Jealousy Arguments

Source: Zhang Jinyang’s Blog

Turning Jealousy into Strength

Today, my deskmate Guo Sheng sent a text message telling Jin Yang that he had returned to Guangzhou. "Copy that." I replied with two words to him, because I couldn't give myself another reason to say the third word.

It starts from the day I first came to Guangzhou four years ago.

Many friends know Jin Yang’s experience. He has been in several cities. The worst time was when he carried four bags from Zhaoqing to Guangzhou.

At that time, I was working as a financial manager in a Hong Kong-funded company in Zhaoqing. However, due to my age and experience, I was too young to remain calm. After discovering some financial problems, I did not resolve them. Very good grasp and processing, I couldn't do it anymore, so I had to get out of there.

It was drizzling that day, and I was in a sour mood. I dragged a few luggages and got on the bus to Guangzhou. On the bus, I thought of him, my classmate for several years in college. He went to Guangzhou after graduation. His family background is very good. His parents bought a house in Guangzhou and he has been working in Guangzhou.

When we were in college, we were very good friends, more like brothers and buddies. He used to be a very kind and simple person, about 1.8 meters tall, and very handsome.

I called him and told him my situation. I hoped he could help me find a place to stay if it was convenient, or he could store my luggage for a few days. I couldn’t drag my luggage around. Just work.

He promised on the other end of the phone, but after I got off the bus, I couldn't get through to him again for three or four days. I think I will never have the chance to understand again why he shut down and why he gave me the feeling of resentment and despair.

Am I so annoying to him? When we graduated, we said we would bless each other and support each other! Am I really that troublesome? Guangzhou, Guangzhou, why did a simple person become so snobbish and selfish in the noisy sky of Suicheng? Why can't our relationship for several years be exchanged for a few days of his care?

Guangzhou suddenly felt terrible. At that time, the theme song of "Outside Girl" always sounded in my ears: "I can refuse a lot of love/A lot of dreams can be omitted/But I can't forget your smiling face/Think of the long road/Wipe the shoes under my feet /No matter what season it is tomorrow..."

After four years of hard work and four years of searching, I think that as a person who has washed away all the troubles, I will never pay attention to or resent him and what happened that day. .

Xiao Ling said something that day, and I think there is some truth to it. "If people don't act for themselves, heaven and earth will perish." How he treats Jin Yang is his choice; and what attitude I use to treat him afterwards is my choice.

I choose peace and friendship, because I care about every passer-by in this world. Meeting and acquaintance is fate, and "the eternal origin of fate" is the realm I pursue.

**** ***** ****

But when I turned around and saw that I couldn’t contact him, it gave me great fear at that time. My eyes were dark, and I didn’t know where to go when I arrived in Guangzhou, let alone where to start.

Ever since I spent six yuan to take a motorcycle to Tianhe, I have developed a bond with Guangzhou.

I don’t like to reminisce about the bitter and the sweet, and it has no value. I don’t want to mention my experiences of living under bridges and in parks. Now I think about it, it is the greatest wealth in my life, and it gives me the power to change. .

After all, everything is over.

Jin Yang was lucky. 20 days later he joined a joint venture cosmetics group, and a year later he went to Valentino as a senior executive. When I was in the Cosmetics Group, the company was located in CITIC Plaza. Friends in the Pearl River Delta may know that CITIC Plaza is the most high-end office building in Guangzhou. When I was at CITIC, I called him twice because I thought there were only When we are in Guangzhou, we always take care of each other, and I never care about who invites whom.

He readily agreed, but never kept the appointment.

A year and a half later, when I was working at the Bank of America Center on Renmin Middle Road, I went to Tianhe Metropolis for business and miraculously met him again at the entrance of an underground tunnel.

I handed him a business card, but I didn’t get any of his contact information, and I didn’t know where he worked specifically. I heard he was the purchasing director at Carrefour.

After chatting for five minutes, each went his own way.

One day two months later, I got a bonus and wanted to invite him to tea on a whim. He on the other end of the phone refused because he was busy, hung up the phone, and scolded himself. One sentence: "What a shame!"

I never took the initiative to call him again.

One day two years later, he called Jin Yang and said that he had gone to Gome and was transferred to Beijing, and he was very distressed. I had no idea what his intentions were, but I still vaguely felt something.

I asked him if he wanted my help. Maybe I could still find an ordinary job, but if my expectations were too high, there was nothing I could do. After all, people need a process of recognition, and I Little is known about his experience and abilities.

He changed the topic evasively, and I didn’t mention the previous topic again, leaving it alone again.

The two brothers who had been sincere to each other for several years have become distant and strangers in the stormy city of Guangzhou.

I have said to my father more than once that I don’t understand why this is happening and what he is afraid and worried about. If he is afraid and worried that I will trouble him when I first come to Guangzhou, then I can understand .

But in the past few years, I will not cause any trouble for him. In fact, I may be able to support and help him, but why is he still avoiding me? No Are you willing to face me? Even if it's just a simple meal or a meeting?

My father said that it was because he might be mentally unbalanced.

Originally, his family background and starting point are higher than yours, but his situation may not be as good as yours. Of course, there will be some imbalance, which is caused by jealousy.

Jealousy is the devil. Jealousy is extremely lethal. It can turn love into hatred, and turn best friends into the most terrifying enemies. You just become strangers, of course it is normal. .

Maybe you invite him sincerely, but the other person may feel that you are showing off. Maybe there is something wrong with your invitation method, and you fail to make the other party feel the sincerity from the heart.

Thinking about what his father said, it really makes sense. After all, the real problem is Jin Yang himself.

*** ***** *****

Like other emotions, jealousy is an instinctive force. As an instinctive reaction, jealousy is deeply rooted in different generations and cultures. Polygamy is practiced among some African tribes, and there is almost a rule there which stipulates that the husband should be very conscientious and impartial, and favor all his wives strictly equally. The wives' personal huts were arranged in a semicircle around their husbands' huts, and they all watched to see if their husbands stayed with any of their wives for even a little while.

Our real lives are also full of jealousy. Almost anything that someone else has that they don't have but desires to have can be a trigger for jealousy. Beauty, health, money, power, love... In the field of love, we like to use the word "jealousy". The sour smell of vinegar vividly illustrates the psychological feeling of jealousy.

Some scholars believe that as long as there is inequality between people, there will be soil for jealousy to flourish.

When it is induced by the environment, people will generate a certain amount of energy. Not letting it out is as uncomfortable as drinking vinegar, and some people turn it into destructive actions. This is why people always dare not openly admit that they are jealous, because jealousy can easily be linked to destruction and damage their personal image.

In Munich in 1953, there was an older and older girl who was pushing her girlfriend's baby for a walk in a stroller. Suddenly she pushed the stroller and the child into the Isar River. Psychiatric experts investigated and found that the female prisoner suddenly couldn't restrain her jealousy and committed the crime. She was jealous of her girlfriend's happiness reflected in the child.

On March 15, 1960, various newspapers in the United States published a piece of news: "A boy murderer armed with an iron rod confessed that the motive for the murder was jealousy of the woman's property." 17 years old David Maltz, the son of a laundromat worker, was often invited to his home by a classmate to use their private swimming pool. Jealous of the family's wealth, he beat his classmate's mother to death.

Not long ago, a female graduate student in the Department of Psychology at Peking University was jealous that her classmate had received a high scholarship from an American university. She secretly sent an e-mail in the name of her classmate, saying that she was giving up the opportunity, which resulted in the scholarship being transferred to someone else. A friend asked me that psychology students should be better at handling their emotions, why do they still do this? This shows how deep-rooted jealousy is. It is said that the perpetrator's psychological quality is indeed very good, and he does not change his attitude in court. However, the top students from prestigious universities still become captives of jealousy.

Jealousy is so terrible and so inseparable from us. We cannot eliminate jealousy. The best way is to turn the power of jealousy into constructive energy for action. Feel free to be jealous of others, find the gaps, and catch up.

When you say "I'm jealous" with confidence, you have defeated jealousy to a certain extent.

Treat the success of others and those who are better than yourself correctly. The world is so vast, and there are endless successful and outstanding people. There is no need for us to look for trouble and hate them, because no matter what, in this world, you are definitely "unique", which in itself is an innate sense. We don’t have to underestimate ourselves in terms of success and excellence.

But at the same time, we must also know that "there are people outside the world, and there is a sky outside the sky." The world is very vast! This situation cannot be changed by us personally, so we might as well accept this objective fact. Let us learn from outstanding people, use the power of "jealousy" positively, and grow together with them.

I read until 4:30 in the morning last night. It was so enjoyable that I read half of Haichuan’s works in one go. Lin Haichuan, the first author of China Life Insurance, a famous speaker, trainer, and star of Mobai in Beijing...

I like the most from "Win Sales" written by Mr. Lin Haichuan to Jin Yang in Beijing. Quote: The reason why people are great is that they have dreams, but dreams without action are always just illusions.

It doesn’t matter if you are poor, what matters is if you don’t think about change if you are poor; difficulties are not the problem, but the attitude towards facing difficulties is the problem; jealousy is not terrible, but the terrible thing is that we fail to correctly understand the enlightenment that jealousy brings us, and we fail to Choose the right way to deal with and transform jealousy.

Jealousy is a good recipe for dreams and actions. Let the three words "I am jealous" become the most positive and positive dialogue in our hearts, turn jealousy into strength, and make more treks And the confused figure gradually opens a door to real success, and "jealousy" turns into the greatest wealth and power in our hearts.

In fact, whether it is to me, to him, or to the friends around me, it doesn’t matter what we were jealous of in the past, and it doesn’t matter what we are jealous of now, neither success nor failure. The ending is just the process in Edison's eyes.

A person’s success depends on choice always outweighing effort.