Humorous jokes are sent to husbands

Humorous jokes are sent to husbands, and the dull marriage life also needs some humor adjustment. Occasionally telling some humorous jokes not only improves the interest, but also brings us closer together. So what humorous jokes are suitable for sending to husbands? Next, I will share with you a humorous joke sent to my husband.

Send humorous jokes to your husband 1 1, and you are working again! I told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health, but you always said meaningfully: It's warm, so I won't roll more dung balls. What shall I eat in winter?

2, the woman is ugly, can't marry, and hopes to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

I like to get to the bottom of it since I was a child. I want to be a detective when I grow up. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? ""I like playing since I was a child. When I grow up, I want to go shopping with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor. "

4. A woman cried to a friend: After her husband died, she only left me 30 million! The friend was surprised: should you be happy? The woman explained that 30 million yuan is: never take good care of children/never be filial to parents/never remarry.

5. I dreamed yesterday that God said I could grant a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to look good. On reflection, he said that I would take another look at the globe.

6. Two birds, A and B, saw a hunter aiming at them. A said to B: "Pay attention to protect the scene, I will call the police!

7. A group of fireflies are flying in the air. One of them didn't shine, and the other asked him curiously, "Dude, why don't you shine?" The firefly said, "Well, I forgot to pay the electricity bill last month!" "

8. I want to be with you, and no one can stop me; I am yellow here, I am so crazy; I will do it when it is yellow. I'm so cool.

I want to introduce you to the best machine of this century: it can generate a lot of money, and it also has the functions of cleaning, cooking and washing … that is me. Marry me.

10, I decided to have a finger-to-finger marriage with you ... pointing to your belly, I said to your parents: Dad, Mom, we are getting married.

1 1, I'm a little vulgar, a little strange, a little boring and a little cute! A little lazy, a little bad, a little smart, a little rogue! Say rogue is rogue, slick love! You want to love me, then love me.

12, Devil: God, can I be reincarnated? God: Yes. Demon: I don't want to be a demon anymore. I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. God: Well, you can be reborn as a nurse.

13 Please read aloud ":Lie like plum blossom, lie like deep well ice, lie like spring green, lie like wood and bamboo. "hello? You got it?

14. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious, so they hide to see the chickens. Silly chicken didn't pay attention, secretly looking at his mobile phone.

15. The children are talking about their pets. My grandpa's myna can talk. B: The Persian cat my mother bought can stand upside down. C: My father keeps a fox outside and quarrels at home every day!

16, chicken, don't be angry, I'll take you to buy a mobile phone tomorrow. Don't be naughty when buying a mobile phone. Send me messages every day.

17, a woman accidentally put a shrimp in her lower body and went to see a doctor. The doctor said, I can't take it out. Let me mash it into shrimp paste for you (do you understand)

18, a: "Why do you catch the lice on your head, and the lice on your head catch you instead of killing you?" B: "I want them to be acclimatized and tortured to death!" " A: "Ah ..."

19, a reporter sent back a report of train collision to the newspaper. At the beginning, it says: God cried when he saw this tragic scene. The editor immediately called back: "Forget the crash and interview God at once."

20. Marriage is called network access, bigamy is called double number card, extramarital affairs is called call transfer, and many couples are called Monternet. Divorce is called cancellation number, separation is called shutdown number, remarriage is called remarriage, woman remarriage is called transfer, and man remarriage is called replacement card.

2 1, pigs chase sheep and sheep climb trees. Do you know why? (Please don't look back in a hurry) ... Look! This pig is thinking, too

22. It's raining continuously today, which can't bring you romance. I can't bear to be sad because of your regret. I swear to take you to the lawn when the weather is fine and eat the most delicious bones!

23. You mean you are a rogue, pulling my belt every day; You are shameless and shy, kissing my mouth and face every day; You hate being bored, and you've been following me for five or six years. Spend so much hard-earned money, damn mobile phone!

24. Wukong became the protagonist of the Dragon Ball, and Wukong became the spokesman of contradiction. As for Pig Bajie, I heard that he is reading short messages.

25. A couple took a nursing child to a restaurant for dinner. The child cried and the woman quickly undressed. The waiter stopped, and the woman was furious: Can't this work? The waiter said: it is ok to show your chest, but you can't bring your own drinks.

Send humorous jokes to husband 2 1. My husband is going to a party with friends.

The wife said, "Take me with you!"

The husband said, "We agreed not to take a wife!"

Wife: "then say I am your mistress, so I can give you a long face!" "

The company sent me on a business trip and will come back in a week. My husband who stayed at home for a few days said to me, "Wife, I found that I can't live without you." I listened, and it was very useful. I feel that my husband has been a monk for a few days, and I can't hold on. While I was daydreaming. He added, "Mosquitoes bite me when you are not at home." Oh, it really pissed me off. I dreamed for a while in vain. ……

Bai Wen hilarious classic jokes daquan.

3. When the son entered the door, he asked his father, "Dad, do I have two mothers?"

Hearing this, the wife rushed out and slapped her husband seven or eight times in the face: "Tell me which fox you have outside!" "

The husband has a blank face. ...

The son said, "Last time I heard my mother calling' husband' to another man in the bedroom, I thought that since I had two fathers, I must have two mothers."

More than a year ago, my husband was introduced to marry me because his ex-wife could not have children. Not long ago, I watched TV with my pregnant husband. Suddenly, my husband's phone rang. That's his ex-wife: "I'm pregnant …" My husband replied: "Don't try to blame me. We have been divorced for a year, and it is definitely not mine. " Ex-wife: "I know, I just want to tell you that you have a problem." My husband silently looked back at me with a big belly.

Two girlfriends are discussing their marriage.

A curiously asked B: "How can I master the financial power at home?"

B said, "I told my husband that I would take care of the money and he would take care of me, so that he could have both money and people."

6. When I return to my husband's family in the New Year, my husband and aunt educate my son: You are too old. Find someone to marry. Then pointed to my husband: Look at your brother, a graduate student, with a higher education than you, and got married without much choice. I'm listening, fucking lady. ...

7. The wife asked her husband, "Tell me, do I look like a 40-year-old woman?"

The husband said, "No."

The wife was very happy and asked, "Really?"

The husband said, "Yes, not now, but before."

8. Once, my husband and I quarreled, and he scolded me: "Pig!" I scolded him: "You are the husband of a pig!" " "I really feel like a pig after scolding.

9. Husband: "Why did you give that beggar so much money? Can't you see that he is pretending to be blind? "

Wife: "didn't you hear him call me a beautiful and kind lady?"

Husband: "Then he is really blind!" "

10, my wife turned over and said to her husband, "I can't sleep."

The husband asked, "What are you thinking?"

The wife said, "Yes!"

The husband asked again, "Tell me and I will help you."

The wife took her husband's hand and said sweetly, "It is said that there are three meals a day. I have eaten three meals today, but. "

1 1. One day, my husband told his wife: I had a nightmare last night.

Wife: What dream?

Husband: I dreamed of opening a room with a beautiful woman.

Wife: It's also called a nightmare. You can't wait, can you?

Husband: The problem is that you found out later.

12, my husband got scapulohumeral periarthritis and twisted his teeth, so he asked his wife to massage him. The wife said, "Sir, do you want Chinese style or Korean Thai style?"

The husband was happy and quipped, "What are the massage methods?"

The wife smiled grimly: "Twist with your hands, hit with your fists, and kick with your feet."

Bai Wen hilarious classic jokes daquan.

Wife: Wait, did you take a shower? Husband: Who dares to take a bath in such a cold day? Wife: I don't care. Don't go to bed without a bath ... Husband: Really? Great ... Wife: You damn fool, go to sleep ... Husband: Sleep what? I didn't take a shower! Wife: Forget it. If you want to rush, don't rush if you don't want to. Anyway, you must sleep with my mother ... Husband: What, you're not afraid of getting dirty? Wife: I'm afraid of dirt, but I'm more afraid of rust. ...

14, ex-girlfriend, especially unreliable, she cheated me. Cut off her husband's.

Suddenly wechat me and said to help me find a blind date. Although it feels awkward, it is not easy to brush people's kindness. So I went.

But, can you imagine? The embarrassment of two men sitting at the same table ... I even have a lily in my hand.

Forget it, break her glass tonight! ……

15, my husband is an idiot. Yesterday, my husband and I went to the supermarket to buy some fruits. I said if I don't want to buy anything, forget it. At this time, my husband said, buy something with long hair and mildew. I looked puzzled and saw my husband holding kiwi fruit excitedly. Emma, it's not moldy and hairy.

16, my husband watched TV in the back room after dinner yesterday.

I was washing dishes, and one of the bowls cracked. I didn't pay attention, so I scratched my hand at once.

I raised my bleeding finger and went into the back room to show it to my husband.

The goods looked at it, looking for a band-aid and muttering, "What's the matter, isn't the detergent used harmless?"

17, my colleague's husband got drunk and went home to climb on the bed to vomit.

Because my colleague is a woman and is too weak to help, I grabbed my husband's hair and raised my head to wipe his face. My colleague's child is 6 years old, and he says to his colleague with distress: Mom, be careful … don't kill dad …

18, my husband looked at garlic and asked: Is this green onion?

Me: Yes.

Then he pointed to the leek and asked, what is this?

Husband: Onions.

Me: Yes.

Finally, pointing to the real onion, I asked: What about this?

Husband: (It's depressing to think about it) I don't know.

Then I burst into laughter and asked me what you were laughing at ... Oh, my God, are you an alien ... At least I know one of onions, garlic and leeks, but now I don't know any of them.

19, my best friend's husband had a little car accident on the way to take delivery. After receiving the news, she insisted that I accompany her to the hospital. After rushing to the hospital to see the injured husband, my girlfriend burst into tears.

Her husband smiled and comforted: "Oh, don't cry, the test results have come out, no problem, very good, I promise I can do it at night."

She immediately burst into tears and smiled. ...

20, my buddy and girlfriend have been in love for two years, so it's time to talk about marriage. My girlfriend said that the family didn't agree.

My buddy has a straight temper. Today, he proposed with something and was beaten black and blue.

I wonder, if I don't agree, I don't agree. Why did I hit someone? Later I learned that I was beaten by my husband.