Interesting China jokes 100 questions

The entertainment function of jokes can reduce people's psychological pressure and promote their health. Next, I sorted out some interesting China jokes. Let's have a look.

Funny China jokes 1-20

1, I called you just now, and the voice prompt said: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is in the bathroom, please redial later! Then I dialed again, and it said, sorry, the subscriber you dialed has fallen into the toilet. Are you okay?

2. What color are the ants' teeth? Hey hey, you can't guess. To tell the truth, Guo Meimei's Not Afraid has ants with black teeth, ants with black teeth and ants with black teeth. So ants have black teeth.

3. "Once there was a simple riddle in front of me: the pig cried, let me type a song name. I guess, guess, guess. Until someone told me that the answer is: your face is crying. A little dog climbed onto the table and onto a roast chicken. The shopkeeper roared, I'll do what you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass! The master fainted. "

I was at a loss when you met me. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried: Whose dog is nobody's business?

A salesgirl in a department store fell in love for the first time, and when she kissed her boyfriend for the first time, she accidentally asked a madman in love: Do you want anything else?

6. The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

7、 ? A man and a Jane Doe are sitting on the bus. When the bus arrived, a man accidentally dropped his cigarette when he got off. Anonymous saw it, and he said, Sir, you dropped your cigarette! Male anger: You just got castrated! ? Have a nice weekend!

8. Nine out of ten households in a residential area are equipped with security doors, but only one household is not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on this door without a security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you! Good Night!

9. "Married to my village, my village is relatively rich, communication basically depends on yelling, and traffic basically depends on walking. Farming basically depends on cattle, lighting basically depends on oil, heating basically depends on shaking, getting rich basically depends on stealing, and beautiful women basically don't want it! "

10, female: twenty years old? Football, 20 people grab it! Thirty? Basketball, ten people grab it! Forty? Table tennis, two people pushing around! Fifty? Golf, play as far as you can.

1 1. One day, Xiaodong and Xiaoming went to play and saw a hole in the pants of the man in front. Xiaodong said: that man worked too hard and his pants were torn; Xiao Ming said: that man must often fart and burst his pants!

12, your clothes are clean and environmentally friendly, your body is glittering and translucent and soft, your skin is fair and smooth, your heart is rich and colorful, your figure is symmetrical and angular, and your breath is fragrant. I like you.-Zongzi

13, a family of three, the father is a robber, the mother is a kitchen knife, and the son is a trouble. One day, my son suddenly disappeared, so my father took my mother to the public security bureau and told the police that I was a robber and took a kitchen knife to make trouble.

14, a, I saw someone as soon as I closed my eyes. This is C, I'm D, Oh, my God, it's you, craning your neck, looking at hand G grinning with EF smug expression, and HH smiling.

15, if you are a mobile phone, I am your music card; If you are a fixed line, I am your receiver; If you are PHS, I will accompany you to roam, dear, let me be your eyes!

16, the first part: Mahjong Poker Golden Flower, lost home; Bottom line: the ancient road is thin and the west wind is thin, and the heartbroken people are in the end of the world.

17、 .？ I'm looking and looking! Keep looking! What am I looking for? I'm looking for dry food, water and legendary love! ! ! ? You are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as knowledgeable as a horse, as brilliant as a butterfly, as diligent as a bee, and like everything. No wonder everyone? Call you an animal! hahaha

18, full moon, doughnut, celestial circle, geosphere, reunion; Fortune, official, popularity, love, random life.

19, there is an ugly monkey in the zoo that makes everyone vomit. One day I went and I vomited; One day you went and the monkey threw up.

20. Your mother is really nice. You are so ugly, raise you! Your mother is so bad and you are so ugly, let it out to scare people!

Funny China joke 2 1-40

2 1, you flashed by, making my blood boil and my heart surge Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I told myself, I can't let you leave again, never ... catch a thief!

22. Wear other people's shoes and follow other people's path! Let others not only can't find shoes, but also let him have no way to go!

23. The flowers were drunk and cried with their leaves in their arms; The moon is tired and pulls a cloud to sleep; I miss you, drunk, tired of crying, heartbroken?

24. Without you, I am too lazy to paint the mirror yellow. Without you, three meals are tasteless. Human nature is better than marriage, but I expect that we can be together every day.

Mom, despite your objection, I still can't forget him. I only have eyes for him. Silly boy, don't fall in love. We are mice, but he is a mouse!

When the elephant saw a group of ants walking towards its home, he asked the ants, What are you doing? The ant said that Aunt Elephant was ill. Let's donate blood!

27. An ant was walking in the forest and was stepped on by a snail. As a result, he went to the hospital. The policeman asked, and the ant said; It all happened so fast that I didn't realize it.

28. I want to accompany you to blow the wind, but I'm afraid of rain. I want to go swimming with you, but I'm afraid of the envious eyes of others. I want to watch a movie with you, but I'm afraid of checking in. I said, no dogs.

29. There are many things in contemporary society: more words and less things, more money and less clothes at home, more ideas and less success, more jobs and less income, more friends and fewer guests. May you be happy.

30. Xiao Lv said to mother donkey. Mom, someone just sent me a harassing text message. Can't I go back? Mama donkey said that only pigs would come back. If it's a donkey, we won't go back. ?

3 1, winning money with one heart, red eyes, tasteless meals, weakness of limbs, abandonment of five industries, difficulty in recognizing six relatives, tears streaming down her face, borrowing money from all sides, being mired in the quagmire for nine (long) years, 100% disaster.

32. Please dial my mobile phone number: press 1 for work, press 2 for feelings, press 3 for life, # Please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me!

33. You lean on me gently, your slender hands touch my tender skin, and your gentle mouth sucks my body fluids until you are satisfied and float away! Oh, damn mosquitoes

Yesterday, you went to the mountain to play, but you met a wild boar and tried to eat you. At this critical moment, you shouted: Mom. The wild boar is stupefied: Baby, don't run around in the future. Look how thin you are.

35. My son sang loudly while taking a bath. Mom:? Baby, what time is it? Keep your voice down, I'm afraid of attracting wolves. ? Daughter:? You flatter him too much, he can only scare the wolf away! ? Have you ever heard of it? The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no? Stories?

36. Why are your eyes full of tears? Why do you look at me and tremble slightly? I know, as you know, we all have the same answer in our hearts: do you not only miss me, but also? Don't be ridiculous, I mean you are cold, too!

One day, the elephant accidentally trampled the ant family to death. Fortunately, one of them survived, and he vowed to keep this hatred. The opportunity finally came. He buried himself in the ground, put out one foot and said? When it comes, I will trip it to death. ?

38. Don't stop: the dream keeps chasing; Don't give up: there is a sunrise after the night; The road is bitter, and sweat is a beautiful gift. Remember, you will be happy, because-you are a pig.

39. Your mobile phone has the function of buying zongzi since June. Please call 1 10 for delivery. If you have any questions, please contact our website, Sanda, no sliding, no pit, no pit. I wish you a happy Dragon Boat Festival.

Please put the notebook on the table, and then put your chin on the notebook. Well, this is a holiday gift for you in advance-the notebook buffers your brain! Still a pig! I heard that you are moving? The address is 520 Xiang 'ai Road, Love City. The landlord is your favorite TA, the rent is your love, and the lease period is a lifetime. Congratulations! Congratulations!

Funny China joke 4 1-60

4 1. Soldiers call the chief: Report to the chief, the enemy is too cunning, and their hiding place is unexpected. The village chief replied: Idiot! Shoot at places you don't expect!

42. "A sparrow said: When I stood on the wire with her mouth that day, I felt dizzy and numb. Yes, that's what kissing feels like. I got an electric shock! "

43. Last night, I asked a mosquito to come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and let it kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? The big bag represents my heart.

44. I have always been by your side, and I have been worried about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Is it cold late at night? I know you can't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

45. You are very handsome. You have a nest of cabbage on your head and a sack of kelp in your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation of the fallen God!

46. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. Do you think I grew up eating? I've always wondered what he grew up eating. Your mobile phone has the latest popular virus. Now I will teach you how to remove the virus: first put the mobile phone in a pot for high-temperature disinfection, and then add salt and monosodium glutamate. Wait for the phone screen to appear? Disinfection successful? Until!

47. Don't ask me why I am crying. I shed tears for you and my heart is broken for you. I hate that man. Why did he take you away from me ... you thief!

48. "One day, a drunk took a taxi home, stretched out his hand and stopped a patrol car 1 10, shouting: Even if you 1 10 kilometers, there is no need to write so big! ! ! "

49. A lover is a road, but a friend is a pig. There is only one way in life. There are countless pigs on the road. Don't forget your way when you are rich, don't sell pigs when you are short of money, don't get lost when you are happy, and feed pigs when you are at rest.

50. Teach you four magic weapons to identify a man's merits and demerits: identify his circle of friends; Identify the degree of his love; Agree with his tolerance; Identify his work attitude.

5 1, man next door finally vowed to lose weight? At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Sorry, buddy, you're blocking my cell phone signal. ?

52. Your voice comes from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It is you! It is really you! You are with an old man, and I excitedly ran over and said, Uncle, borrow a donkey!

53, I like Anita Mui, dead, I like Barbara Yung, committed suicide, I like Ka Kui Wong, fell dead, I like Leslie Cheung, jumped off a building, I like you, you have the final say?

54. "As a gangster, I am very cautious in texting. Fame is given by everyone, and status is spelled by brothers. I am responsible for everyone! I remind you for decades: children! It's time to pay the protection fee. I heard that your mobile phone doesn't have short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it, confirm that there is a short message function and it is not sent by me, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours! "

55. A meteor flashed in the night sky. I quickly made a wish, hoping that you would become more beautiful. Who knows I just made a wish, a meteor? Come back slowly with a whoosh and say to me, big brother! It really embarrassed me, didn't it?

56, the New Year, send you a pair of couplets! The first part: eat what you should eat, drink what you should drink, and don't take it personally. Bottom line: Take a bath and look at your watch. One second is very comfortable. Horizontal batch: Just be happy!

57. Cats need protection money when they meet mice. Although the mouse had no money to pay, it was beaten. Escaped to the bottom of the wardrobe and turned into a plastic bag, revealing only half of the body. The cat said, damn it, you have no money and you still wear a leather jacket. ?

I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-sofa.

59. The pig asked his mother sadly, Mom, am I so stupid? Mother pig comforted the pig and said, silly son, you are not stupid. The person reading this news is more stupid than you!

60, your happiness, I will build; I will give in to your rectification; I will make up for your confusion; Your greed, I will satisfy it!

Funny China joke 6 1-80

6 1, New Year's new scene, new atmosphere, new clothes, new hats, new tea, new wine, new friends, new poems, new words and new chapters. I sincerely wish you all the best! Happy new year!

62. "The teacher asked Xiaoming: Did you do that problem? Xiaoming: Which question? Teacher: 3 times 7. Xiao Ming replied: I don't care, I wrote 17. "

63, the head can be broken, but the hairstyle can't be messy! Blood can flow, shoes should be oiled!

64. "Ducks and crabs run to the finish line together, and it is difficult to tell the winner. The referee said, why don't you have scissors, stones and cloth? Duck is furious: Are you deceiving others too much and calculating me? When I make cloth, he always scissors. "

65. "Why didn't you say hello when you met a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak on the street? Because they are all "unfamiliar"

66. The most beautiful thing in the world is the process. Knowing each other is the hardest, waiting is the hardest, true love is the happiest, I am most afraid of misunderstanding, I am most sorry to miss it, and I am the happiest with your good friend.

67. "Seeing you occasionally makes your eyes almost discharge me. I dare not change my stance in this embarrassing scene. I want to draw a line with you with my eyes. I don't want you to open your mouth and kiss me. Oh, my God! Whose big German shepherd is not tied? "

68. A family has three brothers. The boss is called a rogue, the second is called a kitchen knife, and the third is called trouble. One day, the third child got lost, and the boss took the second child to the police. When I arrived at the police station, the boss said, I am a hooligan who made trouble with a kitchen knife.

69. Xiaoming is loitering in a supermarket. He put his hand into the machine that can check the price. The results showed that trotters spent 10 yuan. Xiao Ming thought there was something wrong with the machine and put his head in the past. I almost died laughing: pig head, 35 yuan.

70. "I am really desperate. The country has developed the mountain into a tourist area, and Master married Bai a few days ago. I had no money to eat yesterday, so I sold my golden hoop. I really miss the days when we studied classics together! How are you, Xiao Er? "

7 1. A thief was caught by mistake. The judge asked him, why did you break into the same store three times a night and take only one dress at a time? Prisoner: I stole a skirt. My wife was not satisfied and asked me to change it twice.

72. "Congratulations on being admitted to Frog University, Toad Department and shameless class. Please take the certificate of mental illness, take bus No.250 to Fool Road and get off at Fool Station. Please stand at the door and giggle when you register! "

Dear mobile phone users: Since your mobile phone has affected the signal of satellite communication, please stop using your current mobile phone from now until the end of March next year. Otherwise, there will be consequences.

74. "Every story is a kind of fate. Inadvertent miss becomes an accident. What can stand the test is the real fate that is inconvenient for a lifetime. When you miss me and I miss you the most, a silly boy finally got up the courage to say to the girl he likes: What kind of boy do you like? The girl thought about it and said that it was very congenial. " The boy is very sad. He held back for a long time and said, "You have to have a round head. Can it be flattened? "

75. The wolf was ill, and the rabbit came to visit with carrots. Wolf: I will come as soon as I come. Why bring a gift? Rabbit: Let's see. People say that you may not like this gift. Wolf: I like your gift very much, Mr. Carrot.

76, the woman is ugly, can't marry, and hopes to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

77. Say: Hey, the official has a shelf, and the little hand is still on his back? Concave said to convex: although our huxing is different, the area is actually similar! I say to you: sample, don't contact me if you find someone!

78. "I saw you the other day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked: What are you doing? You smile mysteriously: shh, keep your voice down. When I get a tan, no one will call me an idiot. Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale fiercely, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman. "

79. "Little Shenyang Quotations: The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren."

80. Boring World Boring My Boring Day Send a boring message as my boring greeting at this boring moment. Actually, I really want to ask you, are you bored?

Interesting China joke 8 1- 100

8 1, Xiaoli bragged about how good her boyfriend was, Adazhen said? Of course, one in a hundred. Then he said: there is only one bad one out of a hundred good ones, you choose! ?

82. ask for help: Fuoco! ? The fire brigade operator asked? Where is it? At my house! ? I mean, how do we get to your house? Don't you have a fire truck?

83, steamed bread and noodles fight, steamed bread cried at that time, and then go home and call the steamed bread for revenge, the result is that instant noodles open the door, steamed bread said: you burned your head, I know you! ?

84. English level 10 wishes: Lotus root buys small change, low price, loves spicy food rather than oil, miso oil is searched for hemp to eat, Avant vomits dead oil, loves tiger oil, ouch, resists being forced to be busy, Kangmangkang is busy, and Hapi is busy every day!

85. All the mental patients took a bath in the rain, except one who didn't go. The doctor asked happily:? Why don't you go? He said:? You think I'm sick. I'll wait until the water is hot. ? Love should be gentle as water and sweet as honey; Opponents should choose smart, capable and powerful; Colleagues should choose those who work hard and have no temper, and friends should choose those with pig's head and runny nose. Stop looking and wipe your nose.

86. A couple took a train. After the train passed through the long and dark tunnel, the man said, if I had known the tunnel was so long, I should have kissed you just now. The woman screamed, wasn't it you who kissed me just now?

Teacher: Please use it? Sad? Make sentences; Student: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is really sad. Teacher's comment: The teacher is sadder than you.

88. Love is empty, and I wander in the street; People are empty of money, and a single evil cause is troublesome; Things are different, business is empty, and it is crazy to think about it; Life is not easy when the mobile phone is empty and there is no money to charge it;

89. The cock chased the hen. The cock's eyes were red and silent, and the hen was moved. Newly married, hen: You are so cool. Why didn't you scream? Rooster: Drink too much that day? Afraid of vomiting.

90. I used to think that if I didn't know you, I wouldn't be so miserable, but now I know that if I don't have this, I will lose everything because I love you.

9 1, in a bar, a man blew in the sea: When I have money, buy a plane and go for a ride in the sky! A drunk ran over and chimed in: What are you doing? I'm driving the earth around the universe now, and you who didn't buy tickets are going to die!

92. The landlord is looking at the house with the new tenant. Tenant:? It seems that the house often leaks water. ? Landlord:? No, no, it only leaks when it rains. ?

93. Spend 200 yuan to buy a pig, squeak to drink water, rattle to eat beans, throw it over the wall, squeak, and guess what!

94. Don't stop, keep chasing your dreams; Don't give up, there will be a sunrise after the night; The road is bitter, and sweat is a beautiful blessing; Remember, success is the next step; Take a big step, yes, and then fall into the cesspit.

95. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, should I at least eat a pair of whales?

96. A college student was arrested. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Where are you from? Don't electrocute you! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said: I am the father of TV University, and someone stole our car. Do you recognize this man's face? I didn't pay attention, but I remembered the car number!

97. What will be my son's name in the future? Beautiful? Then people will see me and say: Beautiful mother! ? I gave birth to a son named Shuai, and others said: handsome dad!

98. Today, when you woke up, there was a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there was a will next to it: I struggled all night, and your thick skin made me live in this world. Lord! Forgive him. I killed myself.

99. What I want most is the seven fairies, the RMB, the ladder and God! God was born today. Beat him while he is young, or wait for him to grow up.

100, Dad: 1 What's 2? Son: I don't know. Dad: For example, your mother and I, plus you, a * * *, how much is it? Idiot! The son immediately replied: 3 idiots!