Funny: Duan Zishou is either poor or ugly. I don't know where to squeeze the subway.

1, because he made a mistake, he was punished by his wife all day. In the evening, my wife asked me, "Remember why I told you to kneel?"

I said, "I don't remember."

"Oh, it seems that kneeling is not enough?"

"No, no, no, it's because many people forget things."

2. "Mom, do you know Zhang Xiaoxian?"

"Yes, isn't that good man me and I am Zhang Xiaoxian?"

"My God, that's Ceng Xiaoxian!"

3. When I came home at noon on weekends, my father asked me: Have you eaten?

I said, I ate a little outside.

Dad said, how can you just eat something? You have to eat a big meal anyway! You wait, I'll heat the leftovers for you.

Me. . .

4. Halfway through the meal, my mother threw me a bowl and scolded, "People in their thirties have nothing to do every day. What contribution have you made to this family! "

I bowed my head and said nothing with tears in my eyes. In order to resolve this embarrassing situation, the father sang softly: "The old people don't want their children to make much contribution to the family. . . "

My mother slapped my father: "Who is old? ! "

She gave me a look and said, "What's the use? Duan Zishou is either poor or ugly, and I don't know where to squeeze the subway. "

6. The company will hold a year-end meeting. My colleague has been informed and is making preparations. I went to ask the leader, "Why not arrange the task?"

The leader said, "You have a meeting."

I asked, "I'm not on the meeting group list either?"

The secretary hurriedly explained, "you understand wrong. We can't lead Mandarin, and it doesn't matter whether it is abolished or not. " . . . "

7. Zhang Jie asked Li Jie to sweep the new year's goods after work!

Sister Li asked, "Didn't your husband just come back from a business trip for a month? You don't accompany him at night? "

Sister Zhang smiled and sang, "There are five words floating in the sky! That's nothing, it's just a matter of time, and it will be over in one minute! "

8. I received a scam message: "This is a video of your wife secretly opening a room with someone. Please click on the link below! "

I cried as soon as I saw it and moved over: "Dude, you are the only one who said that I have been single for so long and have a wife."

After a while, the other side replied, which makes sense: you'd better have a look, maybe it's your future wife. . .

9. My parents always say that I "watch cartoons all day, just like a child".

I generally refute that comics are different from comics. The former is like a little boy going to a women's bathhouse, but it doesn't make sense to look at it; " The latter is like an old man looking at a beautiful woman. Seeing that the surface is calm, the brain is actually finished. "

10, a: "I know I will succeed in my life!"

B: "Not necessarily. What if your children and grandchildren bury you? ! "