Collect funny jokes and make a good supplement!

A soldier is practicing climbing a tree. Suddenly, he fell from the tree. The officer asked him why he fell. He said two squirrels ran into his crotch. I put up with it, and they went in and said, let's share the fruit!

The old turtle molested the mussel, and the mussel was very angry. He opened his mouth and bit the old tortoise. The old turtle dragged the mussels back and forth reluctantly. The frog saw it and said with admiration, dear, Brother Tortoise has grown up and has a briefcase in and out.

A man feeds peanuts to a monkey, and the monkey always stuffs them in his ass before eating them. The man asked the administrator, A: He ate a big peach last year and finally pulled out the core, so now he has to measure everything first.

Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on gibbon shit. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. When asked how they got together, the chimpanzee said with emotion: ape shit! It's all ape shit!

2. I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you "pig monster", and finally one day you couldn't stand it and shouted at me in public: "I'm not a pig."

On the birthday of the giant panda, someone asked him what his wishes were. The giant panda said: I have two wishes in my life. One is to find a Chinese doctor to get rid of my dark circles, and the other is to take a color photo.

Three little pigs, pig A is called Who, pig B is called Where, and pig C is called What. One day, pig A and pig Li Li were at the door, and pig C was on the roof. A wolf found them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A. ...

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof?

Wolf: I mean what's your name?

Pig A: Who's my name and what's on the roof?

The wolf asked pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: Who am I? (Pointing to pig A)

Wolf: You know what?

Pig B: Hmm.

Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What?

Pig B: What's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: Where am I?

Wolf: Who?

Pig b: who is it (pointing to pig a again)

Wolf: How should I know?

Pig B: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What?

Pig B: On the roof.

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who?

Pig B: I'm not who, but who.

Wolf: Good heavens!

Pig A Pig B: "My God" is our father.

Wolf: What, it's your father?

Pig B: No!

The wolf couldn't stand it. He looked up at the sky and sighed, "Why?"

Pig A, B and C: Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What?

Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What's this?

Pig A: No, it's why.

Wolf: Who?

Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes, who am I?

Wolf: What?

Pig A and B: On the roof.

……

Finally, the wolf committed suicide!

Devil: "Just scream ... no one will come to save you ..."

Princess: "Broken throat ... broken throat ..."

No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."

Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "

Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."

Devil: "Oh, my God! 」

God: "Who called me? 」

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」

Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」

Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... Gee, there are so many people here. 」

Many people: "I just arrived … who are you?" ? 」

Which one: "I'm not who. 」

Who: "He's not me. 」

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」

Everyone: "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun." 」

Lively: "What do I have to see? 」

God: "It's none of my business. I'll go first. " 」

Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? I am a demon.

How did Wang play? 」

Go on: "Why didn't you hit me if you didn't do well?" 」

Princess: "if the devil is played, I can go." 」

No one: "If you play the devil, how can you let go ..."

How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the fun." 」

Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」

How dare you: "I didn't? 」

Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」

Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy. 」

Shit: "What am I doing? ...」

Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」

You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」

I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」

Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」

I didn't say, "Who called him? 」

Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."

I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you. 」

I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」

Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."

I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... and I will be called."

Ah ... "

Who: "... get out of this troublesome place"

True or false: So this is my place ... "

I am nothing &; No: "Don't make any noise. We are talking ... "

Don't argue with Allah: "I'm not talking ..."

I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」

I am nothing: "-_-\ \" ... Let's go ... Let's talk outside ... "

Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"

I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"

None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "

Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... * v.v *" (\ \" Who \ \ "collapsed)

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」

It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."

For a long time: "I'm not here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished? 」

Endless: "He doesn't have me."

You: "I don't have him."

I just said, "Who said that? 」

Who: "What do you want me to do? 」

Do you want to fuck me? 」

You: "I won't fuck him."

I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」

Who: "Wrong! I didn't say ... "

He said, "What should I do? 」

? "You two are shameless! 」

You two: "I want it! I want it! 」

Face: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I don't want it."

Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."

Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "

K: "Who wants to see me? 」

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」

He said, "Don't trust me."

Me: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I finally caught one. Kill it. "

One: "Don't arrest me."

Me: "I've had enough, too. Whoever mentions my name again will never let you go! 」

Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」

Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」

What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」

What is there to see? "Brother, let's go out and talk. 」

Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."

It is said that since then, the devil has suffered from schizophrenia. . .

How to tell the authenticity of RMB?

Prepare 100 yuan. Fold in half and then fold in half, put it on the ground and step on it n times. Pick it up and see if the people above have nosebleeds. If it is, it is true. If not, it's fake.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

Part I: It's windy and rainy. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

The kangaroo and monkey in the forest game were praised by the lion king for jumping high, and the bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look at you. You are still on the bridge (you are still watching! )

I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I've been worried. I'll text you right away. If you are still alive, please reply to me!

Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a person, but a swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

Look at you, American head, French waist, Indian nose, Hong Kong foot, people are not people, ghosts are not ghosts, only one head and two legs, look at you, smiling and reading text messages!

Under the red sun and blue sky, farmers rushed into the cinema excitedly to watch the third-grade films, and their angry shouts shook the world. The village chief came to ask what was going on, and the farmer said, "People who read short messages are not stars, and we won't pay if we are killed."

Do your fingers itch? That means I miss your caress; Does your lips itch? That means I miss your kiss; Are you itchy ... that means you are dirty, so take a shower!

You are as hardworking as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as smart as a kitten, as simple and honest as an old cow and as fierce as a tiger. No wonder people call you an animal!

Since ancient times, who has no shit and who doesn't use paper to shit? If you don't use toilet paper, are you using your fingers?

Whether it is a gust of wind or not, it is so eternal; This is a dream, but it is so real; You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. Finally, I can't help but say to you, "let me know before farting!" "

Without the wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; If it weren't for you, stupid people wouldn't exist.

I can't eat in the morning because I miss you, I can't eat at noon because I miss you more, I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily, and I can't sleep at night because I'm hungry.

I heard that your mobile phone has no short message function, so I sent this short message as an experiment. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

When my cell phone rings, it means I miss you. Second, I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Four tones, I miss you very much; Five tones-demo, it's time to answer the phone!

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

Beggars beg along the street with monkeys. He told them to laugh, cry, bow and read short messages.

You took part in a ball game the other day and only scored a volley ball. Before the goalkeeper could react, the goal was scored! We all applaud and cheer for you. You get up and pat your ass and say, damn, the ground is too slippery!

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

The aquarium celebrated the birthday of the old dragon king. During the dinner, Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it and put it back. The dragon king quickly asked, what happened to Prime Minister Gui? Shrimp, soldier and crab will quickly answer: the old bastard has received the text message again.

My friend thought a lot last night, so did I. Only you are the coolest. I looked for you in my dream. Looking back, you were really thrown in the depths of someone else's donkey shed and tied up. How cruel! Cruel! Calm down after reading the information!

Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you. Can you pick me up at the station? However, I'm afraid it's hard for people to recognize it. You let your head explode, with a stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left. The joint signal is: Come on!

I dreamed about you. You made a dress out of white clouds, borrowed the wings of a bird, put the broom behind your ass, and flew to me like a sword. Tell me affectionately: Do you know? That's what birdman looks like.

I thought there was something better, but I found again and again that the best was around, just like you. I didn't think so at first, but as time went on, I realized that you were the best … bully!

I am determined to do three major things for the people of the whole country: 1 build an elevator for Mount Everest, tile the Great Wall, and put the plane into reverse gear; Do three little things: 1 put gloves on flies, 2 put a mask on mosquitoes, and 3 feed you some pig feed.

When I arrived in xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, I was besieged by a group of wild boar. Tourists took out food and money, and the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried: Boss, we found you!

You are a 10 playboy, who often plays with 9 and 8 and has billions of money. You've been abandoned for seven years, and you've been looking for prey. You need to ask more questions, but you are still half-hearted. You are definitely not a good person.

You are very creative, living is your courage, ugliness is not your original intention, without you, who can set off the beauty of the world!

After seeing the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. He saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, so he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! I turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap. I was shocked: danger! Suddenly seeing you again, I was overjoyed: yo-ho, there is a honey trap!

The toad chased the swan, and the swan said disdainfully, if I were like this, I would have died long ago! Toad refused: Is the pig still alive? Hearing this, the pig felt wronged: I provoked whoever I recruited, I was just reading the text message!

There is a yearning, a love, a beauty, an agreement, and a greeting, hello pig!

I don't want to be alone I want it, too. I walk in the street and have a look. Handsome men and beautiful women hold hands, but I hold hands with my left hand. Now I just want to go out with you, but I'm afraid my friend will say, don't always walk the dog.

In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. I was sent to check and found that the shell exploded in the farmland. You stood there in rags, with dark eyes and tearful eyes. You said to me: Is it worth stealing a cabbage with a shell?

I miss the days we walked together. Spring is beautiful, birds are singing and flowers are fragrant. Everyone in the village praises you for your beauty and cuteness. The villagers also praised me for being smart and capable, and I came out to release pigs at such a young age.

When you are lonely, watermelon may be your best vent. You can cut, chop, chop, and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons!

1 The new diva sang rock and roll at the top of her lungs in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to make a big change ..." The bookworm who was reading a book suddenly looked up and was surprised.

Q: "Isn't the toilet empty?"

The male bathhouse and the female bathhouse in the school walk through the same door, so students of the opposite sex often meet them, which is quite embarrassing. One day, the bookworm walked to the door and happened to meet a junior.

When he came out, the bookworm couldn't dodge to say hello and said, "Are there many people inside?"

Once, I had dinner with my friends in a restaurant. We sat there waiting for the waiter to serve us. After a while, a beggar brought one.

A bowl came up to my friend's back and touched him gently, imagining that he wanted money. My friend was chatting with me, thinking that the waiter had brought the meal, so I didn't.

I turned and took the rice bowl from the beggar and put it in front of me. We were all stunned at that time, and the beggar wanted to cry more (kill him)

I didn't expect this, and there were people grabbing jobs) ~ ~ ~

When I was in college, one of my buddies met a beautiful woman on campus. It was love at first sight, and every day he was very emotional. When I went out to eat with him at noon one day, it was

The beauty happened to pass by, and my buddy immediately pulled me back and saw the beauty enter a noodle restaurant, and we also sat in it. I suggest

My buddy: "Senior three, hurry up ~" So he got up the courage, stepped forward, blushed and asked: "What's your name, classmate?" Nami

The woman looked at my buddy blankly: "My name is beef noodles." Dude was stupid, and I was laughing!

Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang an ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased."

Tong Tong said: "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'?"

A brother in the past dormitory suddenly sat up at 4 am and shouted, "Get up quickly, you are late for class!" " "Then two people immediately put on.

Clothes. I was playing pc at that time.

One night after eating my favorite bitter gourd, I said, "XXX (my mother's name), make me a bitter gourd, you go."

Death ... "It was probably loud. My mother, who slept in another cupboard, heard it. The next morning, she asked me angrily.

After ... ... crazy K even a meal ... can be said to be hanging. ......

A classmate went horseback riding during the day, was still very excited at night, and then fell asleep. We play cards. After a while, the man said, drive! Drive! Drive! Drive!

Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! ! ! ! !

A classmate likes to smoke while defecating. He just came out of the toilet and said to us loudly, "Ah, it's so cool to smoke and shit."

giddiness

Before 10, the first sentence when I returned to the dormitory was always "Did someone call me?" ...

1 1 Once, my roommate and I bickered in the dormitory. He said he couldn't beat me and called me "you are my grandfather's son!" " The whole dormitory 1 second is silent and then laughs wildly!

12 ate bad food once when I was a child, and wrote a sick note to the teacher the next day: "Teacher, I ate bad food yesterday and my stomach was upset.

Here, get up in the morning, vomit and diarrhea. . . "Cold, I don't know what the teacher thinks.

13 Once I had dinner with my cousin at home, I accidentally poured the soup and ran out of tissues. Cousin shouted: "hurry up, hurry up, get the toilet paper, get the toilet."

14 things at the same table fell to the ground, so I bent down to pick up my partner and stepped on it with my foot. Unexpectedly, I became angry as soon as I stepped on his hand: "Dare to step on my foot? ! "

15 in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XXX and said, XXX, stand on the wall for me! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ class violence

Cold ~ ~ ~

16 A foreign teacher once showed Mandarin in a big classroom. I wanted to give him a face and praise his standard of Mandarin, but it turned out to be you.

The standard words are really ordinary and cold, and everyone laughs at me.

17 and MM are in front of the stall selling soybean milk fritters. I shouted, "Boss, I want a bean paste." MM smiled.

18 Even the high school Chinese teacher said in class: You are the result of a dead cat meeting a blind mouse. . . Full of laughter!

19 When I was in the third grade of primary school, a classmate invited us to dinner on my birthday. When I got home, I said to my mother, "Mom, my classmate invited me on our wedding night today.

Eat! "

There were many people in the restaurant, and I shouted: Boss, a pepper without seasoning. . . . The waiter also repeated loudly: 1 1 table, did you add one?

Pepper with seasoning! ! ! . . .

2 1 I: That's our physics teacher. . .

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry. . .

My mother said to me before going out to play mahjong, "You put all your clothes in the refrigerator and put all your dishes in the washing machine."

On the 23rd, I went shopping! Suddenly I saw a crow croaking in the sky! So a word popped out of her mouth: "Oh, this green!" "

Frogs fly very low! I feel dizzy

I always make such mistakes ... because I talk too much.

When I was in junior high school, I read a text that XX was wandering in the corridor, while I read that XX was debauched in the corridor ... The teacher blushed.

In high school, I went out to play with my classmates. There is a China Everbright Bank near the school, which just opened, so there is still a red cloth on the sign ... but the cloth is hung.

I blocked Chinese characters ... I read "China Everbright Bank" ... My classmates laughed me crazy and I couldn't hold my head for years!

A person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then brought out a cold saying: if you drink too much urine, you will drink too much wine. ..

26 once I listened to the radio, what was the shopping guide hotline? Someone called in and the host asked him, "What's your name?" "

He replied, "Don't take your name! ~~~~~"

Buy oranges, boss: 1 yuan 5 1 kg. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

28 to a quick-acting grandmother: A few days ago, you were sitting on the bus, and the driver of 252 suddenly braked, and your center of gravity was unstable. You rushed out and asked the driver:

What can I do for you?

Students: Although the instructor is really busy, please don't say to me when you see me in the toilet, "Instructor, you have to come by yourself when you are so busy."

Go to the bathroom! "

It was very hot for 30 days, but the school was out of power. From day to night 10, our girls' dormitory is quiet at night, and everyone enjoys the cool on the balcony, boys.

The dormitory is very lively, but after a commotion, the boys seem to have reached some kind of knowledge, only to hear organized cries from the opposite corridor: "Hoo, coming!" "

Electricity! We need electricity! "About 10 minutes later, the school actually called, and there was a cheer from the opposite side, and the dormitory area became calm.

It was not until the evening 1 1 lights out time that the boys began to shout neatly, "delay, delay, we will delay!" "

The school, which has always been harsh, unexpectedly agreed to the unreasonable demands of this group of people and extended the call time for the first time.

Just as we were about to have a rest, something happened that I will never forget. Maybe the boys are too excited because their two boys are usually away.

Possible requirements were actually realized by the school, so there was a more organized and magnificent voice from the opposite boys' dormitory, .............:

"Women ... women ... we want women! ! ! "

3 1 tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!

My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. (I was going to say LCD)

33 classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant, cool, and shook his hair: "Boss, no onion rice noodles!" " After that, add:

"More rice noodles!" Boss: ". . . . Do you want rice noodles or onions? "

34. Once my classmate's mother called me in the dormitory.

I am used to saying "he is not in", but this time I want to say "he is out"

The result is: "He's gone ..."

35. In high school, everyone has a name tag. . Before an inspection, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bras and check.

Pull. . The audience was silent. . .

36. Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"

37. A classmate of my dormitory's high school classmate called. He said who to look for, I said I wasn't there, and then he said thank you.

38. In the past, others came to menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down."

Sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea! "

39. Our company has a car to go to work in the morning because the car is not big. On one occasion, a mm got on the bus without a seat.

Hello, a male colleague sitting next to me stood up and greeted her warmly and said, "So-and-so, sit on my ass!" " "I am a

Laugh till you get off ~!

40. In college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You are talking nonsense, I am not.

Not stupid!

4 1, a buddy of mine went on a blind date. When he came back, everyone asked him how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At noon, when the meal arrived, two people entered a house.

Arriving at the beef noodle restaurant, the girl shouted to the master: Hey, pull two bowls ~ ~ Lamian Noodles's master said: Do you want to eat? I eat and pull.

42. When I was a child, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well.

Yes (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

43 once the leader of the Education Bureau inspected the exercises between classes. After that, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in desperation, they forgot the words and held back.

After a long time, I shouted: "Retreat!"

44. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. I was halfway up the mountain. When I am tired, I want to have a rest. I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs by the roadside.

Go up and ask, "Wife ..."

45. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG just

Please, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it anymore, shouting, Teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, he

I have to (touch) silence ~ ~! ! !

46. One day I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call him uncle, but he said wrong, "Dad,

Come and sit down! "~ ~ cold! A bunch of classmates laughed to death.

47. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

48. When I was in primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Say that finish, I yelled with all my strength.

"I won't marry (lend) you." At that time, the students immediately quieted down.

49. Once I ordered a song at ktv, a mm shouted loudly: Give me a stick to cut "Double Jay" every week. ......

I spit on your face!

5 1 I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When we arrived at the platform, the bus had already left. So I had to chase and shout:

"Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! "

Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

A customer angrily ran into the tailor's shop, pointed to the fashion designed by the shopkeeper for him and said, "I was standing on the street corner yawning, and two people put letters in my mouth!" " "

A primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time. He was very nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: teachers and classmates, the topic I recited was: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves are red) ...

I am still a primary school student, and I am particularly envious of my classmates who are assigned by the teacher to read the composition. I always hoped that the teacher would let me read it. The opportunity has finally come.

So-and-so, read your composition to everyone!

Pupils stand up: "My teacher". Teacher, I look like your mother. ......

This time I am an unskilled host of a song and dance troupe.

At a performance, I hurried on stage without being ready. The performance takes turns. It's her turn to announce the curtain call: Audience friends, please listen to Du Zi flute next. ......

My family often plants green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender. My sister saw it when she came home for the New Year, and said to my mother with joy: Hey! Mom, this is so rude ... Mom and I both laughed.

57. A neighbor named Auntie goes to work by bike every day. I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely: grandma, big class ... bah! ..... I want to bite off my tongue.

One day, my classmate anonymous felt sorry for himself and suddenly turned to the person behind him and said, is my chest hair good-looking? Startled, he said, oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce.

When I was a primary school student, I made a resolution at the general meeting of the whole school: I should learn from the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army and deprive me of my right to political speech for life!

When I was 60 years old, my father told me that there was a paragraph about Liu Hulan in the Chinese book. When Liu Hulan voluntarily admitted to the Japanese that she had come to save the lives of the whole village, an old man came forward to save her. The line is: Alley, are you crazy? ! But in the era of * *, a poor rural child read aloud: Little madman, do you smell good?