How to write a short message about having a baby?

Thanks to CCTV, MTV and CNN, my daughter-in-law successfully gave birth to a little prince (princess) in X minutes on X day, weighing * Jin, and the mother and son are safe. Good news!

Extra extra extra: * * and * * husband and wife successfully advanced. On * * this month, they had a caesarean section of * * * kg cowboy (girl) in * * * hospital, and the mother and child (girl) were safe.

I gave birth (or delivered by caesarean section) to my son (or daughter) at X, weighing X Jin, and now the mother and son are safe. Please call my husband to express my condolences. The number is * * * * * * * * *.

I solemnly declare to you that I am father, father, father, father, father, father, father. ....

I finally confidently let out a cry of "Lao Zi"! My daughter-in-law gave birth to a fat boy, weighing 7 kg and 3 Liang. Remember to save money, and if you have a girl, don't squander it. It will all belong to my family, and everyone with a boy will protect my son. Who makes me the youngest! Comrades! It feels great to be a father!

Dad sent a text message: wife gave birth to a child with a gun.

I am so happy today! 6.4 Jin! Give birth naturally!

The good news of having a son: from some time today, my wife will start sleeping with someone else's husband ~ ~ ~ ~, and I will wash, change clothes and take a bath happily. ...