Search the whole novel "Waiting for You to Be 35"

I'll wait for you to be 35 years old by Nankang 2009-06-06 2 1:40:26

1

Some time ago, I went to the furniture city and took a fancy to a set of brown sofas, which were spacious and comfortable, and almost half a person could get in. The price is more than 4 thousand, and I said to my husband, "I'll buy it for you as a wedding gift." He gave me a surprised look and said, "Nonsense." Then I am very interested in studying a small coffee table.

Even I can see that such an obvious cover-up is really unnecessary, but apart from that, he probably has nothing else to do and nothing else to say. I looked at his back and smiled.

In fact, he didn't know that I wasn't angry, and I didn't mean to stab him with words. I really want to buy him something.

2

It was dusk when we got off at the terminal, so we walked back slowly.

Looking sideways at his side, the golden sunset smeared on his face, softening the outline, and you can clearly see the faint fluff on both sides of his nose. My husband's hair is very heavy, except that his mane and chin are blue, even his cheeks and Adam's apple are covered with hair. I have been trying to persuade him to shave off these two places, but he refused, fearing that Hu Gen would become hard after shaving, and the lower part of his face would turn blue, like wearing half a mask.

When he got home, the suitcase was in the living room, and he went on to tidy it up. I pretend that I can't see what is his and what is mine. He can always see it.

three

My husband was lying on his back in bed, and I lay on him, leaned up and put my face on his face.

He probably enjoys love, too, rubbing it in my face.

For me, hugging is more important than making love. Making love can only be out of passion, but hugging comes from wholehearted trust and love, and opening yourself defenseless.

The words "skin contact, ear friction" are really well done.

four

From 1999 to 2006, I loved this person for seven years, as if it had become a part of my body, naturally existing, and sometimes I didn't even feel it, but if it was time to cut it off, I would be reluctant, painful and want to cry.

My husband asked me if I would like others in the future. This is really a heavy topic. I only dare to make fun of it. "Yes," I said, "maybe one day I will suddenly make a fire with others, and then I will have a fire."

My husband was amused by me. "I know what you like, mature and steady." Anyway, stand in front of me like Optimus Prime.

Some students have said this sentence before, "You must find someone who can hold you down in the future." Maybe it's because sometimes it's too childish. After getting familiar with my classmates in the dormitory, I will often play tricks on them. Fortunately, nobody cares, I just smile helplessly.

"More than that, if you really like it, there is nothing you can do. If you don't like it, if you want to chase me, you must be mature, handsome and rich. "

five

I've thought about this myself. I don't know what kind of person I will like in the future, but after thinking about it, it will always come down to my husband. His face floats in my mind, and I can't imagine the second one at all. I can't do it without this person. Sometimes it's really desperate.

I also thought of giving him a wedding gift, and put my favorite two sentences "May the years be quiet and the world be stable" on the gift, because I don't need it anymore.

six

I still have a lot to say to him, "If one day you can't live, you can come to me and I will wait." Sow seeds in his heart, make him feel guilty, and make him think about my goodness all the time.

Let him know that he still has a way out, so that he can't stand the injustice.

When there is an opportunity, this seed will take root and sprout, and then I will harvest it.

However, I really want to say to him, "Now that you have decided to get married, don't think about the past and concentrate on living your life." It will be much easier to integrate into the mainstream lifestyle, which is another kind of happiness.

Besides, there is another woman involved. She is the most innocent one.

I have no choice but to vacillate between these two ideas.

seven

Finally, I selfishly sent him a short message: "I will wait until you are thirty-five." If you don't come by then, I'll find someone else. "

I am not innocent, but I am not guilty.

I just like someone.

Life and death are rich, Zi Cheng said, holding your hand and growing old with your son is really the saddest poem. Parting between life and death is a major event beyond our control. Compared with external forces, we are so small, so small! But we have to say, "I want to be with you forever and never part." It seems that we can be masters. -Zhang Ailing

eight

He will get married in half a month, and it has been a week since he moved out. He didn't meet again, and he didn't return my text messages. I wonder how he felt after reading it.

I don't blame anyone for coming this far, because I have realized that I have long held the idea of "earning one more day". I stole the happiness and happiness of these years, and now it's time to give it back.

I don't want to say that this society is unfair. What's the use?

I have always been a coward and have no determination and courage to be a fighter, so I hide in the corner and try to live unnoticed.

nine

At least he is the deputy manager of the department. On the day he moved out, there were still many people to help, subordinates and moving companies. I sat on the sofa in the living room and watched. I stand out in the crowd coming in and out. I was asked to help. I pretended not to hear and tried to control it, but my face still couldn't help becoming ugly.

Those subordinates probably think we have a bad relationship. I made two jokes. When they saw that I didn't answer the phone, they ignored me and smiled perfunctory.

It is often shown on TV and movies. When you leave, others will disappear automatically, leaving only two protagonists.

But until the last time, everything had been moved, and he had to take the past to clean up his new house. Those subordinates clamored for his treat, and we never had a chance to talk alone.

10

I sat on the sofa, carefully catching the movement downstairs, heard his voice, heard the sound of the car starting, stood up and looked on the balcony, and the car was slowly driving away.

I watched it driving on the road, watching it blocked by other buildings, and watching it until it was out of sight.

Clean up all the paper and rubbish he left behind, find a lot of clothes to soak in the basin, and then wipe all the glass.

I have to find something to do.

1 1

He has always been quite resistant to his gay identity, and sometimes I think he will definitely like a girl without me.

He never said that he likes me. Although we live together and we often have sex, he never said this. It seems that saying this is a personal recognition of his identity.

I didn't tell him either, but I wrote it once or twice when I wrote the letter, and I was embarrassed to say the words "I love you".

12

I have had a terrible sleep this week.

Obviously tired, lying in bed will fall into a state of being half asleep and half awake and groggy. Occasionally hear a loud voice, or suddenly think of him. When I think of the past, the whole person immediately wakes up and can't help thinking about it. I couldn't sleep any more, and I slept until dawn.

I tried several times to get up in the middle of the night to read or surf the Internet. I felt tired in less than half an hour, and I still couldn't sleep when I got back to bed.

In college, I formed the habit of staying up late during the day and going out at night. My classmates say I am a night owl.

I have tried sleeping pills, and I really don't like the feeling of waking up after eating them.

After graduation, this habit was slowly corrected, but there are signs of recidivism recently.

13

A story I heard a long time ago. A widow scatters a hundred copper coins every night, and then looks for them one by one, in the corner, under the bed, and it's almost dawn. I know she is lonely, but I just know that I can't empathize.

It's a pity to recall this story now.

14

Now I am almost in this situation. I can't sleep at night, and I will be in a daze after getting up. I won't feel particularly sad, just don't know how to pass the time. He left nothing but loneliness. After thinking about it, he may have to live like this for many years, which makes people feel scared and panic, so he will be afraid and may not last until he is 35 years old.

15

I used to live in the same dormitory when I was a freshman at school, which was the most ignorant and depressing time between them.

One night, I suddenly called his name twice in my sleep, and then I woke up and heard him promise "huh?"

Knowing that he was there, at that moment, I felt very at ease, turned over and went back to sleep.

16

When my sister gave birth to her little nephew, it was a caesarean section. While I was away, my parents and my brother-in-law were there, taking her to the delivery room.

Later, she said to me, "At that time, you must know that your brother-in-law is here, so you can rest assured. In fact, even now, you can't manage anything, and you are not a doctor. You just need to have a look and don't be so afraid. "

This is what husband and wife mean to each other! With the name of husband and wife, whether you love it or not, you are naturally different from others.

So I have heard many such stories. No matter how bad a husband is to his wife, she just won't divorce. Because I occasionally wake up at night and know that there is a person around me who can breathe and gasp. Even if it is useless, it is useless, but he is closer to himself than strangers and friends. Sometimes, his existence is a deep comfort.

17

So I'm still scared. Family and children are fetters that are hard to give up. What should I do if one day, he really doesn't want to leave her and intends to live like this?

18

I received his email yesterday, saying that he missed me and liked me, and asked me not to blame him. Sincere writing, coupled with his tattered writing style, is probably the best thing he has written in his life.

Over and over again, I read and watched, and I had mixed feelings in my heart. I've decided to say so.

I simply repeated the content to my friend and said to her in dismay, "Look at this man, saying that he likes me makes me so sad."

19

I don't blame him, really. Just, no regrets.

We haven't talked about the future in depth. Needless to say, many things are too clear. I know what kind of person he is, and I know that he will get married in the future. It was doomed from the beginning.

He is an experienced man and won't let himself go against the whole custom. If there is no outside vision, maybe two people can live quietly, but there will always be some gossip. The higher the position, the more attention they receive.

20

He may have been worrying about the invitation recently. Do you want to give me one? Every time I think about it, I can't help laughing. I thought of his embarrassing appearance, and he looked silly.

Several students who had a good time will come from other cities to attend the wedding. If they don't see me, they will ask questions. After all, everyone knows that we will still live together after graduation.

Finally, I decided not to go. He is going to marry someone else. He can't expect me to smile and say, "congratulations, a hundred years together." This is a cruel request.

2 1

Before I was ten years old, my family and my grandfather's family were neighbors, so I was raised by them.

Later, my grandfather moved away and moved to my uncle's side. He once said of me and my sister: "Those girls are incomparable, that is, her son, and his idea is called Zheng."

The idea is very good, very opinionated, indicating that you can't listen to others. I don't know how to get this evaluation.

My mother also agreed, saying that I would go all the way to the dark and never look back until I reached the south wall.

Especially now that I'm old, she doesn't care much about me. Only occasionally will I urge to find a girlfriend quickly, saying that a man's life will be much shorter if he is not taken care of by a woman. Attitude is moderate, know that although she always said, I don't refute, but said, what should I do, duplicity.

I tentatively told her several times that I didn't like anyone. I couldn't control myself, let alone marry someone else, so I lived alone all my life.

She's worried.

But celibacy is always more acceptable than homosexuality. In the small town in my hometown, it is closed and backward. I have probably never heard that two men can fall in love, or I simply don't believe that there is such a thing in the world.

22

I've been thinking about whether I should leave this city recently. I stayed here because of him. Now that he's gone, I should go, too. If you stay, you will always realize that he is not far away, his wife is around, and maybe he will have children soon.

Maybe we should go to Beijing for a change and be closer to home.

I wonder what will happen in the future. Maybe from now on, I will deliberately block all news about him.

I yearn for his happiness more than anyone else in the world, but it will be sad to think that this happiness is not my share.

23

The post "Six Chapters of a Floating Life" posted before has been pushed up again. In contrast, there is only a slight sigh.

At that time, I was so happy. The sky was so blue and the trees were so green. Everything seemed to be singing. I said I didn't dare to think about "Forever". It was just a gesture.

Thinking of him, he said, "It's just a lifetime. It's better to find someone who can see."

I can still hear it, but I have fallen from the sky to the ground.

24

The good news is that my classmate took the train from the far north for two nights and insisted on taking a two-week holiday with his tutor.

As mentioned in Six Chapters of a Floating Life, among so many former classmates, he is the only one who knows the inside story. When he graduated, he wrote an article "Not Enough Confidants" for him. The scholar gave him half a piece of paper and everyone laughed.

Several local graduate students heard that he was coming, and they all planned to get together. Getting drunk is a party.

He replied firmly, "Who said I was here for the wedding?"

25

We used to laugh at him for being more upright and self-contained than an ascetic. After four years in college, he went to bed and got up on time. He never goes to the movies, buys snacks or plays truant.

He keeps everyone at a respectful distance from him, even shopping has always been a person. So when he was a senior in high school, he asked me to accompany him to Dingwangtai to find books. He was really flattered at that time.

He sent word that he hadn't come back for a long time, so he took me as a strong man and neither of us would go to the wedding.

To tell you the truth, I am very relieved. If I don't attend, I can't say it. If I go, it's like sending myself back in time. Some people say that the pain is extreme and the wound will heal faster, but I'm not sure I can bear it.

Hearing the news that my husband was getting married, he came all the way from the northeast to accompany me, took the whole thing over and excused me because he thanked him from the bottom of his heart.

Everyone thought that there was any contradiction between him and her husband, begged him in every way, planned to mediate in the middle, and called her husband to make amends for him.

He ignored me, dragged me around the city for two days and revisited the old place.

26

I haven't slept well recently, and my eyes are dry and painful. It's no use taking more eye drops.

I came back from shopping yesterday and felt very tired. I lie on the sofa with my eyes closed.

He sat on the opposite coffee table and asked me how I felt.

This is the first time that we have discussed this problem head-on. Although he knew it before, he wouldn't ask the details of our relationship, and I wouldn't tell him. He is 100% heterosexual, and he will feel uncomfortable about it. I'm also afraid that saying these things will make him uncomfortable or even bored.

But I have no one else to talk to except him. Hearing his pitying tone, I suddenly cried. I have been suppressing patience, trying to pretend as if nothing had happened, and my mood is always gray, which has become a habit. I couldn't cry, but tears kept pouring out and I couldn't breathe. I said to him, "I feel terrible."

27

He has nothing to say. Even a good friend can only interfere in the affairs of two people within a limited scope.

After the talk, I said that I would wait until he was thirty-five. He strongly objected, saying that this was a very unrealistic plan.

28

Emotion is an unrealistic thing. I like this man not because he is handsome or rich. Besides, he is not handsome at all and has no money. I know my husband's shortcomings better than others. He procrastinates and always waits until something urgent before starting to work. He is very stupid, he can't learn English well, and he still has some oil.

But I just like it, I don't know where to start, and there are no strings attached.

"Nankang, Nankang, grow up quickly," someone said in a reply.

I can grow up like many people and find a suitable person to live with. Maybe I don't like it very much, but after a long time, we can always cultivate a little truth, or we can easily break up and find another lover.

Or simply be the most practical person, hug and kiss at night, and become a stranger at dawn.

Of course I can. I'm just afraid that nothing can compare with this one, because it's not him, and when I wake up, I'm only doubly empty and lonely.

So many times, I am not unwilling to wait, but have to wait-I know that I can become such a person, and I will never meet the second one in my life.

29

People often say that time is the greatest, and everything will be exhausted by it, whether it is happiness or sadness, it will eventually pass.

I can only move forward slowly. Maybe many years later, I will recall what happened today. At that time, I may have someone else in my heart.

Maybe I'm still waiting, but I don't remember why I insisted.

Or maybe, he has come back to me.

30

Look at the crowds coming and going in the street. Everyone is in a hurry. When we met, we looked cold. No one can read the stories behind others. No one knows if there is such a person alive in other people's hearts.

end

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Seeing that someone sent six notes about floating life, I had to send this.

This is worth remembering. Sad again.