Sexy SMS

QQ Symbol Painting Wizard-Humorous SMS Dedication of Hongsong Software Park

Notice: After investigation, you have repeatedly used SMS to spread yellow information. Please surrender to the public security department within three days, otherwise it will be dealt with seriously. Urban anti-cyber crime center.

Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone drastic internal changes due to overload and is about to explode. After reading this tip, please put it in an empty place immediately. ...

On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted, "Stop crowding! "Don't squeeze! Squeeze all the milk! (She is holding yogurt. )

When the horse is coquettish, it jumps, when the donkey is coquettish, it barks, when the man is coquettish, it becomes warped, when the woman is coquettish, it will, and the most coquettish one has been laughing at the mobile phone.

A nun went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound, and the careless nurse gave her a pregnant woman's test sheet. The nun sighed after reading it and said, "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

When reading this message, you already owe me a hug; Delete this message and owe me a kiss; Save this message and owe me an appointment; If you reply, you owe me everything; If you don't reply, you are mine.

I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-Sofa!

The other day, you shook that thing up and down and told you to be light and not too violent, but you just wouldn't listen. It made me sticky and wet ... I told you that champagne would be sprayed.

Are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me. I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you too.

I've always wanted to say something to you, but you know its weight. Once I say it, maybe we can't even be friends, but I can't control my feelings ... when will you invite me to dinner?

Urgent reminder: look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a psychopath who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.

Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please take sabre, shotgun and soil cannon to China People's Bank at 0: 00 sharp tonight.

Miss's four wishes: rich people come to karaoke bars and have countless tips. There is no AIDS in the world, and men ejaculate twice.

If there are girls who don't have sex, they will have sex for heaven. The higher the chest, the more enchanting it is, the smaller the waist, the more stunted it is, and the smaller the figure is.

Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, "How well this muscle is trained! "Soldier: Report Chief, I am a female soldier.

"Is it tight?" "It doesn't matter!" "Can you go in a little more?" "Be careful, it should work!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt! It feels so cool! Just buy this pair. "

I thought about it in my heart. Two pieces are itchy. Stick a stick in the middle. This stick is too short. Two pills don't itch, and I don't want to ... Are you addicted to smoking again?

Men are not bad, a little abnormal; Men are not coquettish, but bastards. Men don't care, they are absolutely nervous; Men are not hooligans, and their development is abnormal.

The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "And 1 pig"? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading short messages"! Hee hee! !

Do n't move Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right. Standing among perverts, talking about you, still reading text messages!

I fell in love with you at first sight, but I don't want to talk to you. I came to see you three times and four times and gave you five roses. Liushen didn't live to see you, so anxious, I can get you, kuya will kill you in nine days, and I will give you up in ten days.

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

A first-class man has a home outside his home, a second-class man has flowers outside his home, a third-class man finds a home among the flowers, a fourth-class man comes home from work, a fifth-class man's wife is not at home, and a sixth-class man has neither a wife nor a home.

The men's and women's toilets in the school are adjacent. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet. She was at a loss when toilet paper was delivered next door. The girl turned pale and asked, "Who is it?" A deep and powerful male voice replied, "Lei Feng!"

Anonymous went to the Arabian Hotel for dinner. He saw that anyone with a big beard didn't have to pay. Just wondering, the boss said, people with beards are policemen. The woman then lifted her skirt and said, "I'm a secret policeman." “

Affectionate is stupid, heartless is the coolest, infatuation is stupid, and heartless knows the world. It's silly to love only one, but love two is the least, three and five are just right, and ten and eight are handsome.

Meeting you is accidental, liking you is natural, falling in love with you is firm, getting you is happy, and staying with you for life is inevitable.

The cricket married the centipede. The next day, the cricket complained: Break one fucking leg, break one, break another, and break it all night!

A village woman was carrying a basket of eggs, and several big men in Lu Yu gang-raped and ran away. The peasant woman got up and patted the dust on her body: that's amazing! I thought it was an egg grab!

A woman will blush five times in her life: the first time; The first time with her husband; Not a husband for the first time; When collecting money for the first time; The first time I paid,

When I rubbed the lamp three times, the lamp god asked me what I wanted to wish for. I said: I want you to take care of a person who is reading a short message for me and wish that person peace and happiness forever.

A bachelor married a wife. When making love, the bachelor said: one gun and two bullets, no war for 27 years. My wife doesn't believe that a temple with two doors didn't enter 7633 in 3 1 year.

The pig is crying sadly. Mother asked: Why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted him: son, don't cry, the person reading this message is more stupid than you!

The first time is too difficult: it really hurts to lie in bed and endure hard insertion in the body, but it doesn't hurt so much after it is completely inserted, and it is quite exciting ... It is glorious to donate blood.

I was nervous for the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he inserted it into my body. There is blood, and I am too painful to speak. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this.

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there were no sun, there would be no light on the moon; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

If your mobile phone is not waterproof, please be careful not to drool on it when reading short messages, it will break down!

Guo Xuwei pig is great. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day. Seeing the snow floating in the sky, he rolled with joy and was out of breath. Where is the pig? Browse short messages.

Everyone is awake and I am drunk alone, and it is most precious to have a heart. I don't regret meeting true feelings and true love, and this life is only for you (the secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

If you are sad, please tell me, and I will help you bear it! If you are happy, you will infect me! If you shed tears, my face will always be wet; If you are sad, it is always my heart that suffers.

Warning: Hello! Because your mobile phone is ugly and outdated, which has seriously affected the appearance of the city, we decided to send a signal to destroy it.

Men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs.

A pair of public toilet couplets: heroes all over the world bow down here; A virtuous woman, a virgin in the world, came in to untie the skirt of bandwidth; Horizontal criticism: the meaning of heaven and earth

A Dai, the groom, knows nothing about men and women. Father said, hit your wife's urine with the hardest thing on you! The next morning, my father found A Dai lying next to the toilet!

The girl bought bananas, put them in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached out to catch them from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: miss, please make way, I'm getting off.

Those who get zero in the exam are called duck eggs, those who do bad things are called bad people, those with empty heads are called idiots, those who are fired are called people who get out of the way, those who swear are called assholes, and those who read text messages are called fools.

Don't let me down, I get letters every day!

Looking at your streamlined body, I want to burn my body, open your unopened seal, insert my own stick and suck your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite

The most striking brother-Viagra; The youngest grandmother-mistress; The most difficult theft to prevent-cheating; The most lively corridor-hair salon; The best-selling book "Female Secretary"

Loving someone is when you suddenly don't know what to say on the phone. I wanted to hear a familiar voice, but what I really wanted to dial was a string in my heart.

May you be happy every day for 365 days a year, 8760 hours forever, 5,256,000 wonderful minutes and 31536,000 seconds.

A farmer asked a veterinarian to raise pigs. The veterinarian said that it seems that artificial farming is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

I wish you in the new year: your career is in full swing, your health is as strong as a tiger's wings, your money is countless, your work is not hard, your leisure is like a mouse, your romance is like joy, and happiness belongs to you.

Men are lewd and brave. Women are coquettish and noble. Men don't care, it's just a hollow reputation. Women are not coquettish, and their grades are not high.

When Comrade Lao Jiao went abroad for the first time, customs officer: Is his surname Jiao? Lao Jiao thought about it, and finally answered in a firm tone: Sexual intercourse, about twice a week!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at MINUS 20 degrees. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either! Ha ha! !

Mystery: eunuchs used to have it, but not after entering the palace; Monks do, but no, foreigners are longer than China people. Hit someone? Wrong-it's a name!

Anonymous told Fortune. Fortune teller: Miss, be careful recently! Because you have a bad omen! W: Would it be better if I took off my bra?

I will never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. If I forget you, I can't study. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Please call 1 10 for free, and you can win a 15-day value-added tour and arrange a shuttle bus. The top ten people will be sent to the detention center for a group photo, and 10,000 people will receive fist massage.

I am naturally useful, but I can't understand it! One day, Wang Di woke up from a dream. After getting up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, he will understand after eating the cake (if you try to read the third word of each sentence, there will be surprises).

Furniture is made of wood, scholars who know poetry, people who think about money, trained talents, women who want figure, geniuses who send messages and idiots who read short messages!

Touching your head is so gentle; Touch your face, it's so hot; Touch your waist, so enchanting; Touch your hand and follow me; Touch your back and sleep with me!

I heard that a pig can imitate people, so I went to have a look, but I didn't believe everything I saw: the pig was actually reading text messages on his mobile phone like a human!

Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, a day with you is a beautiful day.

Love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is not in the service area; It hurts to think about it, and it hurts to think about it. When can I turn it on again? Horizontal recognition: dreams come true

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

A monkey saw a man taking a bath and fell from the tree with a smile. He asked why. He said with a smile that human beings are really strange animals. Look at their short tails, they must be born in front. Ha ha. ...

You should marry Xiao Zhao, make friends with Ling Huchong, be a man with Qiao Feng and go out with Wei Xiaobao.

Brother, I want you to meet a girlfriend: she has noble temperament, charming appearance, charming figure, flowing long hair and gentle eyes ... she is 80 years old this year.

Urgent notice: A man who resumes polygamy from now on and remains monogamous after two weeks will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of more than six months and less than three years, and will be fined heavily.

The husband looked at his wife in a bra and said, you really don't need to wear it because there's nothing to put in it! The wife sneered and replied, Don't you wear underwear? Although the smallest size is too big.

When you saw this message, I was quietly thinking about you in a corner of the world, wondering what you were doing and whether you were thinking about me.

The greatest happiness in my life is that I can gently hold you to sleep every night and wake you up gently every morning. ...

Loving you is the most important thing in my day, thinking of you is the happiest thing in my day, watching you is the most enjoyable thing in my day, and loving and thinking of you is the thing I want to do in my life.

Sign a pair of couplets: more and more menstrual belts are worn, and condoms secretly set me up.

A tadpole accidentally entered a woman's lower body while swimming, but soon committed suicide, leaving a suicide note: since I entered this hole, I have been beaten by random sticks every day, and I have been besieged by the same kind. ...

The status quo of virgins: a group of people accidentally cut themselves, a group of people were mutilated by criminals, a group of people were deceived by emotional swindlers, a group of people went bankrupt through legal procedures, and a group of people were left behind after seeing through the world of mortals.

A gentleman accidentally went to the ladies' room after getting drunk, and a lady happened to be urinating. He poured the wine by mistake when he heard the noise. He was angry: who will pour if I say I don't drink? The woman was afraid to leave, but she farted. You are even angrier: if you say you don't drink, you won't drink. Who will open another bottle?

Break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

Someone farted on the bus. A coquettish woman spat, "bah-bah-bah-". A man said, what, you spat out your shell after eating fart? !

Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will be full after eating a catty. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

Please don't look down, turn it off. There is really nothing to see. Come on, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it-you are a pig!

I live such a life every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

Welcome to the beautiful city calling station. Please press 1 to find local girls, 2 to find oriental girls, 3 to find western girls, and 3 to find homosexuals. ............................................................................................................................

Instructions for jumping off a building: Go to the seventh floor, gasp for breath to the sixth floor, struggle to the fifth floor, be disabled to the fourth floor, be hospitalized to the third floor, be frightened to the second floor, and watch the excitement to the first floor.

Since ancient times, who didn't have shit and who didn't use paper shit? If you don't use toilet paper, do you use your fingers?

That day, I quietly looked at your sexy body, twisted naked in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation and said, "boss, I want this fish."

That day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "We were born from the same root, so why fry each other!" "

First fall in love, goodbye infatuation, worry all day long, want to win the heart, take great pains, want to run away with the heart, don't you know my heart!

Three mice tasted the wines of the United States, Japan and China, respectively. The American one fell three steps and the Japanese one fell two steps. The China Erguotou raised his kitchen knife and shouted "Fuck the cat!"

The boss didn't know that the front door zipper was open, but the female secretary reminded him that your garage door was open. The boss is puzzled: Have you seen my BMW? Secretary: No, only two tires are flat.

Lovers are crocodiles and may swallow you up at any time; The secretary is a turtle, but it tastes delicious but can't be tasted every day; My sister-in-law is a goldfish, but she can't eat it. My wife is salted fish, and it doesn't matter how long she keeps it.

Men are in their twenties, thirty nights, forty weeks, fifty months, sixty years, seventy touches, eighty hugs, ninety thoughts and a hundred smiles!

I have eyes but I can't see your figure at any time, ears but I can't hear your voice at any time, hands but I can't hold you at any time, but I have a heart that can miss you at any time.

If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will hug you tightly for 600 seconds; If there are only 3 minutes left in the world, I will give 180 seconds 1 kiss; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

Late at night, walking alone in the cold street, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, I really want to say to you loudly ... invite me to dinner?

Four ideals of men: money fell from the sky, and all the beautiful men in the world died. The beauty is out of her mind, crying for me to soak.

Urgent reminder: there will be a tornado in the southeast of our city at 9: 00 tomorrow morning. It is expected that there will be money and things like mobile phones, paper money and gold coins. Please be prepared to get rich.

The longer the wine, the more mellow it is, and the longer the friends get together, the more real it is; The water is getting clearer and clearer, and the vicissitudes of the world are getting lighter and lighter. Happy every day, always in a good mood!

In order to get your delicious juice and body, I put my mouth close to your acupoint, kept sucking and licked it with my tongue ... The wine snail tastes really good.

A father taught his daughter: when someone violates it, it says no, and when someone violates it, it says stop. One day, her daughter was attacked at the same time, that is, don't stop!

You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you are the gourd, I am the melon, you are the steak, I am the fork, and I am the thorn! I will stick to it! I will stick to it!

When you close your left eye, you are flirting. When you close your right eye, you are agreeing. When you close your eyes, you can do anything you like.

Steamed bread and noodles fight, steamed bread was held in tears, so he went home and asked Hua Juan to avenge steamed bread. As a result, the instant noodles opened, and the steamed bread said, "You burned your head, I know you!" " "

10% persistent+10% missing+10% jealous+10% suspicious+10% sweet+10% distressed+10.

Just announced: Starting from 0: 00 tomorrow morning, China Mobile will start charging for mobile phones separately, and answering calls will be free in the future! Unicom will also follow up in the near future.

Guess: All the birds flying from Swan Lake are extinct, so it is meaningless to walk in pairs. These two trees have no connection with the forest center. If you don't want to fly first (type four words) ..................................................................................................................................................

Think of your smile when I get up, smell your smell when I wash my face, and you are my need before going to bed. I really can't forget you ... my dear toilet!

Do you like me? If you like me, press it again. You really like me! I pressed it when I said I liked it. Press it again! I didn't expect you to like me so much, so moved! Press again! I like you, too.

How many times have I told you to be careful not to go out at night, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

Want to see you, let me stare into your eyes. I want to hug you and let me warm your body. Want to kiss you, let me burn your lips. I want to love you, which makes me unforgettable.

You should take care of yourself, don't have a cold, runny nose and sneeze occasionally, which means I am thinking of you.

After reading the following words, you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2 million yuan. The problems are as follows: the purpose of this is both.

There are three kinds of men who can't marry: newspaper editors-they submit articles every day; Send the newspaper-leave it at the door and leave; Copy water meters and meters-only once a month

You always have a soft gun, a soft gun, and you touch yourself alone until dawn. It is always simple, orgasm is too difficult, and your health is not good, so don't force it. ...

The first part: the person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Horizontal criticism: bad luck

Seeing your smile is the happiest thing in the world, seeing your tears is the most unforgettable thing in the world, seeing your anger is the most unforgettable thing in the world, but not seeing your information is the most pitiful thing in the world!

A wife is tasteless, a lover is too tired and a young lady is too expensive. It's better to have a reunion and break up a couple.

There is a tacit understanding called empathy, a feeling called wonder, a happiness called being with you, and a yearning called living like years.

During Spring Festival travel rush, the train was very crowded, so a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. When the inspector at the bottom of the car found it, he shouted: Fat man with cigar, shrink back.

Good luck with a fat pig. Great body, as strong as a bear; Love is as sweet and beautiful as a bee; Good luck is a dime a dozen; My career is booming, flying higher and higher like Dapeng.

A thunder woke Bush up in the middle of the night. He shouted, "Quick, turn on the light!" " The bodyguard lit the candle tacitly. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, Bush hissed, "I'm all over Afghanistan."

A young woman engaged in literature wrote an article asking the professor for advice. Professor: The first half of this article highlights two points, and the content is substantial. The middle is flat; In the second half of my life, I have to do seven things and eight things!

Mary: Mom, I know why Dad's belly is so big! Mom: Why? Mary: Because every morning I see the maid trying to blow the pipe under my father's stomach.

If you have a fart, you will hold your heart; Do not fart, exercise; I want to fart, everyone pay attention; When the fart rang, everyone applauded.

You're so cute-poor nobody loves you, you're really nice-it's really not your fault. You are a genius-a born fool, and you are very moody-stingy and neurotic.

Tips for answering the phone for free: When there is an incoming call, press F, R, E and E before the third ring, and then press #, so that you can make the call for free and keep it secret.

Men are lecherous, they will be tempted when they see beautiful women, and they cheat people with sweet words. Once they are in love, they will become dirty, and then they will change their minds after going to bed. That's fucking heartless

The thief found all the jelly in the safe and ate it all in a fit of pique. The next day, the newspaper published a headline: Yesterday, the sperm bank was stolen and the sperm was looted. ...

One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said, fat is fat. Why are you wearing a belt?

Someone asked Anonymous: Is she a virgin? Female answer: yes, I gave birth to a child; Please, I'm not married. Let's call it a "place pair"

Riddle: Wedding night. A: Lin Chong, Shi Jin, Song Jiang, Ruan Xiaoer and Wu Yong.

One day, I was a guest at a beautiful woman's house. Later, when I left, I asked her what time it was. She took off all her coats and showed them to me. .............................................................................................................................

What do men want most from women? I want it. What do men fear most from women? (I want more)

It's not easy to say I love you. Send messages to express your feelings. If your heart is fluttering, can you reply to a short message?

The female secretary found the manager's trousers unzipped. "Manager, your garage door is open." "Did you see that car?" "I don't see a car, but I see the license plate number is 0 10."

Falling sky, where are you romantic? If you have a conscience, please come and invite me to dinner!

A Japanese competition lineup: Master Roshi and Kojiro are male players, and Kyoko Miyagawa and Kyoko Kanano are female players. The referee is South Korean socio-economic tycoon Park Sung-sung.

Someone cares about you, someone protects you, someone cares about you, someone wants you to be happy, someone misses you all night, and he is the one who sends you a text message.

Donor: The underwear you are wearing today is not in good color. Please take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to ensure safety. Kindness is kindness.

Man: Why can't I always be right! Woman: I'll help you with my hands. Look, isn't this aimed? All right, I'm clamping, you push hard! Wrong again. People cheered.

The sea is full of water! Good horse, it has four legs! Chili, it's really hot! Idiot, look at the message. It's grinning!

A farmer kept a row of pigs, and one day he found that one was missing. Looking for it for a long time, he couldn't find it. Finally, he found that the pig was hiding in the corner and reading the SMS!

If you love me, you can kiss me. If you don't love me, I will kiss you, okay ~ ~ ~

We filmed your one-night stand. If you don't want your wife to know, please get 654.38 million yuan in cash to redeem the goods within seven days, otherwise. ...

I was at a loss when I met you/panicked/your affectionate eyes/I couldn't avoid it/I understood your heart/I tried to avoid it/You followed me closely/I cried/Whose dog is this?

A man called a prostitute and rushed into the battlefield without asking the price. After entering, the prostitute proposed "50 in 50 out, 500 beats". After listening, the man asked him why, and replied, it's only 50, just enough to come in.

I miss you not because I am lonely, but because I miss you. The feeling of loneliness is so heavy, just because I think too deeply.

In the spring morning, I woke up easily, and sexual harassment was everywhere. At night, the sound of the bed board turned the girl into a sister-in-law

I haven't seen you for a day/my eyes are straight and I have no strength/I picked up the phone three times/my limbs are cold and sweaty/my insides are sighing/I blame myself/I have an idea as time goes by/I will wait for you before ten o'clock.

The little turtle was looking in the mirror when he suddenly found that the mirror was full of words, and then he remembered: Oh! I mistook my mobile phone for a mirror!

Miss, the body is divided, the head is free, the chest is pointed, and the lower part is not touched ... very expensive!

When I first met you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

You flashed by, making my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I told myself, I can't let you leave again, and I will never … catch thieves again!

A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man, Comrade, you dropped your cigarettes! The man was furious: you just castrated!

There are four tragedies in life: a long drought meets sweet rain, a drop of water; When you meet an old friend in another country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominated for a gold medal, dreams.

The manager met a cleaning lady to clean the elevator. Woman worker: Manager, you go first and I'll put it off. Manager: You'd better stall me first. Several times, manager: you'd better drag me!

Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, it was only in exchange for passing by in this life. If that's the case, I'm willing to exchange my meeting with you for 10 thousand times.

Some people say that you are an ass, and I seriously criticize him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like.

A glass of wine helps her think, flying eyes and sparks fly, and she can't catch the cliff, so she holds it in her arms. I can't understand hugs, but I have trouble in bed. When I was exhausted, she said I wanted more!

A couple had an affair. When a man touched a woman's private parts, she said anxiously, Ah! It's so comfortable ... but your ring hurts me. M: Hello! That's my watch.

A man and a woman were having a one-night stand, and the woman suddenly got up from bed and ran to the kitchen to grab a handful of rice and sprinkled it on the man's lower body: Hum! Go raise chickens and come back.

Palm-sized city, two-finger wide door. The milkman went in and the egg seller knocked at the door outside.

I still can't understand your feelings. I only know my true feelings, that is, I like you so much!

A new overseas travel route-a seven-day tour of Afghanistan was grandly launched: living in a cave, learning bomb-making and escape skills, and the lucky ones had the opportunity to take photos with bin Laden.

If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will recall the ups and downs with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

Pain is best left to others, happiness is your own; Trouble will be temporary, but friends will last forever; Love is managed with care, and there is no major event in the world; I wish you happiness.

I miss your smile, your beauty, your noble temperament and charming taste. I can't forget your tenderness in my memory!

I'm happy and carefree. I'm really infatuated with you. I'm worried about you. I've been very sad. I dare not change my mind. Don't be suspicious. I'm worried about writing it. I'm afraid you didn't mean it.

The new five intimate relationships are: going to school together, going to the countryside together, holding guns together, sharing stolen goods collectively, and going whoring together.

The Tang Priest assigned work at the foot of the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, and Wukong went to find water-Bajie, why do you still have time to read short messages?" ! "

There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't look for them at work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

A recruit practiced lurking in a tree. Two squirrels climbed up along his trouser legs. Only one squirrel said, Boss, here are two big walnuts. Let's eat them.

If you were a flower, I would like to be that cow dung; If you are cow dung, I am willing to be a fly. If you were a fly, I would like to make an egg with a seam. If you are an egg, I would like to make tea.

I wish you make a fortune in the new year, set foot on Marlboro, climb Hongta Mountain in your career, love you better than Ashima, and your financial resources are all over Greater China.

I only hold your hand in this life. ...

The sea is full of damn water, spiders, legs and peppers. It's too fucking hot. I don't regret knowing you. I wish you happiness and keep smiling every day!

Tip: Wrap the mobile phone with zongzi leaves and put it in a pot for 30 minutes. The standby time of the mobile phone battery will be doubled, the signal will be enhanced, and you can smell the fragrance of zongzi when you make a phone call.

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city's prize-winning network access activity, with a bonus of 1 1,000 yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. Password: Don't move.

Give up what you should give up is helplessness, give up what you shouldn't give up is incompetence, don't give up what you should give up is ignorance, and don't give up what you shouldn't give up is persistence, so I am persistent with you.

You are a tree, I am a vine, and I am by your side; You are the lamp, I am the oil, and I consume you; You are a cake, I am a pot, and I brand you; You are tea, I am water, and I soak you.

There is a feeling that it has no beginning or result, but it occupies me all the time, and that is the feeling of missing you.

Please read aloud the following poem and carefully understand its artistic conception: dark stone is green, dark pink, dark stone penetrates Chun Lv, and dark stone penetrates Chun Zhu.

Seeing you, I am afraid of getting an electric shock; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power.

Send me a message if you like me, call me if you like me, and keep silent if you love me!

Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

I love you and even die for you, but I can't die, not because I'm afraid of death, but because I'm afraid that no one will love you like me after I die!

You've been in close contact with a great woman recently, and you often flirt with her by texting. If you send another message, hundreds of millions of China macho men will become your enemies!

Laid-off women workers don't cry. There is a nightclub in front, not by the government but by the society. They have food, drinks and tips. Although we have no status, the mayor's secretary sleeps together.

Urgent notice: A man who resumes polygamy from now on and remains monogamous after two weeks will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of more than six months and less than three years, and will be fined heavily.

Idealism says, "I say you are a pig, and you are a pig." Materialism says, "Because you are a pig, I say you are a pig." In a word-you are a pig!

This is a well-designed short message. If you look at the phone upside down, you will appreciate the wonderful patterns. ....................................................................................................................................................

I can't hold back my feelings for you any longer. My parents are not here tonight. I'll take you to my room, turn off the light and pull you to my bed ... The new luminous watch is really beautiful.

May sweetness accompany you through every day of the year, warmth accompany you through every moment of the day, peace accompany you through every minute and happiness accompany you through every second.

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city's prize-winning network access activity, with a bonus of 1 000 yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. Password: Don't move.

Riddle: A small stick is hard, with hair at one end and a lamp at the other. Poke inside, white pulp outside. (toothbrush)

Buddha said, looking back 500 years, be a brush. Maybe I turned my head and accidentally bumped into you. Send me a message when you want to chat!

A diner deliberately made things difficult for the store and ordered a scrambled egg with duck eggs. I just heard Xiao er shouting in the kitchen: the guest officer who is reading mobile phone messages is an asshole.

Bull: I was scared when I saw the inspector coming. They all like to eat bullwhip. Niu: I'm afraid, too. I heard that they began to brag after eating the bullwhip.