Girlfriends and ex-boyfriends are in frequent contact.

When a person bids farewell to his innocent childhood, he enters adolescence. The remarkable characteristics of adolescence are the germination of sexual consciousness and the mystery, yearning and admiration of the opposite sex. The quiet love between young men and women in this period of time is relatively simple and simple, and it is in an ethereal realm of "water is full without words". For them, love is still a distant "distant guest".

The mysterious sense of distance is undoubtedly a hidden obstacle for men and women to enter adolescence.

At this time, if there is explicit interference from family members or teachers, it is easier to arouse their resistance. And this wonderful distance experience is hard to feel in later life. This is the first reason why first love is unforgettable.

Meet the "dream lover"

When young men and women reach puberty, they usually make up a "dream lover" for themselves, create an abstract ideal object, and form a "model" for choosing a spouse in their minds. This model may be very specific, sometimes with a real person as the model, sometimes with several people together. Moreover, everyone will follow this "perfect heterosexual model" to find in life and explore in the crowd. Unconsciously, one day, the moment of yearning has finally arrived, and you can't help but marvel at a familiar face in the vast sea of people: "It's so familiar!" She (he) has a wonderful coincidence with her own aesthetic ideal. First love is the beginning of the transformation of heterosexual love from abstract consciousness to reality.

But the first love is often fruitless, and the person in memory has become a person that others can never replace, and even become the standard of comparison with others. And this person is not the original real person, but a standard that is idolized by ourselves.

Chickney effect

Of course, there is another important reason why first love is unforgettable.

A psychological term is called "Chickney effect". Chikuni, a western psychologist, has done many interesting experiments and found that it is easy for ordinary people to forget what they have accomplished and what they have achieved, but they always remember what they have been interrupted, unfinished and failed to achieve. This phenomenon is called "Chickney effect".

There are many examples of this psychological phenomenon. For example, in the math exam, you have to answer 100, of which 99 questions have been answered very well, but the remaining question stumped you, and you didn't finish the answer and didn't get the answer. When the bell rings, you hand in your papers, walk out of the examination room and check the answers with your classmates. All 99 questions have correct results, and the unfinished questions are said by your classmates. Since then, the unfinished problems have been deeply and long remembered by you, but the 99 problems have been forgotten by you.

Unfinished first love is an "unfinished" event. Therefore, failure is an important reason why we are obsessed with first love.

Don't worry, she is yours.