Humorous short messages about Langzhong

The arrival of a new life is gratifying, but the doctor found that he seemed to be holding something in one hand.

I broke his hand and found it was the birth control pill. At this time, the child said, you tried to kill me an hour ago.

Let you see, there is no way. ..

2. The world organizes space exploration. There are British, Americans and Soviets, and each person is allowed to bring 60 kilograms of things. Britain

Americans brought their wives, Americans brought sports equipment, and Soviets brought 60 kilograms of tobacco. /kloc-meet them at the airport in 0/year.

3. Sometimes the reporter found that the British and their wives came down with their children, and the Americans became stronger, while the Soviets carried 60 kilometers on their backs.

Golden tobacco. The reporter was surprised, so he asked the Soviets that they had all changed. Why are you still carrying 60 kilograms of tobacco?

The Soviets said: He *! Forgot to bring a light!

In the hospital, this family has a happy son. Children can talk when they are born, and children say grandpa! 1, grandpa!

He's dead, and the baby's name is grandma! Grandma died with a sigh, and the child called dad again! , his father! but

Just to see if you're not dead! At this time, the child's uncle died with a sigh.

The minister of family planning made a general survey in the countryside and asked the old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer answered with a simple and honest smile

: relatives, hehehehehehe ... hehehe, too familiar, not easy to start!

6. Admission notice: Congratulations, you have been officially admitted to the uneducated class of the department of barbarism of Oxford University. Please bring your dementia.

Diseases and other incurable diseases report to the American Dung Hall in Beijing's mentally handicapped street, illiterate road and daydreaming.

7. Top secret document of the 16th National Congress of the Communist Party of China: In order to improve the national quality, * * * decided to sweep away a group of ugly mentally retarded youths.

Pack your things and go out to take refuge at once. Don't thank me. Let's go! Be safe!

8. A couple took a nursing child to a restaurant for dinner. The child cried and the woman quickly undressed. The waiter stopped and the woman was furious: don't you think?

Can't this work either? The waiter said: it is ok to show your chest, but you can't bring your own drinks.

9. You look happy dragging a pig shopping. I said sympathetically, "Just look at a person's grade."

Look who he's with. "Words don't say that finish, just look at the pig very disdain abandon you!

10. A boy likes a girl very much and has been chasing her. The girl is not interested in the boy because the boy is dead.

Finally, one day, the girl turned and slapped the table hard in class and said loudly to the boy, "There you are."

What do you like about me? ! Can't I change it?

1 1. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Small.

Baby. "

12. I saw you that day. In the supermarket, you quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows 8 yuan's trotters.

You think the machine is broken, so put your face together and look at it. The screen shows 5 yuan, a pig head.

13. It was only yesterday that I learned that a mm was willing to lay down her life for me! Hehe, how touching! She firmly said to me:

If you pester me again, I will die. ......

A strong man with scrotal pain went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor on duty is a young girl and asks him, "What's the matter with you?" Strong man: "The egg hurts!" Doctor: "Does the testicle hurt?" Strong man: "it hurts not only after doing it, but also after not doing it!" " "

Friends lie in walking, life lies in sports, people lie in getting into the water, relationships lie in activities, love lies in intentions, marriage lies in moving, whoring lies in excitement, and sexual intercourse lies in convulsions.

Women have small breasts. Don't promise your boyfriend to propose. The man asked: Do you have a big steamed bun? The woman said: Yes. On the wedding night, the man rushed out of the door and shouted at the sky: Oh, my God! Wangzai steamed buns are also called steamed buns! !

One day, a man took a bus and the condom fell out of his pocket. A lady next to him saw it and told him, "Sir, your little brother's work clothes have dropped."

The father took his son to take a bath, and the bath water was slippery. The child accidentally slipped and grabbed his father's XX without slipping. Father was very painful and casually scolded: it's a good thing you came with me. If you come with your mother, you will die.

One day, a man was bored at the seaside and buried the body, leaving only his penis exposed. Suddenly two women passed by, and only one person said: I *! This thing is still wild.

The mother kissed her three-year-old son. Son: "Mom, why don't you kiss my little brother?" Mom: "You can't kiss your little brother!" " ""Why are you from my dear father? " ……

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