My son is in the third grade of primary school, but he is not good at dealing with interpersonal relationships between classmates. What should I do?

The deep friendship between classmates is the power of unity and friendship in life. Pay attention to the relationship between classmates.

Politeness is the basic requirement for you to have a good relationship with your classmates. Students can call each other by their first names, but they can't call each other "hello".

Bad manners such as "ah" are used to address classmates. When you want something from your classmates, you should use "please", "thank you" and "please"

Appearance language. When borrowing school and daily necessities, you should ask for permission before using them, and return them in time after use. Thank you. about

Students' misfortune, occasional failure and temporary backwardness in learning should not be ridiculed, ridiculed or discriminated against, but should be given.

Warm help. You can't judge your classmates' appearance, posture and clothes, and you can't give them insulting nicknames.

Never laugh at your classmates' physical defects. We must be cautious and respectful on these issues concerning self-esteem.

Don't talk about topics, and don't talk about classmates casually.

There are many factors that affect children's communication skills, mainly in the following aspects:

1. Lack of game partner.

Most of today's children are only children, and they lack the experience of living with their brothers and sisters and the communication environment with their peers. They often play toys at home alone or play games with their parents, so they can't feel the happy atmosphere when children play in groups of three or five. Moreover, they are accustomed to the care of their parents, more dependent on their parents, lacking experience in getting along with their peers, and their adaptability to the surrounding environment is reduced, thus causing communication obstacles.

2. Egocentricity

Some parents love or care too much about their children, always accommodating them and doing everything for them, which makes it easy for them to form a self-centered habit. In the communication with their peers, they are overbearing, selfish and willful, do not know how to be modest and share, and lack the spirit of cooperation, which is also the common reason why they are unpopular in interpersonal communication.

3. Lack of communication time

Looking at the children's work and rest time, many children's spare time is occupied by their parents, leaving little time for their free control, such as homework, talents and excellent classes. Even if children have spare time, parents rarely let their children participate in outdoor group activities freely considering safety factors, while some children like watching TV and playing computer, and have less and less communication with their peers and family members. For immature children, it is difficult to accumulate experience without getting along with others, which will affect the improvement of communication ability.

4. There are fewer opportunities for face-to-face communication

In the past, children's games were mostly playing football with children, jumping houses, or playing group games such as police catching thieves. In the game, the children gradually learned to establish order and learn humility. With the development of electronic technology, children's games and leisure ways are more personalized, such as online games, watching TV, writing blogs or chatting on QQ ... This makes the communication between children virtual, but in real life, they don't know what to do. Moreover, in the virtual world, it is not bound by the real social morality and norms. In order to win, various means can be taken, which will also have a negative impact on children's interpersonal communication in the real world.

5. The influence of parents

If parents don't like communication or show selfish, complaining, arrogant and other behaviors when interacting with others, they will also exert a subtle influence on their children. For younger children, their unconsciousness and judgment ability are still very weak, and they will indiscriminately imitate their parents' behavior when interacting with others.

Help children get rid of communication difficulties

A variety of factors work together to make some children fall into a "communication dilemma". How can parents help their children get rid of this dilemma and let them cope freely in interpersonal communication? Before you act, learn about the standards given by experts to measure children's communicative competence.

1. Not afraid of unfamiliar environment, can quickly adapt to the new environment.

2. Be able to control your emotions when necessary.

3. Strong independence and no dependence on others.

4. Get along well with friends and cooperate successfully in various activities and games.

5. Be good at helping others and know how to be modest.

6. Be able to understand and act according to the wishes of adults. At the same time, I can also put forward my own opinions and suggestions.

7. Organized, can play the leading role of "little leader" in games and learning, and is loved by partners.

8. Be able to express your thoughts and suggestions clearly in public.

9. Enthusiastic and cheerful, able to respect and trust others when interacting with others.

Parents may wish to refer to the above 9 standards to see what your children have done. What needs to be remedied? If children's communicative competence is lacking, here are some ways to help children improve their communicative competence for your reference:

First, create a good family atmosphere.

If children want to be happy to communicate with others from an early age, the interaction between parents and children is very important. Parents can be said to be the earliest contact objects of children. They have created a caring, warm and equal family atmosphere since childhood, and often play games and entertainment with their children to make them feel safe and happy, so that they will have the will to communicate with others. Moreover, this kind of family atmosphere is also conducive to children learning to understand, care and help each other, which is helpful to improve their chances of being accepted by their peers and make their interpersonal communication smoother.

Second, cultivate good personality quality.

Children who are cheerful, optimistic, compassionate and tolerant will be smoother and more popular in interpersonal communication; On the contrary, children who retreat, are timid, or are selfish and willful are often ignored or excluded in the collective. Many children's communication difficulties are related to their personality or behavior habits.

For example, for timid and introverted children, parents should pay more attention to their inner feelings, actively create conditions for their children to communicate with others, and give them sufficient time and space for communication. In daily life, give more positive comments on children's behavior, give appropriate guidance to problems encountered in communication, enhance children's self-confidence and encourage him to actively communicate with others.

On the contrary, for children who are too active, aggressive or self-centered, parents should first reflect on whether they are too fond of their children or neglect the cultivation of their behavior habits and moral quality. Parents can combine their children's favorite stories, movies or personal experiences to let them know the necessary rules of behavior and clarify which behaviors are not allowed and unpopular. If he breaks the rules, he will be punished, thus gradually changing his children's bad behavior habits. In addition, in the process of educating children, parents should be consistent in their practices to avoid confusing children's right and wrong concepts or appearing "two-faced".

Third, create opportunities for communication,

Expand the scope of communication

Children not only need to communicate with their peers, but also need to learn to communicate with people of different ages, genders and occupations, which is not only helpful to cultivate their communication skills, but also a way to help them broaden their horizons and understand society. For the only child who lives in a relatively closed unit building, where can he find the object of communication and expand the scope of communication?

Interaction among friends, relatives and neighbors. A good neighborhood relationship is tantamount to creating a good surrounding environment for social interaction. In order to create a harmonious neighborhood environment, parents should encourage their children to visit their neighbors or invite them to play at home, which is a safer and more convenient way of communication. Relatives and friends are also important contacts. Because they are relatives and friends, the relationship is second only to family, and children can feel care and help. Frequent contact between relatives and friends not only enhances the affection between relatives, but also exercises children's social communication ability. In "ten? 6? During the "1 1" holiday, parents might as well take their children to their neighbors and relatives' homes for a walk, or even let their children stay with relatives and friends for a few days to experience different living environments and ways. In the process of adapting to the new environment, their communication skills will also be exercised and improved.

Do outdoor activities. Often take children to the suburbs, parks and other public places to play, so that children have the opportunity to observe and contact different people. In the case of ensuring safety, children can be encouraged to try to play with friends who meet for the first time, or let them ask for directions and buy things. This will also help to improve their adaptability to unfamiliar environments and crowds and exercise their communication skills.

Participate in group activities. Encouraging children to participate in activities organized by schools and communities can not only make more friends, but also learn how to communicate and cooperate with others in group activities. Parents can also take their children to participate in public welfare activities, such as donating mountain children to school and serving in orphanages, which can not only cultivate children's love, let them know how to cherish, tolerate and be grateful, but also exercise their ability to interact with people from different backgrounds.

Organize a family alliance. Many parents are usually busy at work, so they don't have much time to spend with their children, and they don't trust their children to go out to play by themselves. So you might as well find some parents who have the same troubles as you to help each other and form a family alliance. Parents take turns to take their children out to play, or organize activities at home, so that children have the opportunity to interact with more partners. In addition, due to different parents' cultural background, social work and lifestyle, the way of taking care of children will be different, which will help broaden children's horizons and improve their interpersonal skills.

Fourth, guide children to master communication strategies.

Master the basic etiquette norms. You can start with the most basic greetings and greetings. When you leave home or go home, take the initiative to say hello to your parents and family; Greet acquaintances politely and learn holiday greetings and polite expressions. Let the child experience decent behavior and friendly attitude in practice, and others will be willing to associate with him.

Train language expression ability. Because some children are not good at expressing and communicating, others can't understand his ideas, and it is easy to have some misunderstandings, thus affecting normal interpersonal communication, which shows the importance of language expression ability. In daily life, parents can often discuss things happening around them, news events and so on with their children. Let them express their views or debate different views, so as to improve children's language expression ability. At the same time, we should also guide children to learn to express their views politely and clearly when facing different opinions, instead of using offensive language or behavior to make the other party agree with themselves. If the other person's idea is right, we should listen to others' opinions with an open mind.

Learn to deal with problems flexibly. Contradictions between children are common, and sometimes parents' intervention will have negative effects. Letting children solve problems by themselves is an exercise in their communication skills. Parents can teach their children some skills to deal with problems through stories and examples in life, or put forward different assumptions about a specific thing, so that children can better deal with this problem, thus improving their ability to solve problems.

Fifth, enrich children's knowledge and experience.

A middle school student once said in an interview: "I seldom communicate with people because I don't know what to say when I meet people." Gradually, I became a' marginal person'. "

In the process of communication, children who are creative, have many ideas or have special skills can often become the center of children and the leader of topics. In daily life, parents should pay attention to cultivate their children's hobbies, enrich their spare time and increase their extracurricular knowledge and life experience, so that children will have more topics and behave more decisively and confidently when communicating with others. Some parents blindly ask their children to study behind closed doors and turn a deaf ear to things outside the window. As a result, their children know nothing about the topics of interest to their classmates and have nothing in common with each other. Naturally, you can't integrate into the circle of classmates, and gradually you will feel isolated.

Sixth, parents should set an example.

How parents deal with interpersonal relationships will also have an impact on their children. Parents are sincere, enthusiastic and friendly when interacting with others, and children will form the habit of being kind to others in a subtle way; If parents often talk about others behind their backs, or utilitarian in communication, children can easily have a wrong view of interpersonal communication and have a bad influence. Therefore, parents should pay attention to their words and deeds and set a good example for their children.