Who can help me piece together those ideas in Summer on Solstice hasn't come yet?

Most of the time, Fu Xiaosi thinks that he and Lu Zhiang just laugh silently in Asakawa like two hooligans who live alone, then cry affectedly and live noisily day after day. For so many years, he thought he was used to wandering around the city with Lu Zhiang, looking at countless beautiful MM, looking at countless strange bus stops, following countless strange Panshan highways and then heading for more unknown worlds. Those lush Cinnamomum camphora grow into the witness of victory day by day in the annual rings. He and Lu Zhiang grew from three to nineteen. Those days when it rains and comes back are really memories. Fu Xiaosi sometimes looks at photos and suddenly feels sad when he looks at them. Their hair is getting shorter and their clothes are old and new. They stood on the ground and cried. The big sun still rises in this city every day, lengthening and shortening their shadows.

So year after year passed.

Chang Xia, you know, I didn't have any friends in Asakawa No.1 Middle School at that time. Before I met you, I had no friends since I was a child. Therefore, the feeling of being concerned makes me feel very warm for the first time. Specifically, it is as hot as a sheep. Can you believe it? Even now, many years later, I still think so -In 2002? encounter

In the long summer, you may never know, because you wait for me every night, so I don't feel afraid on the dark road back, and I don't feel cold when the rain hits me. Perhaps people will become particularly brave when they know that someone is waiting in front. - 1996? encounter

Small division, sometimes I always think, even if I stay with you, even if I can't help you, I just want to tell you that you are not lonely. Whether you were a child or you are shining now. I always feel that you have your own unique world, and no one can understand your language, fearing that you will be lonely. I have a silly idea since I was a child: two people are bored together, so they are not bored ... so until now, I have been thinking, is he lonely now?

So when I occasionally see a sudden sakura rain on Japanese streets in recent years, I always think, what a pity, Fu Xiaosi is not here.

It should be a pity to see the beauty of the world alone but no one shares it.

-In 2003? Zhiang Lu

I'll never forget the way Lu Zhiang looked up at me that day. In the sound of gongs and drums, Lu Zhiang's hot tears rolled down his face. I can see that he wants to control his emotions, but the corners of his mouth are still very similar to the expression he pulled down when he was bullied as a child. I remember when I was in kindergarten, I watched him cry like this almost every day, for menstruation's scolding, for the candy I couldn't win, for grabbing the merry-go-round with me, for wetting my pants, for giving glass beads to a beautiful girl instead of him ... When I grew up, Ang's smile was always as bright as the sun. When I speak, I have a vivid face, when I am happy, I have a bright smile, when I am sad ... when I am not sad, he never has a sad moment in front of me when he grows up. I thought I had forgotten his sad face, but I saw it again after so long. The vibration was magnified ten times at once and instantly turned me into an empty shell, like a broken flag hanging in the wind.

In the thick night, in the noisy crowd around him, he looks like a pure white and quiet sad shepherd boy. I really want to go over there and help him straighten out his hair that was messed up by the wind. I also want to sit on the hot ground with him as if nothing had happened and say to him, hey, let's go to get a haircut together one day. But there are huge roots under my feet, which nail me to the ground and can't move. Because I am afraid that if I walk over, he will see tears on my face. I don't want him to see me cry, because I have never cried in front of him since I was a child.

Lu Zhiang, mom will definitely go to heaven. You have to trust me.

- 1996? Fu xiaosi

Black dust began to fly out of the chimney, and the tall chimney looked particularly bleak in the twilight. Fu Xiaosi looked up and suddenly thought that the entrance and exit of dust had taken away many people's sadness and thoughts. There are black birds flying silently in the dark sky. Ang remembered that once a girl who liked him went to his house, and her mother was very happy because she was always worried that she could not find a wife by fooling around like this. My mother was very happy and even a little nervous when she saw this girl. She had been chatting with them that day, and Lu Zhiang knew that her mother was very happy. But the girl whispered in his ear, "why hasn't your mother left yet?" I want to talk to you alone. " Because of this sentence, he kicked the girl out. His mother scolded him for it. He didn't talk back at that time, thinking about finding the best wife in the world to let his mother know that I was also an excellent boy. But he didn't expect that there were so many things he couldn't do in such a short time. ...

Mom, I will never get my clothes dirty again every day. Mom, I will never forget that you like red and bought you green clothes by mistake. Mom, I will never put the gift you gave me somewhere in the room on the pretext that I don't like it. Mom, I will never forget your birthday ... Mom, I will never cry again ... Mom, I will be the best certified public accountant ... Mom, you must go to heaven and come when I die. God will love me, Mom ... Bye.

My company told me the story of an angel before, which probably means that everyone has an angel to watch over him/her. If this angel thinks your life is too sad and your mood is too sad, then he will become someone around you, maybe your friend, maybe your lover, maybe your parents, maybe strangers you have only met once, and these people will quietly appear in your life. Then you will have good memories in your life. Even if your future road is covered with snow, you can still be brave when you think of what you were happy about. So people who leave us silently are actually angels who have returned to heaven. For example, those friends who have left, strangers who have helped you, people who loved the last separation, classmates who told a beautiful joke to make you happy, singers who sang a beautiful song for you, and writers who have written a good book are all kind angels. Maybe you will feel sad or lost for their disappearance for a while. You will look around and wonder where they went and what country they went to, but in the end, you will believe that they are living quietly and contentedly in a corner of this world. Then all disappointment and sadness will disappear, and time is the greatest healing medicine.

Sometimes I suddenly get delusions in class. It seems that I met her sitting next to her. She sleeps quietly on her desk, the sun shines on her hair, her eyebrows are slightly wrinkled, and her dreams seem stubborn. And after life, it is Fu Xiaosi and Lu Zhiang. Small company draws a pattern on the table, and Lu Zhiang sleeps beside it. When I turn around, I can see those two heroic faces that I have seen countless times.

But blink your eyes again and everything will come back to reality. The small company is on the other side of the classroom. Many times when I look at him through various expressions, I can see him looking at the blackboard seriously and then writing something in the notebook quickly. Sometimes it hurts to look at his side face, and I don't know why. Probably because I know this life is too short, and I will graduate soon. Sometimes I hear the piano coming from nowhere. I wonder if Lu Zhiang will play.

What will graduation be like? I can't imagine it either. I have heard many people say that graduation is a window pane, we have to break it, then walk past it with sharp fragments, and start a completely different life after dripping with blood.

……

Many times, when Fu Xiaosi walks through the shopping mall between the teaching building and the playground alone, he will think of many things in Grade One, but Grade Two seems to have been skipped. It seems that 1997 disappeared out of thin air in life. And 1997. Why? I still remember it in my heart until now.

Actually, it's very clear. I remember better than anyone. Just deliberately not to think about it.

1997 What happened? China has been busy for almost a week since 1997. However, 1997 also witnessed the Asian financial turmoil, and it seems that the sky is not completely brilliant. 1997, China's navy warships set sail for the first time to visit the world. And all this for Fu Xiaosi or long summer, don't have much meaning. What is meaningful?

After the separation of arts and sciences, Lu Zhiang and Fu Xiaosi no longer go in and out of the same classroom at the same time.

I met Chang Xia and said, Chang Xia, I don't want to go to college anymore. I'm leaving, but I will miss you forever.

The newly-built liberal arts building was put into use on 1 997, so science students and liberal arts students began to take classes in two different buildings, separated by an empty playground.

Now, Fu Xiaosi is used to parking his bike in the carport with Lu Zhiang every morning, then waving goodbye and going to different classrooms.

What's the change in 1997? Is it too much or too little? Fu Xiaosi don't understand, also don't want to bother to think about it. Many times, there is no time to think about other things. In the hot world of senior three, learning is everything.

But everyone knows about the changes in Lu Zhiang, including Chang Xia, meeting and all the girls who like Lu Zhiang in school, but no one feels as deeply as Fu Xiaosi.

And this change is dissolved in this whole year, like salt sprinkled into water, and then gradually dissolved, and finally completely integrated with water, leaving no trace. On the way to school, when Lu Zhiang sat quietly outside the classroom of a small company waiting for him to leave school, Fu Xiaosi felt his change day by day, and felt a little sad in his heart during the long holidays in winter and summer, in the gap between raising his head and lowering his head, in one short message after another, and on his way home quietly in the sunset.

How's Lu Zhiang? Quiet? Still lonely? I don't understand. Chang Xia often feels that Lu Zhiang has become another Fu Xiaosi, only more peaceful and silent than a small company. Because the small company is a kind of angular silence, and Lu Zhiang has gradually become a person who is particularly gentle about everything. Unlike before, he loves talking, laughing and whistling at beautiful girls in the past. Now he rides his bike quietly every day. When he is free, he will ask Xia, the head of a small company, to go to the library together, and occasionally he will start to frown with black-rimmed glasses. In the library, he will find a sunny corner, then take out a thick reference book and start to calculate silently on the draft paper. Only a few times, and only in the long summer, when she meets a familiar person like Qiqi, Lu Zhiang will return to her former appearance. She talks a lot and has a vivid expression. She occasionally gestures with a small company, but more often, she is a very quiet face with a smile. When watching Lu Zhiang intently draw one function image after another on the draft, Chang Xia will recall that Lu Zhiang, who dozed off unscrupulously beside Xiao Si and himself, and Lu Zhiang, who smiled like the sunrise in spring, will suddenly pass a gust of wind in his heart and blow all the past events away from his heart.

After Chang Xia left, it seemed that the task of dealing with the teacher's sudden questions was given to Lu Zhiang, and many things happened in the class were also handled by Lu Zhiang. Sometimes I ask Lu Zhiang when I meet her. She said, when you leave our company, will you feel lonely? Lu Zhiang just smiled and didn't talk, and then he would say with no expression, in fact, I met him because I felt lonely when I left Xia Hou, so I hope to hear something similar from my mouth, right? When you meet such a strong person, you will never say anything lonely. Actually, it's not shameful. You don't have to be embarrassed at all. Just like I complain to my boss every day that it's boring to leave him. The whole class is a group of scientific machines.

I gave him a white look and said, come on, you don't cry, you are now transformed, quiet and silent prince type. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It was you two years ago, right?

In a word, Lu Zhiang was totally embarassed. After a long time, he began to complain that the world was unfair, and his kindness was not rewarded. I can't lose my temper when I see him. I just think it's good for Xiao Si to have such a friend. I silently say "thank you" to him.

Many years later, recalling the last Christmas in Asakawa in the third year of high school, my heart will be full of unexpressed emotions. That day, Xiao Si's shining eyes still appeared in my dreams repeatedly. Many times, I will think that if time goes back and everything goes back to the original moment, if Fu Xiaosi didn't take part in the game, if he didn't leave when he met, if Lu Zhiang wasn't Lu Zhiang, if Long Summer wasn't Long Summer, if everything gave us a choice to start over, then we wouldn't be where we are now. If I had known that fate would be so arranged at that time, the road would be so tortuous in the future. I think I'll even tear up your final license and risk making you hate it for life. Because all these years, watching you bite your teeth all the way, you are not tired, I am tired, you don't want to cry, I want to cry. The words "things are human beings" and "things are human beings" that frequently appear in those novels actually exist. But I know that even if I spend my whole life, I can't turn back the clock for a second. We lost to the capricious palm of fate and fell black and blue. I fell black and blue.

Small division, if we choose our fate again, what will our end be?

-In 2004? Early summer

Once so clear traces can disappear, so many things can't last long, even if we think it can exist forever, but the word forever seems to have never appeared, so many times I wonder, Ang, can we be good friends for life? Even if you get married, have children and get old, will you still travel to the wilderness with your backpack?

Will you still feel deeply sorry for losing a wallet I gave you?

- 1998? Fu xiaosi

……

You know, many years later, when I think back to the winter of 1997, I feel that you have become the Lu Zhiang of 1995. You are still the teenager who has never experienced sadness and pain, and you will still show your gums and laugh happily. The nervousness of the day before the game really disappeared in the process of bickering with you. Sometimes I think that it is really a very happy thing to have you around in my life, so I have always thanked God for letting you accompany me for so long. From childhood to adolescence, and then to the complicated world in the afternoon, you have always been by my side, like a young god, never changing, becoming transparent with the customs of Shan Ye. Thank you, whether you like to laugh or Lu Zhiang who likes to be silent.

-In 2003? Fu xiaosi

……

Xiao Si, watching you stand up from the last row and gracefully walk to the podium in people's envious eyes, I suddenly feel a little sad-you have left us who are still naive and ordinary, and rushed to the long future alone. I don't know why, I suddenly thought of Mars for no reason, the dark god who led people to break through the tragedy. Don't laugh at my childish ideas. I don't know why I am so sad at such a moment when I should be happy. I think, maybe under my mature appearance in the past two years, I am a naive heart after all. As naive and ridiculous as a little boy who will never grow up, he stays in the summer of sixteen.

- 1998? Zhiang Lu

Chapter 06 1998 Summer Solstice >>& gt& gt& gt

……

I miss you so much that the days when I lost you have lost color. I am like a lonely puppet. I lost another puppet that was inseparable from me, and I never performed or moved again. Abandoned in the corner, travel-stained, desperate in loneliness, sad in despair, and then continue to miss you.

- 1998? Early summer

……

Yes, it will. I don't want my best friend to hate me until I leave China for another country. Besides, I have an appointment with Xiao Si to study together. So I will work so hard to maintain good grades in junior high school and senior high school, because I am afraid that one day I will miss my junior high school so much that I will not be admitted to his school, because you know how excellent my junior high school is. So now that I think about it, it should be me who betrayed the agreement and the oath. ...

Lu Zhiang looked at Fu Xiaosi, who walked alone in front, and felt very sad. His lonely figure is even thinner in the wind, and Lu Zhiang suddenly thinks in a trance, will the small company always live so lonely after he leaves? Eat alone, travel alone, go to school alone, take notes alone, ride a bike across the vast campus alone, run alone, walk up the high steps of the library alone, cry alone, laugh alone and fall asleep alone. Because he grew up with only one friend, his life was almost blank, and how shocked was his departure in the world of small companies? As painless as a breeze? Or is it like a tsunami, an earthquake, an unprecedented glacier arrival?

It's separation Friends who grew up together, after this moment, will live in two different countries, the sky above their heads is no longer the same color, and the hands on their wrists are separated by the time difference. When I miss you, I can say "I miss you very much" in my heart. This is the only way.

Fu Xiaosi looked at Lu Zhiang's busy and organized appearance, and a sad feeling crossed his mind. Xiao Ang has really grown up. He is no longer the big boy who followed him and knew nothing. At present is Lu Zhiang's back, familiar, but slightly strange at this moment. In the hard core of time, I faded out a clear outline, a figure higher than myself. Long hair, radiant with black beyond everything. Sunlight falls on the hair surface at an oblique angle and flows like a firefly. In the free time of waiting, you have the habit of patting the ground with your left palm. I like to put my hands in my pants pockets. I will nod slightly when I meet passers-by and say I'm sorry. These habits, like stars scattered in the universe, frequently appear in their long lives like the Milky Way. But these will never be seen again soon.

Lu Zhiang dragged his luggage into the security checkpoint, and Fu Xiaosi's heart echoed with the picture of half a year ago. At that time, Chang Xia, himself and Xiao Ang went to Shanghai. How time flies! The whole world seemed to stay at the moment when Lu Zhiang and I watched the rare snow falling on the windowsill. But in a blink of an eye, it seems that the dream was suddenly broken by a gust of wind, and the fragments of the balloon were torn into smaller fragments and blown into the sky by the wind. Lu Zhiang, a little doll tied to herself like a rope since childhood, is going to Japan. Fu Xiaosi had to admit that the palm of fate can really have sex, and we lost to an unchangeable life. Completely lost. Bloody. Bloody.

Xiao, I'm leaving.

Well, take care.

-Cold tone. It's even colder in the sunshine that permeates from the glass ceiling of the airport.

When I arrive in Japan, I will send you an email every day. Remember to write me back.

That's great.

It's not that I don't want to talk, it's that I talk too much. I'm afraid I will cry.

I heard that buildings in Japan are so dense that I dare not look down at the horizon. There seems to be a saying that people who can't see the horizon feel lost and lonely. I'm really scared to hear that.

Not so literary. Gross. Are you going to a poetry reading?

Actually, the original sentence was written by a Japanese novelist, or I showed it to you. You've forgotten. That is to say, if a person stands on a land that can't see the horizon, then he will feel crowded without friends, and then he will feel lonely in other places.

No ... I'm serious. Without my company, I will definitely be lonely.

Really?

-Did you know it would be lonely?

International Seamen's Union ... Will you hate me?

Yes

That a word "will" suddenly appeared, and at that moment Lu Zhiang saw Fu Xiaosi's extremely positive face. He thought sadly that Xiao Si would get angry eventually. No matter how stubborn he used to be, skipping classes, fighting and hitting on girls, he never got angry. At most, he rolled his eyes at me or kindly said, "Go to hell." But now such indifference, separated by the touch of a glass, makes Lu Zhiang feel worse than quarreling with a small company.

"The person who betrayed the oath and agreement ... should be me ..."

It should be me.

Before entering the security check, Lu Zhiang went back to see Fu Xiaosi, but our company only said "goodbye". At that moment, Lu Zhiang felt that the world was dark again, with the rapid arrival of cold, frost, glaciers and the collapse of the unknown world.

"Goodbye." Lu Zhiang showed a beautiful smile, like the warmest sunshine in the world, which lit up the dark world. Fu Xiaosi at that moment, the in the mind dig out endless bitterness, expression is still cold.

When the plane took off, Fu Xiaosi kept looking at the silvery white fuselage in the sky. He knew that his best friend had been sitting on it since he was a child, and this metal robot monster was about to take him to a distant country and climb mountains and rivers.

The huge roar of the plane seemed to fall directly from the sky, echoing on his scalp, and tears blurred his eyes.

What I didn't say was: I don't hate you, but I can't bear it. Will you come back? Do you still remember that there is a playmate who came to see me since I was a child?

Lu Zhiang's seat is on the wing, so his ears have been ringing since take-off. Looking out of the window, there are undulating white clouds and broad blue sky. Close your eyes and you will see an endless lake. The lakes in full bloom rose to a height of 9 thousand meters.

Xiao Si, when I looked down from the window, I was thinking, did I really say goodbye to the city under my feet like this? Farewell to those roads that I can find with my eyes closed, farewell to my bicycle that fell in a mess, farewell to Zeus who grew up with us, and farewell to you. At that moment, I vaguely felt that there was an earthquake under my feet and the whole city collapsed rapidly. I feel horrible. I'm so afraid to stand outside the horizon and watch the sunset alone.

Is life, as you said on your sixteenth birthday, a movie that you can't understand but are in tears?

In the huge roar, I suddenly remembered the birthday song you sang with me when I was eighteen. When I cut the cake, you just finished singing the last sentence "Happy birthday to you." At that time, your expression was still dull, your eyes were empty, and you had no focus, but you had a particularly beautiful face in candlelight.

You said that you are finally an adult, and you will become stronger and stronger from now on.

I remember all this.

- 1998? Zhiang Lu

At home, lying in bed, I repeatedly played Lu Zhiang's expression of looking up at the sky and taking a deep breath, and the sentence "I will be lonely when I leave the company".

Fu Xiaosi kicked off his shoes and went back to bed. The ceiling looks as far as the sky. Fu Xiaosi felt that dust had been falling on the roof, tiny white dust fell on his face, eyelashes, body and feet, and buried himself bit by bit.

I went to the same kindergarten as him when I was three years old. I took the big red flower exam for three years in a row, learned a lot of Chinese characters and read comic books. And he is just a naughty boy who is often punished by his teacher. He likes fighting for candy and squeezing girls' faces.

I went to primary school with him when I was seven years old. I have been the shift leader for six years in a row. The whole school ranks first. At that time, I felt a little grown up, so I pretended to be small and told him earnestly that if you don't study hard, you can't go to the same junior high school with me, because my grades are the best and you can't get into the school I want to study. He opened his mouth wide, then burst into tears, and his glass marbles spilled all over the floor.

When I was thirteen years old, I was admitted to the junior middle school of Asakawa No.1 Middle School with him. He worked hard to get in, and his grades have just been erased. He began to learn to draw by himself. Although he still won't copy notes in class, he will take them back to the air after school and rearrange them carefully. He joined the sports team and the school high jump team. At first, many girls had a crush on him, but he couldn't change the habit of teasing girls developed in kindergarten.

At the age of sixteen, I went straight to Asakawa No.1 Middle School with him, and my academic performance and artistic professional performance were comparable to my own. I chose science in my second year of high school, contrary to myself, and I have been the first in science in the whole school ever since. Senior three graduates choose to study in Japan.

Looking out of the window, although tears blurred my vision, I can still see that when the summer vacation comes again, the whole world is flooded with green. That's endless camphor, pointing out problems in every corner of the city. But the two people who once looked at the camphor tree became one person, and that person left, and the rest were still looking.

The summer of nineteen. The quiet period in the painting.

……

Xiao Ang, are the cherry blossoms in Tokyo in bloom now?

I often see those skyscrapers, and I really want to go to the roof. I always naively think that if I stand high enough, I can see the far, far east. Last month, when I went to the Oriental Pearl in Shanghai, on the top floor of the sightseeing spot, the glass exterior wall said, How many meters are there from the Tokyo Tower? I forgot how many meters it was, because at that time, my heart suddenly became slightly sour, and then my eyes blurred.

Although you have been away for such a long time, I don't miss you very much.

I also forgot to write to tell you that the quiet child in those days is now a young man. These are the slow changes that took place a few days after you left. You have no way of knowing. You don't know that the rainy season in Shanghai and the sandstorm in Beijing both make me hate.

You have no idea how much I miss the lush camphor trees that cover the whole Asakawa. But I think you should also forget those simple green plants. All plants will lose color in front of cherry blossoms, which are as beautiful as smoke clouds in the sky. Didn't you smile brightly under the cherry tree in the photo you sent me last time? It suddenly occurred to me that the sentence we read in the book before, the wind blows, the wind blows, and spring is brighter than summer.

It's just that I'm wondering, will you suddenly see a similar figure in the street one day, just like me, and can't help but think of that annoying guy who was with you all day four years ago?

-In 2002? Fu xiaosi

Chapter 09 solstice in the summer of 2003 >>& gt& gt& gt

……

Looking at the small company in front of me, I actually had an illusion for a moment, like time quickly flowing back to the years under Asakawa camphor. I held out my hands and hugged him. Four years later, although I have a little tall and straight skeleton of a man, I am still very thin. I miss you so much in the noisy voices and the huge roar of taking off and landing.

-In 2002? Zhiang Lu