A selection of funny text messages for couples

1, the male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."

2. Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He used the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You kill pigs. Where are you going to push me?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain's announcement. "Welcome to our flight. Many of our flight attendants are the most capable, dedicated and beautiful in the civil aviation industry. But I'm sorry, they are not on this flight today. "

The Tang Priest met a banshee in the west, and observed her breasts and buttocks, so he wanted to have sex. When the banshee saw it, she exclaimed, Elder! My little girl is afraid of having sex when she menstruates! Hearing this, the Tang Priest folded his hands: Amitabha, I'm here to learn from the scriptures!

Joe is shy by nature. One day when dating his girlfriend, he asked shyly, I dreamed of proposing to you last night. I don't know what this means. Girlfriend Helpless: This shows that you are much smarter when you sleep than when you are awake!

6, dating MM, MM asked sweetly, go ahead, what are you thinking? I looked at MM with bedroom eyes and said, just like you thought-MM stood up after hearing this, slapped me in the face, and scolded me, smelly rascal, dirty!

7. A Dai and Lily are dating in the park. Lily suddenly asked, A Dai, what are you thinking? A Dai: Nothing! I think the same as you! Lili slapped A Dai and scolded him, you pervert.

8. A couple agreed to date downstairs in the dormitory. The girl threw a coin out of the window as agreed, but nothing happened for a long time. The girl couldn't understand the name of her boyfriend, only heard a voice from downstairs: Wait, the coin hasn't been found yet!

9. I went to the place where my boyfriend and I first dated: I noticed another couple hiding in the bushes making out. So I called my boyfriend and told him that someone had discovered our secret dating place. Then I heard the voice of my boyfriend's cell phone coming from that bush.

10, we all know the beautiful legend of Qixi, we all know the vivid love story, we all know what this day symbolizes, and I happen to have time that day. Why don't we go for a walk, have tea and coffee?

1 1, first love date, boyfriend's enthusiasm for his girlfriend: [Sprite? Crystal clear, cool. ""How about yogurt? The taste of first love. " It is best to use Wahaha pure water. Loving you equals loving yourself. "Girlfriend: [I want a beer, two bottles first.

12, Tanabata is here. GG asks MM: What flowers do you like? MM said shyly, I like two kinds of flowers. GG asked eagerly: Which two kinds? I'll give it to you! MM lowered her head and whispered: If you have money, spend it casually! GG said foolishly, you are so beautiful! MM asked charmingly: Where am I beautiful? GG said affectionately: Nice try!

13, a couple agreed to date downstairs in the dormitory. The girl threw a coin out of the window as agreed, but nothing happened for a long time. The girl couldn't understand the name of her boyfriend, only heard a voice from downstairs: Wait, the coin hasn't been found yet!

14, first love date, boyfriend is enthusiastic about his girlfriend: "Sprite? Jingjing is bright and cool. " "Or yogurt? The taste of first love. " "It is best to have Wahaha pure water. To love you is to love yourself. " Girlfriend: "I want beer, two bottles first."

A Dai and Lily are dating in the park. Lily suddenly asked, A Dai, what are you thinking? A Dai: Nothing! I think the same as you! "pa!" Lily slapped A Dai and scolded him, you pervert.

Joe is shy by nature. One day when dating his girlfriend, he asked shyly, I dreamed of proposing to you last night. I don't know what this means. Girlfriend Helpless: This shows that you are much smarter when you sleep than when you are awake!

17, I went to the place where my boyfriend and I first dated: I noticed another couple hiding in the bushes making out. So I called my boyfriend and told him that someone had discovered our secret dating place. Then I heard the voice of my boyfriend's cell phone coming from that bush.

18, dating MM, MM asked sweetly, go ahead, what are you thinking? I looked at MM with bedroom eyes and said, just like you thought ... MM stood up after hearing it, slapped me in the face, and called me a rogue and dirty!

19, Tanabata is here. GG asks MM: What flowers do you like? MM said shyly, I like two kinds of flowers. GG asked eagerly: Which two kinds? I'll give it to you! MM lowered her head and whispered: If you have money, spend it casually! GG said foolishly, you are so beautiful! MM asked charmingly: Where am I beautiful? GG said affectionately: Nice try!

20. We all know the beautiful legend of Tanabata. We all know this vivid love story. We all know what this day symbolizes. I happened to have time that day. Why don't we go for a walk, have tea and coffee?

2 1, the winter wind is blowing and the cold is coming. I miss you deeply; It's raining and winter is thick, and I miss you in my heart; Loneliness, how lonely, thinking of you in my heart, it is difficult to control myself; Yueming, I miss you, and I love you forever!

22. Oath that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble; Commitment, everlasting; Love will not change in this life; Love, always protect; Looking forward to being with you; Miss, never change; Pray, love remains; Satisfaction, happiness. Love in this life, love in this life, and thoughts in this life will not change. 365 days a year, every day, I just hope that we can work together forever!

23, the dead of night, the moon star is rare, looking around the pillow, the lover is far away; The breeze blows the curtains, but it also lifts the inner thoughts. I will enter your dreamland under the guidance of the spring breeze and build our dreams with you; Honey, I love you!

I can't sleep at night without you. I can't eat without you I only eat instant noodles when you are away. Looking at the noodles connected by instant noodles, if I miss you constantly, I am still confused. Come and see me. Miss you.

25. I really care about you. I don't have the courage to tell you. I really want to say I love you. I miss you only every night, and the protagonist in my dream is only you. Wish you: Don't worry, I will always be with you!

26. Every dewdrop is full of my endless thoughts; Every breeze brings my gentle greetings; Every night, I miss you, insomnia; Every season is full of my eternal love. Love letter, sealed with a kiss!

27. Your temperament is like an expensive sandalwood tree (the most noble tree). It is elegant, noble and inviolable, so I can only love you from a distance, and I can't tell you my thoughts face to face. Do you see how pathetic I am?

28. Rain and dew will stay awake for the stars, the wind will whisper for the running water, the lotus pond will miss butterflies, text messages will be sent for you, blessings will be prayed for you, and I will love you, love you, love you!

29. The first time I saw your tenderness was after sunset. Since then, the suffering of missing has made me sad about love. In the drizzle, I miss your delicate figure and long for your precious tenderness in my arms. Love is like breathing life.

30. Different times, different places, different people, only you and me are the same; Time is changing, space is changing, and the only constant is my infinite yearning for you!

3 1, when the wind blows, I miss you! When it rains, I will miss you! Are you okay? Remember to keep in touch.

32. Women should always stay awake and protect themselves. Because men are desperate when they are impulsive, if there is any bad result in the end, it is women who really suffer.

Falling in love with you is the greatest happiness in my life.

34. Love came, I fell in love, kisses and hugs went to bed, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and it was time to break up.

35. She didn't refuse you, but she didn't have a crush on you, which shows that she is lonely now and needs men and love, but you still have many shortcomings, so you can't make her accept and be satisfied at once.

36, love, it turned out to be very easy, that is, gently put you in your heart; Love is not easy, but it can't come to your heart.

No matter where I am, please believe that in this ever-changing world, there is an unchanging heart thinking of you all the time! Thinking of you!

38. Women, gorgeous diamonds and shining pearls have won you a vain imagination like a queen. I don't know, all you have left is the poison of power and the incense of arrogance.

39. You are my man now. If someone bullies you, tell me my name. From today, my name is "Pansi Daxian"!

40. I didn't see your mood get worse when your heart beat faster. I dreamed that your time passed too fast. Are you waiting for your next life to have you?

4 1, today's four major soils: mobile phones wear condoms, pagers wear handcuffs, men wear vests, and women wear bras. you are ...

42. Sweet talk is not my specialty. I don't want to talk about it, but I have a warm chest full of my dreams for you. Let's embark on the road of life together.

43. Love is a bird. It can only fly with wings. One wing is male and the other wing is female. Flying with me can only be achieved through the combination of two wings. May you find another wing and soar in the sky soon.

44, I have a kind of sadness, facing the sky, smirking in a daze; I have a kind of helplessness. You ignored me in front of you. The sky can be cloudy, the water can flow, but the heart remains the same. Look, I will love you all my life!

45. The moth is gone, and my schoolmate has no children to grow beards, and occasionally stays alone. In a few words, the cowboy crossed the river, took a raft and stayed here for three days. It turns out that this word is in front of the world. I love you all my life.

46, men are like smoke, I am the worst in the smoke; Women are like wine, and you are the hottest in wine. If you add me, I will be a drinker and smoker. Light a cigarette and have a glass of wine. I am willing to be with you all my life. Burn me, get drunk, heavy smokers and drunkards will always hold hands.

47. Time is cruel, people are affectionate, and I keep thinking about you. Although I can't see you every day, I will read you 60 funny messages between couples every minute. Send a message to chat with you and pick up this bridge, so I can't see you every day. I have to say I miss you. I miss you every day.

48. It is said that your boyfriend should have a background, but you only have a back and a future. You only have shorts and tickets. You only have face and real estate, but you only have a spatula. My requirements are not high. None of that matters, as long as you are always good to me.

49, my heart is your room, you can enter and hide at any time; Come in and cry secretly when you are sad, and sing loudly when you are happy; This heart will always belong to you, and you can plant trees and grow grain at will; I gave you my heart. What are you waiting for? Marry me!

50. I am naughty and unreasonable, just to attract your attention; I am overbearing and savage, just to let you remember; Don't be angry, be angry with me from now on; If I can hold hands, I will get rid of my temper. Dear, I want to be sweet with you!

5 1, no matter how far away, as long as I sincerely pray, my blessing will fly to you; No matter how difficult it is, just smile and you will receive my expectation. I just want to tell you: I miss you, come back and invite me to dinner!

52. I have been looking for it. The rose in my life finally made me meet you, which is worth following all my life.

53, the star went home, because there are stars waiting for it; The sun goes down because there is a moon waiting for it; The bird has returned to its nest because there are birds waiting for it; I will come back to you, too, because you are waiting for me! My love!

54. Without you, my heart stopped beating; If I can't see you, my eyes will be blind; If I can't reach your hand, my hand will lose its temperature; I can't see your smile, my world is only dark!

55. You asked me how much I love you. My love is like a woman's heart, which is bottomless. You asked me how long I loved you. My love is like a foot wrap, which has a long-lasting charm. You asked me how much I love you. My love is like a money detector, which can prevent counterfeiting and distinguish authenticity. Welcome everyone to know more. Is it true that I love you?

56. I miss you too much to sleep. I won't regret the widening of my belt, I will languish for you. You ask me how much I love you, and the moon represents my heart. Follow the moon resolutely, and free friendship can be lost.

After many years, I finally met the right person at the right time! Dear, thank you for letting me: end my lonely wandering; End the battle of the soul; Find a sweet home and be together forever!

58. As the saying goes, "Eat less, save money for love." In order to save more money, the instant noodles in the supermarket downstairs are out of stock because of me. Now I have saved enough money and courage to tell you: "Dear MM, please accept me, come and cook for me, I can't cook! !

59. Yesterday, the male ticket WeChat said: Remember that you are mine. It was quite touching at the time. As a result, he sent another small apple.

60. I went out to play with a sister paper yesterday. Suddenly she said that she had been bitten by a snake in her chest, and told me to suck out the poison quickly. I laughed as soon as I heard it: How can you be such a person? What if I get poisoned by inhaling it? You think I'm stupid! Go, take you to the hospital. Shit, and then she said it's okay. Is this girl crazy? Stay away from her in the future.

6 1, dear users, as most of your short messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has caused a very bad influence in society, we have suspended your short message function, please learn your stylistic knowledge!

62. Note: Stand in front of the mirror, gently hold your chin, blink three times with your left eye, blink three times with your right eye, and then blink with a smile. You will vaguely see a fool blinking at the mirror!

63. On this full moon night, Chang 'e said to me: She will go down to find you, give you a beauty treatment and restore your original beauty! Are you ready? Pig, stop texting and ask you a question!

64. You have worked quietly in the film circle for many years, and only you know the bitterness best. However, your efforts have finally been recognized by people, and you have won the Golden Bird Award: the nomination of the best animal star.

65. A buddy fell in love with his sister's paper in this class. After that, a sister in another class wrote a love letter, and the buddy decisively derailed. My sister-in-law in this class was furious and went to find the third theory. * * * came ... After a while, my sister-in-law of this class came back and asked her how she was. Sister paper roared: damn, it's much more beautiful than me. I am a man. I also chose her. Why bother?

66. A young couple are quarrelling. The woman said: You haven't got paid this month. Are you raising a mistress? M: If I give it to you, don't say you don't want it ... Then my daughter-in-law got angry and shouted, I said I don't want it before going to bed. How did you know to climb up? ...

67. Little comma was dumped by his girlfriend, and he was heartbroken. Friend comfort: forget it, forget her, it's no big deal! The little comma cried: I can't forget it. I bought her a lot of things, all on installment.

68. Wukong, you clean the glass; Friar Sand, mop the floor. Bajie, the master knows your situation very well. After careful consideration, he decided to give you a chance to show off-after reading this message, hurry to clean the girls' toilet.

69. I work as a cashier in a bank. After quarreling with my boyfriend yesterday, he actually called our bank customer service and complained that I had a bad attitude towards customers. .

70. I have a crush on you. The first time I saw you, I decided that you were the most suitable person in my life, but my only regret was .............. Sorry, I sent the wrong person.

7 1, I went to his campus to find him and asked him to look downstairs. He sent me a message saying: I have a crazy woman standing downstairs. I said, come down, crazy woman wants to talk to you.

72. My boyfriend said, Baby, your skin is so white. After a few seconds' silence, he sighed. What a waste!

73. My boyfriend and I were walking in the community and saw a couple hugging each other. I said enviously, it's too sweet. Please give me a hug. My boyfriend looked around and pulled me into his arms: the hug was cold and warm.

74. I told my wife that I dreamed of going to Beijing to eat roast duck with her in the evening. She asked if she had eaten in her dream. I said if you didn't eat, just watch me eat. She immediately slapped me and said that I was not good to her, so she went back to her mother's house in a rage. What's even more ridiculous is that my uncle also called me to lecture me and asked me to do it again. Can I do it again?

In previous years, I prayed to God for my happiness. Now I have you by my side. I know, happiness, I have got it. I love you!

76. Although you are eager to follow me, although I don't want to refuse you, I still want to say: puppy, don't follow me, I really just have a white radish in my hand, not an extended version of meat buns!

77. It is real gold and never fears fierce flames; Is a pine tree, never afraid of the long cold; Haiyan, never afraid of lightning that cuts the sky; What an idiot, staring at the text message!

78. With you in life, life is full of infinite vitality; With you along the way, I am afraid of lightning; Just because of you, happiness and satisfaction are always overflowing; Without you, who will feed the pig food?

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