A complete collection of funny short messages about constellations

A complete collection of funny short messages about constellations

1, Libra Rule 1: Try to understand him, tolerate him, and have the ability to make decisions for him. Rule 2: Always be charming. Rule 3: Show that you expect a quiet and comfortable life.

2. Libra: With the increase of social activities, the opportunities to contact all kinds of opposite sex are gradually increasing, and the choices are naturally increasing. Let go of your nitpicking and dissatisfaction and get a better chance of getting married.

3, constellation to see personality, understand people Yijinjing: Cancer people are rich in feelings. I am friendly and humble to the outside world, quite public-minded, gentle and introverted, but have a strong defensive instinct, and I don't want my private life to be disturbed. Very nostalgic, very traditional.

4. Leo: Lions with company may bring bad feelings to each other because of work pressure. Remember to adjust your mind after work and face each other with relaxed eyes.

5, 12 constellation favorite SMS king list: Scorpio; Water bottle; Lions; Virgin; Taurus; Shooter; Gemini; Pisces; Aries; Libra; Cancer; Capricorn. Look where you are!

6. Libra's biggest problem is indecision and likes to escape from reality. They demand balance in everything. Maintaining a deep relationship with others is their goal in life. They are most likely to feel lonely and often feel empty in their hearts.

7. Three pairs of constellations that want to live together in love: the shepherd and the cancer girl. It is important to work hard, but I want to settle down early; Virgo and Pisces don't want to lose each other; Taurus and Scorpio are in full swing when their feelings are strong.

8. Pisces: Health Fortune: A strong constellation, even if you don't have to worry about unnecessary troubles such as cold germs, as long as you study and live in a down-to-earth manner, there will be no health problems.

9. Aquarius: Special reminder: It is very important for couples to communicate with each other. If you already have children, don't neglect your concern for your partner. Otherwise he will feel unloved by you.

10, Leo: the biggest weakness in learning is to love fantasy, but if you think too much, you will easily get lost. Ask teachers and classmates when you encounter problems. It is easy for a person to walk into a dead end by thinking hard.

1 1, Pisces, willful and coquettish, gives people a feeling of immaturity. Ambiguity, lack of self-confidence, easy to be influenced and lost. Weak-willed and easy to talk, afraid to refuse other people's demands. Lack of ability to resist temptation.

12, constellation to see personality, Yijinjing interpretation: Sagittarius people are straightforward and cheerful, have a sense of justice, pay attention to spiritual life, like philosophical thinking, optimistic, bold and adventurous, and love freedom and independence.

13, Scorpio: Wealth: There will be good progress this month, and both positive and negative fortunes are very prosperous, but don't be too greedy and hasty. It is advisable to plan your own money, otherwise the pressure of money will become greater.

14, Scorpio: learning: I am quite agile this month. But it seems that my mind is not necessarily on study, just thinking about something that has nothing to do with study. If you want to be respected as a principal, you must use your brain in your study.

15, rule 1 of Aquarius: prove that you can be independent and indifferent (measured by his standards). Rule 2: Keep what attracts each other. Rule 3: Remember that spiritual interaction is your protagonist!

16, Sagittarius Rule 1: Be his lover and his good friend. Rule 2: Be willing to participate in outdoor activities and share his adventurous spirit. Rule 3: Have a positive and cheerful outlook on life and always keep a sense of humor.

17, constellation to see personality, Yijinjing interpretation: Cancer people have rich feelings. I am friendly and humble to the outside world, quite public-minded, gentle and introverted, but have a strong defensive instinct, and I don't want my private life to be disturbed. Very nostalgic, very traditional.

18, Leo: Wealth is better and there are more opportunities to make money. However, you are hesitant about investing, and you care about other people's opinions. Under the impact of all kinds of information and suggestions, you have no direction and it is easy to miss some business opportunities.

19, Taurus: single, you have the opportunity to meet all kinds of opposite sex this month. Maybe you will meet the right person, but you are passive and lack motivation. You should give yourself more confidence and pursue happiness bravely.

20. Leo: Lions with companions are expected to leave many good memories for each other. Each other will cherish every minute together, strive to create happiness and laughter for each other, and the relationship will continue to heat up.

2 1, Aries: If you have a partner, you may have a good time this month. I suggest you don't argue with each other. Don't let each other live the way we like. You should respect each other's point of view and be patient and calm.

22, Taurus: Good health fortune, but pay more attention to psychological problems. When you encounter something, you should guide yourself to think about the positive side of it. Don't be too sad. It is not worth getting along with yourself.

23. Gemini Rule 1: Keep your mouth moving and never let him feel bored. Rule 2: Be his best friend first, then draw out his hidden enthusiasm, not too fast! Rule 3: Keep a sense of humor and mystery.

24. Three pairs of constellations that want to live together in love: the shepherd and the cancer girl. It is important to work hard, but I want to settle down early; Virgo and Pisces don't want to lose each other; Taurus and Scorpio are in full swing when their feelings are strong.

25. Constellations can be obtained for nothing. First place: Pisces; Second place: Taurus; Third place: cancer; Fourth place: Scorpio; Fifth place: Aries.

26, Aquarius: Health: This month, you need to pay attention to a balanced diet and a moderate taste. We can't overeat or eat irregularly for three or five days. Other aspects are not bad.

27, Pisces: Work: There are many new tasks this month, and even some areas that you have not touched. If you can use the pioneering spirit to face new challenges, you will be more excited.

28, Scorpio: This month's fortune is flat. I don't have enough confidence in myself, and I often feel at a loss, but sometimes I feel unwilling and want to work hard. I'm exhausted. I suggest making adjustments and seeing the direction clearly before starting.

29, Aquarius MM generally does not make "stupid" mistakes, if there is, you will still die. Think she's a little puzzling? She's just too sober. "Silly girl" index: 10. Killing skill: live a clean life.

30. Cancer: In terms of health, because of their good work attitude and hard work, their seriousness makes them work overtime, so even the best health will be exhausted.

3 1, Aquarius: This month's fortune will be improved in many aspects of work, and the fortune of study is also better. Good luck is a bit incredible. In addition, the sign of Aquarius transformation indicates that the image will improve.

32. Aquarius: In terms of wealth, this month's wealth was good and the capital turnover was smooth. As long as you use your brains more and use proper strategies, you can easily get the ideal investment channels and the help of your friends.

33. Leo: The biggest weakness in learning is that you love fantasy, but if you think too much, you will easily get lost. Ask teachers and classmates when you encounter problems. It is easy for a person to walk into a dead end by thinking hard.

34. Pisces: Work: There are many new tasks this month, and even some areas you haven't touched yet. If you can use the pioneering spirit to face new challenges, you will be more excited.

35. Aquarius: In terms of wealth, this month's wealth was good and the capital turnover was smooth. As long as you use your brains more and use proper strategies, you can easily get the ideal investment channels and the help of your friends.

Constellation funny classic short message

Sagittarius: Huh? This ghost MM looks good! Absolutely, maybe only a shooter can think so. ^_^

Sagittarius:

Teacher: The exam is coming. The test paper has been handed over to the printing house. You should review well. Do you have any questions to ask? Student: Which printing factory is it?

Scorpio: You damn fool! Don't come to see me for so many years! Let's go for coffee together! Scorpio is related to these things. Do you believe Scorpio and Ghost are old friends for many years? ^_^

Virgo: Pull the skirt of the female ghost and say: Why is it so dirty? Will you pay attention to hygiene? Hurry back and wash! Ghost: This man is too picky! ^_^

Leo: What's wrong! How dare you be presumptuous under the nose of this king! So, in fact, the face-saving lion may be afraid! ^_^

Cancer: Ah! Are you the ghost of Grandma Zhang's granddaughter next door? Long time no see! Let's get together! As for the question that she is a ghost, crab crab may have forgotten.

Gemini: Like discovering a new continent, I shouted excitedly: I saw a ghost! I saw a ghost! Go door to door and say: I saw a ghost! (Ghost: Don't pass it around, ok? I'm completely confused! )

Taurus: Talk counts: Radish costs 30 cents, vegetables 80 cents and peppers 50 cents. Don't worry, it is impossible for a girl who concentrates on calculating money to see a ghost.

Aries: I stare! I'm watching! I'm watching! Play a game of looking at ghosts first, then sprint 100 meters and run away immediately. Haha, are you dumbfounded? !

Aquarius: Look at my bottle! Take out any peach swords, painting symbols and garlic and throw them to ghosts. Ghost: Come on, I'm not a zombie, make a mountain out of a molehill! )

Taurus:

I want to tell you a secret of getting rich, which can double your money. Don't tell anyone! Come on, take out a hundred dollars and fold it in half. Look, is it doubled?

Leo:

Wave when you are happy, stomp when you are happy, shake your head when you are happy ... crazy!

Virgo:

The cold drink hall sells a new product called heartache, a glass of 20 yuan. I bought a penny out of curiosity. Wow, it really hurts. Just a cup of boiled water!

Libra:

Two drunks are walking on the tracks. One complaint: Why didn't the stairs finish? The other snorted and said that its armrest was still so low.

Scorpio:

A telephone has just been installed in the dormitory. The head of the dormitory of 1 10 asked the roommate to answer the phone in a standardized way: the bell rang, picked up the receiver and said, Hello, this is 1 10.

Cancer:

The tortoise said to the mouse, I work in a five-star hotel! That's bullshit！ Really, they made soup from my bath water just now.

Scorpio:

Mosquito begged his mother to allow him to go to the theatre. Mom finally agreed: well, you can go, but you must be careful of applause!

Aquarius:

In swimming class, teacher: whoever doesn't get into the water, I'll cross his name off the list; Student: I'm afraid my name will be crossed out of my account after I get into the water.

Aries:

If you get on a wooden bridge and walk to the middle, only to find a tiger in front and a wolf behind, how do you get there? The answer is: passed out.

Pisces:

Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There are at most three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, even. You are like a dog.

Capricorn: I looked at a female ghost seriously, then snorted loudly and strode away. It makes no sense to leave the ghost there. Capricorn: Boss, you don't have to pretend to be a ghost to scare me! )^0^

Funny quotations from constellation women

1, Sagittarius: Don't stop me, I like to take a bath in leather shoes! 2. Aries: I am not the first in the world or tied for the first!

3. Cancer: Please! Don't make me do such a tiring thing as bending over to pick up money!

4. Leo: I am willing to pay10 million yuan. Let me forget your last piece of stinky tofu!

5, Scorpio: finally solved the last person! Now no one knows that I just picked my nose!

6. Taurus: Think again, can't it be cheaper? I'll just sit by and wait. Don't go.

7. Pisces: Stop it and say it! I'm almost crying! Are you really that pathetic: you only eat two taels a meal?

8. Gemini: Hey! Dude. I'll tell you a strange thing, but don't tell anyone: my poop is yellow today!

9. virgo: ok, let me analyze it with you. Three hours later, what, don't you understand? Ok, I'll tell you from the beginning!

10, Libra: Auntie, have you ever seen a handsome guy like me? Let me in! I can't hold on any longer! Why don't I sing you a song

1 1, Capricorn: Really! 10: 2 1: 30. The boss asked you to put the file I gave you yesterday 17: 40, 12 seconds in the third blue folder on the left of his desk. Remember it's his left!

12, Aquarius: Just eat shark fin at noon! I want to lose weight. Do you think it is interesting to travel to Mars? Alas, no one takes out the garbage in my house! That woman over there is very beautiful. It's almost the weekend. Hey, where did people go?

Extract some phrases about constellations.

Extract some phrases about constellations.

1, Leo: Leo's horoscope this month can be said to be neither bad nor bad. There are two things to be happy about, one is further work, and the other is the stable period of love.

2. Aquarius Rule 1: Prove that you can be independent and indifferent (measured by his standards). Rule 2: Keep what attracts each other. Rule 3: Remember that spiritual interaction is your protagonist!

3. Virgo Rule 1: Smile at any criticism. Rule 2: Show that you really want to know everything about him. Rule 3: Appreciate Virgo's sense of responsibility for work dedication.

4, Libra: Wealth: This month's wealth is better, even if it is unintentional, there is Liu's good luck. Using your financial knowledge and combining with the good advice of friends and family, it is easy to get rich profits.

5, Taurus: You are single, and most of your contacts with the opposite sex are as light as water. If you want to change this situation, you can choose a lively occasion to date. A warm atmosphere can break the deadlock between you two and make the relationship closer.

6, Cancer, fickle as long as you are in a bad mood, you will put on a face and ignore others. Bring up the past and say the same thing over and over again. I don't have the courage to challenge reality and worry about things that haven't happened yet.

7. Leo: Lions with partners may bring bad feelings to each other because of work pressure. Remember to adjust your mind after work and face each other with relaxed eyes.

8. Cancer: Health: Your physical condition has improved this month. Learn to be kind to yourself, go to bed early, get up early and eat on time. But don't forget to keep exercising to keep healthy.

9. Capricorn: The contradiction between Capricorn and your partner and lover can be solved very well this month, and further communication is needed to restore the original feeling.

10, Pisces: Good chance this month. If you can master them well, you can make great progress. You can gain something from your study, work and life, and you can also experience new things and explore new interests in leisure and entertainment.

1 1, Virgo: impatient at work, emotionally unstable and prone to mistakes. You are not only concerned about the immediate work, but also eager to undertake more challenging tasks in order to show your talents.

12, Taurus: Work and study: The focus is on the work, there is no appointment time at all, but you have the opportunity to get a promotion, raise your salary or meet a noble person, but don't let your body have problems because of stress.

13, Sagittarius: The results are somewhat unsatisfactory, and you can get good results in science. Your thinking is getting clearer and clearer, and your patience has improved. Pay attention to the relationship with teachers and classmates, and the gains will be more obvious.

14, Pisces: This month's fortune is relatively stable and healthy. In love, appropriately increasing your charm will help to improve the luck of love; Excellent performance at work; We should manage our finances carefully to prevent the economic crisis.

15, constellation to see personality, Yijinjing interpretation: Taurus people are gentle and solid in character, calm in temperament, strong in endurance, cautious, possessive, stubborn, pursuing perfection, humorous and humorous, and often get the favor of friends.

16, Leo Rule 1: First impression Rule 3: Warm, smart and witty Rule 2: Let Leo know that he or she is not only your only one, but also your favorite. Rule 3: Be a man (woman) with unique skills and superb skills.

17, black list constellation: Scorpio: high-pressure work will inevitably make you feel irritable and easily affect others. Libra: It's easy to offend people in the workplace without knowing it. Leo: I'm a little unhappy.

18, the older you get, the happier you are. Constellation ranking: first place: Sagittarius second place: Scorpio third place: Libra fourth place: Taurus fifth place: Leo sixth place: Virgo.

19, Sagittarius: healthy fortune: Sagittarius, jumping and jumping, in good health, don't worry about your own problems, but you may have to prevent accidental injuries caused by carelessness.

20, Pisces: health fortune: a relatively strong constellation, even do not have to worry about unnecessary troubles such as cold germs, as long as the study and life are not tossed, there will be no health problems.

2 1, Cancer: Once you have a whim, your monthly salary will be spent. Small shops like Taobao, but famous shops don't show their faces. Make a consumption plan, don't try to be a temporary scenery. Don't go to the clothing store when you are in a bad mood.

22, constellation to see personality, understand people Yijinjing: Sagittarius people are straightforward and cheerful, have a sense of justice, pay attention to spiritual life, like philosophical thinking, optimistic, bold and adventurous, and love freedom and independence.

23. Taurus: Wealth: The trend of wealth has increased slightly this month. There will be many investment opportunities, and even a sense of dazzling. Don't worry too much, you can observe it calmly for a while before you start.

24, Virgo: Work seems impatient, mood is difficult to stabilize, and it is easy to make mistakes. You are not only concerned about the immediate work, but also eager to undertake more challenging tasks in order to show your talents.

25, the older the happier constellation ranking: first place: Sagittarius second place: Scorpio third place: Libra fourth place: Taurus fifth place: Leo sixth place: Virgo.

26. Travel to relieve work pressure in Capricorn, choose Zhongdian, Yunnan, Selimu Lake, Xinjiang, sunny and quiet night market, flowers and plants, small bridges and flowing water, so that you can calm down and feel the power of nature.

27. Capricorn: The work is going well. Although I encountered many hardships, I was solved by Capricorn. Rich work experience has to say that Capricorn has more capital than others.

28, Scorpio, jealousy is because of fear of losing what you love, and jealousy is very strong. Secrecy keeps your inner world from being understood by others. But I really want to hear other people's voices. Stubbornness Once other people's opinions are different from their own, they generally won't accept other people's opinions.

29. Cancer: sunshine index of mood: five stars; Health status index: three stars; Love state index: four stars; Lucky person of this month: Gemini; Place of shipment: Museum.

30. Although Taurus MM shows a silly look, she is born with a keen sense of money, allowing them to control your wallet and ultimately everything. "Silly girl" index: 50. Killing skills: dress up as a pig and eat a tiger.

3 1, Aries rule 1: Make meeting for the first time a challenge. Rule 2: Show your autonomy and independence, and don't be pushed around by others. Rule 3: Let him take the initiative and stay calm-at least at the beginning.

32. Virgo: Students are more enthusiastic about learning, but sometimes they appear impetuous. When doing problems, I prefer to do problems with high difficulty coefficient and ignore the basic knowledge.

33. Pisces, a constellation that loves to lie: the lying index is 99%; Libra: the lying index is 90%; Scorpio: the lying index is 80%; Aries: the lying index is 70%; Gemini: The lying index is 60%.

34. Taurus: Lucky person of the month: Cancer; Beware of villains this month: Sagittarius; Noble orientation: northwest; Delivery items: baseball wallet; Delivery place this month: Electrical Appliance City.

35. Pisces: Work: There are many new tasks this month, and even some areas you haven't touched yet. If you can use the pioneering spirit to face new challenges, you will be more excited.

36. Leo: Lions with company may bring bad feelings to each other because of work pressure. Remember to adjust your mind after work and face each other with relaxed eyes.

37. Aries: The overall fortune has risen this month. Everything that bothered you before has made progress one after another, and everything has gradually become smooth. As long as you don't give up your efforts and do it in the right direction, everything will have a good result.

38. Black List Constellation: Scorpio: High-pressure work will inevitably make you feel irritable and easily affect others. Libra: It's easy to offend people in the workplace without knowing it. Leo: I'm a little unhappy.