Do you regret marrying your present wife? More than half of the men clearly expressed great regret.

The topic of marriage is hotly discussed in Zhihu. Generally speaking, will men regret marrying their wives now?

We will encounter all kinds of marriage and love topics, but in the face of this hot discussion, there are 30 million views, more than 1000 netizens pay attention to comments, and the degree of hot discussion on this topic causes deep thought.

Among them, 1800 people answered this question, and one of the most praised answers was written like this, which was praised by most people and stimulated their enthusiasm for discussion.

This netizen wrote a lot of words with great aplomb. Here, I only share important paragraphs with you.

0 1 I love her more, and now I regret marrying her.

The netizen made it clear that he regretted marrying his present wife because she didn't love him so much.

The netizen explained his situation. He is eight years older than his wife. He and his wife have been in love for four years and have been married for one year now.

Judging from his age, he is eight years older than his wife. It stands to reason that a mature and steady man can dominate the family, but on the contrary, he is really clingy and seems to attach great importance to his wife's desire to be bored with her all day. But his wife is very independent, very independent to outsiders, and really doesn't care about him, because sometimes he doesn't go home in the middle of the night, and his wife doesn't call to ask about him when she is out socializing.

The wedding scene is also a ridiculous time. When the netizen confessed to his wife, he was very moved and even cried until he was angry. I thought it would attract his wife's touch, but she looked calm and even moved.

The netizen was surprised at his wife's indifference to marriage and the wedding scene. He doesn't know whether it is right or wrong to marry his wife. His wife wanted children, but he refused decisively. He doesn't want to make the distance between the two people farther because of the birth of the child.

It is precisely because of his wife's feelings for him that he thinks that his wife doesn't love him, which makes him feel insecure and regrets marrying his present wife.

Of course, in his words, netizens have also caused controversy between the two factions. Some netizens think that he misunderstood his wife's feelings. Because she is introverted, she is not good at expressing her love for her husband. A few netizens think that her wife really doesn't love him. It is because he loves himself that she left him unscrupulously.

As this netizen, they are the parties, and other onlookers can only make a superficial analysis according to the situation he described. After all, most women are emotional, and no one wants to step into a loveless marriage. Presumably, many people still hope that the wife's personality will lead to poor expression ability.

Don't impose your ideas on others, most of them are to advise you not to make peace, especially because this small problem leads to the breakdown of marriage. After all, most marriages end in love rather than affection.

In my opinion, the reason why the netizen's wife let him travel freely is nothing more than trusting him to go out for dinner and not to call him to disturb his work. On the other hand, if his wife goes to inspect the post every once in a while, I'm afraid he's not so calm.

The most important thing is that the other person wants to have a baby for him. For a woman, only when she loves a man will she want to have children for him, and life will eventually be dull.

When a woman is willing to entrust her life to you, it shows that you are the most important person in her heart. Perhaps it is because women have different personalities, some are independent, some are enthusiastic, some are reserved, and they naturally express their feelings in different ways. Marriage is very important to women.

02? Simple marriage, complicated heart.

In addition to the netizens who praised or spoke highly of this website, other netizens have also expressed their views. Most of them said that they regretted marrying their current wives for many reasons, most of which are inseparable from their wives' education, looks, appearance and ability to do housework.

From the comments, we can see how much a man dislikes his wife. I didn't expect his wife who was in conflict with him to say this in her husband's eyes.

It can be seen that most of them are male netizens, and their reasons seem reasonable on the surface, but when you think about it carefully, you feel incredible.

These netizens just illustrate the inappropriateness of their wives. These appearances, conduct, looks, academic qualifications and the ability to do housework can all be learned through love before marriage, not after marriage. Obviously, this does not constitute strong evidence that you don't like your wife.

Why do these seemingly feminine advantages before marriage become feminine disadvantages after marriage? Even make men regret it.

Analyze the reasons, one is before marriage and the other is after marriage. Nature is a kind of love, a kind of life, a kind of fantasy, but it is a reality.

The meaning of marriage says: as soon as you get married, you and your spouse begin to undergo profound changes, and you can't predict what will happen. So, you don't know, and you can't know, what your spouse will become in the future.

I once read a book in which there was a passage: "The hardest thing in life is not that you see the real scenery after reading the cognitive impairment. The most rare thing in life is when dwarfs appear under the sky of other mountains. I can still hold that initial heart. "

What is the difference between love and marriage?

Love is actually an exchange of feelings, while marriage is an exchange of values. When they first started to fall in love, both of them felt suitable for each other, but after entering the marriage, they would find various contradictions. Because love is to give the best things to each other, all kinds of bad habits are revealed after marriage.

In marriage, in fact, no one has changed, only the lack of people's heart, vision and freshness.

To sum up in a simple sentence, what is simple is marriage, and what is complicated is people's heart.

Most people will regret it after they get married.

There is a saying in "A Generation of Masters": To say that you have no regrets in life is to be angry. How boring life would be if there were no regrets.

In fact, both men and women will regret it more or less after marriage, because a woman who was perfect in her own eyes has become a shortcoming after marriage.

Accompanied by married life, the more noisy and fierce the family farce, the more you will yearn for what you can't get, because what you can't get is a beautiful dream.

No matter who you marry, you will regret that you didn't choose the answer, but regret will also accompany the growth of marriage. When we are hurt by life, we will see the essence of marriage clearly. At that time, we still believed in our choices and lived a better life in daily necessities.

Marriage is like a plate of fried chicken with onions. Hot onions may make you cry, but small fried chicken makes you want to talk about it. If you want to make this dish well, you should even consider all kinds of seasonings and handle it moderately.

And white rice is like our ordinary life. When marriage is integrated into life, whether it can bring us surprises depends on the heat and seasoning.

Knicks said: Marriage is a book, the first chapter is poetry, and the rest is plain prose.

This is also the reason why many people choose to divorce after getting married, because they can't accept a dull life.

Once I was at a classmate's party, one of my classmates told me about his wife:

He said that before marriage, his wife was a gentle and virtuous person who seldom blushed with him, but after marriage, she changed.

I nagged in his ear all day, and she didn't clean up the mess at home. I work hard outside all day. She only takes care of the children at home and doesn't go to work. I can't even do such a small thing as cleaning up the housework well, and I have to go back to help her after work every day.

What bothers me the most is that every time I get paid, I don't understand why I can't keep the money I earn, but I have to be dominated by her. I make my own money, and I don't need a woman to make decisions.

I should have seen through her earlier, so I wouldn't regret it so much after I got married.

After listening to this classmate's spit, I actually think his wife is worthless. It seems that his wife is worthless in his eyes. Although a woman has no job, she has done the greatest job in the world, that is, being a full-time mother. According to this classmate, his wife is having a good time at home.

Presumably, families with children know that it takes absolute patience and time to take care of children. Sometimes, they are so busy that they can't eat for a whole day. After a while, the child was hungry and had no energy to take care of others.

But men think that women's job is to take care of their families, while men have to earn money to support their families. This is the solidification of traditional thinking, but now women hold up half the sky, which is no longer the marriage mode in which men are outside and women are inside. A family is husband and wife, * * * share the responsibility, and the children are also called men's fathers. This is his responsibility.

If men always say that women are useless and women just do housework or something, it's simply pathetic.

Lev tolstoy said, "Some people regard the same marriage as a joke, while others regard it as the most solemn thing in the world." It is precisely because of different concepts that contradictions will arise. If you want a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, you must manage it well and learn to think from each other's perspective.

It's a pity that many people don't know how to run a marriage at all. When they encounter problems, they will only smash the pot and endless abuse and accusations.

Conclusion:

There is no perfect soul and no perfect husband and wife in the world. What we see is a happy marriage, which is just the result of their efforts to tolerate each other and accumulate over time.

Tao Te Ching begins by saying: "Tao can be Tao, extraordinary Tao, famous name, extraordinary name." Everything is not static. We should look at this problem from a dialectical point of view. When one direction can't solve the problem, you can find a breakthrough with another solution.

For men, it is necessary to be considerate of his wife's contribution to the family. After all, he is the person who has paid the most for you but accompanied you for the longest time in the world except your parents. Continue to love, respect and care for my wife. I appreciate your days together.

For women, first of all, they should learn to love themselves, so that they can be loved by others. Don't carry everything on your shoulders, you should know how to share the responsibility with men, spend more time dressing up, improving yourself and constantly shaping a brand-new yourself.

Surely marriage will give you a satisfactory answer.