A joke that makes girls happy for a minute.

A joke that makes girls happy for a minute.

Let the girls be happy for a minute. Our lovers' love for us is visible. We should start with some small things to increase our feelings, so that we can better understand each other. Here are some jokes that make girls happy for a minute.

A joke that makes girls happy in one minute 1 1 "Husband, I feel so fat and want to lose weight."

"Don't lose weight, now use your ugliness as an excuse."

2. The husband saw the clothes in the closet and said to his wife, "Women are animals who love the new and hate the old."

The wife immediately retorted: "Who said that, we are also very nostalgic."

The husband asked, "What do you miss?"

The wife said, "Age!"

3. A boyfriend and girlfriend fell in love on a park bench. The woman suddenly wants to fart.

Say to the man: I am a cereal bird, do you listen to it?

Men are really willing to listen.

So, under the cover of "goo goo" birdsong, the woman happily farted.

W: Does it sound like a cuckoo?

Man: What a fart! I didn't catch it!

4. Just seeing my classmate's help, Weibo growled: Help me see what to do if my hand is stuck by 502!

The middle finger and thumb stick together, and I am Guanyin now!

5. The painter Xu Beihong is famous for drawing horses. The horses in his works are vigorous, with different postures, or gallop, or look back and scream, or gallop.

With the maturity of the creative stage, his later works are mainly pastoral, villagers and children, without traces of horses, because he finally realized the artistic essence of "no horse is king".

6. When attending a friend's wedding, the groom said affectionately to his parents-in-law: Mom and Dad, don't worry, I will treat her well and take good care of her like a brother and sister.

7. Several monks are responsible for cleaning the clothes of the whole Shaolin Temple. The abbot often says to them, "As long as you are willing to work hard, laundry can also be overhauled."

Other monks are getting tired. Only Feng Ming, a young monk, always remembers the abbot's instruction and washes every piece of clothes carefully.

Finally, one day, many things happened and the abbot promoted him to be the deacon of the First Hospital.

Feng Ming found some long hairs in the abbot's cassock.

8. My wife said to me, "Who said,' Is yours mine, mine or mine?' This is simply contempt for family harmony.

Dear, please rest assured that in our family, without Wu Zetian and Cixi, we will always be equal: the housework is yours and the TV remote control is mine; The loan card is yours and the salary card is mine ... "

9. Wife: What if we die and go to hell?

Husband: I will pray to God that you will go to heaven. I'm alone in hell!

Wife: You have a conscience!

Husband: I'm afraid we're both in hell and married. For me, that's the real hell.

A joke that amuses girls.

1. I flew a few days ago and found a beautiful woman sitting next to me. According to the principle of chatting up, I blurted out, "Where did you get off?"

2. I cooked porridge with a rice cooker in the dormitory last night. Suddenly my roommate rushed into the dormitory and said, "No, the hospital leader led a team to check the illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory." It's already next door. What should I do with the pot? " In desperation, I hid the pot directly under the bed. When the teacher came, he said, "Well, I can still trust Xiao Lei, so I won't look at your locker." I was secretly glad, but the teacher went on to say, "See if you use an electric blanket." As a result, I was recorded

3, the cat pounced on someone, a new girlfriend, and wanted to visit her home. Knowing that his mouth was swearing, his girlfriend repeatedly told me not to talk nonsense, and some people readily agreed. After the meeting, someone responded freely without saying anything, and his girlfriend's parents were very satisfied. After dinner, in the cold winter, my girlfriend's parents insisted on sending each other to the side of the road. Some people are very touched and their brains are hot. He blurted out, "Uncle, don't see me off. Go back quickly. Look at that!"

4. Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in Internet cafes. I have been busy all night. Why do you want to delete CS? Actually, the cause is this. The public security bureau made a temporary inspection today. I got wind of it before. For several days in a row, I became a street sweeper, driving all creatures under the age of 18 out of the Internet cafe. So when the police uncles came from afar, my boss and I were not nervous.

However, it is a pity. When the police uncles just stepped into the door of the Internet cafe, a group of people playing CS in the Internet cafe shouted excitedly: "The police are coming! The police are coming! The police are in the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Kill them! " Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncle's face was green, but my boss and I were horribly green.

She has a mobile phone and a PHS. One day, she changed a new mobile phone card. A colleague asked her what her new number was. She said she forgot, so she dialed her PHS with her changed mobile phone. While dialing, I continued to chat with my colleagues. After PHS rang, she picked it up and asked, "Hey … Hey … Talk, I'll hang up if you don't talk!" " "All the colleagues present were stunned. Then she hung up the phone and said, "Psycho, don't talk on the phone. "

6. A brother went to the toilet and ended up in the ladies' room by mistake. When I went in, I found that there was no urinal, and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the toilet. He walked out casually. When I was opening the door, I met a MM who came in. Face to face with him, blushed, lowered his head and turned to drill in the men's room. ...

The hunter saw a bird in the sky, fired three shots and missed, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird didn't hit the neutron bomb and patted its chest and said, "Scared to death, scared to death!" "

8. One night I passed the cemetery and saw a fire, thinking it was a ghost fire. Then he threw a brick and the fire moved to another grave. The man still threw another brick, and he heard, "Shit! You can't even shit. You will get two bricks when you smoke. "

9. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and making a hug. He stepped forward with a foot. The man fell to the ground and cried, "it's the third piece." Who did I piss off? Is it so difficult to take a piece of glass home? "

10, the girl is sitting on a stool. When she got up, a person saw the girl's skirt stuffed in her ass and reached out and pulled it out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said indignantly, "Count me in." Then reach out and shove the skirt back up the girl's ass.

1 1. I once liked a girl, but she didn't like me. She said that the man she likes is the kind that no one dares to get close to when driving on the road. She thinks such a man is domineering. Last month. She is married. As she wished, her husband drove the sprinkler.

12, after the teacher handed out the test paper, he said seriously, "Another student made a mistake in this exam. Let's take a few minutes to ask ourselves' why', and I want an answer later. " A few minutes later, the teacher called a classmate and asked, "What's your answer?" The classmate said innocently, "Teacher, I asked many times, but no one answered."

13, the youngest son dares to fight with others. Once, the son asked his father, did you like fighting when you were a child? Dad said, "I dare not." The son said, "Why?" Dad said, "I can't beat others." The son said, "Then why didn't you call me!" " "

14, the minimum standard for a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring, and a little field.

15, I said you were a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

Jokes that make girls happy in one minute 2 jokes that make girls happy 1

1, my friend has had a dog for eight years, which is deeply touched. The dog suddenly fell ill, spent a lot of money, and died.

Her heart ached for a long time, and I comforted her: "It's also a good thing that the dog left first. Imagine if you leave first, wouldn't the lost dog be even more pitiful! "

My dear girlfriend is pregnant because she already has a son. The baby wants a daughter. Today, she had a B-ultrasound. She is a son. She is on WeChat: seeking comfort.

Me: Don't be sad, maybe he will be very girly in the future!

The fat girl paraded through the city in a short skirt and was ridiculed that her legs were like radishes.

A Dai couldn't stand it any longer, and ran to comfort her: "Radish is not shameful, but it is shameful to have radish whiskers."

4, class reunion, full of emotion. A girl cried: "I am 24 years old this year. I am not ugly and have a good personality. Why don't I have a boyfriend and no one is chasing me? "

The whole audience was silent and there was no way to comfort them. At this time, one or two goods floated leisurely: "That's because you still can't know yourself correctly."

Little jokes and jokes that make girls happy II

1, the best friend in high school is a rich second generation, and the rich people in the family are also kind. His grades are not good, and his brother handed in all the exams. After three years, he cheated his parents, but the college entrance examination was a mess.

Ten years later, I went to his house and had a drink with him. When he mentioned that year, he burst into tears and said, I really regret not studying hard at that time. Now my brothers are all in Beijing and Shanghai. Meet each other late. In this dump in London, no one can drink.

2. Going home by car on holiday, sitting next to me is a beautiful woman like a sister with milk tea.

I've been racking my brains all the way to try to strike up a conversation, but I just don't know how to speak.

It's almost the station, and I'm on pins and needles

At this time, sister paper glanced at me and said, it's almost the stop. Don't worry, there is a toilet at the station.

3. Waiting for the bus at night, because the last bus arrived at the station for almost ten minutes, and worried that there was no car, I asked a woman next to me. She made sure that the bus hadn't arrived yet, so I just stood there waiting for the bus.

One minute, five minutes, ten minutes, I saw a man driving a car and took the woman away. ...

Let me blow the stop sign alone.

There is a barbecue stall at home, and the boss insists on wearing a mask in summer, which is the conscience of the industry.

Often patronize, until one day he chatted with the person who set up the stall next door, only to know that he wore a mask because there was too much dust on the roadside.

Little joke that makes girls happy 3

1, Mom: Did you change boyfriends again?

Daughter: Ah! How did you know?

Mom: Last week, I often heard cuckoo chirping under our window. I suddenly became a frog these days.

2. Be polite and behave appropriately. When traveling, you can open the door and take your luggage. You can remember your favorite dishes the first time you eat them, and you won't feel a little uncomfortable. How is such a man tempered?

Well ... on the whole, they have an elegant mother. Of course, there may be countless ex-girlfriends.

3. Man: "Can you imitate a woodpecker?"

Woman: "How to imitate?"

Man: "Take my face as bark."

A joke that makes girls happy in one minute 3 1. I will not love you forever, nor will I love you until the day you die. I will love you forever until the second I die.

2. I only miss you at any moment in my heart! Love You!

3. Bind you with warm hugs, hold you with infinite thoughts, melt you with real tenderness, stay with you with deep love, love you all your life with X, and have no regrets in this life!

No matter what you think, remember that I love you forever.

Lovely, you stole my love and my heart. I've decided to sue you in court. What should I sentence you to? The judge searched all the criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously passed: I sentence you to be mine for life.

6. The closed heart is finally opened by you, and the narrow space can only accommodate you. You are the only one in my heart, because there is no room for the second person.

7. Although I don't know where you are, I know you will always be in my heart.

8. How nice it would be to meet at this moment!

9. The sky is blue and the ground is wide. My heart is gone. Holding the breeze, scattering acacia, holding the drizzle, complaining for a long time; Thinking of you, thinking of you and looking at you, my heart has already fallen for you! Can you understand my love?

10, don't think about it in the future, okay? I know you are paranoid because you are afraid that we will be separated, that I will not love you one day, and that someone better than you will attract me. Don't be afraid of all this A sea of people. I met you and chose you, because there is only you there, and I love you the most.

1 1. Whenever you need me, I will come at once and do my best for you.

12, I won't allow you to rain without an umbrella. Although women are made of water, they will catch a cold when they are wet, and I will feel distressed!

13, I won't allow you to be jealous and joking. I am too single-minded. If I look at other girls in front of you, I'll chop myself up!

14, I want to be with you all day. As long as you are around, I feel happy. No matter what difficulties I encounter, the sky will always be clear with you.

15, the spring breeze kissed you and you smiled; Rose kisses you, and you are happy; Mosquitoes kiss you and you applaud; I kiss you, you are happy. Hehe, today is Valentine's Day. Kissing you is not negotiable!

16, as long as I am with you, I don't care how much I have to pay.

17, I have never been a woman who taught me so deeply like you.

18, the person who can marry you must be very happy.

19, I won't allow you to be confused, little fool, don't doubt whether I love you or not!

20. I never want to be rich. Being able to walk quietly through all the spring, summer, autumn and winter of my life with the people I love is my only greatest luxury.

2 1, I don't know when to start, I can't live without you.

22, I won't let you drink, not let you drink, drink less, drinking too much will hurt your health!

23. You are the only one for me.

24. I have entered my life and I have been preparing for you all my life.

25. The road of life is very long. Let me go with you. I want to work with you to create a sky that belongs to us.

26, I don't allow you to be the happiest, because with you, I am already the happiest in the world, so you can only rank second!

I'm sorry to hear what you said after you got angry on the phone tonight.

I love you, please believe me, I can't guarantee that I am the best, but I will try my best to do better.

My dream is to realize all your wishes.

I won't allow you to get up earlier than me. Don't talk nonsense, let you sleep, get up and eat my breakfast when you are full!

3 1, I won't allow you to hit me, stop hitting, your hand will hurt, I am very resistant to hitting!

No matter what happens in the future, you are still my favorite person.

I promise you anything.

I love you, please believe me, I can't guarantee that I am the best, but I will try to do better.

35. If you love each other, you must join hands to grow old together. If you miss it, keep him safe.

36. I miss you so much If the breeze is affectionate, please take away my thoughts of you, and I will care about you all my life; If Baiyun is interested, please bring my love to you. I am willing to be with you forever!

See you next time, I will definitely accumulate all my body temperature and give you a warm hug.

38. Through the noise, "I realized that you are the most precious".

39, I was born stubborn, love and hate. So I like you, not on a whim, nor because I don't agree with you.

40. The three happiest words in the world are: together.