Seeking ambiguous jokes between husband and wife

One. It is absolutely true that my colleague's grandmother and my colleague's parents live in a small town. One night, my colleague's parents went out after dinner. Grandma is doing housework and resting alone in the room. His parents had just gone out for a while when grandma heard a knock at the door. "Duoduo" ... Grandma went out to open the door. When she opened the door, there was no one outside ... Grandma was a little strange, so she went out to look around ... She still didn't see anyone. After entering the room, she heard someone knocking at the door, "Duoduo" and "Duoduo" ... Grandma went to open the door again and opened it! Still nobody! Grandma thought, is the child joking with her? After a while, she entered the room again, and the sound of knocking at the door rang again ... Grandma was a little panicked and lit a fire. She went out and rubbed the door open, only to find it outside! Still nobody! Grandma came into the room and thought, is it because my colleague's parents have been having trouble with others recently, and they have come to play tricks? For the next time, the knock on the door was intermittent, but grandma stayed in her room and didn't open the door. Until ... a few hours later, my colleague's parents came home, and my grandmother went to ask my parents, have you had any problems with anyone recently? There was a knock at the door tonight, but I answered it. There was no one outside! Scared me to death! Mom and dad, think about it. It seems that there is no contradiction with anyone. Are children boring people? That's not good. Knock patiently for hours. Suddenly, dad remembered something! I saw him follow grandma to the computer and turn on the screen! Looking back, he said, "I forgot to turn off QQ…… when I went out ..."

Secondly, one day, Mr. Wang found that his 5-year-old son Xiao Ming was acting a little strange. Towards evening, he stood by the window waving his hand, as if he were still mumbling. Mr. Wang walked quietly behind Xiaoming, but he heard Xiaoming say, "Goodbye, goodbye …" Mr. Wang looked out of the window, but there was no one. It's been like this for several days in a row. At this time, Xiao Ming stood at the window, repeating the words that made Mr. Wang creepy. Finally, Mr. Wang couldn't help it. He called his son over. "Xiao Ming, who are you saying goodbye to at this time?" "Grandpa." Xiao Ming looks naive. Mr. Wang's scalp is fried. "Which ... which father-in-law?" "Grandpa Sun ~"

6. A person is away on business and suddenly comes home. He heard a man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce!" ! ! "Then they threw away their mobile phone cards and moved away ... Three years later, they met again in a city. The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye? The man told the story. The wife turned her head and said simply, that's Rising's little lion!

Bras and underwear

The husband complained to his wife: Why did you buy such an expensive bra? You have no breasts! ?

The wife was very angry and replied, so you can save all the money on underwear! !

Husband: @ #%! ? ……

Second:

Can't open the cork

A couple who suspect that they can't have children want to have a child. They went to consult a doctor, who said it was possible, and gave the couple a bottle to collect sperm and eggs, and then the doctor came to artificially inseminate them.

The next day, the man returned an empty bottle to the doctor.

The doctor asked strangely, what's wrong?

The man replied, we started as soon as we got home yesterday. I made it myself, but it didn't work. Then my wife helped me with her hands, but it didn't work, so she used her mouth again. Later, she used her hands and mouth, even her teeth, but I just …

Interrupted by the side, the nurse asked: how to pull?

The man said, can you help me?

The nurse scolded angrily, you rascal.

The man was so wronged that he stopped talking.

The woman spoke: We just want you to help us open the cork. We couldn't open it yesterday. . .

Three:

Can't compete with women.

Husband and wife had a quarrel, and when they got home, their wife was livid.

The husband went to tease the cat.

The wife roared, "What are you doing with that pig?"

The husband said in surprise, "This is a cat, not a pig."

The wife took it again: "I'm talking to the cat." What do you want to say? "

I have had a crush on her for two years, but I have never had the courage to tell her. Encouraged by my friends, I finally wrote a love letter. However, I have seen her several times, and the hand holding the love letter can never be taken out of my pocket. In this way, several opportunities were wasted and the love letter became wrinkled.

Finally one day, I don't know where I got the courage. As soon as I saw her, I stuffed the crumpled love letter into her hand and ran away in a hurry.

The next day, she called and said she wanted to see me. I was both excited and nervous, and we met under the dim street lamp. She looked at me anxiously and asked, "Why did you give me one hundred dollars yesterday?"

One day, an 80-year-old man smiled at his old lady. His old lady made him look a little hairy and said; "Why do you always look at me?" The old man said, "I'm making a summary." The old lady said, "What knot?" The old man said, "I want to know how many times I have made love with you in my life."