Who has flirtatious words between husband and wife and needs more humorous and explicit words close to life?

1. My husband is watching TV on the sofa, and my wife is sitting on his lap wrapped in a bath towel, and she says in a variety of ways, "Grandpa, you want a little girl, right?" Husband deliberately sits still: "Don't don't, uncle, I don't have money on me today. 1 Wife:" What money is not money, just let the little girl be cool, and make up an iou afterwards. 1 Husband is dizzy, and there are still debts on this matter! 2. My husband lifted his wife's chin with one hand and said teasingly, "Girl, come on, sing a song for me." My wife patted my hand: "Guest, please show some respect, little girl. I only sell my body but don't sell art." My husband was surprised and hit the gun!

3. My husband was lying in bed reading a book after taking a shower. My wife came out of the bathroom and a hungry tiger pounced on me. She said grimly, "Hey, little brother is good-looking, little girl. I want to taste something today. My husband will fight to the death. When the wife saw her husband's disobedience, she turned gently and said, "Grandpa, did you follow the little girl?" My husband said, "Give me a reason. First, my wife made a sly turn:" My little girl has just been released from prison, and she hasn't eaten meat for several years. "My husband said," My mother, that's a good reason. "

4 The wife asked her husband," What do you mean when men always say that women are man show and man show? " The husband said, "man show means dignified appearance and fiery heart." The wife asked again, "Do you think I count?" The husband pretended to look at her carefully, then shook his head: "You are not one." The wife nodded: "I think so, too. I should belong to Ming Sao." The husband snickered in his heart: "accurate but not comprehensive. 1 The wife wondered:" What is that? " The husband proudly replied: "You belong to Quansao 1. The husband thought that this fight is inevitable!

5. One night, my husband went to KTV with his clients and came home very late. When he first got home, he thought his wife was asleep, so he crept into the bathroom to take a bath. Just undressed, my wife suddenly appeared and snapped, "Do you want to destroy the evidence?" My husband was shocked and said, "No, no, before I went out, my knife and gun were put in storage." My wife smiled twice and reached out and touched her husband's jj. "Well, I haven't lost my gun yet, but I have to check if there are any bullets." My husband said, "Darling, is there any way to check this?" You stayed up all night for this?

6. My wife likes all beautiful things, including handsome boys and beautiful girls. The greatest pleasure of going shopping with my wife is that she will collect handsome boys and beautiful girls for me to watch everywhere. Tired of shopping once, they sat in front of Starbucks window and enjoyed the beautiful women in Sichuan. The wife asked her husband stupidly while admiring it: "Who do you think so many beautiful women sleep with at night?" The husband glared at her in surprise and replied, "The wife of Se-Wolf 1 was also surprised:" Ah? Wouldn't it be cheaper for those wolves? " The husband simply laughed and cried, and flicked her head with his finger: "It's cheaper for you! What do you think about all day? A head full of sorghum flowers! I said that you are a sex-wolf 1 "Oh, my wife nodded inexplicably and said something that made my husband's liver ache:" Then I sleep with them, who do you sleep with? " Husband said: I also want to sleep with them. You must not abolish me.

7. Once my husband made a small fortune outside and threw the envelope at his wife when he got home: "Girl, you did a good job last month. This is a tip from your uncle. My wife looked like she was greedy, took the envelope and kissed her husband. She said with amorous feelings," Thank you, it is a little girl's duty to serve my uncle well.

8. Mao Bo, whose wife burped when she breathed in the cool breeze, went home after work one evening. Her husband asked with concern, "Did you drink the wind again?" The wife sighed sadly: "What if you don't drink the wind?"? You haven't favored a little girl for several days, and she has no income, so she has to drink the northwest wind. My husband just remembered that he didn't have sex with his wife for two or three days, so he went forward and got all thumbs up. My wife was quite cooperative at first, but it came to an abrupt end at the critical moment: "Well, I'd better continue to drink the wind. My husband is a little confused:" Why? " The wife smiled a captivating smile: "It's not convenient for my old friends to leave yet. 1 The husband said: I say, why are you so disciplined these days!

9. On a Saturday, my wife had a normal rest and my husband had to work overtime. When I got up in the morning, my wife pestered me and made love to my husband, and then I went back to sleep contentedly, but my husband had to go to the company full of fatigue. The husband said hello to his wife and was about to leave the bedroom. The wife came behind him and said, "Grandpa, come another day." The husband nodded, "Come here." Huh? " Thanks to her husband's quick response, she quickly said, "How dare you come tomorrow! Come here tonight. 1 "That's more like it! Go on, my little girl continued to sleep peacefully for 1 minute. It's really a companion for her wife. It's really not good to be slow!

1. Husband and wife fell in love when they were in college. At that time, girls were allowed to enter the boys' dormitory, while boys were not allowed to enter the girls' dormitory. One late autumn night, the husband made his wife angry, and the wife left her husband and went back to the dormitory. At that time, there was no mobile phone, and my wife lived on the third floor, so my husband shouted downstairs to apologize to her. Shouting for a long time didn't work, but more and more people were watching. Seeing that the lights went out, my wife asked her roommate to throw her quilt down from the window (the quilt was given by her husband, who knew it). When her husband saw that the situation was not good, he quickly shouted, "Please throw another pillow down. I didn't know that there was no following, but it was accompanied by laughter all over the building. The hero didn't suffer immediate loss, so her husband rushed back to the dormitory and was covered with her quilt and was fragrant all night. The next morning, before her husband woke up, his wife stood in front of him and picked up the quilt and beat him up: "You heartless! You're quite comfortable with your nose running all night because of the cold, wife! You think I don't miss you!

11. One winter was particularly cold, and my husband and wife went to the park to play one weekend. Seeing many people skating on the ice of the lake, my husband invited his wife to skate with him, but she didn't dare. In order to prove the firmness of the ice surface, my husband took the lead in setting an example and ran to the ice surface to play for a circle. Seeing his wife's heart itch, he finally had the idea of itching. My husband picked her up from the center of the lake to the shore. When there was still about one meter offshore, he jumped up to prove that there was no danger. As a result, he fell into the ice hole with a bang. Fortunately, the water on the shore was shallow, and the water only flooded my husband's waist. My wife screamed with fear and almost cried. My husband struggled to get out of the mire. After ensuring that her husband was all right, my wife seriously asked her husband, "Is my little brother not frozen?" My husband nodded his head hard, holding back the terrible cold. "Not bad, the little thing is a hiss of a polar bear. My husband feels cold when he thinks about it now!"