What should my son do if he doesn't know what he is studying for?

You said, "I didn't see him struggling when I read it again ... he didn't pay enough attention to the schedule." You reason with him, he says he knows, but his behavior is another matter. ...... Texting in the quilt, the teacher reflected that his mental state in class was not very good. I reminded him many times, but the effect was not very good. " From this point of view, you usually emphasize children's learning more than knowing their psychology and not knowing what they are thinking. Is texting to explore learning, decompress yourself or other reasons?

In view of this situation, you are worried that "you can't decide whether to take compulsory measures now, but you are afraid that it will be counterproductive if you don't handle it well." The child is old and rebellious. What should I do? " It is obviously reasonable, and once compulsory measures are taken, it is likely to be counterproductive! I put forward the following suggestions for your reference:

First of all, we need parents, especially the father of the child, to spend some time every day to calm down and communicate with the child calmly, so as to clearly understand the child's current thinking, thinking and learning, all of which need to be learned from the child's mouth. In this process, don't worry, don't force the child, and don't express disappointment with the child, let the child speak all his feelings and thoughts. When we know what children are thinking, thinking and learning (such as goals, learning plans, concrete implementation, etc. ), then we are more skilled in encouraging (supporting and encouraging) children.

Secondly, it is suggested that parents should not always talk about studying hard, and how hard they work for their children. This is something that mothers should pay special attention to. This is because repeat students are inherently more stressed than freshmen. If the mother talks too much about learning, on the one hand, it will increase the children's learning pressure and ideological burden; On the other hand, they will experience mental stress such as anxiety, irritability, panic, helplessness, etc. because their children can't release stress, which leads to the brain being in a state of "reading and writing protection". Therefore, we should change the concept of family education and make the family a place where children can cultivate their lives and gain happiness, joy, joy and love. Therefore, we must create a harmonious atmosphere in the family and let the children solve or eliminate all the pressure at home.

Third, we should always encourage and appreciate children in the family and try our best to find their tiny progress. As long as there is a little effort and progress, we should encourage them in time, so as to bring them confidence and motivation to change. At the same time, we should communicate with the teacher in class, introduce the child's personality characteristics to the teacher euphemistically and respectfully, and suggest taking care of the child more, preferably praise and encouragement. Through internal and external induction, encouragement and appreciation, children can be encouraged to open their hearts and communicate with teachers, and then focus on their studies.

Fourth, you didn't know the specific situation of your child's study because he was not with you in senior three, but he was admitted to a junior college, which shows that his study plan, study style and self-control ability are quite good. In this case, we must trust our children and advise them to make a study plan suitable for their own characteristics and study according to their own characteristics and actual situation. Don't care what books others are reading, what questions they are doing, what points they have learned, where their grades are tested, and so on. Keep yourself, grasp yourself, and follow your goals. This is because everyone's needs and goals are different, and the curve of progress and development is also different. Only children know their own situation best, so it is important for children to keep themselves.

Fifth, don't ask too much of your child's study or review. Too much supervision actually increases children's psychological burden, and at the same time increases children's anxiety and irritability. When children talk to you about their difficulties or pressures, you should listen more and talk less. Children tell you that stress is actually an emotional catharsis and a trust in you. In fact, he knows how to solve this pressure. What he needs at this time is your understanding, care and support. At this time, all you have to do is trust the child, comfort the child's fidgety heart with your own calmness, and send a message to the child with your trust: Don't worry, child! No matter at any time and under any circumstances, you are the favorite of mom/dad, and mom/dad is a solid arm that you can rely on at any time.

Sixth, at an appropriate time, tell your son more about how he faced difficulties and setbacks in life and how he overcame and surpassed them. Because my son is still young, he has little experience of trauma and frustration, or even has not experienced it. At this time, his parents are his mirrors and role models. If you talk to him more about this, it will definitely have a positive impact on him.

Seventh, your son's "texting under the quilt" is probably a way to decompress himself. We know that when senior three students feel the pressure of study, they will relieve and adjust themselves psychologically in various ways, or let their emotions vent, so as to adjust themselves and relieve the trouble of study pressure. I think your child is a very clever child. On the one hand, he may let his emotions vent in this way, so as to adjust himself and relieve the trouble of learning pressure. On the other hand, it may be escaping from the source of tension and coping with learning troubles with negative behavior. I think his apparent slackness is actually trying to cover up his psychological pressure to learn well, especially to get high marks. So I suggest you communicate with your child like a friend, understand his situation and psychological pressure, ease his mood, spend more time with your child, relieve his psychological pressure, let him go into battle lightly and confidently devote himself to the review before the exam.

Finally, let children understand the true meaning of the word "student". The so-called "student" is to learn the skills of life, survival and development. If we want to survive, survive and develop, we will inevitably face countless hardships and setbacks. Life is made up of countless difficulties and setbacks. If we want to live happily in this world, we must learn the psychology and behavior of "indomitable", "hard work" and "I will never give up until the end". If we can't learn these things when we were students, how can we face a long life in the future? The road is our own, and each of us has our own specialties. As long as we learn the psychology and behavior of "never admit defeat", "take a chance" and "I will never give up until the end" in the process of study, life and development, our future life will be happy, happy and loving.