100 text messages to save your marriage (letters to win back cheating husband)

When many women find out that their husbands are cheating, they will ask what the letter is that wants to win back the cheating husband. What was your reaction when you learned that your husband was cheating? Anger? Grievance? Pain? Shock? At that moment, it was like heaven. He was about to collapse, his body was making a buzzing sound, his pupils could no longer focus, and his anger was like a volcano erupting, uncontrollably spewing out from deep inside his heart, but his heart seemed to be peeling off piece by piece, and the anger was mixed with pain, which made him feel uncomfortable. You are shaking and feeling weak. The man who said he loves you forever turns around and loves someone else. How can this not make you feel desperate? You still have a lovely child and a happy and complete family, but now? Everything has been taken care of by him. Destroyed!

For so many years, your efforts and compromises were completely denied the moment he cheated on you. He couldn't see how good you were, nor could he hear how much you needed him. You feel sad, maybe this is marriage, destroying people invisible! You are busy every day, rushing between work and family. You are responsible for your children’s headaches and fever, and you are responsible for your husband’s diet and daily life. You ask hard: What is he doing? Why should I cheat? Didn’t I pay enough?

Perhaps, many people will tell you: men are unreliable, eating from the bowl and looking at the pot, and only thinking with the lower body; that’s how marriage is Well, women work hard and work hard, while men live freely and enjoy themselves. They just have to endure it and it will be over... After hearing so many words, you begin to believe it. It turns out that men are fickle faster than women. In the past, he clearly knew He is a responsible man, but who would have thought that he could abandon his wife and children without even caring about the women outside. However, your heart still cannot calm down. You can accept that men are fickle, but you can’t accept that your husband is so fickle! You can accept that men are unaffectionate, but you can’t accept that the husband who once loved you the most is unenthusiastic!

Even after thinking about it, you can’t figure it out, he Why do you have to cheat? Are you really that bad that he is willing to risk the world's disapproval to cheat on an ordinary-looking woman with an ordinary background? As a senior supervisor who has been in the industry for many years, if I tell you frankly, like Your husband, who used to be affectionate and affectionate, but suddenly became ruthless and unfaithful after cheating, is not an exception at all, and the possibility of completely solving it is as high as 89.3%. Do you believe it?

The cheating problem looks like It’s complicated and difficult to explain. In fact, the biggest difficulty is that 99% of women cannot objectively dismantle the relationship status between them and their husbands. They continue to make things more confusing, use wrong behaviors and methods to intensify conflicts, and finally cut off the last trace of each other with their own hands. Tenderness and reluctance make intimate relationships die. It’s not that the problem of infidelity is difficult to solve, it’s that it becomes difficult to solve the problem whenever the person involved has to deal with it themselves. There is an essential difference between the two, do you understand?

Of course I understand that after learning that your husband has cheated, you will undoubtedly feel angry and painful inside. However, anger cannot solve the problem, and anger cannot actually help you repel the third party or win back your husband's heart. We can only force ourselves to calm down and ask ourselves, is your marriage really always happy? Did the emotional alienation really start after he cheated? Did the decrease in communication really start after he cheated? Did the quarrels really start after he cheated?

90% of the students suddenly recalled a lot of things when I asked this question. "Little things" that I didn't pay much attention to in the past: Last year, we had a red-faced fight over our children's education; a few months ago, we had a huge quarrel over the cost of living; I don't remember when the communication between us started Only limited to trivial matters in daily life, no more intimacy. It turns out that since a long time ago, the feelings are no longer so deep.

You are always quarreling and having cold wars, getting red-faced over trivial matters, and getting angry over old millet and rotten sesame seeds. Your marriage is not that happy, isn't it? Your relationship is becoming more and more tense, and he is becoming more and more cold towards you. The appearance of the third party is not an accident. When you were quarreling with him, there was another woman who was gentle and sensible; when you were having a cold war with him, there was another woman who threw herself into her arms; when your relationship was deteriorating, there was another woman who loved and cared about him.

You and her, one is pushing, the other is pulling, and your husband finally walks in front of her and abandons you.

You are furious, but wasn't the current situation caused by you and him? He was wrong for cheating, but if you pushed him away again and again, did you do the right thing? Many women are unwilling to admit that marriage is more than just an alliance. , you and me, it is a contractual cooperation with a clear price and a genuine price - you complement each other's needs, and then get what you need.

However, after living together for a long time, you gradually forget his needs. After he came home after working overtime, he was greeted by your roar; he wanted to have a relaxing weekend, but he was criticized by you; he rarely met with his friends, drank some wine, and was disturbed by your countless phone calls. There was no atmosphere at all. He coaxed him a few times and felt tired... Every time he needed companionship, care, and understanding, you stubbornly stayed stuck in your own dissatisfaction and emotions. Your hard work is not what he wants at all.

You haven’t paid attention to these little things, have you? The relationship seems to have only some minor flaws, but in fact it has long been out of balance. Inadvertently, he and you drifted apart, and finally he was attracted to another woman who could give him what he needed. What you lost to was not a third party, but his inner needs. Of course, even if you understand this now, you must be furious! Could it be that because of this, he can cheat with confidence? Shouldn't he be condemned for betraying his family, but should I admit my mistake?

Of course not. It is certainly wrong for him to betray the family and betray your trust, but at this juncture, is arguing about right and wrong useful for you to save this marriage? If it is, you don’t even need to take action yourself. Teacher Chen Man will bear the brunt of it for you. Argue with him and you are guaranteed to leave him speechless. But what if we win the fight? How many families have collapsed amidst the sonorous and forceful arguments of their original spouses? How many men have gritted their teeth and decided to divorce in the face of their original spouse’s aggressive reasoning? How many children have been forced to act out their first spouse’s quick impulses? Losing complete fatherly love?

In the final analysis, you are not trying to argue about right or wrong at all, you just mistakenly believe that as long as he can admit that he has done something wrong, he will come back willingly. If you are sure that what you really want to do is not to destroy everything, but to solve the problem and save the marriage, then you should not keep asking "why", but you need to ask "how". Many students will ask: "Teacher, I know it is useless to argue about right and wrong, but he is already having a passionate relationship with another woman. What else can I do except fight for a while?"

Yes, Whenever there is a chance to win back their husband and keep their marriage, 99% of women will not choose to just fight for it. In the final analysis, the reason why you are so impulsive and reckless is because you have no idea what he is thinking. I can’t figure out why he suddenly betrayed his family, and I can’t figure out why he doesn’t want to return to his family. I can’t even figure out why he has to repeatedly contact a third party after finally returning to his family?

In fact, after a man cheats, it is not There is only a sense of freshness and excitement. Under the influence of the pressure of the social environment, family responsibility and moral public opinion, his heart is not relaxed, but his psychology will continue to change with the influence of time and environment. Generally speaking, a man's psychology after cheating is divided into the following four stages:

Early stage of cheating - Guilt stage

In the early stage of cheating, your husband has tasted the excitement of cheating. With it comes guilt for you and your children. No matter what problems arise between you, he is the one who betrayed first, and he is the one who bears the moral condemnation. He understands that his behavior will cause harm to you and the family. While he regrets it, he is attracted to a third party, and his inner morality, responsibility and sense of need are desperately fighting against each other. His cheating is about to come out, and the more it is covered up, the more obvious it becomes, and you have even discovered it. His guilt is getting stronger and stronger, and he wants to make up for you in various ways. He rarely yells at you and tries his best to meet your requirements in everything.

At this stage, you may feel that your relationship is slowly warming up and that he loves you. However, you are still not satisfied. Even if he starts to avoid quarreling with you, even if he goes home early to be with you, even if he has the idea of ??returning to the family and separating from the third party, you will still quarrel, have a cold war, and accuse him. He is irresponsible and irresponsible. When he swings between you and a third party, your subconscious complaints will push him towards another woman.

The middle and early stages of cheating - the escape period

With your constant noise and questioning, and with the gentle understanding of the third party, his original guilt has turned into indifference. "She hates me anyway, why should I go back?" "She will still doubt me if I come back anyway." "She doesn't understand me at all. I will only be an eyesore at home." With this thought, he began to want to escape from that place. A home that will give him stress, complaints, and pain. However, you don't know what you did wrong. Isn't he the one who made the mistake? You hate him for betraying you, and you blame him for ruining this family. You want to wake him up by scolding him, want to control him, and try every means to completely disconnect him from the third party.

On one side is the high-pressure person who quarrels endlessly, and on the other side is the gentle person who understands and cares. If you were the person facing these two choices, which side would you prefer? Your behavior makes him more and more angry. I'm tired of seeing you. In his eyes, you are like a snake, scorpion and beast, making him avoid you. If he keeps running away from you, he will get closer and closer to the third party. You thought he was seduced by a woman outside, but you didn't know that his initial desire to return to the family was killed by you yourself.

The middle and late stages of cheating - the confrontation period

Just as you push away and the third party pulls in repeatedly, your husband completely belongs to your enemy. You are no longer indifferent, but resentful. Why is this happening? You obviously want him to come back, but he moves further and further away. You can't understand his changes and mentality. You have no idea how many entanglements and struggles this man has gone through in his heart to get to this point. Why are you the only one who can accuse me? Why should I be attacked mercilessly? Why can’t I be with the one I love?

When you cry that he doesn’t love you anymore, that he cheated on you, that he It's not easy for him when he has no conscience. Marriage is a double-edged sword. You are hurting each other. It is not only you who are hurt, but also him. Will he continue to escape? No way. Since you blame him, he will blame you, and you shirk responsibility from each other, as if all the problems are caused by the other person. If you let your relatives and friends scold him, he will embarrass you in front of everyone; if you make his cheating public, he will have no scruple to bring a third party to show off his power. No matter what you do, he will fight against you, and no one will have an easy time.

The late stage of infidelity - the indifference period

The mutual harm and death in the confrontation period make you both tired, so the confrontation turns into indifference. He no longer cares about any of your actions, whether you hit, scold or feel angry, he is like a bystander, a spectator, looking at you indifferently. He couldn't make any more trouble, so he chose to give up. Since you have embarrassed each other, you might as well let it go. He will propose a divorce calmly, and you will know from his tone and the look in his eyes that he is serious this time.

You tried your best to pull him back, but he went further and further in the opposite direction. He said to you "give up"! Your heart also said to you "give up"! You thought that this time it was really over, so you wandered on the roadside of giving up, began to gradually lose confidence and hope, and gave up on marriage. . A man goes from the initial guilt of cheating to the final indifference of divorce. This is the final outcome for most people.

Faced with this tragic ending, 99% of people will draw a conclusion: there are only 0 or countless cheating times. Once a man cheats, it is impossible to really look back. If anyone dares to question this conclusion, these first wives who have seen a glimmer of hope will immediately jump out and refute: My husband also returned back then, but he continued to cheat on me and filed for divorce. Can my personal experience be fake? Yes, personal experience can also be fake.

Infatuation, disagreement, contradiction, and disintegration in marriage have their own underlying logic, which is not based on personal will, nor does it follow the principle of the minority obeying the majority. In other words, even if 99% of people come to the conclusion that there is no way to save a man if he cheats because of their own personal experience, it only means that these 99% of people are all wrong. Their experience is true, but they The experience summarized from this is false.

Faced with major setbacks in life, faced with the marriage and family that you most want to protect deep in your heart, are you sure you want to listen to the false experiences that people who have experienced it take for granted? Even if you pay the price of missing the opportunity to redeem yourself. No matter what? The truth is always obscured. Even if you are lucky enough to see it, it is very likely that you will choose to numb yourself and turn a blind eye because it does not match the imagination of it in your mind. The truth is, cheating is the result of marital problems, not the cause. Therefore, whether you can make a cheating man come back does not depend on him, but entirely depends on your coping strategy when facing a crisis.

In other words, if your actions to protect your marriage fail, your husband, who originally felt guilty and took the initiative to return, cheats on you again, or even files for divorce from you. We can only draw one conclusion from this: In the face of this marriage crisis and the provocation of a third party, you made a serious strategic mistake. These mistakes caused you to lose the opportunity to redeem yourself. It was not because the man was too bad, nor because the third party was too high-ranking. It was because you had forced away the person you loved most step by step.

At this moment, this conclusion may shock you beyond measure, but fortunately, you have read this article and you already know that acting based on your feelings will most likely make the relationship worse. The only way to do this is to seek help from a professional Only when an organization provides you with professional guidance can you be able to compete with third parties and prevent you from making strategic mistakes again and again.

In the face of our husband’s cheating, we must do the right thing in order to win back our husband. Have you learned how to win back your cheating husband now? Don’t feel that you have missed the opportunity to win back, and nothing you do will help. As long as you realize your previous mistakes and are willing to seek the help of authoritative emotional experts and contact senior supervisors, we will help you reverse the situation in time and teach you the secret method to repel the third party, so that you and your husband can have a better relationship. Misunderstandings and even resentments were resolved one by one. He will kick away the third party without hesitation and fall in love with you again, even more than before. Don't hesitate any longer, there is really a shortcut to saving your marriage and separating from the third party, and choosing us is your shortcut.