Love in college

when I contacted her again, it was in my freshman semester. I can't remember the exact time, but I remember it was around the Dragon Boat Festival. It was the weekend, and my classmates and I sat in front of the computer in the Internet cafe again. Just slightly different from my classmates, I can't play games and I'm not interested. Just watch the news there, go to school (now it's renamed renren), talk about QQ and pass the boring time.

at that time, I just learned to use QQ, and everyone felt novel, so I kept looking for and adding friends. Junior high school students, high school students, college students, and students who know and are not familiar with them have all been added. Of course, including her.

At that time, I was just a freshman, so it was inevitable to greet my classmates. Ask about the school, major, mobile phone number, QQ number and so on. We were the same at that time, and we couldn't find any topic after all the greetings were routine. The scene became awkward. I was ready to go offline, but I saw a line of small words suddenly appearing on the computer screen, writing: I felt that you knew so much when I was in high school, and I admired you very much. How do you know so much?

How can she remember me? It seems that I haven't been in her class for long, and I even forget her appearance. What a shame. I can only take it one step at a time and write: No, but my interest is wider than others.

I can't. I know too little.

just read more books.

How are you staying in Zhenjiang?

Not bad, but I'm not used to the climate here. I've lost more than ten kilograms. How about you?

It's better to lose weight. I'm still the same, after all, in this province (what's her old look like? It slipped my mind. )

Really?

Our chat finally ended in a neutral atmosphere. After all, even people with high enthusiasm will find it boring when faced with a stone that has remained unchanged for thousands of years, not to mention that I am not as good as a stone. Finally, we said goodbye to each other, and we were going to leave directly, but we saw a few words appear on the screen: < P > It was nice chatting with you.

really? This is the first time you've told me that.

hehe, that's really an honor. I'll contact you another day.

ok.

bye.

bye.

when I turned off the computer, I suddenly felt a sense of loss. It's just that feeling, but I'm overwhelmed by the hot air for no reason.

I didn't expect that one day two weeks later, she actually called me. On the phone, we had a very speculative chat. Although I always suspected that she was deliberately responding to me, this was not the most important thing. For the first time, I found that I could be so relaxed in front of girls. After that, she called me almost every once in a while. But I, because of my personality, have never contacted her actively. Therefore, we have always been so tepid and have not made much progress.

This situation has changed since the second semester of sophomore year. At that time, I just lost my nerdy temperament in high school and began to think about women. After thinking about it, I think she is the most suitable. She is nice and looks good, but the most important thing is that I am familiar with her. I am not nervous when I am with her. It is natural. But my bookworm hasn't faded, and the whole person is in a state of ignorance, vague thoughts and vague actions. As a result, the whole thing is vague.

At that time, I had to call her once a week. Although the frequency was not high compared with many people, it was already my upper limit. I don't like the feeling of sticking together every day. After a long time, I will become speechless and tired. We talked more and more topics on the phone, with a wider range and longer time. What I haven't thought about before, or what I thought about but didn't dare to say, should now be commonplace. Of course, because my brain capacity is limited and my imagination is not rich enough, what I say doesn't seem to have any artistic content, and it's still wooden.

finally, our relationship reached its peak at the end of the semester.

At that time, Shanghai was hosting the World Expo, which was a grand event that we both longed for very much. I didn't see the Olympic Games. That's because I was poor. The tickets for the World Expo were only 8 or 9 yuan, and the provinces came out. In the two weeks near the end of the term, we will make a phone call almost every two days to talk about the Expo, study, life and everything. Finally, she decided to come from home and go to the World Expo with me and my classmates. What I just didn't expect was that she had something to do temporarily and couldn't come, so I had to go first with my classmates. What a pity. When I came home, my grandmother called and urged me to go home early. I thought it necessary to meet her first, so I went to her school. Played together for three days.

those three days may be my best memories with her. We are together every day and play everywhere. Although it can't be said that the two sides are happy, they are quite happy. However, I was ignorant again at that time. After playing in a fog for three days, I went home in a fog, and then things were really in a fog.

something happened to our family in April this year, and grandpa left. And I was kept in the dark for two or three months. There was really nothing to say except that I was stupid. When I got home, I found that the atmosphere was wrong and it was suffocating. Grandma looked at me and just cried, so did my mother, my aunt and my aunt. Dad looked at me, travel-stained, said a sentence and came back, sitting on a stool and stuffy there. I suddenly felt as if the sky were falling. Although I didn't shed a tear, my heart was so painful that I had to comfort my grandmother and them. Looking back now, I still have a panic in my heart and can't vent.

Because of this incident, the original plan to make an appointment with her to go to the Expo before the start of junior year finally failed. Only on the day she returned to Harbin, just as I was going to school, did she meet in Harbin Railway Station in a hurry. And this farewell, I never had a chance to see her again.

Now think about it, before fate prepared to send me the darkest day, it even made me have a carnival unconsciously. His old man's house is really good at playing tricks on people.

because of grandpa, I was in a trance throughout my junior year. I'm even less in the mood for love. Although our relationship is not broken, we can't talk about any great progress. Until the middle of December, I suddenly missed her so much that I couldn't wait to see her at once. I found that I really fell in love with her, but I was afraid to call, for fear that once I said it, I wouldn't even be friends. Finally, when I finally couldn't bear to miss her, I carefully sent her a short message with something like this: < P > Me: Are you seeing someone? (know perfectly well past ask)

She: No, why, you should introduce me to someone.

me: well, that's me.

She: Stop joking, you are not Zhang Dongyan!

me: I'm Zhang Dongyan, and I mean what I say.

She:

Not surprisingly, I was rejected. But she doesn't seem to take these seriously. Of course, she may just pretend that nothing is wrong. After all, it is impossible to be as calm as before to suddenly find a wolf waiting beside you, or a wolf with a fierce eye. And that's the turning point in our relationship.

Time came to junior year next semester step by step. Due to the pressure of my family, I prepared for the postgraduate entrance examination (of course, I gave up later), and I stayed in Building 2 every day, which was quite comfortable. My life seems to be back on track, no longer like a dead body, living a soulless life.

She also wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and she was more persistent than me. She didn't give up until the end, but it seems that she didn't do well in the exam. I heard that she was looking for a job some time ago, and I don't know if she found it. At that time, I still had to call her every week, saying something without nutrition. Give her another pep talk. And she, most of the time just listening, said not much, quietly.

one night in mid-April, it should be Wednesday. I called her as usual, and when I was happy, she suddenly asked, "Is what you said before true?"

I was a little stunned, but I soon realized that she was talking about that and asked, "Do you want it to be true?"

"I hope he is not true."

"but it is."

We are all silent. I can already hear my heartbeat, plop, plop, and I am about to jump out.

It was a long time before I heard her say, "Well, can you say that again?"

"ok."

"Go ahead."

"Well, I I like you."

"It's so unromantic. Can we have something romantic?"

"romantic? Ok, I'll be right there. "

After hanging up the phone, I immediately went back to the classroom to pack my schoolbag, ran back to the dormitory as quickly as possible, and ignored the others. I wrote the following five poems on my bedside and sent them to her by SMS (I wanted to use love letters, but I couldn't wait).

there are thousands of kinds of love songs, which is not enough to express my heart. Look at the stones on the mountain, and you will be faithful forever.

two men ride healthy horses, and they are good at singing wind songs. Sleepless at night, afraid of dreaming too much.

since last year, when will it be a good day? On the Yangtze River tonight, the bright moon spreads acacia.

four, dare not speak out of turn, 2 years from now. Help each other to grow old, and enjoy the colorful clouds.

five, without Pan Lang's appearance, you can't be a Chen Wangcai. There is a heart like a child, waiting for the mountains to bloom.

I was so excited that my hands trembled when I typed. Finally, she sent a short message, the tone was a little confused, but the general meaning was clear. The content is roughly as follows:

"I am very touched. Let me think about our affairs again and give you an answer in two days."

at seven or eight o'clock the following Monday night, she called me, with a tone that was not right and seemed to be apologetic. My heart began to sink, but my mouth was still joking as usual. In the end, she finally said to me, "I'm sorry, I still can't find the feeling of treating you as a boyfriend." We are still friends, ok? "

"Good," though I say so, I feel very uncomfortable, and even have begun to doubt myself. Finally, I hung up the phone in a seemingly relaxed but extremely boring atmosphere.

after that, we returned to the original state, but there seems to be something separated.

On the summer vacation after her junior year, she worked and reviewed in the city where her school was located. And I, because I gave up the postgraduate entrance examination long ago, went home. That summer vacation, we had already made an appointment. We met when she came home, but it was near, but suddenly I couldn't contact her. My mobile phone was always turned off, and I had no other way to contact her. Those days were really depressing. It was not until the day she left that she sent me a text message saying that the mobile phone charger was left at school, and the mobile phone was dead, so it couldn't be turned on and I couldn't be contacted. What a lame excuse. Of course, it may be true. I'd rather believe that's an excuse, because similar things have happened before. It's just that she couldn't get away from visiting relatives that time, and this time her mobile phone was dead. I was very angry at that time and vowed not to contact her for the rest of my life. Now that I think about it, it's childish.

I got in touch with her again half a month after my senior year, and she contacted me on her own initiative. By this time, it was about a month since the last incident. Although most of the anger has subsided, the two people have identified a lot. I don't call so often. It's normal to call once every two or three weeks. Everyone has been wasting their last bit of patience. Until one day, she suddenly called me like crazy. But because I have the habit of mute my mobile phone, I didn't receive it. I didn't find it until I was about to rest, so I called her and asked her what was important.

"Use SMS, I'm not convenient now." Listen to the tone, is angry.

"ok."

Not long after, a short message came: "Do you know how many times I called you? Why not answer it? " I am really angry. I was a little helpless, but I was deceived again by the following words, which read: "Actually, I like you a little, but I have been hesitating." I finally made up my mind, but you didn't answer my phone. "

I'm really confused. I really don't understand what's going on in a woman's head. Rejected me so many times, but when I was going to give up, I took the initiative to confess to me. I'm really tired, and I don't want to play this kind of love game anymore. I just hope I can find a girl to be nice to her, and she is nice to me, so I can say it if I like it, instead of being entangled in this endless chaos all day. I just replied faintly: "Really? Won't refuse me again. "

"Can you plan our future?"

"Well, if possible, I would like to live with you forever." I can't remember the rest, but I remember that she was in a hurry, as if afraid that I didn't intend to treat her seriously, and I kept urging her. But I typed slowly, and finally, the first paragraph was sent, which finally relieved her fidgety heart a little. However, when it comes to the specific philosophy of life, we have differences. I remember that I used four words at that time, scholar and the world, career and career. I pursued scholar and career, but she was just the opposite of me. Finally, we parted ways because of different ideas.

it is certain that there are differences. I am a pure idealist, and I admire unparalleled statesmen like Zhang Liang and Zhuge Liang most, and I hold the great ambition of self-cultivation and governing the country and the world. And she only has to cultivate one's morality, and pays more attention to the kind of living at home. And I absolutely don't like to think about it in this respect. Just holding your own ideals, rushing around in this world, but you can't even do it.

My personality is not harmonious either. I am frank, and I am careless if I have anything to say. However, she is different. She likes to keep all the troubles in her heart and doesn't tell me. I want to help her but I can't, so I can only worry on the other end of the phone. Maybe, she is too strong. I would rather work hard by myself than let others see her in a mess.

We both know these things, but we just don't want to face them and have been avoiding them.

after that, our relationship became worse and worse, and in the end, we stopped contacting each other at all. It was only in March and April this year that I called her to ask about the recent situation, but I couldn't get through. Later, she texted back and said not to contact her again. She was already upset enough, so don't make it worse for her.

this is my love in college.

Postscript

My classmates all say that I am a love idiot. Maybe it is. In fact, until now, I don't know how she feels about me. Maybe love, maybe, is just an impulse. Anyway, it's all over.

I hope that she won't meet a thousand-year-old stone like me again. I wish her happiness.