25 cramp jokes.

1. In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? "

When I have a son named Shuai, others will say "handsome dad" when they see me.

Once I borrowed money from a female classmate, and I wanted to say "I'll pay you back when I get the money" and "I'll call you when I have money".

4. I talked about an object, and I want to talk to my ex in the evening. I get angry when I talk about the tenth one. I really can't afford to play. I haven't finished yet. Turning your face is really faster than turning over a book.

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

6. I wanted to see someone say I could leave, but now I can't. I have to report my nucleic acid within 48 hours.

7. A fool actually wanted to trade an apple for my ZTE mobile phone, and I immediately agreed. Then, I gave him my mobile phone, and he took out a round and big red Fuji from his bag and gave it to me!

8. A buddy gets married and gives a red envelope. My buddy said politely that I don't need to say: that won't work, once a year, you must bring it.

9. Generally, ugly people have better photos than themselves; The photos of good-looking people are not as good as one-tenth of their own.

10, when we were young, we were all very happy, because at that time, we were ugly and poor.

1 1, I don't accept long-distance relationships, I only accept 2km, and old Beijing cloth shoes will be stuck!

12, the second-rate wife always thinks my brother is ugly. Today, she deliberately teased: relatives, friends, sisters and classmates all said that my son looks like me. Oh, my brother said, if he looks like Lao Wang next door, will you be happy?

13. When I was a child, my mother taught me how to use chopsticks. After a long time, she beat me Now that I'm grown up, I teach my mother how to use a mobile phone. After a long time, she still couldn't beat me.

14. The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him, "Little darling!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

15, you must save money well this month, go to bed early and get up early, and have nothing to run. By the way, I have to change my bad temper. If not, send it again next month.

16, I turned down three more boys. I am really an excellent woman. Looking at their distant backs, I feel a little lonely. I can only say sorry silently. I really can't afford your real estate, insurance and wealth management products.

17, true love needs to wait. Everyone can say that they love you, but not everyone can wait for you.

18, money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card.

19, when I was a child, my father watched me write a composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. The father smiled and said to his mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!"

20.what are you doing? Lie at home for a day and go out to meet someone! Have you forgotten what the math teacher taught you? Don't be empty if you are wrong.

2 1, decades later, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, and send them to the countryside to make fertilizer together.

22. There was a gas leak at home, and I suddenly remembered what the teacher said. I had to calm down when I was in danger, so I took several deep breaths to ease my mood, and I was poisoned by gas.

23, people who love to laugh are not too bad luck. To tell the truth, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

24. I feel sick. It's best not to search online. Every time I finish searching, I will draw up my will first.

25. Do you think rich people are happy? Wrong, their happiness, you simply can't imagine.