A joke about the hot weather

First, the puppet made a girlfriend and was full of joy. A few days later, my girlfriend suddenly said, Puppet, I don't want to talk to you ML anymore. It hurts to be poked by sawdust every time! The sad puppet went to the carpenter to find a way. The carpenter said to him, this is simple. You just need to grind it with sandpaper. A few days later, the colloquialist asked: Have you made up with your girlfriend? The puppet replied, who needs a girlfriend with that sandpaper?

second, it's so hot that I have less urine!

third, in this weather, all the people who can go out with you on an appointment are friends of life and death!

fourth, the charm of summer wind brings you good luck, and the voice of summer rain wishes you good health, beautiful summer flowers and long-lasting happiness. The hot summer is here, I wish you a happy summer! Remember to forward it!

fifth, don't forget to drink porridge in hot weather, and it won't be uncomfortable in the dog days; Mung bean porridge quenches thirst except annoyance, and lotus seed porridge is refreshing; Red beans and jujube promote blood circulation and invigorate qi, and banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; Porridge should not be too salty, and it is easy to drink in summer.

nuwa: I really regret that I didn't cover the sun when I was mending the sky last time.

Seventh, it was too hot to sleep last night. lz suggested getting up for activities, so the dormitory collectively got up to fight the landlord, and those who lost got dressed. . . Alas, it's all tears. . . . . Four down jackets. . .

8. It's very hot. The sun just came out, and it's already a burning sky.

IX. Cousin got married and offered a glass of Coca-Cola ... When I drank it, I cried with my daughter-in-law ... and moved all the guests and friends ... Only I knew that I secretly put mustard in his Coke, which made me famous.

X. It was said that Wuhan was a stove in summer, and I really experienced the taste of "Regan Noodles" after I went there.

Xi. Miss in spring, love in summer, blessings in autumn and wishes in winter. Meet in this life and be happy every day; Love in this life, love you forever; The oath of this life will not change. May our love last forever.

XII. Tell you several quick ways to relieve summer heat: besides looking in the mirror, looking at the balance of the bank card, pinching your stomach and looking at your sweetheart's QQ invisibility. Is my heart cold now?

XIII. After intense light radiation, scorching sun, strong wind, lightning attack, mosquito bite and rain wash, this short message finally reaches your mobile phone and says to you: Pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot summer. The weather changes, pay attention to your health!

14th, at work in the morning, on the bus, I found that several people around me were looking at me strangely. I ignored their eyes, pointed and poked, and whispered, and my only thought at this moment was to show them a stirring song "Above the Moon" with a knockoff machine. Finally, an old woman pointed at my little brother and said, "Kid, are you wearing your clothes backwards?" I looked down, yes, I wore the inside of the T-shirt to the outside, and then I realized that their strange eyes were only for looking at 2B. I want to be a seven-foot man, so I can't stand the eyes of this group of laymen. So I made an earth-shattering decision now, and I took off my clothes and turned them back to put them on in front of the public. I just took off my clothes and found that everyone's eyes changed again. How can I describe it to you? For example, they just looked at 2B implicitly, but now this kind of eyes is absolutely naked and not implicit. Gee, I threw a contemptuous look at this group of laity, and then looked down at my clothes. This bow finally made me understand why the eyes of this group of laity were so vivid. It turned out that the bra my daughter-in-law drew for me last night was still vivid … So my head suddenly became empty, and there was only one voice left in my ear: hooves, hooves, ou, ou … < P > 15, "You and me.

XVI. Tell the person you like. If the person you like refuses you, your heart will get cold! It won't be hot!

18. I suddenly remembered a deskmate in junior high school, who is really a god. This god often doesn't wash his hands for several days, and his hands are black. Oh, my God. One day, the teacher told me to check the overall hygiene, including personal hygiene, the next morning, the god still didn't wash as usual, and the class was about to start. I was holding his hand for him when I saw that the god borrowed a roll of magnetic tape from the previous classmate, wrapped his hands tightly, and then pulled it open … His hands were white! White! White!

nineteen, don't ask me how old I am, just ask me how mature I am!

2. Don't argue with a fool, or others will not know who the fool is.

21. It's so hot that I can't think. I need to find a place to cool off.

twenty-two, now I find that "stay where you are cool" is really not an abusive word. It is definitely the most sincere concern and the deepest hidden love.

twenty-three, the heat is unbearable in the hot summer, so I'll teach you a wonderful way to cool off the heat: when the sun is in the sky at noon, exercise hard in the open space without shelter, and once you get heatstroke, you can cool off the heat. This is called fighting poison with poison and attacking "summer heat" with "summer heat".

twenty-four, God, you want everyone to know that this summer has been contracted by Flame Mountain!

twenty-five, a childlike innocence, the harvest is happiness; An endless belief, the harvest is success; A healthy body gains peace; A friend who cares forever gains happiness. Friend, give you my deep blessing and reap sweet happiness! The weather changes, pay attention to your health!

how often do you take a bath in winter? -In winter, take a bath. . .

27. Yesterday afternoon, there was hot weather in Lanzhou, Gansu. After a few hours of shopping with his girlfriend, a young man suddenly fainted to the ground and was unconscious. The girlfriend was frightened, so she quickly dialed 12 to send her boyfriend to the hospital for rescue. The doctor said it was nothing serious, but heatstroke.

XXVIII. He Xiangu: I don't wear sunscreen. I only wear sunscreen leaves and lotus leaves (Ouye)!

Twenty-nine, I will give you a Saqima, and happiness will take you as a target; Give you a piece of soft bread, and your troubles will disappear; Give you a glass of orange granules, knock on the door every day happily, and give you a glass of wine. Good luck will be your watchdog!

thirty, I just want to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall!

thirty-one, protect yourself, love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people ~

thirty-two, Bai Longma: Once a little dragon in the sea, now he is dying of the sun. On the way to get the scriptures, the hoof faces west, and everywhere looks like a water dispenser.

thirty-three, summer is coming, the weather is hot, and there are many girls, glistening thighs! However, although girls nowadays dress more dangerously than one, they look safer than one ...

34. I don't usually send messages, but I only send creative messages if I want to! In the past, cliches were laughed at. Now, if you try your best, you have to make a high profile. If you say it, you are not afraid of being wonderful, simple but not simple: pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot weather.

thirty-five, suddenly a little sad: when I was a child, there seemed to be fewer and fewer trees and ponds to cool down. How did you spend such a hot summer? Would you like to go back to the days when there was no air conditioning and only fans, shade trees and mosquito nets?

thirty-six, the table is too hot, the mahjong has just been coded, and it is burnt.

thirty-seven, this weather is like an oven. I really can't stand it. It's almost cooked.

thirty-eight, friends from Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai, the central heating you desperately demanded eight months ago has finally come true!

39. Recently, I saw someone say that a girl with conservation of energy will heat up once she is cool, but a girl who is long and safe will heat up once. No matter how cool a girl is, a man will only cool down but not heat up. The weather is hot. Funny jokes

First, I am your weather forecast. I will send you cool when it is hot, and warm you when it is cold. Just because you are my best friend, your concern is always by my side. I wish you peace and happiness!

second, ask where the bedroom is so cold, sell the matron and buy the air conditioner! Who is not hot in life since ancient times, selling housekeepers and buying air conditioners! Ten years of hot death, selling housekeepers and buying air conditioners! Affectionate waste heat from ancient times, sell housekeepers and buy air conditioners! If the relationship is hot for a long time, sell the matron and buy the air conditioner! Don't you see, the meaning of coolness comes from the sky, selling housekeepers and buying air conditioners! I'm talking about teenage fever, selling housekeepers and buying air conditioners!

Third, Fujian was rated as the province with the lowest joke in the country, only because the local people shouted unanimously in the face of the fierce sun: I am so happy (hot) ...

Fourth, what is the minimum standard for being friends with you? -it has to be human.

5. One day, a rabbit unfortunately fell into a box and turned into a duck when it came out. Do you know why? Because there is a transformer in the box ...

Sixth, I bought an egg and turned into a chicken! I bought a mat and turned it into an electric blanket! The car didn't light itself! Meet strangers, smile at each other and become acquaintances! The table was too hot, and the mahjong was burnt just after it was coded! Pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot weather!

Seventh, the summer is scorching, and the mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot and you can run around in shorts; When it's hot, plug an ice cream and the bathtub bubbles; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Trouble is put down on the spot, happy and happy.

8. As soon as I got to work, I received a short message from my mobile phone, reminding me that it is hot today, so I should pay attention to heatstroke prevention.

9. The hot setting sun outside the window shines on the vast grassland, but there is no figure, which makes people feel that they have entered the primitive zone.

ten, take the bus in summer, and hate those who wear short skirts and cross their legs to show her lace underwear. Whenever I see these people, I will always stare at them with my angry eyes, indicating that I am angry!

11. This year is a leap year, and April is added. Happiness increases laughter, health increases health, good luck increases happy events, friendship increases happiness, salary increases financial resources, and love increases warmth. See you. In the days of leap year, I wish you more laughter and happiness. The weather changes, pay attention to your health!

12. In recent days, the high temperature persists, and you suffer from the heat every day. Pay attention to cherish yourself, don't be too tired at work, eat more fruits during the day, and go to sleep at night. Don't worry about the fire when something happens. It is precious to nourish your heart and protect your lungs. You and I know each other as friends. The above reminder is free!

XIII. Sitting in a dark room with no electricity in this weather, touching the straw mat underneath, I suddenly understood the mood of steamed buns.

14th, Jade Emperor: Heaven has mastered the core technology and will soon install a giant central air conditioner on Lingxiao Hall.

15. Lan Caihe: I want to get some water to take a shower, but I always draw water with nothing.

open the door, headmaster. You have the ability to open the door! Don't hide in it and make no noise. I know your room has air conditioning! Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door!

Seventeen. Just now, a child was kicked off the bus, and a group of people applauded. Why? Then Xiong Haizi is singing "It's enough to plant one seed, and many suns will grow ... every corner of the world is extremely bright"

18. Buy a mat, and it will turn into an electric blanket when you sleep!

Nineteen, they were all plucked up before they could get involved in philandering.

Twenty, Heavenly Mother: I think it's better to change the flat peach banquet into a water-splashing festival, so that everyone can cool off.

21st, I received an inexplicable message one day: "Let's break up and never contact again." I guess it was a lovelorn person who sent it wrong. Out of kindness, I replied, "You sent it wrong, I don't know you." A moment later, I received another message: "You are cruel enough to pretend that you don't know each other so quickly. Ok, I am blind."

twenty-two, the current weather, tap water can directly soak instant noodles!

twenty-three, from now on, in the next period of time, there will be a person with the highest number of deaths, and people will announce his death all the time. His name is "Hot"!

twenty-four, the stone tables and chairs in the park were scalded by the sun, and the paint on the pillars in the pavilion was baked, giving off an unpleasant smell of paint.

25. Nezha: hot wheels stepped on the steam wheel in cold weather and the wind wheel in hot weather.

26. I spent 15 yuan on a very abstract haircut today. After returning to the dormitory, I was strongly criticized by several roommates! At this time, a classmate who had been silent for a long time concluded: "This hairstyle is very cost-effective! I only spent 15 yuan and got a 25-dollar haircut. "

27. "It's so hot, go and take the fan to your father and them. ""how many? ""hey! You dead girl! If you don't take it, don't take it! Die and swear! ! ""... "

Twenty-eight. A boyfriend and girlfriend have a showdown. Female: Give me a reason to break up. M: We are not suitable. W: What's wrong? M: The gender is inappropriate.

twenty-nine, the sun shines on you, and the darkness is far away from you; Smile is blooming on you, and troubles ignore you; Happy with you, lonely without looking for you; Happiness surrounds you, fatigue doesn't bother you. I wish you a regular life and good health every day! The weather changes, pay attention to your health!

3. It takes a month for a wild goose to fly from south in autumn, but it takes two months to fly from south to north in summer. Do you know why? ..... Because it's hot in summer, it has to fan the wind with one wing', wish a cool summer!

thirty-one, in the hot summer, I asked sister caterpillar to bring you some intimate kisses, and I asked aunt mosquito to sing a lullaby for you every night. Don't be polite to me, there are better gifts for you!

thirty-two, gently, the wind is blowing; Moist, friendship is nourishing; Gorgeous, flowers are blooming; Strong, friendship is sublimation; Really, thoughts are flying; Warm, friends are greeting: May you be happy and carefree! The weather changes, pay attention to your health!

thirty-three, I almost died in the sun. This sun is really warm. Didn't your mother call you home for dinner?

on the 34th night, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, maybe there was an accident!" "

35. Miss in spring, love in summer, blessings in autumn and wishes in winter. Meet in this life and be happy every day; Love in this life, love you forever; The oath of this life will not change. May our love last forever. Funny jokes about hot weather

1. It's hot in summer and my mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot and you can run around in shorts; When it's hot, plug an ice cream and the bathtub bubbles; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Trouble is put down on the spot, happy and happy.

2. I saw a dollar on the road today, but I didn't pick it up after thinking for a long time, for fear of scalding myself! ! !

3. Why do so many people say it's hot? . . Actually, it's okay. . . I always feel that the heat will get hotter and hotter. . . If you really can't do it, give it to the person you like

4. "Do I know you well?" "Well, soon!" They stood in the sun and said!

5. Mind-cooling method: imagine that you are caught in a cold ice palm and suddenly melt; Or imagine you are romantic on the Titanic, and suddenly an iceberg hits you and you fall into the icy water.