Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - Classic jokes for girls_Jokes suitable for coaxing girls

Classic jokes for girls_Jokes suitable for coaxing girls

Girls like to hear jokes. I wonder what kind of jokes boys usually tell girls to make them happy? The following are the classic jokes I have compiled for you. I hope Everyone can like jokes that are suitable for coaxing girls.

Classic humorous jokes for girls

1. I was passing by an intersection that day, and I had the desire to fart. There happened to be a person riding a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover up. The sound of my own fart was so loud that the man on the motorcycle thought the engine was on and put it into gear to leave. I was really embarrassed that time.

2. The administrator was talking to a girl: "Sorry, swimming is prohibited here?" "Then why didn't you tell me before I took off my clothes?" "We don't prohibit taking off clothes."

3. Xiaomei wrote down her wishes when she grows up in her composition book: 1. I hope to have a lovely child; 2. I also hope to have a husband who loves me. As a result, I found that the teacher wrote a comment: "Please pay attention to the order."

4. Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote "Newton". As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. It turned out that everyone wrote the name of the instructor?kao, what kind of world?!

5. The butterfly said to the bee: "You are so stingy. You pretended to be full of sweet words but couldn’t bear to say anything to me.” Bee said, “Huh! You’re still talking about me. Why don’t you send me a text message when you have two antennas on your head?”

6. A taught the parrot to speak: "I can walk." Parrot: "I can walk." A: "I can talk." Parrot: "I can talk." A: "I can fly." Parrot: "You "Don't be ridiculous."

7. Late at night, Bush saw Bin Laden standing in front of his bed, with his hair disheveled. Bush was shocked and said, "You are so bold, you dare to break into the White House at night!" Bin Laden shook his head. With a chest-length beard, he smiled eerily and said, "Rejoice, you are so confident!"

8. The mother was about to give birth, and her relatives and friends were waiting anxiously outside the delivery room. The nurse finally took the baby out, and everyone rushed towards him. "Is it a boy or a girl?" Fathers are most concerned about this question. He couldn't wait to put his hand into the swaddling clothes, groped for a while, and then shouted happily: "It's a boy! It's a boy!" "What boy?" the nurse scolded angrily: "Let go of my fingers!"

9. Teacher: "Xiaoxin, your problem is that you use the wrong words. Now I will test you. Use an idiom to describe the teacher's happiness." Xiaoxin: "With a smile on your face."

10. The fish said: "I keep my eyes open all the time because I am not willing to leave you." The water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and pick you up." The pot said: "Everything. He’s almost mature and still so poor.”

11. During a military drill, a cannonball went very far. The soldiers sent to investigate found that the shells had fallen in the farmland. There was a farmer standing in the field. His clothes were torn and his face was dark. He said with tears in his eyes: "I just stole a few cabbages, why should I use shelling!"

12. A hen laid a giant egg, and a news reporter came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The rooster rolled up his sleeves. I will not comment on this matter at the moment. I will wait until I catch the ostrich!

13. A person mistakenly swallowed the artificial eye into his mouth, and finally it got stuck in the anus and could not be taken out. , I went to the hospital. After the doctor looked at me, I fainted on the spot. When I woke up, I said: I have been looking at the butthole all my life, but I didn’t expect that I would be looked at by the butthole at the end?

14. The Henan baby asked the Henan mother: "How do you make a sentence for ABCDEFG?" Henan mother: "A, this B child, from C family? Standing on D with bare feet, EF is not wearing any, and GG is still exposed!" Haha?

15. A man kept farting loudly in the office, and his colleague couldn't help but say, "Can you keep quiet?" Then he saw him sitting there shaking and shaking. A colleague asked: "What are you doing?" He replied: "I set it to vibrate.

”

16. I heard from a friend that when he was in college, a boy with a low EQ finally met a girl he liked, and the two just started dating. Once the girl was sick, the boy accompanied her to the infirmary for an intravenous drip. Flow. Ten minutes passed, and twenty minutes passed, but there was no movement. The boy wanted to break the silence, so he asked: "Is it cold?" "Okay." Then the boy stood up and covered the drip bottle with his hand.

17. When I was young, I always bullied my sister because of how old I was. One night, my father came over to tuck us in, and he suddenly found out that we were three. My 6-year-old sister sat upright in the dark and looked at me who was sleeping! "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Dad asked. My sister hurriedly said, "Shh! Keep your voice down, and I'll beat her when she falls asleep!" /p>

18. I have a classmate who is a __ disciple, and he feels a little obsessed. The school has morning exercises, and he feels that the teacher must get up early to do the exercises, otherwise it is unfair, so he went directly to the principal to negotiate. The principal was stunned for a moment and said, "Where did you come from?" My classmate said lovingly, "I was sent by God to save you. "Principal: ?

19. This person is prone to hearing loss when he gets older. I remember when I was a child, I was at my grandma's house. One morning, my grandfather was going to go fishing. As soon as he left the house, he ran into the old man from the next door. The old man said to my grandfather: "Go fishing!" My grandfather said: "No! I'm going fishing." "Then the old man said: "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" Am I petrified?

20. I took my wife for a prenatal check-up in the morning. After the blood was drawn: Nurse: "Are you thirty? Come get the checklist on the 2nd. Wife: "January 32 or February 30." "Me (weakly): "February 1st" Nurse (sweat): "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

The latest classic jokes for girls

1. I was on a plane a few days ago. When I got on the plane, I noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to me. Following the rules of conversation, I blurted out and asked: "Where are you getting off?"

2. I was using electricity in the dormitory last night. The rice pot was cooking porridge, and suddenly my roommate rushed into the dormitory and said, "No, the hospital leader is leading a team to check the illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory. They have already arrived next door, what should I do with the pot?" In desperation, I hid the pot under the quilt. After the teacher came, he said: "Well, I still trust Xiaolei (himself), so I won't look at your cabinet. I was secretly lucky, but the teacher continued: "Just see if you use the electric blanket." ” As a result, I was written off.

3. The cat pounced on someone, he had a new girlfriend, and he was in love with his concubine. He wanted to visit his girlfriend at home, but his girlfriend knew that he often used swear words, so he repeatedly warned him not to do it. Nonsense, someone happily agreed. After meeting, someone responded freely and did not reveal any secrets. After dinner, it was winter, and his girlfriend's parents also insisted on sending her to the roadside. Someone was quite moved. As soon as I got hot, I blurted out: "Uncle, don't give it away, go back quickly, and show my auntie how cool it is!"

4. Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in the Internet cafe. I was busy with my work. One night. As for why CS was deleted? Actually, the reason was this. I had already gotten wind of the temporary inspection by the Public Security Bureau for several days, and I was driving away all creatures under the age of 18. After leaving the Internet cafe, the boss and I were not nervous when we watched the police uncles coming. However, it was a pity that when the police uncles just stepped into the Internet cafe, a group of people were playing CS in the Internet cafe. After shouting excitedly: "The police are here! The police are here! The police are in the dog hole! Come on, brothers! Kill them!" Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncles' faces were green, but also the boss and My face was also terribly green.

5. She had a mobile phone and a PHS phone. One day she got a new mobile phone card. A colleague asked her what the new number was, and she said she had forgotten it. After the phone rang, she picked up the phone and asked, "Hey, talk. If you don't talk, I'll hang up!" All her colleagues were petrified. Then she hung up and said, "I'm crazy. I called you and didn't say anything."

6. A brother went to the toilet and entered the women's toilet by mistake. After entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the toilet. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When I was opening the door, I met a girl coming in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room? -

7. The hunter saw a bird in the sky. Bird, three shots were fired without hitting it, but the bird still fell down. It turned out that the bird saw that the bullet missed, so he patted his chest and said: "I'm scared to death, I'm scared to death!" -

8. A man was passing through a cemetery at night and saw a light of fire and thought it was a will-o'-the-wisp. Then he threw a brick, and the fire moved to another grave. The man threw another brick, and then he heard: "Damn it! It's not even possible to take a shit. I got two bricks in the same time I smoked." -

9. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man walking towards her with open arms, making a hug, and then stepped forward and kicked him. The man fell to the ground and cried loudly, saying: "It's already the third piece of glass. Who did I offend? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?" -

10. A novice went to collect loan sharks. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: "It is clearly written in black and white on the paper that you owe me one million! Do you want to default on the debt?" The person said that there was indeed not that much money, so he threatened: "Humph! Don't blame me for not reminding you. You! If you can't pay the money tomorrow, your house will be like it." He took out his lighter and burned the IOU?-

11. I once liked a girl, but she didn't like me. She said that the kind of man she likes is the kind that no one dares to approach while driving on the road. She thinks that such a man is domineering. last month. She got married, and as she wished, her husband drove a sprinkler truck.

12. After handing out the test papers, the teacher said seriously: "In this exam, another student got the questions wrong that they shouldn't have done wrong. Please take a few minutes to ask yourself why?" I want the answer later." A few minutes later, the teacher called up a classmate and asked, "What's your answer?" The classmate said innocently, "Teacher, I asked it many times, but no one answered."

13. The younger son is very brave when fighting with others. Once, my son asked his father if he also liked to fight with others when he was a child. The father said: "I dare not." The son said: "Why?" The father said: "I can't beat him." The son said: "Then why didn't you call me to go!"

14. A college student's story Minimum standards: peasant women, mountain springs, and some farmland.

15. I said you were a pig, and you said: "I am a pig." From then on, I called you "a pig"! Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting to everyone: "I'm not a pig!"

16. Judge: "Why do you print counterfeit money?" The defendant said innocently: "Because I can't print real money."

17. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money we robbed today?" Thief B: "No, I'll find out by reading the newspaper tomorrow."

18. "You know you're with me What's in your heart?" The goddess suddenly said this. I immediately asked: "What is it?" "Part of it is a male god." I was flattered, and then she said: "Part of it is menstrual disease."

19. There was a couple who had just gotten married. My husband was sent to a foreign country by his company. After a year, her husband returned home. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple fell asleep snoring. There was a sudden knock on the door in the middle of the night. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed: "No! Your husband is back!" The wife muttered: "No way, he is in a foreign country."

20. The girl sat on the stool When she got up, a man saw that the girl's skirt was tucked into her buttocks, so he stretched out his hand and pulled the skirt out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said aggrievedly: "Don't blame me for causing trouble." Then he reached out and stuffed the skirt into the girl's butt again.

Popular classic jokes for girls

1. A girl pretended to be innocent and asked: "Where do you think children are born?" Another girl said disdainfully : "Damn, this is not easy, you can come out wherever you go in!"

2. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys were not listening. , and then yelled: "What are you thinking about?" I was confused at the time, and I didn't know why I said: "I miss you!" The classroom was silent for a long time, just a pair of frightened eyes looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and yelled: "You are just a stinky hooligan!" You're wrong!

3. A thief sneaked into a heavily guarded place in the middle of the night, and after a lot of hard work, he opened the door. After entering the vault, I found that it was actually full of jelly. The tired and hungry thief ate all the jelly in a rage and left. The next day the local newspaper headlined: "Shocked! Crazy Sperm Bank Stolen".

4. The farthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you go buy four generations of apples, and I go buy four bags of apples.

5. A man happened to meet Sister Feng in a bar. After hesitating for a long time, he asked in a low voice: "Can I take a photo with you?" Sister Feng shouted: "No, I won't sleep with you!" Everyone stared at her. Two people were accommodated, and the man returned in embarrassment. After a while, Sister Feng came over and whispered: "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology recently. I was just testing people's reactions in embarrassing situations." The man shouted: "Thirty yuan? Too expensive!"

6. The two friends had not seen each other for a long time, so they went to eat dumplings together. Ah San suddenly asked Han Di: "Do you know what gender the dumplings are?" Han Di looked puzzled: "I have eaten dumplings for so many years. Is it true that dumplings are the same?" They are divided into men and women." Ah San said with a smile: "It's stupid, it's a man, the dumplings have foreskins."

7. One time I went to a manga bar to rent a book named Tianyi, and I just saw the first one. On the second page, I burst into tears. Some god drew a circle on a certain character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote: This is the murderer?

8. Suddenly discovered an interesting pattern: No matter Are we watching a romantic drama or a youth idol drama? At the end, the male protagonist and the female protagonist get married, and the TV or movie ends. What does this mean? This is a profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, everything will change later. No chance!

9. The mother-in-law tests the three sons-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. He suddenly jumped while crossing a bridge. My eldest son-in-law jumped into the water and rescued me. My mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car as a gift. The mother-in-law followed the same pattern and tested the second son-in-law, but was also rescued. The injured second son-in-law received an Audi as a gift. She tried the third son-in-law again, but he couldn't swim and couldn't save her, and the mother-in-law drowned. The next day, his father-in-law gave him a Mercedes-Benz as a gift!

10. A: "Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will it take for you to forgive him?" B: "Forgiving him is a matter of God, and my task is Send her to meet God?"