Happy funny copy

1. The old lady on the bus is afraid of missing the stop, so she will ask at every stop. When the bus arrived at 1 station, she stabbed the driver with an umbrella: "Is this the convention center?" "No, it's a rib!"

If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I don't want it. "Aunt canteen threw a big spoon," what do you want? Do you want it? "

3. "Have you ever said the humblest thing to keep the other person in your life?" "Come back, fifty is fifty, and I will sell it to you at a loss."

4. The husband sent a message to his wife on a business trip: "Are you asleep?" "Sleep! Wife, you are too naughty. " "Your wife is really asleep!" "Who are you? Believe it or not, I will kill you now!" "I'm her mother!"

Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look farther and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling, urging me: pay back the money quickly!

6. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "I won't say anything if I kill you!" You ruined me, I won't say anything! " After the robber looked her up and down, "you should be beautiful!" "

7. A passerby stopped a taxi and asked the driver: How long does it take from here to the airport? Driver: It will take a long time. Passerby: How long will it take at least? Driver: It takes longer to ride a horse.

8. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name?" ? "A student lifted his trouser legs and said," Guess what. "

9. Xiaoming plays mobile phone in class. After seeing it outside the window, the class teacher sent him a text message saying: How do you play with your mobile phone in class? Xiao Minghui: Who are you? The class teacher added: Look out of the window! Xiao Ming looked out of the window and replied, thank you for reminding me. I'll talk to you later. The head teacher is watching at the window!

10. There is a classmate named Yang and Sunshine. I thought there were many new words, so I asked him: Why don't you call him Sunshine? How nice! He is angry: my father's name is sunshine!

1 1. My brother invited me to eat special snacks near his home. It is common for a place to smell. I asked him, what are the characteristics? My brother pointed to the boss and whispered, look, the boss is wearing open-backed pants.

12. I went to the barber shop for a haircut the day before yesterday. Me: "Dude, help me get a haircut that I can find a girlfriend!" " "The stylist shouted at the room:" Boss, someone is coming to smash the venue! "

13. Take your boyfriend home on weekends. He said he was nervous when he saw my dad, and he didn't know how to put his hands. I said if you are nervous, put it in your pocket. Then my dad pulled me over and asked me: Is your boyfriend sick? What is he doing with one hand in his coat pocket and the other hand in his trousers pocket?

14. The teacher handed out the paper: "Pork belly! Pork belly! " The whole class laughed. The teacher said, "Who didn't get the test paper?" A student stood up. Teacher: "What's your name?" The student said, "My name is Zhu Yuepo."

15. On the Dragon Boat Festival, a company distributed zongzi to employees. When the foreign employees came to work the next day, they said to the company's administrative manager as soon as they met, "The Chinese dim sum distributed by the company yesterday was delicious, but the lettuce outside was a little hard."

16.5-year-old granddaughter asked how old her grandmother was. Grandma said she was too old to remember her age. The granddaughter said, "If you can't remember, you can look at the label on your underwear. Mine says five to six years old. "

17. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " So, you reluctantly turned and hugged the tree!

18. A thief was selling stolen trucks and was captured alive by a rural uncle and handed over to the police. The thief was puzzled and asked uncle, how do you know this car was stolen? Grandpa replied: As soon as you got on the bus, the car automatically called the police. The policeman asked: How did you report it? Grandpa A: Attention, please, stealing cars! Attention, please, car theft! The thief looked up at the sky and said, it's terrible to have no culture.

19. Shopping with my wife, she took a fancy to a shawl and tried it on and found it too small. I asked my boss, "My wife tried on a smaller size. Do you have a bigger one? " "The boss said," young man, look elsewhere. This is already the biggest curtain in my house. "

20. What I admire most is the Tang Priest in Journey to the West, who didn't even have to take a shower himself. Every two episodes, a monster says, boys, wash that monk clean. At the gate of the cemetery, a man asked, "How much is the paper house?" The stall owner replied: "20 yuan!" "So expensive! Didn't you just return 15 yuan last year? House prices have gone up! "

2 1. In today's Chinese class, the teacher gave me an assignment to write a composition about people, focusing on people's characteristics. Xiao Wang stood up and asked, "Teacher, can you write about my grandfather?" The teacher asked, "well, first tell me what you have learned." Wang Si Jr. took an exam and said, "My grandfather has a prominent lumbar intervertebral disc! "teacher:" get out. "

As soon as I answered the phone, I asked: Are you at home? The number is strange, but the tone is absolutely familiar. I don't know who is still afraid of embarrassment, so I pretend to know him very well: can I still be at home on Friday? Dinner! Friday is like this. Several bureaus shouted, where are you? What's the matter? What's the matter? The other person was silent for a while and said, I was at your door when you ordered takeout.

23. Two drunks are in high spirits. One asked: Where are you from? Inner Mongolia. Wow! Me too. Let's drink. Where are you from in Inner Mongolia? Tongliao. Wow, me too, fuck! Where are you from Tongliao? From Qinghe town. Wow! Me too, fuck! What's your last name? My surname is Li. Wow! My surname is Li, too. Fuck! The owner of the barbecue shop can't stand it any longer. He dialed the telephone: Lao Li, your two sons have been drinking again.

24. once I took the bus, I couldn't squeeze in. I closed the door and left. Someone is shouting, master, my bag is stuck. The driver is from the north: the bag was caught. Not yet? After a pause, the master opened the door and said, which bag has been caught, you can take it out now. A passenger said flatly: the bag was caught and the person didn't come up.