A little joke about reading

q: who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? A: Take the fall for wearing a green hat

and watch others have sex.

q: who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? A: Take the fall for wearing a green hat

and watch others have sex.

tomorrow, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you, which says: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Your face is so thick that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I committed suicide.

On the street, a beautiful young lady said to me, "One hundred yuan is not the kind of person you think, 2 yuan is your person tonight, 3 yuan is your night, don't treat me like a person, 4 yuan is how many people you want to take tonight, and 5 yuan is my night!"

The white rabbit fled after defeating the gray wolf J. The wolf was indignant and chased him. The rabbit dressed up as a gray rabbit and read the newspaper with glasses. The wolf asked, Can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit that is strong J Wolf? Wolf shame: I'm KAO, so soon?

Eight don't understand: you don't drink the toast of the leader, you touch the leader first, the leader walks by car, the leader talks long, the leader talks nonsense, the leader takes a shower, you turn the table, and the leader listens to the cards and you touch yourself.

A man and a woman named xj, after entering, lay motionless on the woman's body and said gently: We are connected now, and the woman is a little unhappy. The man violently attacked, and the woman shouted loudly: Mobile is better than China Unicom!

seeing the princess's sad face, the emperor called the imperial doctor. The prescription was eight strong men. A few days later, the emperor went out to the palace. When he saw the princess radiant, he was overjoyed. Suddenly, he saw eight thin men standing in front of the palace. He was surprised and asked, Who is it? The physician answered: dregs!

donor: hello! We are the Tibetan Buddhist Council. When you received this message, we have deducted the donation from your mobile phone fee. In order to thank you, this Council awarded you the supreme legal number-mentally retarded

A child in the delivery room laughed after birth. The midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around and observed, she found that the child's fist was tight. After breaking it, she found a contraceptive pill, and only listened to the baby laughing: "... trying to kill me." The man said, "Is it as big as steamed bread?" The woman said yes! On the night of the bridal chamber, the man rushed out of the bridal chamber, kneeling to the sky and shouting, "Oh, my God, Wangzai little steamed bread!"

There is an old bear on the mountain, and you want to catch it. In the first battle, you were defeated by bear J, feeling ashamed and angry. Take a few days off, fight and lose again, and then be j. After his recovery, he went back. When the bear saw you, he laughed wildly: "Are you here to hunt or sell silver?"

A man took off his clothes and showed his girlfriend his biceps, saying, "Is this a good idea?"? Then he took off his pants and pointed to his thigh and said, This is equivalent to 1 kilograms of explosives. Then he took off his underwear, and his girlfriend ran for the door and exclaimed, Oh, my God! The lead is so short!

A beautiful woman was in a hurry, and she urinated on the roadside grass. When there was no paper, she wiped it with leaves. The leaves were prickly, and * * was very painful. The beautiful woman said to * *, "Eating meat all day, I can't stand eating green vegetables today!" .

A reporter interviewed 1 penguins about what they do in a day. The first one said: eat, sleep and fight peas. The second one said: eat, sleep and fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them all the time. When I asked the 1th one, I said: Eat and sleep. The reporter asked: Why don't you fight peas? Penguin said: I am Doudou, and you ...

An 18-year-old girl should tell a story to make her sleep, an 18-year-old girl should tell a story to trick her into sleeping with you, a 28-year-old girl will sleep with you automatically without telling a story, and a 38-year-old girl will tell a story to trick you into sleeping with her.

Here is a humorous message

When you smile, wolves hang themselves. Your sigh. Cats run around. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. You are uglier than a ghost if you don't dress up. When you dress up, you paralyze the ghost!

You can reflect people's shortcomings better than the mirror, more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi, and more resourceful than the grandson, so everyone affectionately calls you "the grandson of the mirror village"

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

You attended the ball game that day, and you only scored a volley. Before the goalkeeper could react, the goal was scored! We all applauded and cheered for you. You got up and clapped. The stock said, ... The ground is too slippery!

The teacher punishes the students to kneel, and asks the students to get up before they get up. The first part is: Today, students knock their heads on the ground. The student thinks a little and says, Last night, Jenny's feet were in the air!

A recruit is practicing lurking in a tree. Two squirrels climbed up along his trouser legs, and only one of them said, Boss, here are two big walnuts. Let's eat them!

The words "No defecation anywhere, offenders will be fined" written on the wall can be repeatedly banned, but it was changed to "No defecation here, offenders will have their tools confiscated" and no one will violate it again.

three mice brag. A: I don't drink rat poison for a day. It bothers me. B: My feet hurt if I don't step on a rat trap for a day. C: I gave the cat a litter!

One day, the greedy dog jumped on the dining table to look for food, and found a roast chicken. When he was about to eat it, the owner suddenly shouted, If you dare to do something to that chicken, I will do something to you! So the puppy licked the chicken stock.

A mosquito stung your left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by the sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you, "Your blood is flowing in my body!"

An unmarried woman lamented: Why do mature men and good men all become husbands, and none of the unmarried men are decent? She was reminded that a wife's cultivation of a good husband is self-produced and self-sold, and no man can learn by himself!

Little Carp asked his mother, What did Dad do? Mother Fish angrily: Hum! I went to court, and the chef who got a thousand dollars invited me to take a sauna. Fortunately, my eyes were good and I found it was oil.

When the magpie comes, mom says it's like a bird or a guest. Swallows come, and mother says this is a good bird or a guest; When the crow comes, the child asks, Are you a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

Teacher: "Please make a sentence with a cow!" Health: "A cow!" "good! Can you make another one? " "Another cow!"

At the flag-raising ceremony, the headmaster gave an ideological report: "... I am the son of the people of China." Students below: "I am from China."

Stupid birds have four choices: 1. Stupid birds fly first; 2. Stupid birds fly after; 3. Stupid birds flying around; 4 Stupid birds don't fly-passive, patient, leisurely, and then lay an egg and pin your hopes on the next generation!

Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a line: those who cross the line are animals. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!

A man was poor since childhood, and his mother made underwear out of rice bags and ordered him to wear them on his wedding day. The first time he took off his trousers in the bridal chamber night, his wife immediately fainted, and the front of his underwear was impressively marked: net weight is 3 kg.

One day, an old mouse and a little mouse were wandering in the room, and suddenly a cat appeared in front of them, so they turned and ran, and the cat chased them. Just when they were at the end of their tether, the little mouse running behind shouted at the cat twice: woof, woof, the cat was scared away by these two sounds. The old mouse patted the little mouse on the shoulder and boasted, OK, there will be dogs barking, little mouse.

A woman saw the police shouting at her husband, so she said to the police unhappily, "Please watch your mouth, there is no other person shouting at him except me."

finally connect the 163 network, then set the free 169, and the link prompts you to enter the user name. The service girl told me that the user names are all GUEST. Another insight: on the free 169 Internet, users' names are all "GUEST".

The experiment of replacing silver was going on in the chemistry experiment class of senior high school. A classmate shouted, "Teacher! There is really silver coming out! " Then he said, "Teacher, why don't you sell silver?"

On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to it watched its head fall and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not our own!

Lele: Mom, how did I grow up? My mother felt that the opportunity for education came, so she said, It was my mother who raised me with a handful of excrement and urine. Lele cried: How did you give me those? Whoo!

Mrs. Wang is looking for clothes. She wears a long-lost skirt and looks at herself in the mirror: Oops! Like dumplings! Sir: That's the stuffing, not the leaves.

someone rides a bike to the street, crosses an intersection, and scatters his arms. The traffic police saw it and exclaimed, "Good palm!" Someone waved happily and answered, "Comrades have worked hard!"

On the west side of the city, Zhuge Liang played a song, and the lingering sound made the 15, Wei Jun outside the city fascinated. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you, everyone. Please pay one or two tickets." In a moment, 15, people escaped ...

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hey! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

An old buddy lost his car. When he put a new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: Let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two more locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

Mouse's dream: drag all the cats into the hole and bite them to death. Crow's protest: are we the black ones in the world? Your plan: get a sheepskin and put it on tomorrow.

One night, a naked man called a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and roared: You ... have never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I see where you ... pay for it!