Chat classic deception routine

1. I have three sentences to tell you, including the following one. Thank you.

I miss you so much. When can I see you? You miss me so much that I can't sleep at night, tossing and turning. Should I repay the money I borrowed?

You have a kind heart, and you will selflessly help everyone in the world who needs help. Everyone says that you are an angel from heaven to help others. Unfortunately, your face landed first!

Do you think I can't find you if you hide? It's no use. No matter where you are, there is always an aura that attracts others' attention. You are not ignorant. It will smell good if you don't take a shower for so long!

You always want to go back to ancient times and be an emperor. Finally, an expert cast a spell to help you cross back. You are so happy. Look in the mirror. Damn, the expert's spell is too powerful. Back in primitive times!

6. What happened? Call the mobile phone, voice prompt: you dialed a lazy pig from other places, please dial the pigsty area code before dialing the number. I can't believe it. Call again. Voice prompt: the owner has been slaughtered.

7. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you get fat. Then I'll eat pork. Oh yeah!

8. It makes sense to hear that eating garlic can prevent swine flu. Think about it: if you eat garlic, others will think you have a taste and won't come near you, and the swine flu virus can't come near you! Haha, don't forget to pack two cloves of garlic before you go out!

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, and falling in love with you is my happy choice; Pursuing you is the starting point of my happiness; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

10. Don't move! Read this message quietly! Look up, look down, don't forget the left and right! Have you finished reading it? Delete it after reading it!

1 1. Ask yourself a thousand times, why do you always miss you recently? When will you invite me to dinner?

12. The New Year is coming, and I have four words to say to you. Although I am a little embarrassed, this is not the time to be shy. If I don't say it, I will regret it, so I sincerely say to you, bring the red envelope!

13. Don't eat when you are hungry! I did it; Don't sleep when you are sleepy! I also did it; It's cold and naked, here we go again. I am such a strong person, but I didn't tell you when I missed you.

14. I wish I could go to see the sea with you, but I didn't go; I wish I could go hiking with you, but I didn't go because I was at a loss; I wish I could hang out with you, but I met a policeman and he said, "Don't take dogs shopping!" "

15. I want to tell you something. Don't tell anyone. I heard that people in the city beat dogs recently. I wonder if your master has hit you recently? Lao shifu misses you!

16. Attention, let me tell you about the energy-saving strategy of air conditioning in summer. My many years of experience only friends tell you: the first step is to find the power supply of air conditioning; Step 2, unplug the power supply; The third step is to check the effect. Look, the meter is slow.

17. There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a yearning called longing, and finally idiots will finish reading it!

18. The flowers in spring are gorgeous, that is your bright smile; The summer sun is very hot, that is your passion; Autumn is fruitful, that is your harvest; The winter wind is blowing, Xiaoqingwa, you are going to hibernate!

19. Bathed in the breeze, you are chic and relaxed; Bathed in the sun, you are in good shape; Your smell is so strong that you need to control your chickens, ducks and fish. You are a hero in the kitchen! I can't live without you, shallot!

20. Learning Chinese means sending text messages; Learning mathematics is to count money; Learning English means pretending to be a foreign country; Studying physics is to build an atomic bomb; Learning art means that you can draw like you without looking at the photos of your second brother!

2 1. Looking at your thin body day by day, I feel so uncomfortable that I can't eat and sleep. I beg you, don't lose weight again. If you keep losing weight like this, people will think I'm … I'm feeding you lean meat!

22. Dude, I went to the show yesterday and found an actor who looks exactly like you, so I asked the staff: Who is the actor who looks like my buddy? The staff said: That's an orangutan bought from Africa.

23. You are like many fish in my heart. You know, I like many fish best. Not only delicious, but also because of you-it's really superfluous! Ha, I'm kidding. I miss you. Call me back!

24. Are your ears itchy? Does that mean I miss you and my eyes itch? Does this mean that I want to see you? Does your mouth itch? That means I want to kiss you. Does it itch? That means ... stop joking. You have lice. Take a bath!

25. M: May I kiss you? Woman: No, man: What did I just say? Woman: May I kiss you? Man: Yes.

I miss those days very much. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers see you, they all praise you: hey, it's beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, such a small grade came out to release pigs!

27. This message has three main purposes: one is to connect feelings; The second is to pass the time; Third, I tell you responsibly: it's cold, remember not to wear open-backed pants again.

28. It was late at night, and I was walking alone in the alley, suddenly feeling so lonely, lonely and scared. I miss you eagerly, miss you and look forward to you. If only you were by my side, I really need you-flashlight!

29. I remember I really made up my mind and turned to leave. Behind me came your helpless crying and heartbreaking crying. Suddenly I feel how much I need you. I turned around and hugged you tightly: I really don't want to sell this pig!

30. The night is beautiful tonight. I really want to share it with you and enjoy it with you ... but I'm afraid others will look at us differently. After all, it's hard to take a stupid pig out at night without attracting attention!

3 1. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing gently, the willows are shaking their branches enthusiastically, the peach blossoms are emitting charming fragrance, and the stream is singing cheerful songs. What I want to say is … Work hard, the boss is coming!

32. Do you really want to know what I like about you? But I really dare not say it, and I have to say it. I just want you to stay away from me.

33. I really wish I could be with you. Did you sleep well? Are you full? Will it be cold at night? I know you can't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty!

I sent you home the day before yesterday and walked to a luxurious building. You looked at me affectionately and said, go home. I looked at your back for a long time and saw four words written on it: mental hospital.

35. I just heard that you were trafficked, which really scared me. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it.

36. I really miss you. I really want to see you and see you like this, but I really don't want to ... My heart is in a mess-every time I see you, my heart is pounding, and the results of the mental hospital examination come out. You are such an idiot!

I know you like me, but I really don't like you. Although you have my flesh and blood in your stomach, please stop harassing me, or I will be rude to you, you dead mosquito!

38. It's hard to forget the feeling of holding your hand, kissing you and your unique taste. Let me smoke your cigarette again.

39. Bajie Huazhai is gone forever. One day, a man who looks like Bajie came from a distance. Wukong said it might be a demon, and Tang Priest said, Try sending a text message, or you will quit!

40. Summer weekend, hot summer, scorching sun, I miss you very much. I feel hot and dry when I think of you. I especially want to meet you when it is hot and dry. As soon as I saw you, I couldn't wait to jump into your arms … my dear swimming pool!

4 1. Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow!

42. I heard that you were wearing a broken sack and walking at a strange pace that day; I was caught as a thief and brought you a dog tag?

43. I've always wanted to say three words to you, but you know its weight. I'm afraid that once we say it, we won't even have friends. But I can't control my feelings and summon up courage to say to you: you are a pig.

44. The five internal organs belong to five elements, the liver belongs to wood, the heart belongs to fire, the lung belongs to gold, the kidney belongs to water, and the spleen belongs to soil. I did the math for you. It turns out that your five elements are short of fire and gold. No wonder you haven't invited me to dinner for so long. So you are heartless!

Since I first met you, I have been deeply attracted by you. Because of your behavior, I can't help looking at you. Now I can't hold back, I want to tell you: you are simply a puppy that can walk on two legs.

46. Give the toilet a good wipe. The toilet thanked me and asked me if I had any wishes to help me realize it. I said, I hope you can take care of the pig who reads the short message for me! I hope he is happy every time he poops!

47. You are the eighth weirdo in Jiangnan. You are always outside when you don't go home. You don't drink or eat vegetables. You don't talk about love, you don't have sex. You often have sex without a condom. You often treat a young lady as a quilt, and you are lazy without giving money. People are often kicked.

48. What a strange thing? Just dialed your mobile phone, prompting to reply: the other party is streaking. I'm afraid I heard wrong! Dial again At this time, the prompt reply: Sorry, the dialed user has run out of the earth.

49. I have made a lot of preparations for you. I made a special trip to the supermarket to buy a lot of things you need. Now, everything is ready. Your duck can finally cook.

50. The wild boar was killed immediately. I only heard pleading with my master: It doesn't matter if I am killed, just please don't let my wife see it, don't make her sad, don't disturb her, just let it play with her mobile phone there.

5 1. Your outstanding performance has made great contributions, and the organization decided to reward you. You sit at the dining table with a medal around your neck and are indifferent to the sumptuous banquet. Just when I was wondering, I saw you flying higher and higher and pouncing on something. Take a closer look: a bone.

I've been wanting to see you, but I can't because I'm busy. I finally have time today. That's why I came to see you in the kennel.

53. Do you know that the toad confessed to the swan today, and the swan said, who is like you might as well die! Toad is not convinced: the pig head next door is still alive and well! The pig said gloomily, I was just reading the text message. Why did I get shot again?

54. Domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars are born in the mountains, and stupid pigs are reading this message. If the stupid pig is laughing, the fat pig is angry and the dead pig is ignoring me, even the pig is not as good as the person who doesn't reply.

Recently, mice love rice, which reminds me of you. You are tender and boneless, and your fragile little body really makes me nervous: Damn Mi Chong! Don't hurt my rice!

56. The moonlight is really beautiful tonight. I really want to walk down the street with you. I really like the feeling of walking side by side with you ... but I'm afraid others will look at me differently. After all, it's easy to be noticed when I take the lead in the street at night!

Recently, mice love rice, which reminds me of you involuntarily. Your skinny skin and fragile little body really make me nervous: damn bugs! Don't hurt my rice again!

58. Pigs are pigs and cows are cows. What changed you? People change. No, you were born to your mother.

59. In my eyes, you have always been carefree, eating so sweetly and sleeping so comfortably. Sometimes I feel: I really envy your puppy life!

60. You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper and survived. Without you, who will set off the beauty of the world!

6 1. You and I walked quietly on the path in our hometown. You bowed your head shyly and said nothing. When the villagers saw me, they all said: Good boy, dressed neatly and beautifully, but it's a pity to come out to release pigs at such a young age!

62. Come down when you feel good about yourself, come down when you feel humorous, come down when you feel attractive, and come down when you feel smart. Well, it's shameless.

Attention, everyone, quiz: the contestants are elephants, pigs and you. The results of the competition have come out: first, elephants are better than pigs, and you are better than elephants. The final ranking is: you are like a pig. Ok, tell me!

64. After having you, I believe in fate; After having you, I believe that fate is doomed; Maybe all this is pulling you and me in the dark. I really want to say angrily: how much I owe you in my last life!

65. Say you are a phoenix, I say you are a crow; You say you are a rose, and I say you are? ] toad; You said you were a lively deer, and I said you were a naughty pig!

66. A kind of love and a kind of infatuation make up my passionate love for you; Every bit of life is trivial, and I will rely on you closely; No matter the wind and rain, I will be fearless with you all my life. Really need you, money!

67. What can I say about you? You are really different! Give some sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give some happiness and you will be romantic; If you like it, you fart; Give some praise and you will praise it; Give a little praise and you'll be crazy.

68. Do you know? We have known each other for a long time. You followed me closely, put your face on me, sniffed me with your nose and bit me gently with your mouth ... At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

69. You have high blood pressure, high blood lipid and low position. No speech at the conference, no speech at the meeting, prostatitis. The political achievements are not outstanding, the performance is not outstanding, and the lumbar disc is outstanding.

70. I didn't know what love was until I read the story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl. I didn't know what it means to be a brother until I read the story of Taoyuan Sanjieyi. I didn't know what a perfect match is until I saw a picture of you and an orangutan!

7 1. Seeing that so many people like you, I secretly encourage myself and must strive to pursue you. When I approached you, I smelled the smell of my body, and finally I couldn't help vomiting … stinky tofu!

72. If time can stand still, I hope to stay at your happiest moment. If time can go back, I hope to go back to you when I was a child, live a carefree life and see your face and nose every day!

I really don't understand why you always try to stand in a bright place every night. Later, someone reminded me that you wanted to see pigs that night!

74. If you procrastinate, you procrastinate. The most likely thing is that when others don't exist, you just bask in the sun all day and are not afraid to scare others. Don't think you are handsome, but you are just Marshal Tian Peng!

75. On that summer afternoon, I took you into the green tent. The sun was shining high and the breeze lifted my clothes. We had a wonderful afternoon together: you bowed your head and ate grass, while I read the picture book!

76. It is said that men and women don't like each other in less than a second. Look at the second one, I have a good impression; Look at the second one, you will feel dark; Look at the second picture, it is affectionate; I looked at you, and then I ... I wanted to throw up!

77. You are so cute-poor and unloved; You look so good-it's really not your fault that you look like this; You are a genius-a born fool; You are very emotional-stingy and neurotic.

78. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes have been staring at me, and I really can't refuse you-be a good dog and take you for a walk.

79. Warm reminder: The weather is changeable, so dress carefully! I miss you in the light rain, but I don't mind showers, which send my heart away in windy days. I miss you on a cloudy day, and I will never give up on a sunny day. There are surprises on a cloudy day! If it snows, you won't wake up!

80. Since the day I lost contact with you, I have been worrying about you every day and looking for your whereabouts everywhere. Maybe you don't know how anxious I am, but I won't give up, because the price of pork has gone up and you have appreciated!

8 1. I consulted some classics, visited psychologists, naturalists and physicists at home and abroad, and combined with my experiments, I finally found a way to escape the summer, that is: stay in your cool place!

82. A man told me that you can't eat anything. I gave him a good beating and slandered you like this. I don't know the rest. Don't you and I know? Besides eating, you can at least sleep, run and grind your teeth!

83. You are unsmiling, but you love to show off; Although your mouth is not sweet, it is pleasing; You are diligent, but not disgusting; You were born with the ability to watch the door. Look at your wide eyes. This bone is for you.

84. It's already late at night. I woke up from a dream. On the grass in the suburbs, when you approached me slowly, my heart was pounding. It all came so suddenly that I shouted at a loss ... Mouse!

85. Is your Mandarin standard? Please repeat after me: look at it, look at it, forget it, look at it. All right, dog, stop barking and eat bones, okay? !

86. The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their existence. At this time, you can easily find yourself by tapping the hammer with your thumb.

87. I really like your big ears, wide face, thick lips and black eyes. Your singing is great, and the lyrics are always in the same tune-hum-hum. You are my pet pig!

88. When you were born, you had a whirlpool, your face was black and your fingers were invisible, two leaves covered your face, and the rivers and lakes flew over the walls, making chickens fly and dogs bark, making the beauty dumbfounded. I think I am the leader of the Beggars' Sect, but I actually live in a mental hospital.

89. One day, a mantis showed off to an ant and said, Look how handsome I am with two knives. The ant was about to speak when a chicken came and ate the mantis in one bite. The ant saw it, shook his head and said, I wonder if it is hitting now? How dare you run around the street with a knife?

90. If missing is a wisp of smoke, let the wind blow to you and let you know how much I miss you. If you are worried about a drop of rain, let the heavy rain fall on your head and let you know how much I miss you; Have you caught a cold？

9 1. The latest fitness method: stand with one leg, tilt your head, stand with one leg bent, then straighten out quickly, let your body leave the ground and do free fall. At the same time, if you hit your head with one hand, the water in your brain will flow out of your ear hole. Do it!

92. Master has a cold, so it's good to read the scriptures. When big brother catches a cold, he somersaults; When I caught a cold, I danced back to shovel; You have a cold, so don't go out. Second brother, you have a cold, and the whole world is worried. That's great.

93. I was shocked to see that the model of your mobile phone was extremely radioactive on the Internet yesterday. I was just about to inform you that I was relieved to see that it was useless to people with IQ less than. Don't worry, keep using it.

Today, let's recall our childhood together. Let's throw handkerchiefs and sandbags together. I don't believe this. I can't try my best to turn your head into a yurt.

95. I'm sorry to bother you so late. I just want to ask: Are you asleep?

96. I didn't bring paper to the toilet, so I'm going to ask someone to deliver it. I took out my mobile phone and looked at it. Uh, no signal. Who built the toilet? Take it.

97. Do you want to get ahead? Do you want to get rich? Do you want to pay homage to your ancestors? Do you want to be rich? Do you want to get promoted and get rich? Forget it, wash and sleep, I have to work tomorrow!

98. I heard that you have changed recently. You quit smoking, drinking, gambling, sex, greed, boredom, work and love, so everyone calls you Bajie.

99. Looking at the cloudless sky in Wan Li, listening to the sound of flowing streams, the grass around me is swaying gently with the wind. How beautiful nature is! It's a pity that the air is polluted by a fart you just farted!

100. I remember that night, you dreamed that you had a pair of wings that you wanted to fly, so I flapped my wings gently and came to you gently-and then kicked you and said, Stop dreaming, idiot!

10 1. Thank you for watching flowers with me in spring, sunsets with me in summer, fallen leaves with me in autumn and snow with me in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, I really thank you … glasses!

102. The reason why I often delete my circle of friends and Weibo is because: I hate my ignorance and melodramatic self for a second because of my arrogance and indifference.

103. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

104. Beautiful skins can't be played, interesting souls ignore you, and so can exquisite skins. Matching souls are one in a million.

105. Freud can no longer analyze you, but can only describe you with one of China's most famous words: cheap.

106. When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

107. Failure is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you still believe this sentence.

108. If it doesn't work, it will be divided. Buy it if you like. Try restarting it. It's none of your business or mine. Apply this simple and rude rule often and you will solve the troubles of life.

109. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

1 10. Adult life is not easy except to gain weight and lose hair.

1 1 1. You have countless spare tires, and your feelings remain unchanged, not because you are charming, but because you are cheap and versatile!

1 12. Don't believe anything, because when it betrays you, you can't afford it.

1 13. Some people say not to complain often, because life is like knowing whether you drink water well or not. I want to ask, are you too hot to shout?

1 14. When I need you, you are not absent, but you don't care; So, when you need me, I don't want to, but I don't want to talk to you.

1 15. The more you know, the less you care, the more you experience, the less you complain, the more you are carefree and melodramatic.

1 16. Sometimes people who look better than you are often smarter than you. Isn't it just poking?

1 17. I'd rather keep silent and make people look like fools than prove that I am.

1 18. If you are sick, you can cure the disease. Don't look for me. I'm not a vet.

1 19. You can't even control what time you sleep, but you still want to control your life. Your problem is that you can understand everything, but you are lazy!

120. When a lion is chasing after you, you don't have to run faster than the lion, just run faster than others to survive.

12 1. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems. How to have money is your biggest problem.

122. You are neither the Monkey King nor the Supreme Treasure. You are just those people under the city wall, watching others' love, chewing your youth and living like a dog.

123. You can love a scum three or five times, but you can't love a scum three or five times. Going the wrong way may be bad luck, but jumping into the pit all the time is bad IQ.

124. If growling can solve the problem, donkeys will rule the world. This is the most classic sentence I have seen this year. -control your emotions and speak softly.

125. There are no real fools in the world. Don't be clever with anyone. You can't make progress unless you are exposed. If you are exposed, you will be humiliated.

126. If it is safe, the spare tire will be old.

127. Sometimes you don't know what despair is without hard work.

128. My goal in life is to own my own house in Beijing at the age of 30. Now I have finished half my goal: I am thirty years old.

129. Do you think rich people are as happy as you think? You are wrong. The happiness of the rich is beyond your imagination.

130. Pay attention to details and start from small things, because you can't do big things.

13 1. Nothing is difficult in the world, as long as you are willing to give up.

132. My soul mate is a hero in the world, and one day he will step on colorful clouds and marry someone else.

133. Do you think Zhao Mosheng is really stupid? You forget that he and He Chenyi went to the same university.

134. You have worked hard to know that the IQ gap is insurmountable.

135. If he calls you back in seconds, it only means that he is playing with his mobile phone.

136. Don't worry about what you can't solve today, because you can't solve it tomorrow.

137. You tried your best, but you may not be as good as others.

138. Don't expect to lose weight. Bajie walked a hundred thousand miles and didn't see him lose weight. He is still a vegetarian!

139. Don't believe Cinderella's fairy tales. If the shoes really fit, they won't fall off at that time.

140. If you like someone, you can bravely confess. Maybe you can know what spare tire you are.

14 1. You never know how comfortable it is to stay at home until you go out for a walk.

142. Whatever you do, try your best to suck milk. There is no milk to eat anyway.

143. When you feel ugly and poor, don't be sad, at least your judgment is right.

144. Failure is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you believe this sentence.

145. Stop losing weight. You are ugly not only because you are fat.

146. When God closes a door for you, he will also clamp your brain.

147. God is fair. If he gives you an ugly look, he will definitely give you a very low IQ, so as not to make you appear uncoordinated.

148. If you like a girl, study hard from now on, find a good job and earn a lot of money later, and then pay more when she gets married.

149. Do you know why beautiful women have been unlucky since ancient times? Because no one cares how long ugly people live.

150. Now parents let their children participate in various interest classes from an early age. In order not to let their children lose at the starting line, as we all know, some people were born at the finish line.