I was anxious all day and night, waiting for my medical report.

On Friday, I went for an abdominal magnetic resonance imaging examination. When I went to make an appointment on Tuesday, I was in a good mood. By the time I got my inspection done on Friday, I started to feel a little worried.

I stayed up all day on Saturday and sent a message to the doctor I knew, asking him to help me check the results early on Monday when he was free.

The normal time for results is Monday afternoon. From my difficult mental journey on Sunday, I had expected that I might be very anxious.

It turned out that the doctor helped me read the examination film early on Monday morning, but the result was normal. He is a surgeon, and he forgot to tell me because he was busy at work. I got busy in the afternoon and didn’t see any news from me.

Surgeons are also a profession with variable working hours. Sometimes they have knives and can be so busy that they have no time to eat.

Without some physical strength and good health, it is really impossible to do this job.

From morning to afternoon on Monday, I have been anxiously waiting for news from him. Later in the afternoon, I couldn't stand it anymore and the time was up, so I rushed to the hospital to get the report.

Unexpectedly, people queuing up to get the report. When I went there, I was fifth in line, and soon there was a line of people behind me.

I only remember that when it was my turn, my hands were shaking with nervousness, and I felt like I was going to collapse.

When I got the report, it was normal. I excitedly took a photo of it and took it to my husband, feeling relieved. At the same time, I felt that my previous worries were ridiculous, and I also realized that I was really anxious and that there was still something wrong with my mental state.

I was chatting with my sister in the evening. She said that it is still very difficult for people like me in a foreign land without a support system from relatives.

I think she might have a point. It's just that I used to have an independent and strong personality, which I never felt, but after all these years, I still put too much pressure on myself and I'm tired.

But what to do? Fortunately, I have a good husband who understands me and cares about me. I also have my own independent home, so I don’t need to squeeze in with my parents-in-law.

Because I know myself, I need my own independent space. I am an introverted and sensitive person. More time, I like to stay quietly.

In addition, I am grateful to the many doctors I have met. I think they are all very kind and have good attitudes. Maybe I am in the medical system myself and have several family members who are also engaged in related work, so it is easier for me to talk.

After experiencing so much in the past two years, I think I will be kinder to myself in the future, cherish my body more, be motivated and have goals in life, and listen to my heart more. Don't go against your heart too much.