Shanxi Jiaxin's crosstalk content

Cao: One crosstalk show after another.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: Crosstalk is the art of language, and China's language is profound.

Liu: That's right.

Cao: Every sentence has its meaning.

Liu: Oh?

Cao: Don't say a word, not even a punctuation mark. If you don't pay attention, you will make jokes.

Liu: Really?

Cao: Well, let's take our family as an example.

Liu: What's wrong?

Cao: I have a friend in Shanxi. He grew up in the mountains, without schooling or education.

How old is he? He is in his thirties, almost forty. We can both call it forgetting to make friends. I'm talking about it.

Call him second brother. Once he invited me to dinner.

Liu: Hmm.

Cao: It is expected to arrive at noon 1 1: 30.

Liu: Oh

Cao: Then I will go home. He also invited a guest.

Liu: Oh

Cao: But this one won't come until twelve o'clock.

Liu: Yo.

Cao: He was in a hurry, so he wrote a note.

Liu: No, no, why do you paint later?

Cao: Because he can't write.

Liu; oh

Cao: So I wrote a note.

Liu: You can only draw.

Cao: What do I draw? Draw a kitten with one hand covering her mouth and the other hand covering her mouth.

I don't understand what this means.

Liu: It's very strange.

Cao: He wrapped it up and gave the child at the door to his uncle in the front yard. He lives not far away.

Live in the front yard and send it away. After a while, the child will come back, and people will bring it back without it.

A note. When I look at what I draw, it is also a picture. It is painted in a birdcage.

There is a turtle on his face. The turtle's head is outside the birdcage, and the turtle is inside the birdcage.

As soon as he saw it, we didn't wait for him Let's eat. I said, no, no, no, leave me alone.

I still don't understand what this means.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: You just drew a kitten with one hand covering her mouth and the other hand covering her ass. What do you mean?

ah

Liu: Why?

Cao: Hi, I told him to invite him to dinner this afternoon.

Liu: Hello.

Cao: Oh, it's afternoon when you cover your ass. Then he drew a birdcage with a turtle's brain in it.

Wrapped outside the birdcage, the turtle is inside the birdcage. What does that mean?

Liu: Hmm.

Cao: He said I might not get out (Cao and Liu are both groping for elegance).

Oh, can't big Gail go out? Hi-tech, this thing

Liu: The background of the spy.

Cao: Oh, eat, eat, drink, eat, eat, eat, eat.

Drink it.

Liu: Why?

Cao: I'm going to perform in Taiyuan, Shanxi next week. Your hometown is also in Taiyuan. what can I do for you?

If you have anything, please give it to me. I'll take second brother to listen to it for you. Great, great, great.

Well, when you get to Taiyuan, you can find the sour master in Xinggan Village, and that's my father.

Honey, please bring me something. What should I bring? A letter, a letter 500 yuan.

Isn't this all 500 yuan? Yes, buy me a letter from 500 yuan. I'll give it to the east.

Xi Du received a short notice that he would go to Taiyuan for a performance by train the next day.

Liu: I have to go now.

Cao: I didn't bring my game machine when I got on the bus (sigh)

Liu: Why did you take that?

Cao: I didn't bring my book either. It's a long way to sleep. What do you think I'm doing?

(An audience member shouts: Open the letter)

Cao: A bosom friend. This is the bosom friend (the beauty of panic). Let me open the letter.

Liu: No, no, wait a minute. Don't be beautiful This is immoral, you know?

Cao: Yes.

Liu: I know, but I have to tear it down.

Cao: Are you in charge? I opened your letter. I opened your letter.

Liu: No, no.

Cao: Is there anything I can do for you? Are you in charge? Are you in charge?

Liu: Broken mouth.

Cao: It's none of your business.

Liu: That's all right.

Cao: Look, look. Take it out and have a look I'm very happy.

Liu: What's the matter

Cao: I drew another picture.

Liu: Why are they all paintings?

Cao: Well, I drew a picture, which is quite vivid.

Liu: What do you have?

Cao: There are seven camels on this side of the letter.

Liu: Camel?

Cao: Does the camel know?

Liu: Camels know.

Cao: (pointing to seven camels)

Liu: I said, I said, don't draw all seven in the future, ok?

Cao: There are seven camel letters. This is a big tree, and there are two flies on the branch.

There are four bastards lying on the floor, with two flagons and an egg beside them.

I don't understand. Fold it up and put it in the envelope. Take a nap. We will arrive in Taiyuan in a short time.

When I arrived at the Taiyuan Theatre, I took a tour the next day and took a look at the local area.

Liu: Fight.

Cao: Do you want to buy some local products?

Liu: Right.

Cao: It is said that it is a local product, and it is nothing more than alcohol and tobacco.

Liu: That's right.

Cao: I am used to drinking foreign wine in Beijing. Buy some cigarettes.

Liu: Alas, this line.

Cao: I want to see some local cigarettes. Alas, how much is this Shanxi cigarette in Yantan, 100 yuan a piece?

(Hesitant) If it's cheaper, 100 a piece. Buy it or not.

Liu: It's not negotiable.

Cao: Not expensive either. Buy one. Bring me the cigarette. I remember. I came here.

What business do you do

Liu: What is it?

Cao: Send something to the second brother's house.

Liu: Oh, yes.

Cao: Isn't that right, Mr. Acid from Xing 'an Village?

Liu: That's right.

Cao: Look for it. It's easy to find.

Liu: It's easy to find.

Cao: As soon as I saw the house, I went to the door and slapped Chai Fei.

Liu: No, there's no need to delay these days. You can say knock.

Cao: Are you making trouble?

Liu: No.

Cao: Knock.

Liu: Don't use that.

Cao: Knock.

Liu: Why do you knock when you have a doorbell?

Cao: I'll make every effort to see if it rings.

Liu: I'm here to play.

Cao: When the door opened, there stood an old man who was nearly sixty years old. I said you are the acid of Xinggan village.

Master? Yes, I am an acid Lord (Shanxi dialect). Your taste is sour. I said your son.

Let me bring you something. What did my son ask you to bring me? Come on, come on, come in, come in.

come

Liu: Let it in.

Cao: Let me in. My son asked you to bring me something. Hey, your son, let me bring you one.

There's 400 yuan left.

Liu: No, you were wrong about 500 yuan later.

Cao: Four hundred.

Liu: No, you just said 500 yuan.

Cao: What did I say?

Liu: No, there is a difference of one hundred dollars.

Cao: Nonsense. Buy cigarettes.

Liu: What about buying cigarettes with other people's money?

Cao: I'll try for him. Is it good or not?

Liu: Is anyone using you?

Cao: Are you in charge? I took your money. I took your money. what can I do for you? You're always sharp.

Things.

Liu: Why are you gossiping like this? It's none of my business.

Cao: A letter is for 400 yuan.

Liu: Hmm.

Cao: I handed over my things. The old man took the letter and opened it. Look at me. Look at this letter. Look at me.

What's your relationship with my son? a nodding acquaintance

Liu: No, you are brothers. You just said that.

Cao: (shaking his head) We can't say we are brothers.

Liu: Why?

Cao: Do you know that you stole 100 yuan from others to buy cigarettes? This is outrageous.

Liu: (angry) You are so cheap.

Cao: Don't worry, it's just a nodding acquaintance.

Liu: Look at this.

Cao: The old man read the letter, and I was wrong. You and my son are brothers. How did you know? -Letter

It is clearly written (questioned). Where is it written?

Liu: Yes.

Cao: Look, this letter is painted with seven camels. We Shanxi people have a rule called camel.

Liu: What are the rules?

Cao: Long-term five, a string of six, a handful of seven and a group of eight. There are seven camels painted on it, which means one.

Beat the child means that you and my son are brothers.

Liu: Oh

Cao: We are all camels.

Liu: Hey, I didn't say that.

Cao: I don't think this hundred dollars can solve the case.

Liu: I think so.

Cao: We must grit our teeth. How much money did my son ask you to bring me (a little something)-400.

Liu: It's empty.

Cao: (looking at the letter) No! Yeah! ! ! (shaking hands)

Liu: Can you not be nervous?

Cao: The luggage must be turned over.

Liu: Hey, don't bother.

Cao: 400- no, 500- where did you say 500?

Liu: Yes.

Cao: This letter is written clearly (horizontally). Write it where it is.

Liu: Energy fracture again. Tell me.

Cao: We're going to install it horizontally.

Liu: Oh

Cao: Look at this letter. There is a big tree painted on it. There are two flies on the fork of this tree. We are from Shanxi.

Call this fly a fly.

Liu: What's its name?

Cao: That's called a fly.

Liu: A fly?

Cao: The money we spend is also called silver.

Liu: Oh

Cao: Look at this photo. Two flies landed on the branch of a tree. My son told me that I had money.

(Speaking and gesturing)

Liu: (thinking for a long time) Wow! It's amazing!

Cao: Does it say 500? -It's 400.

Liu: Yes!

Cao: That's 400, that's 400-then look under the tree. There are four assholes and two flagons standing.

Thirty-two, two, nine, one, eight, fifty-that's fifty. That's fifty, too It didn't say 500.

(Horizontal installation)-There is an egg next to it!

Liu: Hello!

(The audience laughs! ! ! )

Cao: (Q) Are you from the earth?

Liu: It's amazing.

Cao: Is the way of communication special? Tell the truth, uncle. I bought a cigarette at 100 yuan.

Liu: To tell the truth.

Cao: That's all right. Money is a thing outside the body.

Liu: Look.

Cao: You can go if you want. I'm leaving tomorrow so that you can come to my house and bring me something in the evening.

I said yes, don't worry. Anyway, I went home again at night. The old man took out two envelopes.

These two help me take this big one to my son and this small one to your second brother.

Liu: Oh

Cao: Don't worry-don't open it. I said no, I said this.

There is no money in the room, is there? -No, you can't give you money.

Liu: drink ~!

Keep laughing ...)

Liu: That's right.

Cao: (Sorry) Are you bored like this?

Liu: It's quite interesting.

Cao: I'm embarrassed (covering my face)

Liu: How dare you?

Cao: I got something and got on the train and went back to Beijing. I'm so bored.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: I didn't bring my game machine either.

Liu: Oh

(A group of people in the audience shouted: Open the letter! ! ! )

Cao: There are more and more intimate friends.

Liu: Alas, you have failed in your studies.

Cao: I opened the letter to see if they had learned anything bad from me.

Liu: Almost.

Cao: Let me open the letter.

Liu: tear it down.

Cao: I'll open this big one first and take out the letter. Wow, this letter is really interesting!

Liu: What's wrong?

Cao: It's still a painting.

Liu: What do you have?

Cao: There are two buckets. The bottom of the bucket is buckled. There are two flies on the bucket.

Do you want to ask about the money here

Liu: Yes, I have money.

Cao: We know about silver. His father told me once.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: Look at the profile and draw a big circle and a small circle. There is a firecracker in the big circle.

The firecrackers set off during the Chinese New Year are a bit like a small circle with a layer of silkworm chrysalis outside.

Liu: I know.

Cao: Silkworm cocoon

Liu: You can make silk thread.

Cao: Oh, I don't know what things that make silk thread mean. It was folded and put in an envelope.

Take this small one apart.

Liu: I want to see everything.

Cao: I opened it and looked at it. Wow!

Liu: What do you mean?

Cao: This is very interesting.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: It's too coke.

Liu: Tell me about it.

Cao: Two pigeons, a duck, two pigeons and a duck. There are four pigeons and two ducks in all.

On this side of the letter, there is a picture of an elephant with a knife wrapped around its nose and the tip stuck in the neck of a goose.

Stabbed the goose, and its neck was bleeding.

Liu: Alas!

Cao: At the bottom of the letter, there is a picture of a broken chain and a small charcoal, and a small charcoal is drawn below.

People have crew cuts, black coats, one hundred dollars in hand and a cigarette in hand.

Side strokes)

(audience laughs ~! ! Constant sound)

Cao: (gesturing stupidly, watching) It seems that there is still me?

Liu: (I'm so happy) There must be you!

Cao: I don't know what this means. If I wait in the envelope, I won't sleep. I will wait here.

Liu: Well, why don't you do it?

Cao: Soon, I will be in Beijing. I didn't even go home after I came out of Beijing. I went straight to my second brother's house.

Liu: Oh

Cao: My second brother, I'll get the things. Thank you. Thank you for opening and closing the drawer.

Come on, you go-never mind, don't go, open it-never mind our letter. what are you reading?

-This is me (excited gesture). I'm coming. It's really, really, really me.

Liu: I missed it.

Cao: How can there be you-don't talk nonsense, just open it-OK, I'll open it, but don't tell anyone.

First, take this big one apart and open it-good gold. You must make such friends.

Liu: What happened?

Cao: What's the matter? You brought me money.-Where is it written? Look at this picture of two buckets.

There are two flies. We Shanxi people call this fly not a fly but a fly-I know there are flowers here.

Money is also called silver-oh, you know this. We don't call this bucket a bucket.

Liu: What's your name?

Cao: It's called Shuijian.

Liu: Oh

Cao: If you look at these two buckets, it means that the tip of the water is put down. This is a sentence to connect this fly.

Liu: What can I say?

Cao: The silver has arrived.

Liu: Very good.

Cao: If you pour water, you will pour water. Okay, what do I mean by big circle and small circle?

Liu: Huh?

Cao: The big circle is a rice bowl, and the small circle is a tea bowl. Oh, I said there is a firecracker in the big circle and a cocoon in the small circle.

What do you mean-my father thinks I think about it in tea and rice every day-there is a firecracker ringing in the rice.

Your family is terrible.

Liu: Great (thumbs up)

Cao: Oh, ok, ok, I see. Dad, he folded it and put it in an envelope. Okay, okay, let's go-

Don't go, just read the letter (excitedly)

Liu: This key.

Cao: No, no, no, I want to read my letter, not my wife's.

Ok, don't tell anyone. Open the letter. The second brother cried at first sight-why did the second brother cry?

Liu: Hmm.

Cao: Look, there are two pigeons and a duck painted on it. This is your sister-in-law calling me: brother.

Brother, brother

Liu: Well, it's really hard to say.

Cao: (speechless) Don't cry when I call you-keep reading. There is an elephant with a nose on this side of the letter.

There was a knife wrapped around it, and the tip of the knife stuck in a goose's neck, killing it.

Blood is a word in my mind.

Liu: What can I say?

Cao: Brother, brother, do you want to kill me (silly) like a goose?

Liu: You are such a thing.

Cao: I said, what do you mean by drawing a lotus root with a broken silk and a small piece of charcoal?

-Your sister-in-law thinks that I am thinking long and sighing short every day!

Liu: Great!

Cao: I said that there was a little man with a flat head and a black coat, holding a hundred dollars in his hand.

There is a cigarette in this hand. What does that mean?

Liu: Hmm.

Cao: Hey, you're welcome. My son doesn't steal 100 yuan to buy cigarettes like me-me!

(Two people step down and bow)