Who has a funny message on May Day? The more the better! It better be new.

Men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs. Men are sour if they don't pick up girls; Women are not soaked, very upset; There are girls who don't bubble, and there are labor camps; Go to bed when you see a girl and do justice for heaven. Wife, wife, I love you, just like a rice farmer, waiting for you carefully, waiting for you to slowly become rice, love you, eat you, and then I will start planting rice! Xiao Xin's message: I am very busy today. I want to play the ghost to scare people into asking for candy. Trick or treat! I am a ghost! Come to me! Happy holidays! Dear, I've always wanted to learn from the Monkey King, so that I can take good care of you on Halloween. All kinds of monsters come on! This is a cool autumn, all the saints are reunited, and the little devil will appear soon, so that I can meet all the saints! Happy Halloween! In order to run first, the hair is streamlined; In order to win the first place in dance, I kept spinning like a top; See if you can hold back. SMS wishes you a good mood! The romance of Nong Ben is full of flowers, and right or wrong is always related to feelings. The banquet in Zhumen failed to live up to expectations, and the first sentence was linked to your comments. The girl lifted her legs and drank wine; Young men's legs are lifted, and gold seed wine; The old lady lifts her legs and Gu Jing salutes; As soon as the old man's legs are lifted, the holy spring will dry beer! You lift your legs, bitch! Doing what you like is called making love. Expressing your feelings is called estrus. Vomiting after drinking is called drunkenness. There are pigs like you, so they are called pigs! Aisi, nobody knows several times a night. Don't think about it for two nights. Don't be silly for three nights. You'll be an idiot all night! What do you think you are doing? This is a dream, fool! Measure the window and bed, go to bed and measure the bed against the wall. The wall is longer than the bed, the bed is longer than the window, the window is longer than the bed and the bed is longer than the wall, so the wall is longer than the bed. When you smile, the wolf hangs himself. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. When it stopped, it smelled bad. You sweat, lice infest. You are uglier than a ghost without dressing up. When you dress up, ghosts will paralyze you. The characteristics of women in the new era: they can confuse the minds of 60-year-old men, 50-year-old men seize property, 40-year-old men separate, and 30-year-old men distort. Xiao Xin is cute, lewd, beautiful and doesn't eat green peppers; Nini is beautiful, gentle, sweet in smile and likes to eat dessert. Blue sky and blue sea, there will be an end, and your love is endless. I will turn my deep thoughts into expectations and blessings. 20 women are like olives, and 20 people chase them; 30 likes basketball, 10 people chase; 40 like table tennis, two people play back and forth; 50 is like golf, the farther you play, the better. If you want to be beautiful with me, I will make you regret it. If you want to pretend with me, I will hurt you. If you want to brag to me, I'll turn your face gray. If you want to play with me, I will make you dizzy. Woman: Before we got engaged, like a swallow, we flew as we liked. After the engagement, she can fly like a dove, but dare not fly far. After marriage, like a duck, I want to fly, but I can't fly. Single is papaya, love is cantaloupe, breakup is cucumber, marriage is fool, divorce is melon, no lover is loofah, and more lovers are cantaloupe. What are you? When the beautiful woman leaves the hospital. Charm a large piece. In the blink of an eye, a beautiful woman wants to do it. When a beautiful woman smiles, the old man drools. The beautiful woman walked in front, followed by a group of dogs. You were sad several times last night, and now I feel very moved. Even with all the helplessness, there is still my care. The popular trend now: handsome sneakers, crazy shoes, crossing the ocean in leisure; The military cap was worn by Ha Han, with a towel dunk on his head, a fur collar coat to keep out the cold, and chicken leg pants standing in the front. Class discipline is really great. You have to report when you go to the bathroom. If anyone dares to shout loudly, his parents should come at once. Modern teachers are skilled in martial arts and can throw "darts". Teaching is a magic weapon, either homework or exams. You need money after the exam, or you will be pawned if you don't give it to others. Endless love waves like waves, who knows. Even if there is much ado about nothing in the world, smile hand in hand at the sky three times. White-collar life now: mini-skirts with mini-eyes, makeup and manicure idle, yoga and milk bath all over, gold cards flashing, smiling. Obviously you are uglier than me, and your boyfriend is quite handsome! I was so angry that I couldn't eat for days, thinking hard about the answer. It's not that you are smart and capable, but that you are dumber and cuter than me! About NBA Rockets coach Van Gundy: short stature, slow expression, obvious achievements and swaying hair. Our teacher is really annoyed, and many topics are difficult to arrange; Fortunately, after many battles, I pieced it together to play; I didn't expect the test paper to be issued, so we were rewarded with two forks. Look at the timetable before taking a nap, and don't sleep if you have classes in the afternoon. What a precious time at noon. Anyway, I have to sleep in class. Marriage: poor family, 1 m 49, primary school education, rural hukou, three broken houses, a sick pig, all year round, medicine never leaves my mouth, SMS to recruit a girlfriend, are you willing? Fart is the gas of human body. Fart essence is happy, fart essence is depressed, fart essence keeps a diary, the above four words continue to work hard. Life lies in exercise, emotion lies in heart movement, kiss lies in moving, hug lies in excitement, touch lies in trembling, man lies in twitching, woman lies in twisting, and the key lies in interaction! The standards of talents are: diploma in left hand, bottle in left hand; The top should be smooth and the bottom should be flat; Put vases outside and vinegar bottles at home; Strength should be balanced, and a bowl of water should be flat. Red card, temper cast, not disorderly in a crisis, no ability; For the boss's smile, for everyone's bumper harvest year and relegation year, why not be afraid of fake balls! I haven't eaten anything flying in the sky, mosquito; I haven't eaten anything that runs on the ground, ant; Two-legged, I have never eaten, people; Four legs, never eaten, shit. How to mend the body? Three big sweet potatoes a day; How cool is it? A pair of jeans for three years! Sleeping in a row in class, obsessed with anti-terrorism, tireless legends, texting arrears, smoking and rubbing hemp, two bottles of white wine not drunk, skipping classes in groups, long live the university! The status quo of virgins: a group of people accidentally hurt themselves, a group of people are destroyed by criminals, a group of people are deceived by emotional swindlers, a group of people go bankrupt through legal procedures, and a group of people are left behind who see through the world of mortals. Central cadres are busy forming a cabinet, provincial cadres are busy going abroad, prefectural and county cadres are busy eating and drinking, district and township cadres are busy gambling, village cadres are busy sneaking around, and student cadres are busy patriotism. Traveling around the mountains and water is called "investigation", eating indiscriminately is called "investigation", trading power and money is called "going to the sea", reading at public expense is called "investment", and wearing a black veil is called "promotion". Public servants are not afraid of drinking. Ten thousand cups and thousands of lamps are just idle, and the water is in the ocean river. "Confucius" drinks mud pills, and "drunkards" keep their stomachs warm. "Tequ" is foolhardy and neither too cold nor too hot. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, the wife is willing to spend money, and the wife has to endure abuse. Don't fall in love just because there are thieves and no thieves in junior high school; I don't fall in love in high school because I have a wicked heart and no thief courage; I fell in love in college because I have a thief's heart and courage, but the thief is gone. The secretary's lover is a turtle, which is delicious and can't be eaten every day; Sister-in-law and sister-in-law are goldfish. They can only watch, but not eat. The wife is a salted fish, and the time is not important. Men are not drunk, women have no tips; Women are not drunk, men have no chance; Men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel. There are four necessities for men: there is a person who can cook at home; The office needs a beautiful one; Public relations needs people who can talk and pour wine; You need a real gun when you are on a business trip. Perfect husband: A strong man does housework, cares about his wife like a nurse, counsels his children like a doctor, always has a penny in his wallet, and treats himself as a missionary when he listens to nagging. Six fears of women: no one wants to be a girl; Love loses its virginity and is dumped; There is no red husband at the first night; Husband's golden gun won't become warped; Husband is engaged in emotional appeal outside; Savages don't wear condoms. I really shouldn't have fallen so deeply into you, and I can't extricate myself now. I want to leave you, but it's too deep … the stock market. If you want to be beautiful with me, I will make you regret it. If you want to pretend with me, I will hurt you. If you want to brag to me, I'll turn your face gray. If you want to play with me, I'll make you childless. When the wife is angry, the man has to hide; When a wife is fat, men slip; As soon as the wife is rich, the man will step down. It's hard to love someone! It is fun to love two people! Love three people is so annoying! Love four people bullshit! Love five people to capsize! Love for six people is completely over! Dear fish: I eat you because I need you; I need you because I love you; Love you, because I have you in my heart; Putting you in my heart is just eating your ... loving cat. There is no haircut and massage in the barber shop; The karaoke bars stopped singing and were all withdrawn; Sauna does not take a bath, hand-to-hand combat; Security guards don't catch prostitutes, cooperate. I fucking love you so much, you fucking ignore me, I fucking fall in love with you, you fucking pretend not to see me, I fucking give up at last, and you fucking change your mind.