I want to live with you

Story summary:

Ge Qingqing is a doctor in a tertiary hospital in Chunjiang City, and Yin Xiaohui, who is suffering from terminal cancer, is her patient. In the process of treating Yin Xiaohui, Ge Qingqing and Yin Xiaohui's husband went from strangers to familiarity, from conflict to gradually getting closer.

In the last days of Yin Xiaohui’s life, Lin Huan, director of Chunjiang Municipal Education Bureau, reminisced about every detail of their journey together and felt the new meaning that life gave to life.

Liu Ruchun is the half-sister of Ge Qingqing. Her parents are dead, she is fragile and simple, longing for a warm home, which is the happiness she pursues. After coming to Chunjiang, I searched, ups and downs in the quagmire of love, and finally found my biological sister. In this process, I gradually matured, grew up, and understood many true meanings of time.

Through the narration of three protagonists in their 60s, 70s, and 80s from different perspectives, the novel tells the story of love, marriage, and career that people in different eras encountered during the changes of the times and the development of the city. and life, as well as the torture and exploration of life and emotions.

At the end of the novel, all the threads merge into the same river. And the philosophy of life also emerges.

Life is always a mystery to everyone. The real answer may require sincerity and hard work to slowly develop and create.

List of main characters

1 Ge Qingqing: Female, 36 years old, obstetrician and gynecologist, deputy chief physician of the Third Hospital of Chunjiang City. She has superb medical skills, gentle personality, coexistence of rationality and sensibility, and has all kinds of charms of a lady and a mature woman. He is the attending physician of Lin Huan's wife Yin Xiaohui. Later, two years after Yin Xiaohui's death, she fell in love with and married Lin Huan.

2 Lin Huan?: Male, 46 years old, director of Chunjiang Municipal Education Bureau. Graduated from the Chinese Department of Normal University and started out as a teacher. Yin Xiaohui's husband. He has the sensitivity and delicacy of a Chinese-speaking man, but later moved into officialdom. He did an excellent job, but felt exhausted both physically and mentally.

3 Yin Xiaohui: Female, 45 years old, middle school teacher, wife of Lin Huan. Married from Beijing to Chunjiang City. A kind and dedicated traditional woman who regards her husband as her first priority and is determined to become the little woman behind a successful man. Later she died of uterine cancer.

4 Yang Yi: Male, 36 years old, Ge Qingqing’s college classmate, his first love, and later immigrated to Germany.

5 Lin Lin: Lin Huan’s sister. Yang Yi's wife in Germany. Later, they returned to China and founded an obstetrics and gynecology hospital. Arrogant and willful, but kind-hearted.

6 Liu Dehai: Male, 60 years old, the director of Chunjiang City No. 3 Hospital and a world-renowned brain surgery expert. Knowledgeable and charitable.

7 Liu Ruchun: Female, 24 years old, Ge Qingqing’s half-sister, a student of the Chinese Department of Chunjiang Business School, her parents are both deceased. A rough life. Passionate and simple. Later, she fell in love with Lin Huan's son Lin Kebin.

8 Lin Kebin: Male, 24 years old, Lin Huan’s son, Chunjiang, a student in the Department of Finance at Fudan University. So ambitious, humorous and romantic.

9Ge Zhicheng: The father of Liu Rushun and Ge Qingqing. After Chun Jiang divorced Ge Qingqing's mother, he married Liu Ruchun's mother. After the transference, I fell in love with another person. After being stabbed to death by Liu Ruchun's mother, Liu Ruchun's mother committed suicide.

I want to live with you,

In a quiet town.

***Enjoy the endless dusk,

and the endless ringing of bells.

(Russia) Tsvetaeva

Chapter 1 Appearance

A Ge Qingqing

I have menstrual cramps every month. It hurts. But strangely, the pain will dissolve into a winding channel, reaching straight to the soul. Then the tough parts will become soft and warm, rushing towards your face like mist and rain.

At that moment, I can always look in the mirror and see my moist and flushed face. See your eyes as clear as glass. Like a newborn baby. As if still carrying a faint smell of blood, he curled up in his mother's arms. There is no helplessness or hesitation, only joy for the world. Even with your eyes closed, the heart wrapped in blood can still hear the most beautiful sound.

When I was born, it was very light. Less than five pounds. My father gave me a homophonic name, Qingqing.

My name is Ge Qingqing. My last name is my father's last name. Unfortunately, my father named Ge Zhicheng left the family not long after and was never heard from again.

I became a child without a father. I don’t even remember the real image of my father. Only his thin back shone like a whimpering song in my countless midnight dreams. I only saw my mother. She is like branches and leaves climbing on the corner of a small wall, but cannot bloom the kind of flowers I once imagined. Fortunately, the branches and leaves never showed signs of withering, as I would hear her singing songs in the living room every night while drinking water. I could never clearly hear what she was singing. I only knew that her expression was joyful at that moment, and her mood was as vast as the grassland. She was stuffing pills into her mouth. Her skinny fingers slid slowly like musical notes. It turned out that the moment she took the medicine, she was happy, like an angel wandering in the music.

Indeed, medicine is given to mothers by angels. And I am the medicine she needs to survive.

I grew up in a single-parent household. With that inherent melancholy of a broken family. And inexplicably strong. There is no choice. Just like the glass-like eyes, even if immersed in water, you can still touch the coldness and desolation associated with time.

I work in a tertiary grade A hospital in the city.

Since I started working in the obstetrics and gynecology department, I have become the angel in white in my dreams. These years have been filled with work, exams, and further studies. Until today, I am a thirty-six-year-old deputy chief physician.

In the hospital, I can be regarded as a key supporter who is admired by all the stars. When the director sees me, he always It was a smiling face like the moon, and the nurse and doctor below were extremely flattering to me. Just looking at the small cabinet in my office is enough to tell the clues. Jindi chocolate, pistachios and American almonds, as well as French Lanc?me perfume, Dior lipstick, Estee Lauder essence... Almost every few days, my small cabinet is like a magic box in a fairy tale book. Suddenly, In a short time, many delicious, fun and beautiful things appeared, with colorful colors, slowly unfolding like a scroll, and it was pleasing to the eye. Of course, in the end, I won’t enjoy these things myself, I will still share them with all my colleagues, but the journey between them and me always makes me particularly warm, and even makes me believe that I He is deeply loved by many people.

That small office is like my other home. And I seem to prefer this place to my own home. Because it is connected to the hospital, you can see the undulating figures of many people in its extension. It lets me know that in fact, I have always been in a sea of ??people, watched by many eyes, and I am never alone.

For so many years, loneliness has been an incurable disease hidden deep in my soul.

I am a doctor, but I cannot cure my own disease. Although its onset was so secret and quiet, it gnawed at my heart like a knife until tears fell from my eyes. In my own home, my mother has passed away and I am alone. A year before my mother passed away, I took out a loan to buy a new house and decorate it. I thought my mother would have a comfortable second half of her life, but she fell seriously ill and her life came to an abrupt end quickly.

My mother has uterine cancer.

I consider myself an excellent obstetrician and gynecologist, but I can only sigh in front of the disease.

A few days before her death, my mother held my hand and looked so peaceful when she looked back. She said, “Doctors are not God.

So kid, you are already the best. But my regret is that I didn't see you get married. How I hope you have a happy family and a man who can love you forever. My child, even if I am in heaven, I want to see this day. "

Now, she is in heaven. But I am thinking, Mom, where are you? Have you met a man who will love you forever?

I may really love my mother. At the age of thirty-six, I am still dreaming of love. Reason tells me that it does not exist, but I am still waiting for it. .

Only when I was in the hospital, my lonely heart felt like I was riding on a giant ship, so I forgot everything about my childhood. The darkness, the pain in the process of growing up, and the inexplicable restlessness that still lingers in my heart are all gone. I am the kind, gentle, persuasive and tireless good doctor with white wings. . I bring the gospel to people in pain, and I give them the best medicine. I tell them how beautiful life is, because with me, they are no longer sad and lonely.

So, I. The patients have also become my friends.

They will also send me gifts, and they will also invite me to go out for dinner, or take me on a free trip. Sometimes I will not refuse them. The willingness to agree is also an acknowledgment of the friend's affection. I understand the gratitude of those patients who have narrowly escaped death. She needs a way to prove that her life still has infinite power, and I. I am also touched by such a title, because I am also a person of temperament, right? No matter how realistic the world is, those of us who are engaged in life-related careers must understand that some things are spiritual and warm. And beauty is like blood.

It is irreplaceable.

It was among those patient friends that I met Lin Huan. >To be precise, Lin Huan is my patient’s husband.

It must have been last year. To me, it seems like a long time ago.

It seems like a long time ago. In another life.

It was a rainy but warm winter afternoon. He accompanied his wife to visit my specialist clinic. At first, I had no impression of him. I see patients and family members like this every day. Too much. But in the end, after some diagnoses were made, I suddenly realized the seriousness of the problem. My heart felt heavy, my chest was tight, and I couldn't breathe. I would empathize with the patient if I noticed any bad signs, so I worked hard. After calming down, he looked at the woman in front of him and said, "Where are your family members? You need to be hospitalized immediately. "

The woman named Yin Xiaohui in front of her was stunned for a moment. Her hands could not help but tremble, and she said, "Is it serious?

I opened the hospitalization form without raising my head, "Don't be too nervous first, we have to wait for a comprehensive examination before confirming the diagnosis." I raised my head, "Where is your husband?" Did I see him coming just now? Is it the tall, thin one wearing glasses? "

"He..." Yin Xiaohui faltered, her face getting paler. The moment she turned her face, I saw a dazzling white hair on her temples.

A man strode over, but I intuitively felt that he was not her husband. Sure enough, he looked apologetic and said, "I'm really sorry. Director Lin has an important meeting in the afternoon and has already left. I am his Secretary, if you need anything, just tell me. "

"Explain to you? "I was a little annoyed. Just because he is the director, he can just walk away. What meeting is more important than his wife's life? I finally swallowed my impulsive words.

"You give him sir right away. Call up. He said that no matter how late it was today, he would still come to me to get the hospital bill. The family members need to sign in person! "

"I know, I know.

"When the secretary saw my expression, he realized the seriousness of the situation. However, he still did not call, but sent a text message.

I smiled at Yin Xiaohui, "Now please wait at the door. Besides, when your husband comes, I will go through the hospitalization procedures for you. "

"Director Ge..." Yin Xiaohui gritted her teeth, her fingers trembling uncontrollably. "Tell me, is it vicious? "

I stared at her face. I suddenly realized that for a woman in her forties, it should be considered a moving face. From the outline of her eyebrows, I could vaguely see her face. She looked delicate when she was young. Therefore, the deep sadness in her eyes moved me a little. I have said that I am a sentimental doctor, and every patient's emotions will tangle with my nerves, but this time is no exception. , the doctor’s rationality reminded me, and I quickly regained my previous calmness and calmness.

“We won’t know until after the operation. Probably not. But you have to cooperate with the treatment. I said in an extremely gentle tone, "Now you go outside, I'm going to call the next patient." "

Yin Xiaohui's eyes suddenly turned red. Maybe my particularly good tone made her feel ominous. This sensitive and fragile woman covered her mouth and tried hard not to cry. Her fingers were exposed in front of me, and the diamond ring on her hand came into view. It was in the shape of a butterfly, and it was particularly unique and dazzling. The skin on her hands was actually much slender and smoother than the skin on her face. And clear. She exudes a bit of nobility and art. She should be a woman who has always been loved by men. This association makes me feel a little sad.

At dusk, I saw her. When her lover arrived, he was Director Lin Huan.

He looked a little tired and anxious. After signing the hospitalization form, he went to go through the hospitalization procedures. Arriving at my office. By this time, I had taken off my white coat, put on my own clothes, and was about to leave.

He knocked on the door and I asked him to come in.

He was a man in his forties. He was wearing glasses and was tall. Apart from being handsome and slightly young, he asked me almost the same thing as Yin Xiaohui. He said, "Director Ge, Do you think it could be malignant..."

"It's hard to say. "Facing the family members, I felt generous and relieved, "We won't know anything until after the operation, but your family members should be mentally prepared for the worst. ”

“The nurse just said that the special needs ward is full. Can you help me?” I want my lover to have the best environment to recuperate. "

"I'm afraid this won't work. I said bluntly, "The ward is really tight now. You are lucky to be able to live in it." "

"But she lives in a ward with six people to a room now. I'm afraid that she will really not have a good rest..."

? "There is nothing I can do about it. Sorry, all patients must be treated equally. "

We broke up after talking unhappily.

When we got into the elevator, Lin Huan said, "Director Ge, how about I take you back in my car and treat you to dinner? ? "I said no, I'll drive myself. I looked at his face and thought his forced smile was a bit ridiculous, "You'd better go to the ward and take care of your wife."

We separated in the ward. My cell phone rang. When I saw it, it was Director Liu from our hospital. I wondered what the Director wanted from me at this time. As soon as I picked up the phone, the Director's order came over:

"Xiao Ge, go and free up the special needs ward reserved for municipal party committee leaders for the family members of Director Lin Huan. You should do this right away! "

I returned to the office upstairs, but I felt as if my feet were filled with lead and were too heavy to lift. I knew that I had encountered a difficult patient, and he had a lot of background. As a doctor, this is the situation I least want to see.

I just want to simply see patients and save people. It is the most fulfilling thing for me to help patients get rid of the haze of pain and struggle and regain health. Therefore, I perform every operation carefully, as if I am completing each piece of art. The experience on the operating table is a selfless performance for me. Under the spotlight, I devoted all my energy, just to see countless smiling faces of affirmation, sounding like thunderous applause...

However, from the moment I stepped into the hospital, From that day on, I knew that I could not simply engage in such a role, just as I could not simply realize my dream. Just like now, I have to take the director's instructions and greet the people in the inpatient department, just to break some of the rules set for patients for the sake of a relationship. But what can I do? Who told me, a little doctor, to still be under the jurisdiction of the dean? I was sulking when the knock on the door came again.

I said, "Come in."

Black jacket, black trousers, black leather shoes. He is tall, slightly slim, and has a pair of deep and somewhat unpredictable eyes behind his spectacles. I recognized him, it was Lin Huan who I had just broken up with. I was about to say something, but he spoke first.

His tone was sincere and firm. He said, "I want to ask Director Ge to perform my lover's surgery this time. I believe that only Director Ge's ability will make everything go smoothly."

"You don't understand me at all, how can you trust me so much? Me?" I said in a mocking tone.

"I have checked your information on the Internet. I know that you are highly qualified, so..."

"So I must agree to you and follow your will. Act? Maybe you have already said hello to the dean, right?" I tried to calm myself down, but still said the harsh words, "You can go to the special needs ward for veteran cadres, but am I going to give it to your lover? To perform an operation, I need to hear the personal instructions of our director. Otherwise, I will have the right to control my doctors. Now, you can take your lover to the door of the special needs ward. The nurse will take you in."

"That's okay. But I still trust you, Director Ge."

"You don't know me, why. Trust me?" His flattery made me feel hypocritical. In short, I had a strong rejection of this so-called director. "The introductions on the Internet are often exaggerated. We have Director Li, Director Wang, etc. here, they are all very Excellent, you can stop looking for me in the future."

When I left the hospital that day, I went to the special needs ward where Lin Huan's wife Yin Xiaohui lived. When I stood at the door, I couldn't help but stop. Under some dim light, I saw a man feeding soup to a woman. It was a bit difficult for the man to hold the spoon in his broad hands, while the woman closed her eyes slightly and pouted her mouth slightly like a girl in love, sometimes showing a shy expression. Because the light weakened the lines on his face, the patient Yin Xiaohui at that moment looked young and energetic, with a few curled bangs in front of her forehead creating a somewhat sexy arc. On the other hand, the man with his back to me had a stooped back, and the few strands of white hair on his head were so dazzling. I stood at the door and no one noticed me. The silence and serenity at that moment was beyond my imagination. For some reason, the corners of my eyes were a little moist. I was always inexplicably moved by such scenes, and some of the previous unhappiness seemed to disappear in an instant. I walked downstairs almost with a spring in my step. Before I got downstairs, my phone rang again.

"Xiao Ge, you should do the surgery for Lin Huan's family. The family said they only believe in you. I have read the medical records. Without further delay, you can arrange it as soon as possible."

It's Dean Liu. I had to obey the dean's orders. In the heart that had just been relieved, nameless anger surged up.

I'm wondering who this Lin Huan is? Just now, I was still impressed by his image as a good man. In the blink of an eye, he used the dean to put pressure on me again?

I stood at the door of the hospital, suddenly at a loss. The chilly wind in early spring was still carrying a chilly chill. The phone rang again, it was Li Jing, a colleague in the hospital. He said, "Qingqing, it's my birthday tonight. I made a reservation with you a month ago. Did you forget? I'm waiting for you at the Mirage Restaurant on Chunjiang Avenue."

My Bora car I just went for maintenance these two days. I found that I had indeed forgotten Li Jing’s birthday. Are you too busy, or are you simply not paying attention?

An Audi A6 slowly stopped in front of me. The car window rolled down and I was shocked to see a man wearing sunglasses. Taking off his sunglasses, it turned out to be Lin Huan, who was taking care of his wife meticulously just now.

He smiled and said, "Director Ge, I know you don't have a car today, so I will act as a driver and take you to your destination."

I was stunned. Look at him. After hesitating for a few seconds, he got in the car. I thought to myself that I had been ordered around a few times by him today, so it was reasonable to ask him to be the driver, right? The strange thing is that I thought I would ask him a few questions as a matter of course after getting in the car, but at the moment the car was speeding, like Lin Huan wearing sunglasses next to me, I seemed to be quickly immersed in a brand new world.

The dusk mist outside the window enveloped the familiar city like smoke. The lights that gradually turned on were like jumping notes, but the flowing melody carried an inexplicable touch of sadness. Every night, I can't help but feel something, which is closely related to my experience. The past is like a cup of coffee foam, dense in bitterness, but still filled with fragrance.

?

?

At that moment, I smelled the faint smell of cologne on his body, remembered the scene I saw at the door of the special needs ward, and suddenly realized There is a kind of stability and warmth that floats up from a certain corner of the soul in a secret and meandering way until it reaches the place where it silently inhabits.

?