Funny text messages to my wife

About teasing

Wife: Little girl, come over and have fun with me...

Husband: Are you itchy again?

Wife: Hey, that’s pretty cool. I just like a girl like you, who looks like a man!

Husband: ...

About washing the dishes

Husband: Go wash the dishes.

Wife: OK.

Husband: Then why don’t you move?

Wife: I have a headache.

Husband: I’m so lazy. I won’t give you a headache even if I don’t let you wash the dishes.

Wife: Really! The thought of washing dishes gives me a headache.

About taking things

Wife: You should also take this bag.

Husband: I already have four bags, but you don’t take anything. Are you sorry?

Wife: Then I’m still holding your arm! You weigh more than 100 kilograms. The things I hold are not much heavier than the things you hold.

About walking

Wife: Let’s walk all the way to that road.

Husband: It’s too far to get there, and I won’t be able to walk back for a while.

Wife: It’s okay, just carry me back.

About buying clothes

Wife: Do these clothes look good?

Husband: It looks good.

Wife: You just deal with me and want me to finish shopping and go home quickly!

Wife: Do those clothes look good?

Husband: It doesn’t look good.

Wife: You are reluctant to buy it for me!

About doing housework

Husband: Let’s divide the housework.

Wife: OK. First of all, men should do the dirty work, such as mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet, wiping the table...

Husband: That's right.

Wife: You are studying science and engineering, and I am studying liberal arts. You have to do the things that carry electricity, such as washing machines, refrigerators, rice cookers, electric irons...

Husband: This is...ok!

Wife: The man is the master outside, the woman is the master inside. You have to do the work of dealing with outsiders, buying groceries, paying utility bills, getting newspapers and milk...

Husband: OK, OK, what do you do?

Wife: Don’t worry. There is so much fumes in the kitchen that it can damage your skin, so you have to do the cooking.

Husband: Just tell me what you do.

Wife: I also have a lot to do. I can accompany you, supervise you, praise you, comfort you...

About the child

Wife: Let’s have a child.

Husband: OK.

Wife: Do you like our child?

Husband: I like it.

Wife: That won’t work! You just have to like me!

Husband: Okay, okay, I just like you.

Wife: Then why don’t you like my child?

Husband: Let’s… it’s better not to have children.

About the truth

Wife: Look, that girl is so beautiful.

Husband: What does it look like?

Wife: What do you mean! Why don't you stick with me!

Husband: It looks good.

Husband: Hey, don’t leave. Why are you ignoring me?

About eating

Wife: I ate half of this plum. It’s quite delicious. I’ll give you the rest.

Husband: I don’t like plum blossoms.

Wife: No, you just like to eat! Do you dislike what I have eaten?