Three jokes by Lao Mohei

On the weekend, just after Zhang Yali got home, she saw a little girl of seven or eight years old sitting on the steps of her house, bowing her head and wiping her tears.

Zhang Yali stepped forward and asked, "Kid, whose child are you? Why are you sitting here crying? "

The little girl looked up at her with tears and said, "I'm not from here." My mother wouldn't buy me toys, so I quarreled with her, and then I ran away from home in a rage and secretly came here by train. I haven't eaten for several days! "

Zhang Yali's heart softened, so he brought the little girl into the house, gave her a bath and made something for her to eat.

The little girl said gratefully, "Aunt, that's very kind of you! How about I live with you? "

Zhang Yali said, "How is that possible? If your mother can't see you, she will be worried to death. You'd better hurry home! "

The little girl said, "but how can I go back alone?" Can you take me home? "

Zhang Yali asked the little girl's home address. Hearing this, it happened to be her hometown. She thought it was very good. Not only did she do a good deed, but she could also go home by the way, so she agreed.

Along the way, the little girl followed Zhang Yali closely. Zhang Yali is also afraid that the little girl will get lost again and has been guarding her.

My hometown is here.

The little girl said, "Aunt, I will go to your house to play with you first, and then you will take me home."

Zhang Yali took the little girl home. On entering the room, she found many relatives sitting at home. What's more frightening is that there is a picture of her with black gauze and white flowers in the middle of the living room. At the bottom of this picture, there is a big empty coffin.

The little girl took Zhang Yali's parents' money and left. A middle-aged man was waiting for her at the door, and the little girl came forward and said, "Master, do you think this is a good idea to drive away the body?"

The middle-aged man smiled and said, "You are really good, then Master will have no food."

Pretend to sacrifice yourself to gain self-confidence

A terrible thing happened in Li Xiaowei's class: two students mysteriously disappeared in class under everyone's eyes. Nobody knows what happened. Rumor has it that these two students have been eaten by ghosts, and there is not even bone residue left! What's more frightening is that this matter is not over yet.

Just now, a notice suddenly appeared on the bulletin board in the classroom, which read: Tomorrow's menu, Li Xiaowei, Zhou Jia.

There is also a strange skull smiling face painted on the notice.

Everyone is talking about it, and I can't guess who is so bold, so terrible things have happened, and I still have the heart to joke. But Li Xiaowei thought it was not a prank, it was a warning from the ghost. Tomorrow, I will be eaten by ghosts with Zhou Jia. what can I do?

He found Zhou Jia quietly, but Zhou Jia looked indifferent.

Li Xiaowei said, "Aren't you afraid of being really eaten by ghosts tomorrow?"

Zhou Jia said: "Don't be afraid, I already have a countermeasure."

Li Xiaowei asked curiously, "What are your countermeasures?"

Zhou Jia said: "Look at a classmate's class score, I will give you three words: risk." Say that finish, Zhou Jia left Li Xiaowei.

In class the next day, a classmate asked Zhou Jia, "Why don't you run away?"

Zhou Jia replied disdainfully, "If the ghost really wants to eat you, where can you escape?"

Halfway through the class, there was a scream in the classroom, and Li Xiaowei and Zhou Jia disappeared immediately. It turns out that a group of ghosts really tied Zhou Jia and Li Xiaowei up and took them away.

These ghosts take them to a secluded place and bite them when they drop their mouths. Suddenly, the ghost who bit Zhou Jia cried in pain, "This man is too bitter to eat!" "

The ghost who bit Li Xiaowei said, "It doesn't matter. Let's eat this together! "

Li Xiaowei looked at Zhou Jia in despair and asked, "What kind of risk are you taking? I twisted gall, bitter gourd, bitter vegetable and Huang Lian into juice, smeared it all over my body and turned myself into bitter meat. How useless? "

Zhou Jia said, "Material suffering is not painful, but spiritual suffering is the real suffering. My plan is simple. I just fell in love. Haven't you heard of it? A lovelorn person is the most bitter person in the world. "

shake

Evonne has been very happy since he learned to use the shake function of WeChat. As long as he is free, he will shake WeChat, find people around him who are also using WeChat shake function at the moment, and start chatting. Through a shake, his circle of friends has expanded a lot, like-minded people do business together, and people with the same hobbies travel together. His girlfriend is also a shake. First we chatted on WeChat, then we met on a date. After getting along for a while, we were satisfied with each other, so his girlfriend took him home to meet his parents.

He went to see his girlfriend's parents with gifts. The two old people were very enthusiastic about him and looked satisfied after asking about him. He thought it was basically done. Unexpectedly, the next night, he was getting ready for bed at home when his girlfriend called.

"My mother is against us getting along."

He was anxious and asked, "Why?"

The girlfriend said, "My mother said you were all right, but there was a problem. No matter standing or sitting, you should shake your legs from time to time, like a hooligan. How ugly! "

Evonne wronged tunnel: "I didn't!" As soon as the words were finished, he found that one of his legs was constantly shaking at the moment.

Hung up the phone, Zhao Jiyi * * * sat on the bed and suddenly became silly. When did you start shaking your legs? Before, he had only seen that kind of rascally hooligans shake their legs in movies or on the street, and he had never done it himself!

He made some phone calls at once.

"Mom, have you ever seen me shake my legs while standing or sitting?"

"Old classmate, have you ever seen me sometimes shake my legs like a rogue?"

"Brother, do you think I have any behavior that makes people feel that I am not a decent person?"

After everyone got a negative answer, he was even more depressed.

At this time, he found that his legs began to tremble unconsciously again. He looked down and was scared to death: a kid with red hair and blue eyes was squinting, holding his leg with a sly smile and shaking. With a scream, he jumped up to get rid of the child and shouted, "What are you doing?"

The child sat on the ground, picking his nose and saying, "I'm playing." Hell has developed a new game. As long as you shake people's legs, you can find that you are also playing this kind of shaking ghost friends around you. "

Ask for a debt

At the crossroads, Li You anxiously shouted into the phone: "Dad, have you arrived?" ? Hurry up! "

I looked at him and sneered twice. I said, play, you play! No matter how you play, if you don't pay me back today, I won't let you go!

Li, put the phone down and stand at me with a bitter face. I turned to ignore him, crossed my hands on my chest and made a gesture of protracted war.

Li You walked back and forth anxiously for two laps. Sure enough, he couldn't bear it and dialed the phone: "Dad, have you arrived yet?" What, the wrong way? Didn't I tell you, there is a big archway at the door. There is a yellow road after you go in. Go along this road, there is a bridge in front, and the word "helpless" is written on the bridge. "

I was shocked: ecliptic? Naiheqiao? Is his father on his way to hell? Liar! I don't believe it. Are you trying to scare me? No way!

Li You continued: "After crossing the bridge, you can see many tombstones. It's in East Zone 4, Building 91Row 9. When we get there, burn money quickly, quickly! People are blocking me for money! "

My heart is shocked again: tombstone, cemetery, burning money, is this Li You a ghost?

I secretly looked at him: ruddy face, shiny face, popular figure, figure under his feet, obviously a big living person, a good brother, a unique skill, and even dressed as a ghost to avoid debt. What a pity! You don't scare me! It's no use pretending to be terrible unless you pay back the money you owe me today!

I walked up to him, grabbed his collar and shouted, "Stop procrastinating and pay back the money!" " "

I saw his legs shaking, kneeling on the ground and kowtowing to me like garlic. Suddenly, countless bills floated in the air and piled up into a hill in front of me.

Li You cried, "big brother, I really didn't lie to you. Look, the money is still there! "

I picked up the money and saw that it was all mingbi! I pointed at him angrily and scolded, "How dare you fool me with this paper money?" ! "

Who knows, he said with a look of grievance: "Big Brother, even if I give you real money, you can't use it!"