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What are the reasons for rejecting others?
What are the reasons for rejecting others? Sometimes in life, we don't know how to refuse others for various reasons. Let me look at the relevant information about the reasons for refusing others to be with you.
What are the reasons for rejecting others? 1 How to find an excuse to refuse others?
1, you can find an impersonal reason as an excuse, that is, shirking.
How to find an excuse to refuse others? When a classmate invites you to another classmate's house to play at night, you feel that there is still a lot of homework to do, but you really don't want to go. You can say, "unfortunately, my father is going to help me write my composition tonight. Let's talk about it later." If your good friend invites you to go to the movies when you study in the evening, of course you can't go. What should you say at this time? "Our head teacher just announced that students can't leave the classroom during self-study time. I am afraid I can't go. " In this way, you can avoid the blame of the other party.
Before rejecting others, you can show that you are willing but unable.
You have been invited to go for an outing at the weekend, and you have made arrangements for this period of time. How can you refuse him? "outing? You did a good job. I have long wanted to have fun with you in the suburbs, but ... "Because you expressed regret that you didn't agree to his request, he refused, but he will understand you in his heart.
3. Learn to induce the other party to deny their own requirements in order to achieve the effect of rejection.
A classmate wants to take advantage of his father's business trip to visit Mount Tai and ask for leave from the class teacher when the school is in normal class, which is of course against school discipline. The head teacher can directly reject him or even criticize him. However, the head teacher said to the students, "It's really a wonderful thing to go to Mount Tai with my father. However, our school is going to hold an essay contest these days, and our class is counting on you to take the place! " There are many opportunities to visit Mount Tai. Wouldn't it be better for us to find a holiday opportunity and organize more students to play together? "After listening to the teacher in charge, the classmate said," Teacher, I won't go this time. "He happily withdrew his request. Don't you think it's wise for the head teacher to refuse? People don't want their wishes to be rejected, and the other party's categorical "no" is more vulnerable. Therefore, the language of refusal should pay special attention to politeness and discretion.
In short, when you refuse others, you usually express your different opinions in the most tactful and gentle way. When necessary, you should explain to the other party in detail the reasons why you can't agree to his request in a euphemistic and frank tone, instead of a blunt refusal. Therefore, in the face of this problem, sometimes we have to use the language of refusal.
How to reject others reasonably
First, pretend to promise and pretend to be angry. For example, if someone borrows money from you, you pretend to promise to lend it to him, and suddenly you start to say angrily, "What do you mean, you are so ugly and too few, don't look for me", and then turn around and ignore him.
Second, change the subject and divert attention. First of all, we must understand the purpose of others. After knowing his purpose, don't give him a chance to speak, keep changing the subject, keep asking questions, and finally find an excuse to get away.
Third, stalling tactics. Using this tactic, we must set some vague conditions for future refusal. For example, your friend heard that your company is recruiting people, and you are the competent leader of this recruitment and asked you to help find a job. You can say, "Yes, if you meet the company's employment system, I will definitely recommend you. I think you'll be fine. Wait for my good news. " Next, when he comes to you again, you can refuse the employment system of him and the company at will.
Fourth, praise first and then refuse. Expressing appreciation in a positive tone first, and then expressing rejection will not directly hurt the feelings and enthusiasm of the other party, and the other party is easy to accept.
Fifth, use self-deprecating methods. For those meaningless activities, you can use self-deprecating methods to refuse. For example, if your friend invites you to play poker together, you can say that my card skills are too poor to get on the table, so I won't participate.
How to politely refuse a friend
1, leaving room for speech.
If you are not sure about something and need to refuse, stop or oppose some demands or actions of the other party, you can use impersonal reasons as an excuse to make your words more flexible, such as using flexible words such as "try your best", "try your best" and "try your best". This kind of commitment can leave some leeway for yourself, but it may leave doubts for the other party. The effect of gaining the trust of the other party is worse, but confrontation can be avoided. For another example, a newspaper salesman comes to your door and asks you to subscribe to the newspaper, but you don't want to subscribe. You can say politely, "thank you, your service is very thoughtful, but we subscribe to several other newspapers." Please forgive us. " Emphasis on "you" and "we" instead of "you" and "I" effectively reduces the hostility of the other party.
2. Delay redemption time
If the other person asks you for help, you probably can't do it. You can say, "I can't promise you yet. I have to ask XXX first to see if I can do it. I'll contact you in a couple of days. " In a couple of days, maybe you find that you can help him, which is certainly better. Even if you can't, it means you tried your best, which is better than refusing in person. There is another situation, that is, although you recognized this situation at that time, the situation may change because of the long time. At this time, when you make a promise, you can delay the time, that is to say, it takes a long time to fulfill your promise, leaving room for yourself and creating conditions to realize your promise. For example, in the previous example, when Xiao Li asked Xiao Wang to help him with his homework, Xiao Wang could say, "I have to hand in my manuscript the day after tomorrow, and the time is too tight." I'll help you do it the day after tomorrow. " In this way, it is reasonable to delay the time of fulfilling the promise by "submitting the manuscript".
What are the reasons for rejecting others? When you are uncomfortable with other people's demands, the best way to protect yourself is to refuse others.
There are five realms of refusing others:
1, don't refuse.
2. The price is too high to refuse.
Step 3 make excuses to refuse
Step 4 refuse without reason
5. counterclaim
The lowest and highest state of refusal is not to refuse. When I was uncomfortable, I still endured, wronged myself, and perfected others through self-coercion. I think you have met many people who are good at this. On being good to yourself, the realm is the lowest. On the achievement of others, the realm is the highest. This is not a question for discussion.
The price is too high to refuse.
There are always people who find it hard to refuse. In fact, there are no people who refuse to have difficulties, and each of us is very good at refusing. For example:
Give me 1 ten thousand yuan. You didn't? Then give 1 ten thousand.
"No" is the reason why you refused me. "Reluctance" is also the reason why you refused me. So it's not that you can't refuse, but that you subconsciously wrote a belief that limits you:
I can't refuse what I can do, and it doesn't cost much
For example, mom asks you to call her at least once a week. Although you are bored and don't want to do it, it's hard for you to refuse. But it's much easier for you to refuse when your mother forces you to marry a rich man.
For example, the boss makes you work overtime. If you have plans after work, such as chasing plays, dating, staying with cats, fitness, etc. It is usually difficult for you to refuse your boss. If you suddenly sprain your ankle and go to the hospital after work, you will decisively refuse to work overtime.
The difference is that the reason for your refusal is not very important, and you have nothing to pay for yourself. The reason for the latter is objective. If you don't refuse, you will lose a lot.
Won't you say no?
It's hard for you to refuse because you have the ability to satisfy others. When you know that it is too expensive to satisfy others, you will know how to refuse better than anyone else.
When you realize that your ability is limited, your refusal is sincere, even without guilt. If the other party insists on the request again, you can even develop into anger.
What are the reasons for rejecting others? Be able to put yourself in others' shoes.
When getting along with others, the most important thing is to learn to put yourself in each other's shoes. If this happens to you, if you make a request to others, if they flatly refuse you, how will you feel?
Know how to retreat for progress.
If we want to refuse his request, we can give him some consideration, that is to say, we have to make some concessions ourselves. Who made us friends? If we were not friends, he wouldn't ask you for help.
Understand each other's feelings.
When refusing, we should pay attention to the method. The most important thing is to have a strategy. Don't say it too hard. We must take into account the feelings of the other party, especially when the other party has great hopes in this matter. Don't throw cold water on it at once.
Silence is also a kind of rejection.
Rejection doesn't have to be expressed clearly. If we feel we can't say it, we can also choose silence. Not taking a stand is also an attitude, and it is a clear attitude. That is, if we disagree, the other party should not insist.
The reason must be credible.
When we refuse others, we must involve the reasons for refusing. This reason must be credible. Don't find some reasons without credibility to make the other party feel ridiculous. Such refusal will directly insult the IQ of the other party, and friendship has basically come to an end.
Learn to procrastinate deliberately.
If our friend's request can't be realized, there is another way, that is, think about it first, and don't refuse him immediately. All you have to do is hold your tongue, deliberately delay for a while, and tell him that he wants to think it over and believes that time can dilute everything.
And promised something else.
If we have to refuse a friend's request, I believe he will be very unhappy, at least in his heart. At this time, if we know that he has other needs, we can try our best to meet other aspects within our power.
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