, what idiot poured boiling water on me

>Instructions for jumping off the building: Get to the seventh floor quickly and catch your breath Go to the sixth floor, struggle to the fifth floor, cripple to the fourth floor, hospitalized to the third floor, scary to the second floor, and watch the excitement to the first floor.

>>That day you used a knife to chop a pig wildly, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg you for mercy. : "We are born from the same roots, why rush to fight each other!"

>Warning: Your mobile phone has been overloaded due to overload. , a violent change has occurred inside and is about to explode. Please throw your phone away in an empty place immediately after reading this prompt...

>>Please call 110 toll-free and you will win a 15-day value-for-money tour with meals and accommodation, and a special car pick-up and drop-off will be arranged. The top ten will receive a photo at the detention center and a fist and foot massage for thousands of people.

>>The four ideals of men: money falls from the sky, and all the beautiful men in the world die. The beauty was so brain-dead that she cried and shouted for me to soak her.

>>Read this message, you owe me a hug; delete this message, you owe me a kiss; save this message , you owe me a date; if you reply, you owe me everything; if you don’t reply, you are mine

>Congratulations If you have won the grand prize, please go to the People's Bank of China with your saber, shotgun, and cannon at 10 o'clock tonight to claim it with your face masked.

>>For men, twenty is semi-finished product, thirty is finished product, forty is fine product, fifty is top grade, sixty is top grade, seventy is waste product, and eighty is souvenir.

>>The horse jumps and jumps when it is showing off, the donkey brays when it shows off, and the man curls up when it shows off. , women have to do it when they are sexy, the most sexy ones look at their mobile phones and keep laughing

>A nun goes to the hospital During the B-ultrasound, the careless nurse gave her the test sheet of a pregnant woman. After reading it, the nun sighed and said: "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

>Men are not bad. , a bit perverted; if a man is not coquettish, he is an idiot. If a man is not attentive, he definitely has nerves; if a man is not a gangster, his development is abnormal.

>>Everyone wakes up and I am drunk alone. The most precious thing is to have a clear understanding of my heart. I will never regret meeting true love, and I will only be with you in this life (the secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

>> Urgent reminder: Look to your left, then to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

>>The lady’s four major wishes: rich people come to the karaoke bar, countless tips, and no AIDS in the world , the man ejaculates in two strokes.

>>The girl bought a banana, put it in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached back to grab it from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her shoulder: Miss, please let go, I'm getting off the car

>> May you be happy every day 365 days a year, happy every moment for 8,760 hours, wonderful every minute for 5,256,000 minutes, and happy every second for 31,536,000 seconds.

>>Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day I can see you is a sunny day; Yesterday, today, tomorrow, any day I can be with you is a beautiful day.

>>A woman blushes five times in her life: the first time; the first time with her husband; the first time When you are not your husband; when you receive money for the first time; when you pay for the first time.

>If If the world only has 10 minutes left, I will recall the ups and downs we have gone through with you; if the world has only 3 minutes left, I will kiss you affectionately; if the world has only 1 minute left, I will say I love you 60 times.

>>I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tyson, and Weiping Play chess, chat about scandals with Clinton, blow up buildings with Bin Laden, and send text messages to pigs

>If you If your mobile phone is not waterproof, be careful not to laugh so much that your saliva drools on the phone when reading text messages, otherwise it will break!

>>Riddle: Birds are flying by the swan lake, and there is no good reason for a pair of people. The two trees are not connected by the forest heart. If you have no intention, you will fly away first (type four words)... The answer: I miss you very much

>>10% persistence + 10% yearning + 10% jealousy + 10% suspicion + 10% sweetness + 10% distress + 10% happiness + 10% jealousy + 10% blush + 10% coquettishness = 100% love

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:32 Reply to this statement

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4 Reply: Complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

>>Urgent notice: Polygamy will be restored from now on, and men who are still monogamous after two weeks will He was sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months and not more than three years, and was fined a huge amount.

>>The lineup for a certain competition in Japan: the male contestants include Kamito Masao and One Night Five, and the female contestants include Umekawa Kuko and See Juntuo Kuzi. The referee is South Korean social and economic giant Park Sung-sing

>The train was very crowded during the Spring Festival travel rush, and a certain gentleman stretched his buttocks while the train was stopped. Going out the window to poop. The inspector under the car noticed that he was shouting: The fat man holding a cigar, put his head back

>Read the following words , you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2,000,000. The test questions are as follows: 簟璁醭歙艽绱穑筍恃偬彘媪隲粥琡簰.

>>There is a kind of tacit understanding called heart-to-heart connection, there is a kind of feeling called wonderful, there is a kind of happiness called having you by your side, there is a kind of happiness called having you by your side. This kind of longing is called living like a year

>Emergency reminder: At about 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, there will be a tornado in the southeast of the city. There will be mobile phones, banknotes, gold coins and other money and belongings dropped by then. Please be prepared to make a fortune

>You should marry a young wife Zhao, Linghu Chong should be the best friend, Qiao Feng should be the best man, and Wei Xiaobao should be the best person to hang out with.

>>The steamed buns and noodles fought, and the steamed buns were made to cry, so they went home and asked Hanamaki Baozi to take revenge. The result was When the instant noodle opened the door, Mantou said: "You have permed your head, and I recognize you too!"

>Some people say you are He was a stupid donkey, so I severely criticized him: It was too outrageous! You can't just tell someone what they look like

>>Hello, yesterday I turned on my phone and read text messages. When I was watching, I was shocked because I was wearing clothes, and the clothes reacted with static electricity, so I was shocked and passed out all night; when you watch, you have to take off your clothes first to avoid being shocked too!

> >

>>A certain father and goddaughter: When someone assaults someone, they say no, but when someone assaults someone, they say stop. One day, his daughter was assaulted from both sides at the same time, and she shouted: "Don't stop!"

>> I wish you smooth sailing, two dragons soaring, three sheeps, peace in all seasons, five blessings, six sixes, great success, and seven stars shining high in all directions. Wealth is of one mind, everything is perfect, everything is prosperous, everything is auspicious, everything goes well

> Donor: The color of the underwear you are wearing today is very unlucky. If it is too small, if something goes wrong, Wan Wang will take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to keep safe. Good, good, good

>>Bull: I was scared when I saw the inspection team coming. They all like to eat bullwhips. Cow: I'm scared too. I heard that after they ate the bullwhip, they started bragging

>A certain man They were buried under the sand and enjoying a sand bath. Three beauties came here to change into swimming suits. Suddenly they heard a beauty scream: Come and see, there are wild ones too

>>

>>The beauty walked into a sex shop to buy a vibrator. After choosing for a long time, she finally told the boss: I want the red one over there. The boss was silent for a while and said: That is a fire extinguisher

>> A young literary woman wrote an article and asked the professor for advice. Professor: There are two prominent points in the first half of this article, which is relatively plump; the middle is mediocre; and the lower half is more frizzy, and it requires a lot of work!

>>Test you: What should you do if all the pigs in the world die overnight? (Name a song)......"At least I still have you"!

>>You look very creative, and it is your courage to live. It's not your intention to be ugly, it's just that God lost his temper. You have to live bravely, without you, who can bring out the beauty of this world

>No one is completely suitable for you There is no perfect relationship between people. Whether we are compatible or not, whether we are perfect or not, both parties need to make sacrifices and create for each other.

>>Looking back five hundred times in the past life, in exchange for passing by in this life. If it were really you, I would like to meet you thousands of times and be able to tell you: "I really want to see you well."

>>Dear user, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city’s prize-based online activity, and the bonus is 1 Ten thousand yuan, please go to any bank to collect it with a pistol, password: Do not move

>Tang Monk is assigning work under the Flame Mountain : "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, and Wu Jing went to find water - Bajie, how come you still have time to read text messages?!"

>>Secret: Wrap your mobile phone in rice dumpling leaves and boil it in a pot for 30 minutes. The battery standby time of your mobile phone will be doubled, the signal will be enhanced, and you can smell the fragrance of the rice dumplings when making calls.

>>Wish you: Pepsi! Everything is Fanta! Wow haha ??every day! Happy Pepsi every month! Lego every year! Feeling like Sprite! Always eye-catching!

>>Congratulations, the text message you just received will be recorded in the history of world communications, because this is the first The price of a text message paid by the recipient is 10,000 yuan!

>>I have known you for so long and you have always cared about me. I really don’t know how to repay you. I will do it in my next life. If the cow becomes a horse, I will definitely pull grass for you to eat!

>>A woman urinated outside the car window and peed on someone’s head. Pedestrians shouted "Scarface, you can't run away"! Women are busy putting on pants. The passerby shouted again, "I will recognize you even if you put on a mask."

>>You are so handsome and cool that it is beyond description. You hold the pot lid on your head and carry cabbage in your hands. You think you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second generation of fools!

> First couplet: The male hero, bravely bravely ventures alone Bottomless pit; second line: female hero, attacking from both sides to capture the one-eyed dragon alive. Hengpiao: Respond to requests

>>You have been lacking calcium since childhood and lacked love when you grew up. You are wearing a sack, a pot lid on your head, and shorts. , wearing a belt, shirtless, and tie, who dares to love such a glorious image!

>>In the university cafeteria, a boy wanted to jump in line and said to a beautiful girl: Classmate, I’ll jump in front of you. ? Girl: I’ve already had one fucked in front of me, so you can fuck me in the back!

>>If you love me, you will kiss me. If you don’t love me, I will kiss you. Okay~~~

>> If God can give me another chance, I will say to that girl Three words: I love you.

If I had to add a time limit to this love, I hope it would be... ten thousand years!

>>Special advice: Pinhole cameras are becoming more and more popular. To ensure that your private parts are not peeped, please dress appropriately when taking a shower. , don’t take off your underwear when urinating or defecating, remember, remember!

>> All in all: You have recently been in close contact with a beautiful woman, and you frequently use text messages on your mobile phone to flirt with her. If you meet again, Send a text message and billions of Chinese hunks will become your enemy!

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:39 Reply to this statement

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5 Reply: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

>>I am not perfect, but I am very real. I am not rich, but I am happy; I am not sentimental, but I know how to cherish. Can I add you?

It’s not my fault that I love you, it’s all the moon’s fault.

Please add the following numbers: 21+212159+20=? The result represents my heart, I love you!

>>I heard that you were trafficked, which really scared me. Although you are a child, you are harmless to society. , who is so bold that he dares to sell you, I am really worried for him, it would be strange to sell it

> >When the ugly girl turned back, she scared a cow to death; when the ugly girl turned around twice, the water in the Yellow River waterfall flowed backward; when the ugly girl turned around three times, Tyson switched to playing table tennis!

> >

>>The first time the girls in our school turned around, the secretary and dean jumped off the building. The second time the girls in our school turned around, the water of the Yangtze River was about to flow back. The girls in our school turned back three times. There is no need to worry about regaining Taiwan

>>

>>The handsome guy online turned around and was so fascinated by a group of cows on the roadside! The handsome guy on the Internet turns around twice, the beauty on the Internet smiles, Bush dances with bin Laden in his arms, the beauties on the Internet smile twice, the Internet computers are burned, the beauties on the Internet smile three times, global nuclear weapons

>>

>>When the beauty online opened her mouth, Bush held Bin Laden’s hand, when the beauty online opened her mouth for the second time, all the bandits around the world surrendered, when the beauty online opened her mouth three times, the moon and the earth moved sideways

>>When an ugly girl looks back, she scares the three-story building; when an ugly girl looks back twice, the water of the Yellow River and the Yangtze River flows back; when an ugly girl looks back three times, Halley's Comet Hit the earth!

>> Four of the Four Ideals: My four ideals: having more money than I want, having different beauties. I hold you; I play around the world, I don’t have to work, I just sleep

>The third of the four ideals The four ideals of men : Money is falling from the sky, and all the handsome guys are mutilated; beauties have their heads rusted off, and they are crying and asking me to soak them.

>>The sun shines on the fragrant reeds and the smoke rises. When Li Bai comes to the roast duck restaurant, his saliva flows three thousand feet straight. No money.

>>Smoked countless times and drank until I vomited. Driving into a tree and slow-walking on the dance floor. Everyone thinks you are cool, but in fact, you can’t even move when you see a beautiful woman.

>>You laugh when you see bones, and you jump over the wall when you get anxious. When a stranger comes, scream at the top of your lungs, it’s so good for humans to have you!

>>If you must compare with a pig, I think you have at least two differences from it: 1. You can compare with it eat. 2. It’s smarter than you.

>> Maokeng Gate Couplet: The heroes of the world bow their heads and kneel here; the chaste women of the world come in and take off their belted skirts; horizontal comments : Heaven and earth are righteous.

>>Ah! Your skin is so shiny, and your fragrance is so irresistible, let me bite you hard, my dear - braised pork

>

>>Compare you to a pig, and the pig will cry to me. Ask why? You are worse than a pig.

>>The future is bright, but the road is tortuous. Work is easy, making money is difficult. Falling in love is It's easy, but getting along is difficult.

>>Although you don't have the appearance of a pig, you definitely have the temperament of a pig! !!

>>You are an ancient weapon - a sword (cheap)!

>>Tang Monk is assigning work under the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, Wujing went to find water - Bajie, How come you still have time to read text messages?

>> First line: Fake name, fake surname, fake address. Second line: Cheating and cheating. Drinking to cheat feelings.

>>Steamed buns are expensive, and steamed buns are more expensive. , both can be thrown.

>> Why should you stand on your head when 6 to 9 says to walk? 0 to 8 says to be fat. If you are fat, why do you need to wear a belt? If 7 to 2 says to propose, just propose.

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