My boyfriend always doesn't reply to my messages in time. I am particularly angry. What should I do?

When listening to such a question at ordinary times, what everyone generally thinks is:

As long as her boyfriend answers the message in time, she won't get angry.

So the question becomes: how can I get my boyfriend to reply to my message in time?

Let's think about the corresponding solutions.

L In order to reply to the message in time, the boyfriend needs to stay on the mobile phone for 24 hours.

L Boyfriends can't do other things, such as work and going out.

L Boyfriend can't leave his mobile phone, even if he is eating, he should sleep with his eyes open, otherwise the reply may be delayed.

l ……

Theoretically, such a solution can meet the requirement of a girl's "boyfriend responding to information in time", but it doesn't rule out that she didn't see or hear when she fell asleep, nor does it rule out that she may take a shower to cook or accidentally miss it.

Make the best assumptions. If the boyfriend really replies in time, is this the result that the girl wants?

In order to reply the information in time, the price paid by the boyfriend is: no work, no study, no socializing, …

In order to reply the information in time, the boyfriend became unemployed, unemployed, independent and economical. Is such a boyfriend what you expect?

Surely not?

Let's go back to the beginning of the question: I am particularly angry that my boyfriend didn't reply to my message in time.

In this issue, it seems that the direct cause of girls' anger is that their boyfriends don't reply to information in time, but through the above argument, we can clearly see that this is not the real reason for girls' anger.

What we really need to explore is: why are you angry because your boyfriend didn't reply to the message in time?

What are you really angry about?

Failure to reply to the information in time is actually just a fuse. Events themselves do not lead to emotions. What causes our emotions is our cognition of this matter.

If you don't reply to the message in time, I think you don't value me, respect me and love me. This is why I am really angry.

If you love me, you should reply to my message in time.

This knowledge is deeply rooted in your heart as the philosophy and truth you handle for others. If the other party doesn't express it in the "correct way" you expect, it will break the script that you have been expecting for a long time, thus arousing your anger.

In fact, we also know that the other person is just an imperfect ordinary person with shortcomings. Maybe his expression of love doesn't fit your script, but he does love you.

So it's not the thing itself that makes us angry, but our cognition of it that leads to our emotions. Improving our cognition, constantly correcting and improving our cognition are positive ways to improve our mood.