What makes you cry late at night and stay awake all night?

In high school, I once dated a girlfriend. I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly missed her. At that time, mobile phones were not as popular as they are now, so my thoughts naturally disappeared. Staring at me in bed for a while, I jumped up, dressed quickly and went out to look for her. Even if I study by myself the next morning, I can still see her. At that time, I thought I was renting a house outside in the name of facilitating my study, so I wouldn't be hindered by my uncle and I could come and go freely. When I went out, I found it was snowing heavily outside. Thick snow has accumulated on the ground, and snowflakes in the sky fall like screened ash. But my heart is full of love and I don't feel cold at all. The snowy winter nights in the north are particularly quiet. It's already past two in the morning, and there are no pedestrians on the street. Only the sound of stepping on the snow is particularly clear. I crossed the street in the town and went downstairs to my girlfriend's house. However, I can't do anything. The door is locked. Even if it is open, I don't have the courage to challenge her mother's patience in the middle of the night. So I stood downstairs in the heavy snow for a while, smoked a cigarette, and after a while, I went to the Internet cafe by the way ... It was not until a long time later that my sister stopped contacting me, and I was not the chicken-blood teenager who could carry the snow in the middle of the night that I realized my mentality at that time. This is just a performance. It doesn't make any sense except to touch yourself and create a little illusion of infatuation. In feelings, we often feel that what we do can touch the world, make the listener sad and make the viewer sigh. Why can't we touch you? It is always easy for us to create an illusion of infatuation in a masochistic way, so that we can stand on the moral commanding heights of our feelings and gain a deformed sense of satisfaction and security. In fact, whether standing downstairs in the other party's house on a snowy night or giving her a cup of milk tea in the face of heavy rain, I often think that this is as intense as Qiao Feng's war against Juxian Village and Guan Yu's solo riding, but for the other party, a cup of milk tea is just a cup of milk tea, which can't bear the emotional decline you want to pin on it. When I was a teenager, I couldn't wait to express my full love. As a result, I often fell into the performance unconsciously. So two people's memories will be biased. For those memories that you feel unforgettable, the other party often doesn't feel the same way, or even at a loss. The sign of growth is to know how to restrain yourself. Restrain your emotions, your desire to perform, and even your liking. When I was a teenager, I liked someone and hated turning her into a part of my body. She just said she was cold, so my heart froze here. She said I was sad. I lost my life immediately, and I was more sad than her, for fear that I could not express my love. In fact, no one can bear the value of another person. Only by being an independent and valuable person can we really learn to love another person. Never try to change another person, it is doomed to be futile. Just be yourself. The true meaning of love lies in mutual attraction and like-minded peers, not in chasing and attachment.