Does anyone have any funny and humorous text messages?

1. If you come to my house one day, I will definitely pull you to my room, press you on the bed, hide in the quilt, turn off the light, hold you tight, and then tell you quietly : Look at my watch, it’s luminous.

2. Urgent reminder: There may be thunder and lightning in recent days. When going out, please put your mobile phone on your head and plug in the charger and drag it behind you for lightning protection. Remember!

3. Yesterday I dreamed that God said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I want to make this person beautiful. , he thought for a moment and said: Let me take a look at the globe!

4. You and I are both single-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to the world just to find you. I went through all the troubles to find you but found: Damn, our wings are the same. On the side!

5. The son walked up to his mother and said: I know everything. Mom took out twenty yuan and said: Don't tell your dad. The son walked up to his father and said: I know everything. Dad took out fifty yuan and said: Don't tell your mother. The son walked up to the neighbor's uncle again and said: I know everything. The uncle said with tears in his eyes: Son, come here and let dad hug you!

6. An old man picking up rags heard a couple arguing upstairs. After a while, he threw down a pillow. The old man was very happy. After a while, he threw down another mattress, and then another. Under the quilt, the old man shouted with tears: Brother, please do a good job and throw that woman down too!

7. The priest was playing golf and missed his first shot. The priest cursed: Damn it, you hit it wrong. The nun on the side said: If you, as a priest, say bad words, God will punish you. He missed the second shot again and cursed again: Damn it, he hit it crookedly again. A thunder struck the nun to death, and God's old voice came from the sky: Damn it, I was hit crooked too!

8. The elephant was taking a bath in the swimming pool. The ant ran over angrily and said: "Elephant, come up here." The elephant came up and asked what happened? Ant said: It's okay. I can't find my swimming trunks. Let's see if you took them.

9. That day I looked at your sexy body longingly, twisting naked in front of me, gently touching your skin. I couldn’t resist your temptation: Boss, I want this. fish!

10. Brother, stop touching me! If you touch the top and bottom, the hair will fall off. Such tender skin will bleed when you touch it! How do you want me to sell it in the future? These peaches are all fresh, just forget it if you don’t want to buy them!

Hey, I spent a lot of effort to find this for you.