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How do parents treat their children's puppy love?

The most difficult problem in family education is puppy love. Children's puppy love will indeed bring shadows to schools and families, which may affect their studies, but it may lead children to fall into a misunderstanding. Parents must understand the characteristics of adolescence, strengthen education, give priority to prevention and plan ahead.

When boys and girls enter adolescence, they have many physiological changes and have an affection for the opposite sex. This is an instinct of human development, and it is also a specific period for children to bid farewell to their boyhood. However, puppy love is a green apple, and it is conceivable that it is sour, so the prevention work should start before the bud of puppy love appears. If your child has puppy love, we suggest-

First, be a good teacher and friend of children, and don't intensify contradictions.

Boys and girls in psychological closure period can expose their privacy, which just provides us with educational opportunities. Parents should be children's mentors and friends to win their trust. Don't treat puppy love as a scourge, it is a natural expression of human emotions. The main reasons for students' puppy love are: First, looking for spiritual support. The fierce competition makes everyone nervous, and the opposite sex may get a little comfort, talk to each other and escape from reality. Secondly, influenced by some love novels and movies, even love stories in textbooks ... these are undoubtedly very attractive to boys and girls in Seeds of Love. When encountering puppy love children, parents and teachers should extend warm hands, give warmth to their loved ones, and do patient, meticulous and arduous influence and ideological work. I believe that children will change.

Second, face up to puppy love and never give up hope.

If the child is really puppy love, then parents must treat it well and never take it lightly. Don't cover up, cover up, let go, or even give up hope because it is difficult to say, which will eventually lead to adverse consequences. The following points are important:

1, strive to build the family into a warm and harmonious paradise and make children feel safe. Find the child's puppy love, ask the reason and solve the problem. Is the so-called "fact" caused by student input? Or an emotional impulse? Is it the confusion of adolescence or the pressure of study? In short, careful investigation and patient ideological reform are needed.

2. Actively communicate with children. Don't ask how to learn at first. How's the grade? What's the ranking? You can start with other aspects of life and topics that children are interested in. Communication should pay attention to art, calm down and think hard, find a solution and get the ideal educational effect.

3. Help children get rid of confusion. For example, families expect their children to achieve excellent grades, but the children are not ideal; The school opposes puppy love and children fall in love; Children who violate discipline are severely criticized ... these contradictions and conflicts will make children feel depressed, so it is necessary to help children raise their awareness ideologically in time.

4. Keep the closest contact with the school. Parents should not relax, make a fuss or be embarrassed when children are puppy love. It is necessary to maintain close cooperation with the school in time, actively communicate and cooperate with teachers to solve problems.

Puppy love refers to the premature establishment of love relationship between underage men and women The behavior of young people who can stand on their own feet and are far below the legal age for marriage to fall in love prematurely. This is a controversial concept. Most educators in China believe that primary and secondary school students' falling in love is a premature behavior that does not conform to their age characteristics and should be stopped.

The characteristics of puppy love behavior can be summarized as: longing, simplicity, difference and instability. Because teenagers often blindly imitate the love of adults, they can't tell the essential difference between friendship and love. Therefore, most middle school students think that "puppy love is harmless" is just a kind of affection, not for the purpose of getting married. In recent years, a large number of premarital sex, teenage pregnancy and teenage mothers have occurred abroad, which is the root cause of puppy love. The roots of puppy love are mainly related to social rumors and misleading propaganda of sexual orientation by mass media, lack of correct sex education at home and school, and early puberty. The development of sexual physiology arouses the awakening of sexual consciousness, arouses teenagers' mystery about sex and arouses their desire to explore and try; Parents and teachers are allergic to puppy love, and blindly stopping them will strengthen children's rebellious psychology. In the current information-developed era, middle school students have obtained a lot of information related to them from various mass media, and their horizons have expanded dramatically, turning hazy sexual consciousness into conscious pursuit.

(1) Young people's puppy love goes through the following stages: 1. Determine the target. Start to pay attention to a certain opposite sex and miss it silently. At this stage, you can flirt with each other and make eyes at each other. Some middle school students' puppy love only stays at this stage and becomes "unrequited love". If you dare not go with your favorite, you will also form emotional barriers, which will affect your normal life and study. 2. Take action. Write love letters, pass notes, give small gifts, etc. Between middle school students of the opposite sex, it is a manifestation of affection for a certain opposite sex. At the same time, you can have dating behaviors, such as going to the park, watching movies, traveling, etc. 3. Frequent dating. Gradually enter a one-on-one relatively stable date, which may be open, and it seems that the "love" relationship has been determined. 4. make love. Although it is a minority, it has increased in recent years, especially in vocational high schools and technical secondary schools. Among technical school students. Because I feel that I am about to enter the society, and I am an adult. I have more premarital sex than ordinary middle schools. However, because educators are not unified in their sexual concepts and educational methods, the definition of puppy love tends to expand, and adolescent health is often labeled as puppy love, which also brings educational difficulties. For example, the spontaneous group and collective activities of middle school students are the performance of adolescence; The opposite sex helps and cares for each other, and occasionally moves alone; There is also friendship between peers, childhood friends, etc., not necessarily puppy love.

(II) Characteristics and types of puppy love Teenagers' puppy love behavior has the following characteristics: 1. Teenagers who are hazy and puppy love don't know the development outcome of puppy love relationship. They are mainly eager to get in touch with the opposite sex alone, but they lack a clear understanding of how to form a family in the future, how to deal with the relationship between love and school, and how to distinguish friendship from love. 2. Contradictory teenagers with puppy love relationship are also full of contradictions. They want to contact, but they are afraid of being discovered. Pleasure and pain coexist in the process of puppy love. 3. Variant puppy love relationship is a kind of emotional relationship full of changes and extremely unstable. One-on-one puppy love relationship between teenagers lacks durability and generally does not last long. There are obvious differences in puppy love behavior among different teenagers. In the way of behavior, some teenagers' puppy love behavior is very hidden, and they convey their feelings through letters, but some teenagers' newspapers are open, just like lovers on many occasions. On the relationship level, the main activity of most teenagers who are in puppy love is to chat together and exchange unrequited love. From the perspective of interpersonal relationship, it is not beyond the normal relationship. People have deep relationships. Besides talking about feelings, they even have sex. In terms of age preference, girls like men who are older and more mature than themselves. At the same age, most girls are active. Boys like girls younger than themselves and show their masculinity in communication. There are eight types of puppy love. The first is adoration, that is, the phenomenon of puppy love between teenagers due to mutual adoration. According to the different objects of admiration, it can be divided into: appearance type is puppy love caused by loving each other's appearance; Expertise is puppy love caused by envy of each other's abilities and expertise; Personality type is puppy love caused by liking each other's excellent personality. The second kind, curiosity, is the phenomenon of puppy love caused by curiosity about the opposite sex. Strong curiosity about the opposite sex is a natural psychological phenomenon of teenagers with the development of sexual consciousness. Because of physical development and sexual maturity, teenagers are prone to sexual impulses, become very sensitive to the opposite sex, and are eager to understand the psychology and physiology of the opposite sex and the attitude of the opposite sex towards themselves. In order to satisfy this curiosity, I want to establish a "love" relationship with heterosexual friends. The third kind, imitation, is the phenomenon of puppy love caused by imitating other people's behavior. The objects of imitation mainly come from social life, film and television works and newspapers and books. Fourth, conformity, that is, puppy love caused by the pressure of people around you. People around you refer to their peers. The fifth type, pleasure type, is the phenomenon of puppy love in order to get a pleasant emotional experience. The intimate communication between men and women in adolescence often brings pleasant experiences to both sides, which will further promote the intimate communication between teenagers and gradually turn into puppy love. Sixth, compensatory, that is, in order to obtain emotional compensation and alleviate the frustrated puppy love phenomenon. Emotional compensation means that when teenagers are frustrated academically or emotionally, some teenagers hope to get emotional compensation from the opposite sex through puppy love out of competitive psychology or in order to get rid of emotional trauma. Seventh, the reverse type, that is, the phenomenon of puppy love caused by improper intervention by others in the two ways. The typical psychology is "You forbid me to do this, but I will do it anyway". Under the action of rebellious psychology, normal alienation will rapidly develop into puppy love relationship. Eighth, pathological type, that is, puppy love caused by pathological reasons. In contemporary society, some teenagers are precocious, physically like adults, or psychologically precocious, or sexually perverted due to overnutrition, sexual hormones in some foods, or physical diseases, family inheritance and other reasons. All these will induce the phenomenon of puppy love among teenagers.

(3) The evolutionary reason of puppy love is the overly intimate approach between the sexes in the process of puberty sexual maturity. Nowadays, most people call puppy love "too intimate" Boys and girls fall in love instinctively because of sexual development. Some people have unrequited love, some break through the shackles of shyness, pass notes, date, pour out their love to each other, and help each other under the pretext of being inseparable, while others have further sexual contact. Teenagers are prone to emotional impulses, but they are fragile, emotionally unstable, simple in thinking and rarely consider the consequences. This psychological situation makes puppy love as unpredictable as the clouds in the sky, and the emotions of puppy lovers will fluctuate accordingly, and the feelings between them often appear repeatedly. Generally speaking, extroverted and attractive people are more prone to puppy love than introverted and plain people. Because most extroverts dare to do things, dare to violate school rules, and have people who are suitable for them, they will boldly pursue them. People with outstanding looks are often the goal pursued by everyone, especially beautiful girls, who often can't stand the pursuit of others. They were proud of being admired by boys, listened to sweet words and soon fell in love with boys. Students who love literature and have literary talent are prone to puppy love. Influenced by the environment, these students are emotional and sentimental. They like to compare their lives with the romantic plots in books and movies, imitate the heroes written by artists and pursue the ideal world of love. In addition, they have a certain talent and are often envied by the opposite sex, so it is easy to get information about love. Students with weak personality and strong vanity are prone to puppy love. Girls are more common in this group of people. They have been spoiled and dependent since childhood. When they find a boyfriend, they will feel dependent. They are attached to a boy, so it is easy to become a boy's love prisoner. And those girls with strong vanity are mostly willing to accept boys' attention, praise and small favors because of their strong vanity. Some students are out of the "comparison" mentality and embark on puppy love. They see that all their peers have boyfriends and go to cinemas, dance halls, pubs and so on. , so they are not willing to lag behind. Students with poor academic performance are more likely to fall in love early than those with good academic performance. These students are often unpopular with their teachers, and receive little special attention in their studies. They can't concentrate on their studies, and they won't get any fun from their studies at all. As a result, they turn their energy and time that they have nowhere to spend to love and society to make up for the emotional emptiness. Most of these students don't pursue their classmates, especially girls, and often look for social youth. Students who lack family warmth and love are prone to puppy love. These people often appear in the emotional breakdown of their parents, divorce, abuse by their stepfathers and stepmother, or the death of their parents without warmth, living in an indifferent, depressed and even humiliating environment. So they long for the warmth of others, and the comfort of the opposite sex can make up for this and let them taste the sweetness of love. Students in poor environment are prone to puppy love. These students come into contact with some irresponsible people, or the friends they play with are puppy lovers. Encouraged and instigated by others, they also boldly followed suit, just as the ancients said: those who are close to ink are black. The reasons for puppy love are often varied and complicated. Some students combined with the above situation, puppy love is bound to happen. Some students fell in love by accident. Therefore, in order to "prevent the micro-duration", Wood can mechanically use these dogmas to sit in the right place, but he should be good at discovering the harbingers of puppy love, such as abnormal performance in study, labor and extracurricular activities; Sudden decline in academic performance, frequent absenteeism, late arrival and early departure, even truancy, emotional instability, sometimes spring breeze, sometimes dark clouds, fidgeting, fidgeting, absent-minded in class; I don't like teachers and parents, so I avoid them. I like dressing up, paying attention to hairstyles and clothes, reading romance novels, extracting wonderful descriptions, humming pop songs and so on. Only by observing and understanding the signs of puppy love can we grasp the opportunity and grasp the initiative of education.

(4) How to treat young people's puppy love refers to the phenomenon of puppy love between teenagers or before adolescence, also known as "puppy love". Most of them are related to the premature germination of sexual excitement caused by environmental factors, and a few are also related to loneliness, emptiness and lack of psychological support. Boys and girls who fall in puppy love are happy and naive because of the psychological effect of mutual attraction and admiration. Because emotions dominate and dealing with problems is usually irrational, puppy love is harmful. It is blind, simple and unstable. In real life, there are few ideal families after puppy love. The emotion of puppy love is real and strong, but it is precisely because of this strong emotion that once lovelorn, it can form a strong psychological contrast, leading to serious sense of loss and psychological imbalance. Its emotional impact on people is lasting, and sometimes it will cause lifelong adverse effects on the parties. Teachers and parents often feel angry when they find their children in puppy love. They think these children are too disappointing and have poor moral quality. In fact, young people's puppy love has little to do with their moral quality. It should be recognized that puppy love is a common phenomenon in the growth of teenagers, which is caused by the trend of early sexual maturity and physical maturity. The responsibility of parents is to help children realize the harm of puppy love and guide them correctly. Early intervention, the child's emotional investment is less, and the harm is less. If you want to get involved early, you must find signs of puppy love early. Children who fall in love generally have the following changes: for example, they are gentle and violent, lively and quiet, and suddenly become fond of dressing up, such as paying special attention to hair style and clothes, and their life rules have changed. As usual, I like to be alone. I am particularly interested in love scenes in movies and TV, and I am also interested in marriage and love in my life. I like to be different, and my academic performance has dropped significantly. If these changes exist, the child is probably in puppy love. "Teachers and parents should respect children's feelings, patiently educate and guide the phenomenon of puppy love, and Kiriko can reprimand, beat and scold or humiliate them in public, otherwise the children will suffer too much mental pain and lead to dangerous consequences. Tell children that puppy love is valuable, but it is fruitless, immature and harmful to children. Let children understand what true love is, how to pursue true love in the future, and guide children to handle the relationship between reason and impulse, reality and future. It is necessary to educate them to correctly handle sex-related issues such as sexual impulse and love, and strive to change the original impulse orientation into the pursuit of higher and more beautiful studies and careers. At the same time, children should be provided with colorful entertainment, sports and other beneficial social activities to create a healthy social environment for teenagers. As long as it is "rational and emotional", it can be overcome by guiding the situation and giving practical and effective help to children. There is a reason why teachers and parents forbid children to fall in love in middle school. Because the middle school stage is the golden age of a person's growth-sharp thinking, strong thirst for knowledge, good memory and full of energy. In such a beautiful life, we should learn all kinds of knowledge extensively, improve our quality and strive to create our own bright future. This is the wisest choice on the road of life. During this period, no matter who likes you or who you like, you should have a consideration in your heart, welcome friendship, refuse love, and don't get too close to anyone in communication. A person's inner beauty can often be discovered through communication and various contacts. Middle school students are still children, and their understanding of society is still superficial, and their world outlook has not yet fully formed. If they enter the misunderstanding of "puppy love" prematurely on the basis of a temporary emotional impulse, they are likely to bear the bitter fruit of regret. There are many girls who stumble because of puppy love in society, and they all have painful lessons. Therefore, it is suggested that all middle school students should follow their parents' advice and focus on their studies. Of course, it's not just to study hard, it's not that you can't be different, just don't "deviate" in the process of communication. For example, properly participate in some social activities with the opposite sex, maintain friendly relations with the opposite sex, and learn from their advantages.