Make a funny remark

1. Stupidity is contagious. Stay away from me. I'm witty. 2. Let me tell a story. Once upon a time there was a eunuch, and there was no one down there.

God will make up for your loss.

Draw a heart in the original place to commemorate the dead love.

5, you don't owe it, be careful that your brother kicks you to the pole and sings conquest.

6. Sometimes I like a song, just for one person.

7. If you love someone and don't respond, it's better to walk away proudly than to beg for love.

8. Sometimes you think the sky is going to fall, but in fact you are standing by yourself.

9. Don't mention it to me. I don't want to remember how you left me

10, please read aloud: lying plum smells fragrant flowers, and lying branches hurt and hate low. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green.

1 1, learn to compromise and stick to your most basic principles.

12. What you can't earn now is money, and only meat can't be thrown away.

13, it is said that when a girl is angry, just hold her down and kiss her, but why am I beaten by her boyfriend?

14, in those years, everyone struggled together, and these people ate shit together.

15, I am not RMB, why does everyone like me?

16, in fact, I am more unreasonable than you. I have a bad temper. But I'm not mean to you.

17, tell me what makes you unhappy and make me happy.

18, a few years ago, being single is said to be a nobleman. How did you become a dog these years?

19, every time the teacher calls my name, I will filter out all the bad things I did today in my mind.

20, big men, will bully people; A good man can be a cow or a horse.

2 1, as a skirt, you can't take a shower. Are you ashamed to let me wash it for you?

22. There are always so many handsome guys floating in front of me, but I can only sigh why they never belong to me.

There is no point in giving our feelings to others. Why bother? It feels good to be alone!

I hope one day you are cooking and I am making trouble.

25, a girl like you, in the drama I directed, I can let you live for two episodes at most.

Where were those lost times before me? I think of heaven and earth, there is no limit, there is no end, and the place behind me is the future generation? I was alone, and my tears fell.

27. There are so many brain-dead people in the world, but you have become the best among them.

28, but why do I hold my head high, tears still can't help but stay.

29, then let go, anyway, love is who also don't owe anyone, then, from now on just a stranger.

30. Why do I always have tears in my eyes? Because I'm so fucking sleepy.

3 1, Yue Lao, did you break my red rope?

32, finished, you also ignore me, I became a dog ignore!

33, men don't bother unless they come to menstruation!

34. If there were no homework, no exams, no parent-teacher conferences, I think I would like going to school very much.

35. The cleverest primitive art is to cast a white eye on the secular world and go with the flow.

36, damn three menstruation said that my second aunt came.

37. I am the kind of person who does homework for one minute and then rewards himself with surfing the Internet for one hour.

38. No one's road is smooth sailing. As long as you choose the road, you can't regret it.

39. There are three kinds of things that hurt people: annoyance, quarrel and empty wallet. The most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

40. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

4 1, everyone said don't chat with me, you are responsible for telling your feelings.

42. Many people hate me. Who are you?

43. Life is like playing LOL. If you do it wrong, the game will collapse.

44. Don't be ridiculous, you are laughing to death.

I will do whatever it takes to get what you want.

Don't say anything nice to me, I'm easy to believe.

47. It is said that men fool women, which is called flirting; Women fool men, that's seduction.

48. Why do you slap in the face when you have+? Why do you have to confess when you have+? If you have+,you will always be happy and never break up?

49. Immature men always care about the beauty of women; Mature men are good at reading their wives' faces.

50, Tanabata, take your time, I'll live alone.

5 1, I want to be fat into a sea and drown all the dead skinny people who show off.

I love you not because I don't want others to love you, but because you love me alone.

53. There is an embarrassment called watching a kissing scene with parents.

54, my advantage is handsome, my disadvantage is handsome enough.

55. Make fun of the person I love in the future. I will teach you how to be a man in minutes.

I can't do two things in my life. Not this one, not that one.

You may be great, but I may not respect you.

58, bitter old trees faint, the school canteen price increases, students are hungry into thin horses. The sun has set, mom. I want to go home.

59. I like dreaming, the kind I do during the day.

60, the earth will turn, people will change, love you is eternal, it is impossible to marry you!

6 1, the only person who can turn your emotions into clouds and shelter you from the wind and rain is the one you love.

62. Many people are saying: You know, I want to say: I don't understand.

63. Bedding, electric blanket, warm baby and scarf are also called the four warm men in winter.

64. Life is like having a dog once in a while. You think it's yours, but it often bites you.

65. I changed from a silly boy to a heartless person. You know how much I'm going to get hurt.

66. Can I talk? My life is lonely as snow.

67. It's not necessarily a house girl who doesn't go out often. She may be Madame Curie.

68. I'm so cold, it's harder to pretend to be funny every day, you know.

69. Emotional drama, I have no acting skills.

70. You don't understand. I'm not fat. I am swollen because I am allergic to life.

7 1, why didn't you argue with me when you broke up? You left a message and ran away.

72. Does nine-year compulsory education only teach you to pretend to be forced? Are you confused, or am I fucking old!

73. The seven-year contract ended this summer vacation! And ushered in the next three years.

74. I don't like the feeling that the shop assistant never leaves when shopping in the supermarket. I feel like a thief.

75. God does not create garbage, and everyone is a treasure.

76. Sleep away yesterday's fatigue, forget yesterday's troubles, open today's eyes and open today's beauty.

77. I can tell many stories, from suitable for all ages to unsuitable for children!

78. I have eaten pumpkin, wax gourd and watermelon, but I have never eaten north melon. Who will plant one for me?

79, that kind of pain, only in the middle of the night, the babies are asleep, I will cry.

80. I am like a fly lying on the glass. The future is bright, but there is no way out!

8 1, a new girl with a very happy name, colleagues said how happy your family was when you were born. My sister said, my name is Bai, and the world suddenly became quiet.

82. Don't think you are a lazy sheep.

83. What is the largest island in Thailand? Buji i. If you don't know, you don't know what to sell.

I joked that you don't love me anymore. But you said seriously that you didn't care.

You followed me like a shadow, and this time I finally found scissors to cut you off.

86. Love is like poison. If you inhale it, you will suffocate.

87. I quit high-profile to make you shameless.

88. I'm afraid finding you will bother you, but I really miss you if I can't find you.

89. Why are you doing this? I guess you're here to participate in the defense war between husband and wife.

90. In order to live up to today's fine weather, I went to the basketball court and played a lot of basketball. Sure enough, I picked up many mineral water bottles.

9 1, I see your face is blue, your pupils are dilated, you have epilepsy in your upper body and a stroke in your lower body. Otherwise, I'll save you a seat first.

92. Don't hang yourself from a tree. Try to die several times in several nearby trees.

93. After which noble family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!

94. I changed 10086 to your name, and I can hear from you every day. Deceive yourself. You still care about me.

95. If growling can solve the problem, donkeys will rule the world.

96. A watch is a dog. Whoever has the ability will go with him.

97. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren.

98. Why is there such a big gap between the prince and his son? This is the difference.

99. Draw a circle and curse those people who don't chat with me. Their mobile phones have all fallen into the toilet.

100, true love is two people who look like pigs and are afraid that the other person will be taken away by others.

10 1, love, this bread is sweet for one person, sweet for two people, sour for three people, and bitter for more people.

102, a novice, kind in nature, and the teacher is a big idiot.

103, never heard of waiting for him? Everyone will die in that tree.

104, do you belong to me? You can have it alive and take it with you when you die.

105, always lamenting others, it's time to lament yourself.

106, some bitches waste air alive. Death is a waste of land. Half-dead, wasting RMB.

107, there is a silence called domineering, an introversion called personality, a simple call deep, and a disdain called self.

108, reading travel novels every day, treating the toilet like a hole.

109, my sister was made shy by men's dirty jokes, and you used them to make men look shy.

1 10, I like melodramatic women who talk like children, just like singing opera.

Publish a sentence

First, if there is love in the sky, it will always touch my wife.

Second, one person blooms and one person falls. From beginning to end, no one asked.

Third, brothers can give up women for brothers, and sisters can stay away for men.

Fourth, the intervention of a third party can test whether your man is reliable.

5. The reply from the invisible man shows that he has never been far away from you.

Six, so hard to please you, but you have always been a joke.

7. Don't ask me if it hurts when I'm apart. The tree stationed in my heart was uprooted. Do you think it hurts?

Eight, many things happen for no reason, such as changes in people's minds for no reason.

You never read my mind. You blame me for being fickle and hard to understand.

Ten, let me get used to not having your son,

Eleven, nothing. It's okay. Pretend you love me. I'll pretend to be moved.

12. Your words and sentences make me unforgettable.

Thirteen, after studying for so many years, now think about it, kindergarten is the best.

Give me a positive look, and I will go with you without hesitation.

Fifteen, I have tasted the feeling of heartache, and that taste is really unbearable.

Sixteen, if you lose your temper, the other party immediately listens to you, it is to spoil you, but also because of love.

Seventeen, who can firmly wait for an uncertain lover for three years, five years and ten years?

Actually, you have to say it if you like it. How else would he know?

I told you you'd regret it. You really regret it.

Twenty, when can life hurt, only feelings can send life.

When chatting with me, you must reply to me quickly, or I will fall asleep.

22. Sooner or later, we will forget our dreams when we were young, our vows of eternal love and all our emotions.

Twenty-three, the most feared relationship is more than friendship and less than love.

Will you think of me after a long time and ask yourself why you didn't cherish me at the beginning?

Twenty-five, care too much about a person, the mood is often uncontrollable,-the rest is only heartache. .

I'm not invulnerable, I'm not invincible, you just don't love me and I haven't noticed it yet.

Twenty-seven, [details will tell you who is really good to you]

28. Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

Twenty-nine, who will remember that I am afraid of the dark and always have nightmares.

Thirty, you have to love me for a long time until time is immortal.

Just like it, why exaggerate it into love.

Thirty-two, how many people have touched you and how much have I touched you?

33. Some people's wounds heal slowly in time, just like him.

Looking up at the starry sky, there is still a trace of tears in the corner of my eyes. Who carved an indelible scar in his heart?

Thirty-five, thoughts like a burst sea washed my world into a blank.

Thirty-six, tears are a gift you mailed me, and the address is not very happy.

Thirty-seven, [seven points ambiguous and three points affectionate, can you give someone]

38. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

39. One mistake is enough to make others forget all your goodness.

Forty, with the truest self, you can meet the most correct person. What scares me is that I remember those memories, but you forget them.

Funny sentences and jokes suitable for saying.

1. Son: Dad, have you paid the living expenses? Dad: Yes, ten thousand. Check with the bank. It's only 500. Son: Dad, why only 500 yuan? Old man: I'm busy now, Hong Zhong. Son: 2. I don't like you on purpose, but you are stuck in my heart. The girl the company has a crush on has never come to work. I thought she resigned, so sad. She came to work today, very happy, and brought us wedding candy. My wife found a pimple on my face, and she will help me out anyway. I don't know it well. It hurts. I won't let her pinch it. As a result, in order to squeeze this pox, my wife tossed and turned in bed until two o'clock. Finally, she couldn't help but squeeze me out while I was sleeping, and fell asleep soon after the squeeze. Scientists have found that children who often go out to see the world are often much more likely to succeed than others. So why are children who travel frequently more likely to succeed as adults? After a large number of investigations, scientists have come to the conclusion that the number of telephone scammers has increased just after June 1 1. It's still the original recipe. I'm calling from an old friend with enthusiasm. It's been a long time. Guess who I am and make up a big story. The other party quickly agreed. Yes, yes, how have you been recently? Then I said I was fine. Now it's your turn. Guess my last name? The other party hung up the phone. 7. Landlord: Well, you should pay the rent for this year first. Me: What? Didn't you just pay the rent for a few days last month? Why do you have to pay all the rent this year? Landlord: My daughter has a crush on you. Me: Does your daughter have anything to do with paying the rent? Landlord: Then you are not afraid of getting married. Sorry to ask for it! 8. As a girl, I cleverly avoided all the details that moved boys, and it was not easy to think about it. 9. Tell everyone a medical common sense: laxatives and sleeping pills can't be taken at the same time, otherwise the consequences will be terrible. . . Well, I am washing the sheets now! 10. I didn't reply to your message because I was cold, but because my hands were cold. 1 1. My wife and I went to her best friend's house for the first time. Her best friend has a new butterfly dog. His wife wants to hug it, but it won't let him. Her best friend explained: Never mind, it is afraid of strangers and won't let strangers touch it. A few more times and you'll have to hug. As soon as the voice fell, the butterfly dog jumped on my leg, rubbed me and let me tickle it. At this time, my wife's eyes, like winter, hung over me, cold. 12. A friend of mine earned more than one million yuan a year through financial management. Lying in the trough, how did you do it? That is, the bank deposit is more than 30 million. 13. Watsons: What can I do for you, Miss? Oh, my skin is rough, pores are easily blocked, acne and blackheads are easy to grow, and the T-shaped part is oily. I have a serious smile and huge lines. Often stay up late, dark circles are too big. I can't save my bad face. I just came to buy a facial cleanser today. Don't recommend me anything else. I'm not going to save my face. Please shut up. Thank you. 14. to resign, the leader said: good birds choose wood to live in. Thank you for your affirmation. I mean, animals that feel good about themselves should leave if they want to. 15. A foreigner is learning Chinese, and the teacher wants to test him and says, Please use an idiom with numbers to describe a person as happy. The foreigner thought for a moment and said, Smile in the grave! 16. Take a roller coaster in Happy Valley. Someone else's girlfriend: ah ~ ah ~ so scary ~ my girlfriend: ouch ~ ouch ~ 17. A: What do you think is the difference between a beautiful woman in the street and her girlfriend? B: The beautiful woman in the street has a murder weapon. C: Their skirts are very short. D: None of you have talked about the essence. All the beautiful women in the street are fucking alive and kicking. 18. My husband hasn't dated me for half a month. I really doubt whether there is a woman outside him! He was drunk last night and fell asleep when he got home, ignoring me at all! Hungry and thirsty, I slapped him hard and shouted, are you going to do it tonight? In a daze, my husband took off his pants and climbed on the bed, stretching his ass and shouting, Come on! Baby, lie down gently. What on earth did you do outside this day? 19. A friend is afraid of his wife. One day, his wife put ten yuan on the table. He took it and went to work. After work with him that day, his wife called him on the way: did you take the ten dollars on the table this morning? Yes, how much did you spend? I bought Bao Hongtashan, so there are three dollars left. The buddy couldn't remember at that time, and he faltered and said, I can't remember. At this time, his wife shouted: You are so honest, are you looking for a young lady? 20. When I was a freshman, a junior chased me. Coaxed by my roommate, I went out to see a movie with him. It was early winter, and it was not too cold when entering the venue. It's a little cold after watching the movie. My junior may have seen it and asked me: Senior, is it cold? Then he unzipped his down jacket. When I thought he was going to give me his clothes, he said to me, look, I'm wearing warm clothes, and I'm saying a sad word.

1. Too beautiful things are never suitable for experience, because once experienced, they can't be forgotten.

She leaned over the window and smiled silently. Sadness and coolness flowed all over the floor, and tears turned into light.

His heart has already changed seasons, and you are still standing on the day when he made a promise.

The most unforgettable thing is that you will never think of it, but you will never forget it.

Sometimes, love is also a kind of injury. Cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

6. Remember to turn off your cell phone when you have the chance to travel alone.

7. Some people you have watched all your life, but you have ignored them all your life. Some people look at you, but it affects your life. Some people are warm and happy for you, but they are left out by you. Some people will make you happy for a while, but they will get you into a series of thoughts. Some people are wishful thinking.

8. Both you who love me so much and me who love you so much are stuck in the past, and love is over.

9. The fish took the bait because it fell in love with the fisherman, and it was willing to make the fisherman smile with its own life.

10. I won everyone but lost you.

1 1. I used to be thin, and I will be thin in the future, so my life is still incomplete after being fat for a while.

12. Bruising and screaming still hurt the people you love deeply. You got it?

13. Some things are not knots, but scars. Don't regret if you give up. You shouldn't remember it if you lose it. Put down what should be put down and quit the drama without ending. Many things don't have to ask if they are worth it, just ask, are they so precious to you?

14. Some things, nothing, just don't want to understand.

15. Some people, some things, see clearly, see lightly.

16. Some people have to leave if they don't come. Some things, you don't want, you can only give up; Some past events, about happiness or pain, can only be buried in my heart; Some people hope that they can only choose to forget the present or the future.

17. When a person is over 20 years old, he won't make a promise easily, and he won't give up this and that easily for his ideal. Everyone should know how to show you the world. Just a word, but also learn that sometimes your so-called dignity is worthless in front of life.

18. Learn to say your tears, which has nothing to do with me.

19. Remember everyone who is kind to you, because they can't do it.

20. Never argue with a dog, because you are better than a dog if you win him, and worse than a dog if you lose. A draw is no different from a dog.

2 1. A person has only one heart, but two atria. A happy life; A person lives in sadness. Don't laugh too loudly, or you will wake up the sadness next to you.

22. As we grow older, we won't lose some friends, but we know who our true friends are.

23. I know who looks, who says and who thinks, and I know it myself. That's the sentence. That's what I do.

24. My story is very long. Get married if you want to hear it.

25. Be gentle, but don't compromise. We should be calm and calm.

26. After the pain, you won't feel pain, and some will only be a cold heart.

27. Listen to sad songs and watch happy plays.

28. Although there are always only two short words, no one can say them completely in words. How far is forever? Will not dissipate with the end of life, the real thing will always be hidden in my heart. Although the sky will change and people will get old, that heart will not change.

29. This winter didn't surprise me.

We seem to be patients waiting for redemption, but there is no cure.

3 1. We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

I will learn to forget you, put you down and stop worrying about you. From now on, you are nothing to me.

I'm afraid no one will help me wipe my tears when my heart breaks.

34. I put down my dignity, personality and stubbornness because I can't let you go.

35. Many things are always understood after experience, just like feelings: you don't need so much unnecessary persistence until you miss it and regret it.

36. Many people think they are thinking when rearranging their prejudices.

37. Happiness tells me that you are too young.

38. mistress, the rest are in the organization.

39. I am a little happy when I miss you, and a little sad when I miss you.

40. There is nothing wrong with liking someone. What is wrong is liking someone who doesn't like himself.

4 1. No matter how luxurious the wedding is, it doesn't mean that the marriage is happy. Whether two people live in harmony all their lives has nothing to do with the number of seats and jewelry.

42. What is irresistible is the beginning, and what is irresistible is the end.

43. Sometimes, we need a heavy fall to know where we stand. When love comes to an end, farting can be a reason to break up. If I am in your heart, why don't I have 3 thousand rival in love? What if you lose the whole world by my side? I forget when it was.

There are so many places around a person that you can pay so much. In this small circle, some people want to come in and have to leave.

45. When you grow up and mature, this society will see through. There is a kind of calm called stagnant water. The longer a person is, the more critical he is about love; A person for a long time, will become more mature than when in love; Being alone for a long time will make friends more important; Being alone for a long time, most festivals.

46. Our past is also a past we can't go back to.

47. Wandering between forgiveness and despair, the only feeling is injury! It hurts! It hurts!

48. In countless sleepless nights, I believe many people will habitually close their eyes, miss a person quietly and miss a face. In their hearts, it may be enough to have such a person to miss.

49. In our love, I have always played the role of loving you. When breaking up, don't ask me why I broke up, ask yourself.

I also want a person to care about my diet and daily life, so that I can pay attention to my health. Call me every day to say good morning and good night and say that he loves me.

5 1. I want to cry, but I don't know how to cry anymore.

I believe everyone here knows the pain of breaking up, so I'm here to tell you.

53. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.

I really admire myself for being able to smile and say it doesn't matter in the face of a lot of lies.

I really love you. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget, but the tears I shed didn't deceive myself.

56. I am trying to get close to you. Please cherish and don't tell me to give up.

57. I am crossing the street. Where are you?

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

59. Some things last a lifetime.