What's your state of mind when your ex-husband sends a message to care about you? Is it pity or want to save it?

Judging from the interaction between you, it is still a normal relationship. In addition, from the description, we can see that you love him more than he loves you, because you are more tolerant of his behavior, and your boyfriend may be more masculine, with a casual attitude towards women and a lack of care. But you belong to the type of little woman. The personality differences between you lead to the imbalance of your relationship, which will be disharmonious for a long time.

To sum up, your psychology is not mature enough, and your boyfriend is not attentive enough to you. I think you need to put yourself in a correct position, not a dependent position.