What do you need to know about immigrating to the Netherlands?

1. Life

1: Clothes

When it comes to clothes, we have to talk about the height of the Dutch. The average height of Dutch boys is 185.5cm, ranking first in the world. I was drowned in the crowd in China, but now I can only find confidence in front of preschoolers. Therefore, it is more troublesome to buy clothes, shoes, etc. The sizes are suitable, but the styles are too childish; the good-looking ones have no size. Very embarrassing. The most painful thing is: after coming to the Netherlands, I can no longer see my face in the mirror, I can only catch a glimpse of the dark top of my head. However, also because of this height advantage, when we first came to the Netherlands, the three of us could sleep on the air bed for a week without any pressure. We could also buy cheap children's shoes at UGG, which were the same as adult shoes at half the price. God is really fair.

Another point related to dressing is that on rainy days, no one holds an umbrella or wears a poncho. It rains a lot in the Netherlands, and it is common for it to rain more than a dozen times a day, so it is often rained on. I remember the first time I went out on a rainy day, I hurriedly took out my poncho. When I finished wearing it, I found that everyone around me was walking calmly in the rain without taking any precautions against rain. That was a shock at the time. Later I learned that most Dutch people wear rainproof clothes, even if they don’t wear rainproof clothes, it doesn’t matter, they are used to it. I have to sigh, the air in the Netherlands is so good and the rain is clean. If you let the Dutch experience the rain in Beijing and see their white clothes turn into gray, they will know the necessity of ponchos and umbrellas.

I find it strange that the Dutch don’t hold umbrellas when it rains, and they also find it strange that Chinese people carry umbrellas in summer. In their culture, they especially like to bask in the sun, and getting a tan is the best. Another way of saying it is that if you don’t go out to tan, then you are poor and can’t afford to travel and sunbathe. But the Chinese did the opposite. My colleague asked me why Chinese people use umbrellas in summer? I said it's for sun protection, we don't like to get tanned. Then she asked an even more amazing question: Do umbrellas provide sun protection? After I explained, she realized that we were using sun umbrellas, or that sun umbrellas are a very strange and rare thing in the Netherlands. So her first reaction when she saw it was that Chinese people use umbrellas in summer. How weird?

2: Food

This is the part that I feel most profoundly. Compared with China’s extensive and profound food culture, the Dutch’s food seems too crude. They have a very casual attitude towards eating and pay attention to speed and convenience. I used to stay at a Dutch friend's house. She had bread slices for breakfast and yogurt and nuts or a sandwich for lunch. It took less than half an hour to finish. Dinner is a little richer, but it's just pasta, potatoes or cheese, and the cooking is a little simple. Cold food is mainly served, and there is less cooking fume. The range hood is not as powerful as the Chinese one, so every time the Chinese cook, it is a disaster for international roommates. Especially when you add a little chili pepper when cooking, the lethality to foreign friends can reach the level of biological and chemical weapons.

When I came to the Netherlands, I didn’t have any urge to go to restaurants to eat Dutch food. In addition to being unpalatable, of course the most important thing is that it is expensive. However, this also allowed me to experience the life of a housewife in advance and enter the world of cooking fumes.

In addition, I think there is another reason why Chinese people attach great importance to eating, that is, we are accustomed to using the opportunity of eating to do many things, such as: talking about business, falling in love, talking about mountains and rivers, all kinds of celebrations... ..One meal may be able to change lives, and its effect is far greater than satisfying people's appetites. So we spend a lot of time cooking and eating, and we never get tired of it. The Dutch or Europeans don’t have this habit of leaving after eating. Sometimes there are dinner parties where everyone gets together to eat and drink for a few hours, but they are infrequent and generally don't drink too much. And our Chinese dining table culture is generally mixed with the wine culture and interpersonal relationships, such as "the wine is over three rounds, the food is over five flavors"; "if the feelings are shallow, lick it; if the feelings are deep, one mouthful is boring" and so on. A similar occasion for the Dutch is parties. They go to parties to make friends, but I don’t think they discuss business at parties. I really don’t have a good impression of this party. I have participated in the big party on the Dutch King’s Day, the school’s freshman party and some small dormitory parties. However, it feels a bit monotonous, just beer with deafening music and people who are happy for unknown reasons.

It is impossible to have a big meal on a friend's birthday. A friend from Ecuador shared his experience of celebrating his birthday in the Netherlands.

He told his Dutch friends that tomorrow was his birthday. The friend said yes, then bring the cake and we will eat it together. He was speechless. Didn't his friends make him cakes and give him gifts? No choice, just do as the Romans do. The next day, he came to the office and everyone sat in a circle around the cake. He wanted to shake hands with his friends one by one to express his gratitude. It’s not like celebrating birthdays in China and enjoying the treatment of the birthday girl. I think this may be similar in Europe. When my roommate in the Czech Republic celebrated his birthday, he spent two nights in advance making cookies for his birthday. Although they were not very delicious, it was still a lot of hard work. Wait until your birthday to buy a lot of beer, as well as two or three bags of potato chips and candies. Don't expect to be full at a European birthday party. Apart from chips, biscuits, and candies, the only unlimited supply is beer.

I was really disappointed with the food, but I was very satisfied with the drink. The Dutch milk is famous all over the world. It is of good quality and most importantly, cheap. It has also developed my habit of drinking milk for breakfast. My lactose intolerance seems to be cured, which is very gratifying. The water quality here is also very good. I just heard a PhD in water conservancy engineering say today that the water in Dutch tap pipes is cleaner and more hygienic than the water in mineral water bottles because the water source is the same. However, bottled water has undergone a lot of processing, while tap water has not, so you can drink it without worry. In addition, there are also many varieties of wine here, including all kinds of red wine and beer. It is said that there are hundreds of kinds of beer alone. For me, I can't tell the difference. I can only taste that some beers are sweet and some are bitter; some look black and some look yellow, that's all.

Regarding food, I finally want to share the experience of a Ugandan friend. She had just arrived in the Netherlands and was walking around in the city center. She felt a little cold and saw many coffee shops, so she went in to buy a cup of coffee, but the answer she received was that they did not sell coffee. Later I learned that this kind of shop is a place for selling drugs and smoking drugs legally, and it has nothing to do with coffee.

3: Living

I envy the Dutch people for their good living environment: good air, good greenery, single-family houses with small gardens. The unique feature is that every house has huge windows, almost one wall is a window. It seems that because the tax in the Netherlands used to be based on the size of the door, the Dutch reduced the size of the door and expanded the window area. Large items such as furniture are transported in through the windows. However, the amazing thing is that there is no anti-theft window outside such a large glass window, and it is always closed regardless of whether it is on the ground floor or not. This may mean that the public security in the Netherlands is good, but if this were done in China, it would induce thieves to commit crimes. Of course, the most amazing thing is that the Dutch rarely use curtains. Even if they do, they are just decorations and are never closed. So, when walking on the road, I accidentally see someone eating, someone watching TV, someone walking around shirtless... Who said Westerners value privacy? Your name is marked on the door of every house. Doesn’t this have anything to do with privacy?

Speaking of this, I also want to share an activity that seems to have no privacy at all. That is, many saunas in the Netherlands have mixed steaming, and the saunas in Germany also have mixed steaming. A friend went to a sauna in Germany. As soon as he entered the changing room, he saw a naked woman. He was shocked at the time, but when he saw that everyone looked calm, he relaxed. You are not allowed to wear clothes when entering the sauna. A Chinese friend went in wearing swimming trunks, and a German friend with a sense of justice told him to take them off... I asked my colleagues if they would also go to such a sauna. Some saunas say they don’t care, others say it depends on the situation. If you are more concerned about it, you will usually rent a house with a sauna with a group of very close friends, so that you can only see your friends*, but even so, I can't accept it!

　4: OK

In this regard, I think most people know that the Netherlands is the kingdom of bicycles. I had heard about it before going abroad, but when I came here and saw the red plastic bicycle highway and the special bicycle traffic lights, I felt that it was really well-deserved. The most amazing thing is that you need to learn the traffic regulations when riding a bicycle in the Netherlands, and they are the same as those for cars. In the Netherlands, you will see a group of children wearing safety warning uniforms riding bicycles and following their teachers on the streets. Yes, they are learning traffic rules. Therefore, in the Netherlands, when a bicycle and a car collide, the police determine who is responsible, not by looking at the car, but by whether the owner violated traffic regulations. If a bicycle violates traffic regulations, the car is not responsible at all. What’s even more frightening is that the traffic regulations in the Netherlands are still very complicated. Traffic lights are divided into cars, bicycles and pedestrians, and there are various arrows indicating the right to drive. Each city will be slightly different, and it really requires systematic study.

Bicycles in the Netherlands can reach the speed of buses. Of course, I wasn't the one who was majestic on the road. I was just riding a stroller with a swaying rear wheel and moving slowly. When I wasn't paying attention, a figure passed by with a "whoosh". It was indeed a high speed! Although there are many advantages to traveling by bicycle, if the bicycle breaks down, the repair cost is very high. In the small village where I live, the bicycle repair place starts at 9 euros. Once, I just replaced a spoke on my bicycle and it cost 20 euros.

Compared with China, the public transportation in the Netherlands has much fewer varieties. There is no subway or high-speed rail. Generally, if you want to go from one city to another, you can only take a train. The 200-kilometer high-speed rail in China only takes less than an hour. Here, the fastest is two and a half hours. The Netherlands is simply not that big, otherwise traveling would be really inconvenient.

2. Thoughts

1: Directness

Westerners are generally direct, expressing their feelings directly without hiding anything. A friend from Ecuador mentioned a small example:

One day, he asked his Dutch friend if he wanted to go see it with him*. The person came back and said, "No, I don't want to go."

He was stunned, because in his culture, rejection is generally more tactful. If you don't want to go, you usually just excuse yourself because you have something to do. However, this guy was so direct that he thought he must have done something wrong and offended others. Later I realized that this is the way people talk.

Another example, a friend A made a croissant and posted the photo in the group. The next day, another Dutch friend B asked: "How was the croissant you made yesterday?" A replied, "It's quite delicious." Then B said, "Really? But it doesn't look delicious!" I listened. At this point in the conversation, I almost felt embarrassed, but A was very calm and didn't react as usual.

Westerners are direct, and the Dutch are the most direct among them. Some French or British people who came to the Netherlands were shocked by the Dutch people's rough and direct way of communication. As a country of etiquette, the Chinese often say compliments that go against our will in order not to hurt the other person. Here, I don’t want to say that we are hypocritical or that the Dutch are too rash. It’s just that people from different cultures have different values. The Dutch believe that honesty is often more important than politeness.

Regarding this kind of directness, I asked the Dutch* people present if a boy confessed but they didn’t like him, would they say directly: "No, I don’t like you!" Or would they say : "You're good, but we're not suitable. You'll find someone better." Their unanimous answer was the latter.

A strange direct + implicit example is that when receiving a gift, the Dutch (or Westerners) will open the gift directly in person, and then, whether they like it or not, they will say "very good", "thank you", etc. We Chinese seem to wait until the guests leave to open the gifts immediately, so as not to be disappointed by the gift and hurt the guest’s face.

I think it depends on the situation. For strangers, directness is the most effective way and also reflects integrity. However, speaking about matters involving emotions still requires some skills.

2: Weak sense of hierarchy

Chinese people have a strong sense of hierarchy. There are seniors and juniors at home, and leaders and subordinates outside. Everyone needs to remember their status, and don’t Leap level. The Dutch don't seem to care much about this. We can just call the professor by his name instead of, "Professor X".

About this, I made a joke once. I once sent a letter to a teacher because I was new here and I couldn’t figure out what the teacher’s personality was like. In order to show my respect, I used “professor + last name” on my head. The first sentence the teacher replied was that no one had ever called him that, either by his name or by Mr. Very awkward.

But what is strange to me is that teachers in China are so dignified, but in class, there are various phenomena that do not "respect teachers" such as sleeping, playing with mobile phones, chatting, etc. In the Netherlands, teachers are not gods, but in their classes, whether it is a class with hundreds of people or a small class with just a few people, almost no one is sleeping, and there are very few people playing with mobile phones or computers. This may be the respect between people, the respect for teachers to do their work, just like they respect cleaners, rather than the seniority and inferiority formed due to social hierarchy.

While studying for a PhD in the Netherlands, I became more and more aware of this equal relationship.

You can call the instructor by his name, make all kinds of jokes, cook and play with the instructor, and become both a teacher and a friend. However, my impression of most domestic tutors is that they are superior. I respect them and admire them. I really want to know more about the teachers. I would like to carry their shoes for them, but sometimes I don’t even have the chance to kneel down and lick them. So far, I prefer this kind of equal relationship. It not only makes me more self-aware, but also makes the relationship between people less complicated. Of course, I couldn’t stand it when I heard my mentor’s son call him by his first name. At least I couldn’t imagine how my father would react if I called him by his first name.

3: Strong sense of time

In China, our sense of time is relatively flexible. If we agree to meet at three o'clock, it's okay if we meet later. Especially for elders or leaders, it is acceptable to arrive more than half an hour late. In the Netherlands, time must be observed without exception, regardless of status. Especially the store closing is very punctual and without delay. It's usually hard to understand if you're more than five minutes late for a date.

However, getting along with my roommates doesn’t feel like this. We agreed to cook at 7 o'clock, but they started coming one after another at 9 o'clock, and we didn't start eating until 11 o'clock. It was so stained that it made me crazy.

4: Strong planning

A Spanish doctor said that almost every Dutch person uses a calendar to plan their itinerary. One day, he wanted to ask a Dutch doctor out for dinner. His first reaction was to take out his mobile phone and look at his calendar. After flipping through it for a long time, he said, "I'm not free tomorrow morning, I'm not free in the afternoon, I'm not free the day after tomorrow... next Saturday." Bar. He was speechless for a moment. He was just going out to have a meal. Is it worth it?

I just went out for a while and heard a conversation "wouldyouliketocome?" They all immediately sat down next to the computer and started to check when they were free. Unlike teachers in China, who can give a time immediately, or make an approximate time, and then check back later.

Maybe it’s because they like things to go according to plan and don’t like a messy life without planning.

5: Freedom

The Netherlands is a free country. To paraphrase what a tour guide said before: "Many things that other countries are still discussing, the Netherlands has passed, such as: *, *, *, * and *."

In the Netherlands, you can choose to do what you like, but the vast majority of people will choose a normal life. Society is not in chaos because it regulates itself.

6. GoDutch

The famous godutch in the West originated from the Netherlands. The Dutch are also famous in Europe for being picky and fussy. Here is a Dutch self-deprecating saying, "Do you know how copper wire was invented?" This originated from two Dutchmen who picked up a coin on the road. They both thought they were the first to discover it, so they fought for each other. Finally, Pulled into copper wire." (Refer to godutch_Baidu Encyclopedia)

On the Dutch bank APP, there is a function called Splitbills. When I first came here, I didn’t know what this was for, and I simply thought it was for installment payments. Later, when I learned about it, I realized that AA is so commonplace in Dutch life.

A Pakistani friend talked about an experience. When he first came to the Netherlands, after a class, a Dutch student invited everyone to his home. He went very happily and felt like he had made a new friend. good opportunity. They ate some Dutch food, talked a lot, played games, and had a great time. When he finally left, his friend said, "4 euros per person." He was confused. It felt so unbelievable. In their country, there was no reason to ask guests to pay.

In China, it’s the same. If you invite guests over and ask them to pay, it’s probably the end of the world. However, when I talked about this difference with my Dutch friend, he asked me, wouldn’t it mean that poor people can’t invite their friends to play, so how can they afford them? That being said, it seems that there is indeed such a drawback. Not to mention that the poor cannot afford this kind of expensive social interaction. Maybe most Chinese people are burdened by treating guests to dinner, giving gifts and all kinds of money. It involves not only spending money, but also trying to figure out the rules.

In the Netherlands, giving gifts and following others are less scary.

There is no need to give gifts to friends on their birthdays. Just say happy birthday and thank them for the birthday cake. Even if your best friend gets married or has a baby, sending a card can express your feelings. If you want to go out to eat, the price of the meal is also clearly marked. If you participate for the whole day, you will be charged 25 euros, and if you only eat dinner, it will be 15 euros. After adulthood, even if you go out to eat with your parents, it is not surprising that you will be in AA mode.

Sometimes I like this simple and rough communication mode. I am not burdened by the relationship, and there is not so much burden when we get along with each other. However, I feel like I still can’t accept it if I have an AA relationship with the person I’m closest to.

I feel that Western culture must have an impact on Chinese culture. For example, young people have become accustomed to this kind of AA. But it doesn’t mean that we are completely westernized or completely individualistic, it just means that our definition of intimate relationships has become narrower. In the past, people in a village might have been their own people, and then it became a clan that needed to be maintained. Now, this intimate circle may be smaller, limited to one's own small family.

Tips on politeness

1. Sneezing

Foreigners still attach great importance to sneezing. The following three points are more important:

- In a quiet atmosphere, you can say "Sorry" before sneezing to express your regret for disturbing others

- When sneezing, you must turn your back to others and cover your mouth. (Sneezing without covering your mouth is one of the most annoying behaviors of the Dutch)

-After someone sneezes, say "Blessyou" (God bless you) or "Gezondheid" (Wish you good health) in Dutch ), this seems to be a habit of Westerners. There is already an answer on Zhihu: Why do people say BlessYou after Americans sneeze?

2. Gifts

This has been mentioned in part above, and I will reiterate it again.

The Dutch are very direct, so if you want to give a gift but can't think of a suitable one, you can just ask the other person what they want to receive, because they don't want to receive a gift they don't like.

No matter how small the gift is, wrap it and attach a card.

When you receive a gift from others, you should open it in person and thank them. If you don't open it in front of others, people will think you don't like it.

In addition to these cultural differences, during the discussion session, Dutch students asked two interesting questions, which I would like to share here.

The first one is to ask me what I think of the Dutch "Black Peter". This is a conflict between tradition and human rights. Black Peter is a black man who helps Santa Claus distribute gifts. "Some people believe that the character of Black Peter has instilled stereotypes about black people in people, and is suspected of vilifying and mocking black people. In addition, the origin of Black Peter is likely to be related to the slave trade that the Netherlands was engaged in at that time. Such a man with this kind of character is celebrated vigorously. How do the hundreds of thousands of slaves living in the Netherlands feel embarrassed by a holiday with a historical background? "(Excerpted from Tradition Make Way for Human Rights? Dutch holiday traditions are accused of racial discrimination and investigated by the United Nations).

The Dutch students present believed that this was just a tradition and they never thought it had anything to do with discrimination or human rights. This reminds me of the Yulin Dog Meat Festival that was a hot topic a while ago. Is this a dispute between tradition and animal protection?

The second one was more speechless. A Dutch boy asked: "How is China's economic level? Does everyone have a computer?" I smiled lightly and said: "China is developing very rapidly now. Almost everyone has a computer." They all have computers; in addition, as for mobile phones, data shows that every Chinese person owns more than one mobile phone. Apple is an arcade machine in China..." I laughed because I didn't expect anyone to ask such a stupid question. , still a college student. Chatting with an Indian guy, he said that some Dutch people also asked him similar questions about whether Indians can eat well. It is true that Western culture is currently a strong culture and does not seem to need to learn anything from other developing countries. However, being so unconcerned about the outside world can sometimes be very dangerous.